June 2017 I-129F Filers, Part IV

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

10 hours ago, Lotts said:

Congratulations, @KBA!!! This is awesome news!!! All you lucky people with your great news and such. It's lovely to read. 💜

 

It's been really tough and $h!t for me, if I'm honest. Had a great couple of months and then he's turned into some kind of control freak who is hell bent on blaming everything on me. I live with him in a basement, (I've been sick for almost 2 months because of the conditions, poor food quality,) he won't file for the AOS because he hasn't done his taxes and other reasons he won't say, and he's spent all the money his mother gave us in July to file for the AOS. Keeps telling me that he spent it on me but none of it adds up. 😞 He's tried setting me up for under the table jobs he knows I can't do and then I'm labelled a bad person for not taking them.

 

So, I'm pretty sure I'm illegal now and I'm really nervous about it. I'm also not sure what to do and if this is even the right thread for this. 

I'm a mess. I really didn't expect any of this and I'm really scared about what to do or what I can do. I sure as hell can't afford to eat, let alone pack all my stuff and my cat to go back. 

I gave up everything for him. Home, job, family, friends...

 

I'm really scared, guys. I cry every day because I don't know what to do. 😭

 

Noooo this broke my heart.

 

Ugh. I wish I had some amazing advice for you. I can tell you that you are not the first, and there are so many options available to you, depending on what outcome you are seeking.

 

As previous posted said - review the IMBRA pamphlet. Situations just like this are why they provide that to the beneficiary.

 

Also - your health is the foremost concern right now. Please seek out some local food banks or whatever is available in your area. If your ultimate intent is to leave the relationship (it's no one's place to tell you that you should, or judge you based on what you do want to do), you can also seek out a women's shelter as well. The living conditions would be significantly better, and you would be fed better.

 

Do you have any friends or family back home who could help you get home, financially? If you do, I'm sure they would not want to be leave you where you are living the way you are.

[Lotts 1,433]

44 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Noooo this broke my heart.

 

Ugh. I wish I had some amazing advice for you. I can tell you that you are not the first, and there are so many options available to you, depending on what outcome you are seeking.

 

As previous posted said - review the IMBRA pamphlet. Situations just like this are why they provide that to the beneficiary.

 

Also - your health is the foremost concern right now. Please seek out some local food banks or whatever is available in your area. If your ultimate intent is to leave the relationship (it's no one's place to tell you that you should, or judge you based on what you do want to do), you can also seek out a women's shelter as well. The living conditions would be significantly better, and you would be fed better.

 

Do you have any friends or family back home who could help you get home, financially? If you do, I'm sure they would not want to be leave you where you are living the way you are.

I honestly don't know is what to do. It's broken me, for sure. I never saw it coming. I don't know why he wouldn't/won't file for the AOS. Surely extra money coming in would help situations?

It's been eye opening and heart breaking.

 

As for help, I have nowhere to go back in the UK and I exhausted my help options getting here. (He never helped me. Had the excuse of saving money here to get an apt.. There was no money. He spent the last of my £ I had.) 

 

I'm going to try and sit down with him at the weekend and see if he'll talk, like an adult, about it and what the hell is going on. I'm really anxious though.

 

Who would have thought this, eh? If I would have known this was going g to happen, I could have saved myself a whole lot of money, saved myself from stress, and a possible ban from the USA. 😞

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

6 minutes ago, Lotts said:

I honestly don't know is what to do. It's broken me, for sure. I never saw it coming. I don't know why he wouldn't/won't file for the AOS. Surely extra money coming in would help situations?

It's been eye opening and heart breaking.

 

As for help, I have nowhere to go back in the UK and I exhausted my help options getting here. (He never helped me. Had the excuse of saving money here to get an apt.. There was no money. He spent the last of my £ I had.) 

 

I'm going to try and sit down with him at the weekend and see if he'll talk, like an adult, about it and what the hell is going on. I'm really anxious though.

 

Who would have thought this, eh? If I would have known this was going g to happen, I could have saved myself a whole lot of money, saved myself from stress, and a possible ban from the USA. 😞

Absolutely! No one would ever embark on a process this stressful and demanding if they knew it wouldn't end with the happy ending they're doing it for.

 

I certainly do not understand why people delay AOS, other than due to extensive circumstances. We filed Paul's AOS as soon as possible - having him start working any day now would be AMAZING. Two people on one income is definitely not the preferred, or easiest, means for living. He's been going stir crazy just not being able to work, so I can only imagine how you are feeling in your situation. I feel guilty almost daily for Paul being kind of "stuck" right now until he can start working - I could never live with myself if I knew I was directly creating more hardship for him. He's sacrificed so much as it is.

 

Based on your comments, I would recommend attempting at least one last "come to Jesus" meeting with your husband. Undistracted, undivided, non-confrontational. Just sit down comfortably somewhere and tell him what you are feeling and what it's doing to you. Don't be afraid to show the emotions that this is putting on you. Maybe he needs to see it. And maybe tell him your only choice, if things don't change, is to leave. For good. Because you aren't interested in being here illegally, which he is forcing you to do by refusing you AOS. Even if you don't have a means to get home NOW, I would still put it out there that if you could have your way, that'd definitely be your resolution if need be.

 

Praying for you. I could never say I understand, I can only imagine. And my heart hurts for you right now I wish I could give you a hug. Or at least invite you over for some tea and good old fashioned cathartic crying.

[George & Roth 1,485]

On 1/16/2019 at 11:22 PM, Lotts said:

Congratulations, @KBA!!! This is awesome news!!! All you lucky people with your great news and such. It's lovely to read. 💜

 

It's been really tough and $h!t for me, if I'm honest. Had a great couple of months and then he's turned into some kind of control freak who is hell bent on blaming everything on me. I live with him in a basement, (I've been sick for almost 2 months because of the conditions, poor food quality,) he won't file for the AOS because he hasn't done his taxes and other reasons he won't say, and he's spent all the money his mother gave us in July to file for the AOS. Keeps telling me that he spent it on me but none of it adds up. 😞 He's tried setting me up for under the table jobs he knows I can't do and then I'm labelled a bad person for not taking them.

 

So, I'm pretty sure I'm illegal now and I'm really nervous about it. I'm also not sure what to do and if this is even the right thread for this. 

I'm a mess. I really didn't expect any of this and I'm really scared about what to do or what I can do. I sure as hell can't afford to eat, let alone pack all my stuff and my cat to go back. 

I gave up everything for him. Home, job, family, friends...

 

I'm really scared, guys. I cry every day because I don't know what to do. 😭

 

 

Sorry to hear things have turned sour. 

 

Why not just file the taxes? Use this website and click on "Prior Years" it is quite easy https://www.freetaxusa.com/  . He can fill it out and even before mailing it just attach it to the AOS. If he is afraid of owing money he can send it in with no payment made. Later he can get a payment plan to pay any back tax owed, I think you can stretch it over years so it would not be difficult to manage financially. 

 

You get that going and file the employment authorization ASAP. You can expedite the Employment Authorization card if you can show them a job offer. 

 

Once you get the NOA 1 from the AOS, you are in good standing in the USA. So you will be there in no time if he sends it in! Fill it out for him as much as possible and let him fill in the blanks. And while I would be worried about delaying this, there is minimal chance you are going to face any serious issues like ICE knocking on the door or Trump kicking you over his wall. 

 

That's for the process part of it, but you really need to think about the human part. Is this the man you want to be with? Do you have a real future together? Is he someone that is just satisfied with "basement living" and eating poorly and is that something you can live with? The lack of trust over where money is going is a red flag. 

 

My suggestion, figure out that you really want to stay with him or not. If you do you need to get your/his ### on the taxes and AOS as above. If you want to end it, contact your embassy and get some help (they may give a repatriation loan but those are not given very easily). 

 

[Greenbaum 12,259]

7 hours ago, George & Roth said:

 

Sorry to hear things have turned sour. 

 

Why not just file the taxes? Use this website and click on "Prior Years" it is quite easy https://www.freetaxusa.com/  . He can fill it out and even before mailing it just attach it to the AOS. If he is afraid of owing money he can send it in with no payment made. Later he can get a payment plan to pay any back tax owed, I think you can stretch it over years so it would not be difficult to manage financially. 

 

You get that going and file the employment authorization ASAP. You can expedite the Employment Authorization card if you can show them a job offer. 

 

Once you get the NOA 1 from the AOS, you are in good standing in the USA. So you will be there in no time if he sends it in! Fill it out for him as much as possible and let him fill in the blanks. And while I would be worried about delaying this, there is minimal chance you are going to face any serious issues like ICE knocking on the door or Trump kicking you over his wall. 

 

That's for the process part of it, but you really need to think about the human part. Is this the man you want to be with? Do you have a real future together? Is he someone that is just satisfied with "basement living" and eating poorly and is that something you can live with? The lack of trust over where money is going is a red flag. 

 

My suggestion, figure out that you really want to stay with him or not. If you do you need to get your/his ### on the taxes and AOS as above. If you want to end it, contact your embassy and get some help (they may give a repatriation loan but those are not given very easily). 

 

Great suggestions. I hope she makes those hard decisions and finds happiness. Each of us deserve as much.

[George & Roth 1,485]

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/35519/support-for-british-nationals-abroad.pdf

 

Repatriation loan info

[Lotts 1,433]

On 1/19/2019 at 3:51 PM, George & Roth said:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/35519/support-for-british-nationals-abroad.pdf

 

Repatriation loan info

I've read through this. I'm not sure if qualify at all. 😞

 

Ever wish you could know the future to spare yourself heartache, and a $h!t tonne of money?! 😒🙄

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

On ‎1‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 8:11 PM, Lotts said:

I've read through this. I'm not sure if qualify at all. 😞

 

Ever wish you could know the future to spare yourself heartache, and a $h!t tonne of money?! 😒🙄

I hate this so much for you. Idk, I feel like our little group here is some kind of a family. We all started this path together at the same time, and leaned on one another for so long while we all waited our turn. I hate seeing this happen to one of us. I wish I could do something more than just post this on this thread. ***hugs***

[daleguthery 305]

Just popping back in to give updates! We got married on June 16th, 2018 and filed for her AOS, EAD and AP in July. She had her green card interview on March 11th, and was approved! Her green card is showing scheduled delivery for this Monday

[britishandusa 446]

Just received our GC today! Whoo! 

[George & Roth 1,485]

3 minutes ago, daleguthery said:

Just popping back in to give updates! We got married on June 16th, 2018 and filed for her AOS, EAD and AP in July. She had her green card interview on March 11th, and was approved! Her green card is showing scheduled delivery for this Monday

Just a couple more things left to do. I-751 (2 years less 90 days from green card date) and N-400 (3 years from Green Card)!

 

BTW, I am so nutso I already filled out those forms despite the fact they will expire and knowing the N-400 can be done online. My wife got the green card last month. 

 

Congrats!

[George & Roth 1,485]

And we have our newest member born Feb 22nd 👶🍼

 

 

 

Our son turned 4 on Feb 21, so 1 day difference in birthday from his little sister.  Given both were almost born on the same day my friends joked that 9 months before must be my birthday 🙈

 

[KBA 542]

Not sure if anyone checks in here anymore from our old group but we are finally getting married in May! What a long and winding road it’s been to get here! Next step...more paperwork of course! Hope everyone is doing well! 

Edited April 9, 2019 by KBA

[Allthephils 536]

23 hours ago, KBA said:

Not sure if anyone checks in here anymore from our old group but we are finally getting married in May! What a long and winding road it’s been to get here! Next step...more paperwork of course! Hope everyone is doing well! 

Congratulations!! I check in often :). Hope everyone is doing well! 

[George & Roth 1,485]

I turned on notifications so I get an email whenever someone updates in this topic.

 

Glad to see the others progress, even the Canadian! 

Edited April 11, 2019 by George & Roth