March 2018 I-129f Filers

[pb5446 56]

4 hours ago, clamardo said:

Anyone please, I need a trick to help me distance myself from all this mess and put myself in relaxed waiting mode. 

Sounds like you need to move to a state with legal weed.

 

If that won't work for you, make a goal to learn something before your fiance moves here. For example, my fiance is an incredible singer/guitarist and I'm trying to learn the basics of piano so we can play together. I'm a slow learner, so what happens is my mind plays a trick on me where I actually want this process to take longer so I have more time to learn.

 

Or make a goal to give your house/apartment a deep, deep clean before your fiance arrives. You'll be glad that you still have months to procrastinate that task. (at least that's how it works for me)

[Rayapig 46]

4 hours ago, clamardo said:

All this waiting is just stressing me out. It is like a daily torture. I can't help checking my status everyday and uscis timeline progress, today they are working on January 29, checked at 5AM. Who does that.  Anyone please, I need a trick to help me distance myself from all this mess and put myself in relaxed waiting mode. 

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I actually went through this for quite a while, so I understand. Number one, it is all in God's timing. He is in control, so we need to trust and have faith in that. But secondly, sitting here impatiently waiting does no one any good, especially yourself. You can not change the process or make it go any faster. Its good to have a general idea of how long it is taking but then take a step back from it. Literally you will have to use willpower and strength to get in a better place. I am telling you all this from experience on what I had to do. It is definitely not an easy thing but we are blessed to be able to take charge and be strong through things like this, but it is definitely a choice. You may have to tell yourself "no" quite a few times before it starts to become natural and you don't even think about checking it much anymore. Your life is happening right now and even though you may not be with your significant other, you need to keep living and not forget how precious our life is. Whether its being with friends, volunteering, working hard, just enjoying things you like to do.. you need to keep living each day to the fullest. Even though I'm sure you'd prefer to live it with your love, you can't change that but you can change how you handle things. It will make both you and your significant other even stronger if you can learn to be happy and be strong now until the day comes when they are here. I'm sorry if its a bit cheesy but its the process I have had to go through to be happy and learn to be patient. So thought it might help you as well. 

[Meu Amor 180]

6 hours ago, clamardo said:

All this waiting is just stressing me out. It is like a daily torture. I can't help checking my status everyday and uscis timeline progress, today they are working on January 29, checked at 5AM. Who does that.  Anyone please, I need a trick to help me distance myself from all this mess and put myself in relaxed waiting mode. 

Please find a hobby or try learning the language of your fiance (if different from yours). Try learning a new instrument or take a college course in something you are interested in....only some suggestions. Stressing yourself out will not help the process move any faster, so why not learn something new in the process.

 

**Keep busy!!!

[The_Empyrean 733]

13 minutes ago, Meu Amor said:

Please find a hobby or try learning the language of your fiance (if different from yours). Try learning a new instrument or take a college course in something you are interested in....only some suggestions. Stressing yourself out will not help the process move any faster, so why not learn something new in the process.

 

**Keep busy!!!

will second that! Do something that you never found time to do. I want to start learning how to play drums now.. We should start out marchies '18 band. One guy was playing bass, we need a singer, a lead guitarist, drummer and we're set! hahaha
On the other hand, i find my current "phase" pointless, can't(dont want to) change my current workplace and want to show stable income. Can't buy my own place yet, as she's still not here. I feel like those guys they show on sitcoms, who sit by xBox most of their time, playing guitar, and work. lol. How did my life become this.. (im joking obviously). 
If anyone wants to learn guitar to kill time, i could help out (not a pro myself, but could help to start out). Hopefully approvals will start raining soon enough!

P.

[crono_clone 213]

21 hours ago, Jose&Jeff said:

Hey Marchie friends, I have no updates but just wanted to write something to relieve the anxiety ahah

 

I quited my job and it felt really good but made me think about the future and all the things I will need to adapt. For those thinking "oh, you should have waited until you get the visa" don't worry, I was planning on quitting anyway and I will find a new job if for some extreme bad luck I don't get the visa. I need to give 2 months notice anyway, so I talked with my employer and gave 3 months notice so they have time to fill my position since it will not be easy, especially if they want to pay the same salary they are paying me now for the same job.

 

I was wonder, for us beneficiaries, what is the thing that gives you more anxiety?

For me, besides leaving family and friends behind, it comes down to three main things:

1) driving: I never had a driver's license, even though I'm 30, and I get quite anxious because in the US, especially if you will live in a small town like I will be living, driving is pretty much mandatory to get around. There are a few buses, but they will not allow the same degree of freedom I'm used to here in Portugal. I always got really nervous behind the wheel on my 2 attempts to get a license so I worry how it will be. My fiancé told me that get a license in the US is easier than here (here we need to have both theoretical and pratical classes with certified trainers and go through 2 exams to get a license) but I'm still very nervous about it.

2) language: I think my english skills are quite ok and I don't feel any problem talking with my fiancé, but I know he got used to my way of talking and he also understands a little of portuguese so he knows exactly what I mean. But every time I go there I'm never able to order food in taco bell for example. It seems they don't understand me and I don't understand them. For everyday stuff I think I will be fine, I'm more worried for job finding. In the small town we will live, probably my first job will be in the service industry and I'm so afraid some stupid client will complain about my english... I talked english all day on my job now but I have always the excuse that if they don't understand they can always learn portuguese and try again if they want to do business with us ahah

3) politics: I know this is a very hot topic, but I always lived in what you could call a progressive european social democracy. For me not having at least 22 days of paid vacation, universal health care and education, maternity and paternity paid leave and public transportation seems like a crime. I know what I'm signing for and I can manage that. My issue in this topic is to not be able to discuss this topics with other people without losing my mind. I don't want to be rude and stuff, but it is so hard for me for people not to see that for a society to work there has to be a minimum of a social network. Health insurance is the worse. Most people I know in the US pay so much more than me for insurance (either directly or by their employer) and they still don't have the level of care I can get for free (I pay taxes, but I think they are quite fair and proportional). Last year I broke my leg and in the end after 10 days in the hospital and surgery I paid 10 dollars.

 

This was a long rant, sorry

 

Anyone else has this type of anxieties? It would be nice to hear from people sharing the same experience.

 

I can't wait to start seeing the "I got approved" posts!

Wow, 2 months notice? And I thought a 1-month notice for the Philippines was too long, haha.

 

I'm not the beneficiary but my boyfriend definitely has the same anxieties you do. He's terrified of learning to drive but at least he's willing -- since my younger cousin assured him that I'm a good teacher after she learned from me, haha.

 

He's also scared of his English skills, but we're going to sign him up for free English classes at the local college while we wait for AOS. When I first moved to the US, one way I learned English was by watching movies, TV, and listening to Britney Spears, so now I talk like Cher from the movie Clueless. But hey, at least I now sound like I was born here! 

[crono_clone 213]

1 hour ago, PaulMac said:

will second that! Do something that you never found time to do. I want to start learning how to play drums now.. We should start out marchies '18 band. One guy was playing bass, we need a singer, a lead guitarist, drummer and we're set! hahaha
On the other hand, i find my current "phase" pointless, can't(dont want to) change my current workplace and want to show stable income. Can't buy my own place yet, as she's still not here. I feel like those guys they show on sitcoms, who sit by xBox most of their time, playing guitar, and work. lol. How did my life become this.. (im joking obviously). 
If anyone wants to learn guitar to kill time, i could help out (not a pro myself, but could help to start out). Hopefully approvals will start raining soon enough!

P.

Ooh I can volunteer to be the singer! Hehe 

 

I actually bought a training guitar and a lesson book about 2 years ago, but I never even opened the box haha. Someday I might! But for now I've been keeping busy with volleyball league. 

[Shiran 1,134]

22 hours ago, Jose&Jeff said:

1) driving: 

2) language:

3) politics: I know this is a very hot topic, but I always lived in what you could call a progressive european social democracy. For me not having at least 22 days of paid vacation, universal health care and education, maternity and paternity paid leave and public transportation seems like a crime. I know what I'm signing for and I can manage that. My issue in this topic is to not be able to discuss this topics with other people without losing my mind. I don't want to be rude and stuff, but it is so hard for me for people not to see that for a society to work there has to be a minimum of a social network. Health insurance is the worse. Most people I know in the US pay so much more than me for insurance (either directly or by their employer) and they still don't have the level of care I can get for free (I pay taxes, but I think they are quite fair and proportional). Last year I broke my leg and in the end after 10 days in the hospital and surgery I paid 10 dollars.

 

This is not at all related to visa process, but I can share my experiences as immigrant long time ago. 

1) Driving: Unlike most places in Europe you will be most likely driving automatic, which is somewhat easier, as you won't have to mess around with clutch, and there are only 2 pedals. Unlike Europe there are VERY few traffic signs (Stop is the one you see most often) The rest of the signs have written instructions on them, so it is clear what they mean. Freeway/highway driving is actually easiest despite relatively high speed, as you can basically to stick to one lane, and just worry about remembering your exit. Toughest driving tends to  be in downtown areas with lots of small often way streets with pedestrians etc. It is fine to avoid that altogether until you get more comfortable behind the wheel. Basics just drive the way you are comfortable, don't worry about going too slow, if they need to, they will pass. People VERY rarely use horns here, no constant honking you hear in many European cities. Cities in general are designed around driving, which sucks for pedestrians, but does make driving experiences easier. You will very rarely see people just walking on sidewalks (outside of downtown area)

 

2) Language: Your writing seems fine to me, and you are way ahead of where I was when I moved into the country. It will taka surprisingly short time for your ear to open up to English, and don't be afraid to order yourself when in restaurants, do not take an easy way out having your partner order for you. The wait stuff, and people working in retail tend to be very patient and understanding, I don't think language will be an issue for you at all. At home, watch TV/films, it helps to have subtitles on so you can associate spoken words with how they are spelt easier. If you live in places near Southern border, many will also speak Spanish. I realize Portuguese is different, but in general Spanish in many places in practically 2nd language. 

 

3) Politcs: Basic principle to understand, that on average, Americans are REALLY proud of being hard workers. Taking vacation seems as a weekness. You hear stories about people going back to work like next week after giving child birth. Mos companies have maybe 2 week vacation, until you spent years (decades) working there and then it maybe gets longer. Work/life balance is skewed extremely heavily towards work. The American exceptionalism is real and kicking, that way of life is generally seems responsible for astonishing economic, military, and political success of a country that is < 300 years old. A teenager country really with its teenage problems and hubris. With health insurance many folks see "I can go and see any doctor I like at moments notice, and not wait for weeks for approval" as strong winning factor (in reality it isn't like that at all, but that idea is sold heavily here) In general though medical situation is changing even if slow. Affordable care act is here, and it is not going away despite what current people in power will have you belief. In general, I don't see an issue talking about politics as long as you talking about the topic, and not attacking a person for their point of view. Having said that, at work, it is best to NOT start those discussion. Same goes for religion. Once you are citizen, you can vote, and campaign, which is really the only way political change is made.

 

Sorry for long rant in response to your rant. But I have 6 month wait for our NOA2, so might as well spend some time here.

[Meu Amor 180]

2 hours ago, Shiran said:

 

2) Language: Your writing seems fine to me, and you are way ahead of where I was when I moved into the country. It will taka surprisingly short time for your ear to open up to English, and don't be afraid to order yourself when in restaurants, do not take an easy way out having your partner order for you. The wait stuff, and people working in retail tend to be very patient and understanding, I don't think language will be an issue for you at all. At home, watch TV/films, it helps to have subtitles on so you can associate spoken words with how they are spelt easier. If you live in places near Southern border, many will also speak Spanish. I realize Portuguese is different, but in general Spanish in many places in practically 2nd language. 

 

 

Haha! You are exactly right. The best way to learn is it practice. I'm practicing Portuguese all the time. Music, movies, etc. When I bump into a Brazilian I try to practice (even though I'm always pronouncing things wrong...hahaha). It just takes time. 

[clamardo 8]

 

5 hours ago, Meu Amor said:

Haha! You are exactly right. The best way to learn is it practice. I'm practicing Portuguese all the time. Music, movies, etc. When I bump into a Brazilian I try to practice (even though I'm always pronouncing things wrong...hahaha). It just takes time. 

Thanks guy for all your responses and suggestion . I think I will go for improving my Portuguese. Next time I go back to Brazil I think I will speak like one of them .lol.  what materials are you using for your Brasil português?

[Meu Amor 180]

3 minutes ago, clamardo said:

 

Thanks guy for all your responses and suggestion . I think I will go for improving my Portuguese. Next time I go back to Brazil I think I will speak like one of them .lol.  what materials are you using for your Brasil português?

I use duolingo, Wilngua apps on my phone. I also listen to Portuguese Podclass, and A LOT of music. I took some lessons in Verbling. Soon I will get a private teacher (which should cover about 35 hours. The lessons will be intense, but I think it's a must to become fluent. I have not tried Rosetta Stone. But that's another resource. It's a difficult but a beautiful language. I say go for it. Brazil is pretty cool!! Muito Bom!! 🤙🏽 🇧🇷

[pontof 35]

Rosetta Stone is helping my fiancé A LOT with his Portuguese! He has been communicating way better with my friends and family. 

I bought him a book on Amazon called “The Everything Learning Brazilian Portuguese Book” by Fernanda Ferreira. Besides being a great to improve vocabulary, it also covers a little bit of grammar and common verbs.

[<3T&M<3 217]

Just think, in about 2 weeks our thread will start hoppin'!!!!   

[crono_clone 213]

56 minutes ago, <3T&M<3 said:

Just think, in about 2 weeks our thread will start hoppin'!!!!   

Yup, I can't wait!

 

Also, I just want to remind everyone here to sign up for Informed Delivery at USPS. Judging by the talk in the other monthly threads, it seems like USCIS is still doing a looooooot of silent approvals, with no notifications on the websites or text or e-mail at all. So make sure to watch your mail so that you don't pass out from the anxiety while we all wait!

[Alan&Alex 173]

3 hours ago, crono_clone said:

Yup, I can't wait!

 

Also, I just want to remind everyone here to sign up for Informed Delivery at USPS. Judging by the talk in the other monthly threads, it seems like USCIS is still doing a looooooot of silent approvals, with no notifications on the websites or text or e-mail at all. So make sure to watch your mail so that you don't pass out from the anxiety while we all wait!

Well that's not cool! Yet another thing to obsess over. Haha. 

[crono_clone 213]

16 minutes ago, Alan&Alex said:

Well that's not cool! Yet another thing to obsess over. Haha. 

Haha sorry! But hey, at least it's useful to know what mail might be coming your way! Gives me a head start on throwing away all the junk mail.