Pre-Cana Seminar in the USA (SF)

[snowcat 58]

My husband and I are planning a Church wedding with family and friends in the Philippines next year (we have already been married in SF city hall since last year for my legal requirements). 

 

One of the requirements for a church wedding is a pre-cana seminar, which we were told we could do in the USA... I was just wondering if any of you had any advice for us on where to go for that, particularly in SF? I found this: https://www.oldsaintmarys.org/saturday-for-the-engaged which one of the Catholic Churches in SF do... I just wanted to double-check if this counts as a pre-cana seminar?

Edited February 24, 2018 by snowcat

[Greenbaum 12,259]

I am not familiar with pre-cana seminar but are you not just doing a "wedding renewing vows" ceremony as you are already married? I am curious about what it is that you will achieve through this ceremony as I am interested for my wife as she has indicated that she to would like to do something more formal. I know Hank just did this last year. I believe he will chime in and share his experience.

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

8 hours ago, snowcat said:

My husband and I are planning a Church wedding with family and friends in the Philippines next year (we have already been married in SF city hall since last year for my legal requirements). 

 

One of the requirements for a church wedding is a pre-cana seminar, which we were told we could do in the USA... I was just wondering if any of you had any advice for us on where to go for that, particularly in SF? I found this: https://www.oldsaintmarys.org/saturday-for-the-engaged which one of the Catholic Churches in SF do... I just wanted to double-check if this counts as a pre-cana seminar?

If you are renewing your vows then I will ask another member to chime in who did the same thing a couple months ago

[Hank_ 9,174]

9 hours ago, snowcat said:

My husband and I are planning a Church wedding with family and friends in the Philippines next year (we have already been married in SF city hall since last year for my legal requirements). 

 

One of the requirements for a church wedding is a pre-cana seminar, which we were told we could do in the USA... I was just wondering if any of you had any advice for us on where to go for that, particularly in SF? I found this: https://www.oldsaintmarys.org/saturday-for-the-engaged which one of the Catholic Churches in SF do... I just wanted to double-check if this counts as a pre-cana seminar?

You're already married.  You can do a renewal of vows but that is it.

 

I suggest you check with the church in the Philippines to what they require or will if they will even do a renewal of vows.   Some churches are funny on this

[snowcat 58]

From what I understand, we are not married yet in the eyes of the Catholic Church (which apparently is a different thing from being legally married), and so have to do this ceremony as if we aren't married? It's a bit confusing as the Church tends to complicate things way more than they should!

 

I'm really just doing it out of respect for my parents, since they are heavily religious, and would be crushed if their daughter did not get married in a church, under the eyes of God. I would personally rather not go through it, since the requirements are pretty lengthy (and unnecessary in my opinion!), but alas, I don't want to cause any feelings of resentment in my family - whom I'm very close to, despite our disagreements with religion...

[Hank_ 9,174]

9 hours ago, snowcat said:

From what I understand, we are not married yet in the eyes of the Catholic Church (which apparently is a different thing from being legally married), and so have to do this ceremony as if we aren't married? It's a bit confusing as the Church tends to complicate things way more than they should!

 

I'm really just doing it out of respect for my parents, since they are heavily religious, and would be crushed if their daughter did not get married in a church, under the eyes of God. I would personally rather not go through it, since the requirements are pretty lengthy (and unnecessary in my opinion!), but alas, I don't want to cause any feelings of resentment in my family - whom I'm very close to, despite our disagreements with religion...

You can NOT complete an actual wedding (with marriage license ETC) as you are already married.   A church is not the government, in the eyes of the government you ARE married.   Some churches can be very difficult on this topic of renewing vows within the church if the actual wedding was not initially completed within the church.  You need to contact the church in the Philippines where you want to complete the renewal of vows to inquire if they will do this.

[snowcat 58]

On 2/25/2018 at 5:39 AM, Hank_ said:

You can NOT complete an actual wedding (with marriage license ETC) as you are already married.   A church is not the government, in the eyes of the government you ARE married.   Some churches can be very difficult on this topic of renewing vows within the church if the actual wedding was not initially completed within the church.  You need to contact the church in the Philippines where you want to complete the renewal of vows to inquire if they will do this.

Yep I totally understand your point in the legal sense, but apparently, in the eyes of the Church, since we didn't complete the "sacrament of matrimony" yet or whatever we're not considered married in the Catholic Church. It's super confusing, believe me, but apparently the church has different rules from the government and all that. Yes, we are married legally, and so we will give the church our marriage certificate instead of a CENOMAR (and won't have to get a marriage license, etc etc), but aside from that, we go through the rest of the requirements as though we are not married. And the requirements are loooooong! We apparently have to do like 2 interviews from different priests and a confession aside from the day-long seminar about marriage and what to expect - I mean we are ALREADY married I think we already know what married life is like by now? But no, we cannot skip all that despite it being logically unnecessary. T____T

 

Anyway, if anyone else in this forum has gone through this process and done a Pre-Cana seminar thing abroad, please let me know~~~

[Hank_ 9,174]

Just now, snowcat said:

Yep I totally understand your point in the legal sense, but apparently, in the eyes of the Church, since we didn't complete the "sacrament of matrimony" yet or whatever we're not considered married in the Catholic Church. It's super confusing, believe me, but apparently the church has different rules from the government and all that. Yes, we are married legally, and so we will give the church our marriage certificate instead of a CENOMAR (and won't have to get a marriage license, etc etc), but aside from that, we go through the rest of the requirements as though we are not married. And the requirements are loooooong! We apparently have to do like 2 interviews from different priests and a confession aside from the day-long seminar about marriage and what to expect - I mean we are ALREADY married I think we already know what married life is like by now? But no, we cannot skip all that despite it being logically unnecessary. T____T

 

Anyway, if anyone else in this forum has gone through this process and done a Pre-Cana seminar thing abroad, please let me know~~~

And I still suggest .. you contact the church in the Philippines where you would like the "ceremony" performed, explain what you are trying to accomplish and ask what the requirements are, if any.   I suggest this because some churches refuse to complete the ceremony being you are already married outside the church... this from past experience of others.   

 

 

 

 

[snowcat 58]

2 minutes ago, Hank_ said:

And I still suggest .. you contact the church in the Philippines where you would like the "ceremony" performed, explain what you are trying to accomplish and ask what the requirements are, if any.   I suggest this because some churches refuse to complete the ceremony being you are already married outside the church... this from past experience of others.   

 

 

 

 

Oh, I have contacted them (visited the church ourselves, actually, and spoke to someone in the office) and all that I have said is from what they told me. I have a list of their requirements, too, if anyone on the forum wants it

 

I just started this thread because I was told by the church to do the Pre-Cana seminar in the US but they don't really have any specific leads on where to go. That's why I wanted to ask people on this forum who have done it to see where I can do it, too, as it seems to be called differently here in the USA...

Edited February 27, 2018 by snowcat

[Hank_ 9,174]

2 minutes ago, snowcat said:

Oh, I have contacted them (visited the church ourselves, actually, and spoke to someone in the office) and all that I have said is from what they told me. I have a list of their requirements, too, if anyone on the forum wants it

 

I just started this thread because I was told by the church to do the Pre-Cana seminar in the US but they don't really have any specific leads on where to go. That's why I wanted to ask people on this forum who have done it to see where I can do it, too, as it seems to be called differently here in the USA...

That is good to know.  Glad the church doesn't have issue, I know a few couples that were refused.  

 

I would take your question to the your church there where you live, should have your answer in short order.