I'm thinking about divorcing my wife. Need Advice

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

5 minutes ago, Unidentified said:

Well I meant signs when I am talking lol. But nice to know there's still some sign I am a foreigner Sucks to know I spell like ####### in both Swedish and English now  

 

Well you live in Minnesota where all the Scandinavians and I guess Polish people decided to settle down I would like to live there. I've heard that they pretty much have a Swedish village somewhere there. Would be awesome! 

 

Yeah, it is an error that English speakers almost never make and one of the few errors that Scandinavians make with high frequency.   I think, at least in Danish, it has more to do with that they are both the same word when translated.

 

This morning was again 4°F, you sure?  Lol.  It is a little freaky at times.  Just going the less than a mile to the supermarket...several Dala horses outside people's houses (and in our local school).   I think they are far removed from the culture now, though.   Sweden circa 1890ish, maybe?   I love it, my husband loves it, but it isn't for everyone, otherwise people would be flocking here for the cheap houses and super low unemployment.  

 

 

[Unidentified 2,930]

1 minute ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

Yeah, it is an error that English speakers almost never make and one of the few errors that Scandinavians make with high frequency.   I think, at least in Danish, it has more to do with that they are both the same word when translated.

 

This morning was again 4°F, you sure?  Lol.  It is a little freaky at times.  Just going the less than a mile to the supermarket...several Dala horses outside people's houses (and in our local school).   I think they are far removed from the culture now, though.   Sweden circa 1890ish, maybe?   I love it, my husband loves it, but it isn't for everyone, otherwise people would be flocking here for the cheap houses and super low unemployment.  

 

 

If it's 4F and snow yes! Absolutely! I don't like Virginia. We can have cold but no snow and it's just depressing. If it wasn't for the fact my husband technically works for the government I would definitively consider moving there. 

[payxibka 10,047]

56 minutes ago, Unidentified said:

Well I meant signs when I am talking lol. But nice to know there's still some sign I am a foreigner Sucks to know I spell like ####### in both Swedish and English now  

 

Well you live in Minnesota where all the Scandinavians and I guess Polish people decided to settle down I would like to live there. I've heard that they pretty much have a Swedish village somewhere there. Would be awesome! 

I live in MN.  Are you sure?

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

4 minutes ago, Unidentified said:

If it's 4F and snow yes! Absolutely! I don't like Virginia. We can have cold but no snow and it's just depressing. If it wasn't for the fact my husband technically works for the government I would definitively consider moving there. 

 

My car actually had fresh snow on it this morning and we still have 1-2 feet outside built up.    

 

3 minutes ago, payxibka said:

I live in MN.  Are you sure?

 

Southern MN doesn't count.  It is like northern Iowa or something.

[payxibka 10,047]

19 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

My car actually had fresh snow on it this morning and we still have 1-2 feet outside built up.    

 

 

Southern MN doesn't count.  It is like northern Iowa or something.

Northern MN is like Canada... ay...

[NikLR 13,230]

1 hour ago, payxibka said:

Northern MN is like Canada... ay...

It's like Manitoba... Certainly not like where I grew up or spent 10 years living.  But I am happy not to spend months at -40° plus windchill.  Alberta sucks eh ..  lol. I'd move back to BC in a heartbeat if guaranteed good jobs. 

Edited April 7, 2018 by NikLR

[David & Diana R 1,005]

2 minutes ago, NikLR said:

It's like Manitoba... Certainly not like where I grew up or spent 10 years living.  But I am happy not to spend months at -40° plus windchill.  Alberta sucks eh ..  lol. I'd move back to BC in a heartbeat if guaranteed good jobs. 

haha ya'll speak Canadian,  ay?

[David & Diana R 1,005]

We live on Maui.  The mercury plummeted to 68 last night and we were freezing... just say'in.  hahaha

[TBoneTX 45,663]

Folks, great conversation, but let's not hijack the thread, please.

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

On ‎4‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 6:17 PM, Unidentified said:

Why does a woman have to change their last name? A lot of women now does not take their husbands last name for different reasons. I took my husbands last name because I am old school but I still miss it sometimes. I don't have an accent when I speak and my last name was my last sign of being a foreigner. But there's a lot of women, especially career oriented women who does not change their last name. And the whole "a woman has to take her husbands name" is pretty outdated. 

 

Could be a lot of reason why she doesn't want to have sex with you. Maybe you're not showing her enough attention, when is the last time you guys went out on a date? It could also be that she can't have sex because it hurts. A lot of women suffer in silence because it hurts when they have sex and they, for some reason, doesn't bring this up with their gynecologist. 

 

Yes, there are red flags in your relationship, but have you talked to her about all this? Try counseling and if you still feel like you want to divorce her, go for it. 

I do not think a woman has to change her name, to do so is a choice, in your case you chose to do so because you are old-schooled in your expectations, I agree with that approach. But I think that following traditions are absolute, I won't change my last name because I am chattel to my husband Implies you will also not accept an engagement ring because you won't be bought or bound into captivity (choose your tradition origin story). I am all for feminism, self choice, individualism but in both directions forsake the good with the bad. Sorry to spout off, second time I heard this today,

 

To the OP you realize there are things not acceptable to you in your marriage, if you are unlikely to suddenly accept them as your norm, move on

[L1f30fC0d3 1]

If she isn't displaying any level of affection and hides the fact she is married then one of two things....she is cheating or she really doesn't truly love you. Plus she lied to you about the last name issue. please my friend be strong and leave this women. Tell her you dont feel the love you both shared back home in Ethiopia and feel you two should separate and you will help her find her own apartment. Bring up the fact that she doesnt wear her ring, she denies the connection on facebook, she doesnt show ANY level of true affection towards you and lied about taking your last name. For all you did for this young lady she should at least be honest and show a little bit of respect.

[TBoneTX 45,663]

The OP hasn't logged on to VJ since March 16.  Perhaps we should reserve further comment until he returns.

[TBoneTX 45,663]

A too-long-after-the-fact comment has been removed.  Let's let this thread lie until the OP should return.

Edited June 12, 2018 by TBoneTX