US husband wants to leave me a month before removal of conditions

[Marrienne 112]

Hello,

 

My husband  (US citizen) and I met in Europe. We have been together 6 years and have a daughter together. He wouldn't get a job over in Greece so I supported us. Then when things got so bad we couldn't afford food, with the help of his father, we came over on a CR-1 visa.

 

He worked for 6 months here in the US and then quit. He also found another woman because I had to take up two jobs totalling 90 hrs a week to support us, and he "was lonely". 

 

I need to file for removal of conditions in one month and today he asked me for my tax return money so he can leave me!!!

 

I haven't done anything these past 6 years but to support him. I have been a good wife and mother and a hard worker.

I sold everything in my country to get us here. I have NOTHING there and there are no jobs. I can't go back.

 

What is there to protect me and my children from losing everything we have built here in the last two years? We cannot be at the mercy of a lying, lazy, cheating man just because he is a US citizen and we are not. 

 

I loved him so much, I have given him everything. I fed and clothed him and kept a roof over his head for 6 years while he gamed online non stop.

Oh and his family forgot one little detail: he is mentally unstable. He has a diagnosis of bipolar and BPD and was in mental institutions as a teen/young adult.

 

Please help. I do not want to leave the US. 

[Lemonslice 4,834]

Get your ROC ready, then file for divorce.  

 

Look up women shelters in your area and see if they can recommend a legal clinic to assist you.  Protect yourself and your children.

 

Very sad story.  I remember some posters trying to hint that your husband behaviour seemed off... hindsight is 20/20 I guess

[NikLR 13,227]

I remember your story to get here.  You can ROC with a divorce waiver.  He cant make you leave.  You'll be okay.  I suggest you file for divorce though.  It gives you leverage to be the one filing. 

[Marrienne 112]

So if I file now, a month before I am supposed to do ROC, won't that be suspicious?

[Lemonslice 4,834]

8 hours ago, Marrienne said:

So if I file now, a month before I am supposed to do ROC, won't that be suspicious?

What's the alternative?  People divorce when they have to. Plus, your husband is leaving. There's a way to file when divorced, not as easy when "only" separated...  Do your best to file for ROC on time, filling late will complicate your situation. 

[cyclone27 710]

What a piece of work. He wants your tax refund so he can leave you? 

 

Loser with a capital L. What does his parents say?

[EmilyW 1,434]

From memory, his parents were enablers.

 

Marienne, I am so sorry to hear about this.  You worked so hard to get here and, if I remember correctly, you did all the leg work to make it happen.

 

I wish you luck, dear.  You deserve so much better.

[NikLR 13,227]

16 hours ago, Marrienne said:

So if I file now, a month before I am supposed to do ROC, won't that be suspicious?

It would be easier and faster.  Youve had a long relationship,  you likely have more evidence of a co-mingled life than most.  I think you'll be okay.   

[Boiler 45,462]

I also took part in the initial threads, he was and apparently still is a mega loser.

[JFH 12,190]

I am so sorry to read this post. I remember you from the February 2016 I-130 filers group. We filed at the same time. I remember the waiting and the excitement as we got ready to move here. I am aware that life was a struggle for you in Europe and you were barely surviving. With a divorce waiver you can stay. Do you have the means to support yourself and the children? I seem to recall two of the children are USCs so they should be able to get some form of welfare assistance. 

[Ijndchyke 66]

Dear,

 

I'd hate to say this to you but you need to think of your status and what you'd risk if you went back including your daughter. There's a form he has to sign to remove the conditions, I'd suggest either figuring out  a way to make him sign it or tell him you'll give him your income tax if he signs it. Do not lose your status because of money. You could always leave him after you get your 10 years and go live on your own and take care of your daughter but you are too close to give up. This happens a lot with marriages like this when the US Citizen feels that you need them so they'd try to sabotage things for you at the last minute so they can feel in control. I am a U.S. Citizen and I know what people like you go through. If he ever becomes abusive you can report it to VAWA. They can help.

[Ijndchyke 66]

17 hours ago, Marrienne said:

So if I file now, a month before I am supposed to do ROC, won't that be suspicious?

You can actually file a month in advance. I believe its 30 days prior. Check online but I believe so. The early the better. 

[Ijndchyke 66]

A conditional permanent resident receives a green card valid for 2 years. In order to remain a permanent resident, a conditional permanent resident must file a petition to remove the condition during the 90 days before the card expires. The conditional card cannot be renewed. The conditions must be removed or you will lose your permanent resident status.

 

 

This is what I saw on their website. you can apply to get the condition removed 90 days prior to the date your green card expires.

[MiraW 58]

I don't know the whole story and already think the guy is a loser.

File for divorce and then ROC.

Good luck to you!

Edited February 16, 2018 by MiraW

[Ijndchyke 66]

8 minutes ago, MiraW said:

I don't know the whole story and already think the guy is a loser.

File for divorce and then ROC.

Good luck to you!

I think she means they’ve been together for 6 years not necessarily that they’ve Been married for 6 years. I believe at the time you get your first green card is when the timer for the 3 years starts. Because if you’ve had your green card for 3 years and Is still married to the U.S. Citizen, you can actually file for citizenship