Need help. Can I get Greencard based on VAWA if I already applied for regular?

[betelgeuse 5]

I wanted to answer to Balamban's post that was deleted. That they need conversations, not just text saying "I'm deranged sociopath"  so I'll give an example.

 

I knew about his porn addiction and that he went to strip clubs when he was away on business trips.

So when he was on business trip again I send a text saying "I hope you will at least respect me enough to not cheat on me" and then he answered that he wasn't going to because he is a deranged sociopath and then started blaming me and saying that I am more likely to do that.

Don't know what made him think so, he was the second person I ever dated and he knew about that. But he was jealous all the time.

 

As for cat and that they can defend themselves. I don't know, she seems to like him. Every time I hear he scream and he lets her go, she runs upstairs to my room and hides there for a while,  but next day will run to him like nothing happened. So I'm not sure what's going on there. But when she screams, I can hear her on the second floor, with my door closed and TV on. Honestly, my heart sinks when I hear it.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I read all of the posts, and then I try to put myself in the shoes of the O.P.

 

First and foremost, I would not let my cat endure what the O.P. described. If my husband were to torture my cat, I'd intervene immediately, without hesitation. If he then lies his hands on me, I'd immediately call the cops and press charges against him. THEN I'd have a viable case for VAWA, not earlier.

 

I also have a problem with the "my parents paid for everything." Why? Why would I want to marry a guy who pulls such a stunt on me and my parents?

 

I don't want to give advice to the O.P. But if it were me, I'd grab my cat and go home.

End of story.

 

 

[betelgeuse 5]

I know it's easy to say "I'd do this, I'd go home" but trust me, it's not that simple.

 

On 2/15/2018 at 9:26 PM, Brother Hesekiel said:

I also have a problem with the "my parents paid for everything." Why? Why would I want to marry a guy who pulls such a stunt on me and my parents?

 

 

 

Well, we were married already. I didn't want to give up on marriage that easily, and I thought once I had my own life, job and don't depend as much on him anymore - things would change. I loved him, you know.

 

 

For those curious about what is going on now, I did my research and know where I can go now, I have found shelters and such in my area. We had to move to another apartment next month, so it's a good excuse for me to pack all my things.

Then my friend will take me and cat to shelter (I'll have to give her back to shelter where I took her as I won't be able to take proper care of her, but I will ask them to make sure he doesn't take her or other pet back).

As of now, we (me and the cat) are just sitting quietly in my room.  

It was our anniversary yesterday, so for that and Valentine's Day, my husband sent me a message saying that his present to me is that he will try to not hate me that much today and even suggested we go to gym. 

 

Lucky girl I am.

 

Edited February 17, 2018 by betelgeuse

[betelgeuse 5]

Do you think he can get in big trouble because I worked illegally instead of him? First  I offered my help myself, but then he got used to it and started forcing me to work even when I couldn't (had plans, was sick etc) - he'd start threatening that he will kick me out or call ICE and deport me. Should I mention this when I go to shelter?

Like I said, I don't wish him bad, I just want all of this to stop

 

P.S. Went to DV counseling today but they told me I needed to make an appointment.. so have to come back on Monday

[Villanelle 4,122]

You should disclose everything at the shelter and on your paperwork to USCIS. 

 

I know its hard and you are worried about him getting in trouble (he wont for the work issue). But you have to stop worrying about HIM. Again I know its hard right now but after some counseling (which you can get at the shelter) you will start to see things more clearly.  

[betelgeuse 5]

I know that my main concern now should be me.

I understand that he wasn't treating me right.

But I can't just start hating him all of a sudden. I loved him. Unfortunately, there is no an on/off button. I think I just need time to move on.

 

Also, I asked about the work issue because from what I have read, forcing to work someone illegally is a felony. Even if he would beat me up that would be a demeanor.

But if I don't press charges, he'll get away with that. 

 

[Villanelle 4,122]

I totally understand. And yes, its going to take time.

 

You are correct about 'him getting away with it' unless charges are pressed. But USCIS is not in the business of pursuing these kind of things. You can freely tell your story to them (and to the shelter) and they dont report what you say to the authorities. You would have to pursue them on your own if you wanted to- and you clearly dont. (which is fine you dont have to pursue charges). 

[betelgeuse 5]

So, yesterday I had a consultation with the family counselor, she gave me contacts of shelters and lawyers who can help.

They told me that I should call shelter same day I'm leaving and they will find me a place, they will also take my cat to foster care - that is so awesome. The amount of support people can get is amazing. Even just being able to talk to the counselor for free and being able to sit there as much as I need and vent and cry is priceless. They signed me up for DV counseling too. Also, I'm meeting with the attorney tomorrow and they will tell me if they will help me with my case.