Behaviors, manners and overall attitude

[DeadPoolX 9]

I'd like to preface this thread by saying that neither American nor Canadian ways of doing things are right or wrong; they're just different. I am not suggesting that one country's way is better than the other.

Anyway... have any of you noticed a difference in the overall attitudes, manners and behavior in Americans versus Canadians? I mean in general. Obviously, there are nice and rude Americans and Canadians. However, the stereotype is that Americans are somewhat "loud and pushy" and that Canadians are "so polite they'll apologize to furniture after bumping into it." I've known some who fit these stereotypes and I've known some who've been the exact opposite.

But what I'd like to hear are your experiences. I think it might be interesting to note.

Since I made this thread, I'll go first and use my fiancee and me as an example: The first time I visited her (she was my girlfriend then), we went to CapitalEx and I bought her a lemonade. Actually... come to think of it, I paid for everything on that trip. Sorry, I'm losing my place! What I was saying is that I bought her a lemonade and then I was just a bit thirsty and said to her, "I think I'll have a sip" and did so. She didn't mind and gladly handed over the drink to me.

However, she later told me that she thought it was just a little rude. I had no idea what she meant. She explained it to me. She said that I told her I was going to have a sip and invited myself to do it, as opposed to asking if I could. I never considered asking because, for the most part, in the United States, you just say what you're going to do and then do it if you're with friends or loved ones. Within my family, for instance, we never asked each other for a sip of another's drink, we just took it. Maybe that seems rude on the surface, but there was an unspoken acceptance that "what is yours is mine" and vice-versa.

As I said, my fiancee didn't have a real problem with it, she was just surprised and told me so. Because of that -- and a few other things I've said, apparently -- I've been working on being more polite. For instance, within my family, we hardly ever say "please" or "thank you." I've rarely heard it in other American families as well. But my fiancee has been, well... training me to get into that habit.

Overall, my fiancee's said, I am not a rude or insensitive person; if I were, she said she'd have great difficulty being with me. I think, for the most part, these little differences are just part of what makes America and Canada different socially and culturally.

So that's just one of my experiences. Let's hear yours!

[homesick_american 1]

We American females, for all of our friendliness, tend to be somewhat passive aggressive; this is a trait I've noticed amongst the British as well.

For example...if something pisses us off, we feel like it's impolite to say something about it because we don't want to make a scene or be rude. We let it stew, then we bring it up at inconvenient or embarrassing times or we torture someone forever because of the perceived slight, but never tell them WHY. I don't believe for one second that Canadians don't do this too. I notice this sort of behavior much more among women than men, though some men are so passive aggressive that it just makes me want to puke. This is probably why most of my friends are men. Friendships with men are usually pretty shallow, but I just can't deal with most women. I can't play the mind games that they play with their men and with each other because I can't fathom the rules, so I just don't bother with it.

[warlord 72]

My wife hates it when I take or steal a sip or some of her food without asking. Yet, she has no problem stealing mine. She's the American one (well we both are now). She always says, if you want a sip then just ask me. As I see her hand later one grabbing one of my chicken wings when she thinks I'm not looking...

[Emancipation 2]

We are moving this weekend and we went to the local grocery store to grab some boxes - Hubby (USC) just marches through the swinging doors at the back that CLEARLY state "EMPLOYEES ONLY".. I would have been HORRIFIED to do that, but he had no qualms and marched through them and returned few moments later with boxes. *sigh.. he's the bold one I would say

I find he's become more "polite" in the sense that I think of it (saying please and thank you).. probably just being around me hee hee.. I'm corrupting him with my manners!

Is this cultural? I dunno if we can really prove that can we?

Edited April 30, 2007 by Emancipation

[vnoe 0]

Personally, I don't think it matters where you came from geographically.....it is how you were raised. Manners or no manners.

....or maybe your birth sign.....

who knows

jmo

[Allie 5]

A couple things I have noticed different. Where I come from in Canada it's proper to hold a door open for the person coming behind you and to also hold the door and let ladies enter first. I have noticed on many occasions here in the US some people don't care whether anybody is coming behind they just enter and let the doors go

Also have noticed on occasion where men don't hold the door for women and let em enter or exit ahead of them

Several times I've seen people struggling to get something into thier vehicle and people just walk by looking at them. I have helped people several times and they seem amazed to have somebody do that. In Canada it's no big deal

In the US I find the people working the cashier stands are far more friendly and talkative than home. Also here they cater more to the customers in the stores. Most times if you ask where something is they'll take you to it not tell you a route how to find it and they always ask if you found everything you were looking for.

[CutienPurg 0]

A couple things I have noticed different. Where I come from in Canada it's proper to hold a door open for the person coming behind you and to also hold the door and let ladies enter first. I have noticed on many occasions here in the US some people don't care whether anybody is coming behind they just enter and let the doors go

Also have noticed on occasion where men don't hold the door for women and let em enter or exit ahead of them

Several times I've seen people struggling to get something into thier vehicle and people just walk by looking at them. I have helped people several times and they seem amazed to have somebody do that. In Canada it's no big deal

In the US I find the people working the cashier stands are far more friendly and talkative than home. Also here they cater more to the customers in the stores. Most times if you ask where something is they'll take you to it not tell you a route how to find it and they always ask if you found everything you were looking for.

well you must not be from Barrie , Allie!!! I have have never seen anything so ignorant in my life as the way people were there at Christmas time. ......strollers over the toes at the mall , people rushing to beat you to a door or a line........it was awful. After dealing with the ignorance there I was pretty well cocked and loaded for anything on the drive back to Michigan........we stopped for dinner just outside Sarnia and as I exited the building behind a man and his wife , he let the door close in my face. I had enough so I loudly said "THANK YOU". He turned around and said " oh my god Im sorry , I didnt see you there........I certainly wouldnt have let the door the door close on you on purpose". I felt a bit bad(for about a second) for snapping at him so I smiled and said " Okay" THEN he turns back and says "AND ITS NOT LIKE I HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD"..........I just laughed at him then.

[DeadPoolX 9]

A couple things I have noticed different. Where I come from in Canada it's proper to hold a door open for the person coming behind you and to also hold the door and let ladies enter first. I have noticed on many occasions here in the US some people don't care whether anybody is coming behind they just enter and let the doors go

Also have noticed on occasion where men don't hold the door for women and let em enter or exit ahead of them

Several times I've seen people struggling to get something into thier vehicle and people just walk by looking at them. I have helped people several times and they seem amazed to have somebody do that. In Canada it's no big deal

In the US I find the people working the cashier stands are far more friendly and talkative than home. Also here they cater more to the customers in the stores. Most times if you ask where something is they'll take you to it not tell you a route how to find it and they always ask if you found everything you were looking for.

I almost always hold the door open for women, but I've noticed on more than one occasion the woman in question will get annoyed. My fiancee, for instance, thinks it's silly for a man to hold a door open for a woman. She figures women are capable of doing it themselves. I still think it's a nice gesture, however, and will hold the door open for her as often as possible, but it's a challenge.

As for someone struggling to get something into their car, I've offered to help in the past, but most people refuse the help and some almost act as if they're insulted by the offer. I suppose they take it as a suggestion that they can't do it without assistance. So I no longer offer to help.

[Jenn! 918]

When waiting for the elevator in the lobby at work, usually the men wait for the women to get on first, but there's usually that one clueless guy who doesn't seem to notice that the other men are being polite, and he just barges ahead of everyone. #######? Get a clue, buddy!

[Melyssa 0]

I'd like to preface this thread by saying that neither American nor Canadian ways of doing things are right or wrong; they're just different. I am not suggesting that one country's way is better than the other.

Anyway... have any of you noticed a difference in the overall attitudes, manners and behavior in Americans versus Canadians? I mean in general. Obviously, there are nice and rude Americans and Canadians. However, the stereotype is that Americans are somewhat "loud and pushy" and that Canadians are "so polite they'll apologize to furniture after bumping into it." I've known some who fit these stereotypes and I've known some who've been the exact opposite.

But what I'd like to hear are your experiences. I think it might be interesting to note.

Since I made this thread, I'll go first and use my fiancee and me as an example: The first time I visited her (she was my girlfriend then), we went to CapitalEx and I bought her a lemonade. Actually... come to think of it, I paid for everything on that trip. Sorry, I'm losing my place! What I was saying is that I bought her a lemonade and then I was just a bit thirsty and said to her, "I think I'll have a sip" and did so. She didn't mind and gladly handed over the drink to me.

However, she later told me that she thought it was just a little rude. I had no idea what she meant. She explained it to me. She said that I told her I was going to have a sip and invited myself to do it, as opposed to asking if I could. I never considered asking because, for the most part, in the United States, you just say what you're going to do and then do it if you're with friends or loved ones. Within my family, for instance, we never asked each other for a sip of another's drink, we just took it. Maybe that seems rude on the surface, but there was an unspoken acceptance that "what is yours is mine" and vice-versa.

As I said, my fiancee didn't have a real problem with it, she was just surprised and told me so. Because of that -- and a few other things I've said, apparently -- I've been working on being more polite. For instance, within my family, we hardly ever say "please" or "thank you." I've rarely heard it in other American families as well. But my fiancee has been, well... training me to get into that habit.

Overall, my fiancee's said, I am not a rude or insensitive person; if I were, she said she'd have great difficulty being with me. I think, for the most part, these little differences are just part of what makes America and Canada different socially and culturally.

So that's just one of my experiences. Let's hear yours!

Wow. Honestly, I have never met an American who would just take a sip out of my glass without asking! And I have been in the U.S. a LOT, and am friends with several Americans! Maybe it was just the way you grew up, and not Americans in general, lol.

[Melyssa 0]

Also, it's hard to generalize American and Canadian ways as a whole because it goes further than that... attitudes, just like accents, probably vary from state to state and province to province! ;-)

OH, now that I think of it, ONCE, it did happen to me that an American stole a couple of French fries out of my meal. I think he thought I wasn't looking or something. And yes, I did find that rather rude! I didn't get upset about it, but still...

Edited April 30, 2007 by melytha

[Autumnchik 6]

My husband is the Canadian. He does really embody the "uber polite Canadian" stereotype. He is a carpenter and, in Canada, worked on construction sites with a bunch of rough and tumble guys. He told me they always joked about how polite he was on the site ... "PLEASE pass me the 2x4", etc. and how he almost never swore. Unfortunately, I am the one with the potty mouth (am trying to clean up my act now!!!).

I would say that we are both polite though ... both ask permission to taste each other's food, open doors for each other and others .... but the biggest difference I have noticed regarding manners is taking off shoes as you enter a house.

He does it, I never used to (until I met him). That was something that I never learned growing up. We had our formal wedding last weekend and his family all came over my mother's house. After they left, she commented on how she thought they all really liked to be barefoot (they took their shoes off at the door) and I had to explain that it was respectful on their part!!!

[DeadPoolX 9]

Also, it's hard to generalize American and Canadian ways as a whole because it goes further than that... attitudes, just like accents, probably vary from state to state and province to province! ;-)

OH, now that I think of it, ONCE, it did happen to me that an American stole a couple of French fries out of my meal. I think he thought I wasn't looking or something. And yes, I did find that rather rude! I didn't get upset about it, but still...

To be fair though, my fiancee would steal my french fries too.

So, yeah, it probably does boil down to individuals and maybe states/provinces as opposed to the U.S. and Canada as a whole. Still, I was speaking in more general terms.

[Emancipation 2]

That shoe taking off thing.. that I can't understand.. why DON"T people take off shoes when they enter a house? Holy.. Hubby NEVER did before he met me... I had to tell him that wearing his shoes at my mom's house was a BIG Faux Pas and could effect eternally his position in our family! lol.. not that bad.. but almost!

[Allie 5]

A couple things I have noticed different. Where I come from in Canada it's proper to hold a door open for the person coming behind you and to also hold the door and let ladies enter first. I have noticed on many occasions here in the US some people don't care whether anybody is coming behind they just enter and let the doors go

Also have noticed on occasion where men don't hold the door for women and let em enter or exit ahead of them

Several times I've seen people struggling to get something into thier vehicle and people just walk by looking at them. I have helped people several times and they seem amazed to have somebody do that. In Canada it's no big deal

In the US I find the people working the cashier stands are far more friendly and talkative than home. Also here they cater more to the customers in the stores. Most times if you ask where something is they'll take you to it not tell you a route how to find it and they always ask if you found everything you were looking for.

I almost always hold the door open for women, but I've noticed on more than one occasion the woman in question will get annoyed. My fiancee, for instance, thinks it's silly for a man to hold a door open for a woman. She figures women are capable of doing it themselves. I still think it's a nice gesture, however, and will hold the door open for her as often as possible, but it's a challenge.

As for someone struggling to get something into their car, I've offered to help in the past, but most people refuse the help and some almost act as if they're insulted by the offer. I suppose they take it as a suggestion that they can't do it without assistance. So I no longer offer to help.

I also think it to be proper to hold the door for a woman. Haven't ran across any yet I've annoyed with doing it but maybe some day lol, lol. On my first visit here with Lorry last July she wasn't accustomed to having the door opened and held for her Now she's use to it

As for the helping people maybe they're s bit less trusting of assistance here than folks in Nova Scotia. Although those I did help were thankful they were a bit surprised

Yeah I suppose some people could take it as not being capable for themselves but if they're struggling enough with something they'll gladly take the help