Getting over the "shoulds"

[babybunny 2]

GEG, are you a political science maj? I think you are. this is good.

[lion_lioness 0]

It's a public forum. End. Specific to immigration (i.e. relationship, financial, family legal etc issues) so what is the harm in discussing the issues? I agree 100% that for some at least having the issues brought up could open their eyes to things they didn't allow themselves to see. Especially, for those marrying outside of their cultural background.

Let's not forget, if you don't like the topic in a particular forum you can always opt to be pass on to the next - there are sooo many to choose from here. With that said, each should have an opportunity to express their viewpoints and since we're all adults, keep it respectful .

Uh ohhhh that was one of the "should of's" wasn't it lol.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Poli-sci is one of my great interests, but I never majored in it specifically. I have a Ph.D. in cultural history and law in the Muslim world, so maybe that's close?

[babybunny 2]

Poli-sci is one of my great interests, but I never majored in it specifically. I have a Ph.D. in cultural history and law in the Muslim world, so maybe that's close?

oh wowowow. thats cool. I knew you were a smart cookie on here.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Well, thank you, sis!

[babybunny 2]

no thank you!

Message to self * get GEG to help with this dayum paper *

[jundp 191]

I think while people should never feel like they can't love someone because society says they shouldn't (with obvious exceptions of minors, goats, etc.) I also think it's good for people to discuss it here on VJ. It shouldn't be a taboo subject, because maybe frank discussion about it can save some people from getting used and ending up miserable. Just my .02.

Love it!!!!

Well, I'm older than my fiance by 10 years and actually, I am the one who has had to get over the issues. He's never had a problem with it, and neither have my kids or my friends or his friends or family either. I am the one who has had to realize that age is just a number. But there will be people who will judge us and I am fully aware that it could be a red flag when I (finally) file our K1 petition, but that is a risk I will take to be with the person that I love.

[aicha 0]

A lot of good points here - I have an age difference too, but as far as I am concerned it has never been an issue in our relationship. My husband may be youner than me, but his intelligence is amazing! I understand the conversations and the taboo of such things because we have faced a few ourselves, but we also, feel that age is just a number. This is a personal choice for each individual for their own life, however, in our world all things we do and choose will always be debated - some will like it and some will not - regretfully, that is just the way it is. We only need to make the choice to pass it off and live around it - if I let it bother me or others bother me about it, then I only make myself unhappy! And I for one, am very happy with my choice and no one would ever take that away from me and my husband. No matter what the issue is in this world - there will always be things out there that people want to debate - we just have to learn to be confident in ourselves and the things we are debating - we will never win every argument, but at least we are comfortable with ourself and our opinion - that I can live and sleep with!

[aicha 0]

I thought this was kind of fitting - maybe, maybe not, but just a passing thought in the stream of debating choices and the shoulds and should nots.

Thoughts To Ponder

Life it seems is never what we choose - it will forever have the curves, obstacles and the boundaries of others opinions and judgements. We do not even have the right to be born - we just are. The Journey Begins.

We do not choose the family we are born into - the life we are given - the people who will intertwine throughout. Most will disagreee and say we do have choices. However, those choices are limited to the abitlity to freely make them.

Anyone can make choices, but will society in general allow those choices? Will they allow them to be kept and at what price? A sacrifice here and there - is that what pleases others to see? Some are born into great lives, lives where they seem to never have to make any sacrifices - all the good is merely given to them. Is that true or right? Not really - it only seems so on the surface - those people suffer too in different ways.

Most of them suffer due to the fact that they are in the watchful eyes of society and one mistake can live with them forever. Although, to feel the suffering of those in poverty or in normal everyday lives - nearly impossible. Some of them come from hard backgrounds, but somewhere along the trail of life, they forget that previous life and never turn back to offer help to those still in need of something better - someone caring - someone remembering of the horrors of the other life. Most of their hardships or suffering can be chased away because they have money or influence in the right sectors of life.

But, where does that leave the remainder of society who merely beg and plea just to have a normal life - the right to make choices for their personal soul - to right their dreams - the right to give their family a snack at midnight without the cupboards being bare - the right to clothe their family with clothes that have no holes - the right to sleep safely in a bed that is warm and without danger - the right to not be hurt physically, emotionally or sexually - the right to share life with that perfect person if you find them - The Right To Live Because You Were Born!