How I feel :)

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

This is how I feel, admin free to remove this post if it not suitable for this website. However, I just want to share how I feel. I know that some of the VJ members feel like they are superior enough because of the rank that they have. Something like "newbie, junior member, senior member, gold member, platinum member" until sometimes they forgot one thing. They forgot that they are started from newbie until what they are now. They forgot about all kind of "silly" question that they asked when they first started. They forgot how unknowledgeable they are when they first join this website and starting this journey. I'm not saying that every VJ member is like that. However, believe me, every time I saw a post on this site asking a question, there few "senior" members who be like nagging, complaining, and sometimes even classified the question "silly" or "stupid" question. Please, kindly respect others post. It is fine if let say OP asking for advise, and you feel like they are done a wrong thing and want to voice out your opinion or advise to them. However, please don't be too harsh.. Especially if the person who is asking the question is the newbie who just started this journey or who just curious whether what they are doing is right or wrong, who is just curious whether what they are facing is normal or not. Please... 

For example, when people were asking a question regarding guidance on the process. Instead of nagging and complaining a lot, it is much better if you can just reply by giving them a link to the guides. If people asking about they are submitting their petition in July, but still didn't get NOA2 yet and they at the same time asking whether it is normal to wait that long. Instead of expressing how annoyed you feel about the question, it is nicer and easier if you can just give a link to July Filer's forum and stated how long it takes now. 

I always believe that you make life easier for others, your life will be much easier too. You make other members journey easier, your journey will be easier too. I'm really sorry if this post offends some of the members. Good luck with your visa journey everyone! Have a great weekend ahead! 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

49 minutes ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

This is how I feel, admin free to remove this post if it not suitable for this website. However, I just want to share how I feel. I know that some of the VJ members feel like they are superior enough because of the rank that they have. Something like "newbie, junior member, senior member, gold member, platinum member" until sometimes they forgot one thing. They forgot that they are started from newbie until what they are now. They forgot about all kind of "silly" question that they asked when they first started. They forgot how unknowledgeable they are when they first join this website and starting this journey. I'm not saying that every VJ member is like that. However, believe me, every time I saw a post on this site asking a question, there few "senior" members who be like nagging, complaining, and sometimes even classified the question "silly" or "stupid" question. Please, kindly respect others post. It is fine if let say OP asking for advise, and you feel like they are done a wrong thing and want to voice out your opinion or advise to them. However, please don't be too harsh.. Especially if the person who is asking the question is the newbie who just started this journey or who just curious whether what they are doing is right or wrong, who is just curious whether what they are facing is normal or not. Please... 

For example, when people were asking a question regarding guidance on the process. Instead of nagging and complaining a lot, it is much better if you can just reply by giving them a link to the guides. If people asking about they are submitting their petition in July, but still didn't get NOA2 yet and they at the same time asking whether it is normal to wait that long. Instead of expressing how annoyed you feel about the question, it is nicer and easier if you can just give a link to July Filer's forum and stated how long it takes now. 

I always believe that you make life easier for others, your life will be much easier too. You make other members journey easier, your journey will be easier too. I'm really sorry if this post offends some of the members. Good luck with your visa journey everyone! Have a great weekend ahead! 

I could not agree more with you on this issue. But my biggest pet peeve with some new posters here is that they try to ask questions to work around the system or try to see if they are any consequences for knowingly committing fraud.

 

We all here on VJ know that being apart from family or your SO is hard and quite frankly it sucks to say the least, some more so than others due to the LONG wait times that they suffer. So by people trying to KNOWINGLY break the law to make the time go by faster or insulting someone because they don't get the answer that the person wants is insulting to say the least. The other minor pet peeve I have on this site is people supposedly posting about friend or family member, all the while further into the thread it turns out to be them. Why not just come out and say it's you, what is the harm in doing that?  That is the only thing that gets me about this site

Edited January 12, 2018 by cyberfx1024

[John & Rose 7,239]

6 minutes ago, cyberfx1024 said:

I could not agree more with you on this issue. But my biggest pet peeve with some new posters here is that they try to ask questions to work around the system or try to see if they are any consequences for knowingly committing fraud.

 

There have been more of these lately.  Questions about how to get away with visa fraud and even people asking us as strangers to to be a co-sponsor.  #######.  Sure, who here wouldn't want to give our financial information to a complete stranger because they dont have enough money to meet the minimum requirement?

[Marcelina 246]

I agree with @Perfect two 💑I personally never saw a senior member being super mean to newbies but I have seen some members purely venting their anger and frustration during their own "waiting game" with USCIS. For those members it would be better if they just kept their attitude to themselves bcs they are not helping.

 

I treat replies to ppl who obviously try to ask about shady stuff a different matter

[Happytobe 164]

Another thing is, there’s a very handy search tool  that should be utilized, because many “newbie” questions are repeated daily/weekly/monthly etc. So, although I empathize with what you’re saying, after using the site for as long as some of us have.... if “newbie’s” actually look and search, many answers can be found and they could then ask more direct questions that may pertain to their case specifically. I guess I’m sounding like a jerk, at the moment, but we “old-timers” have lived it, learned along the way, and know that the site has A LOT of information IF you take the time and have the patience to seek it. This whole process needs patience and calm and it’s so easy to get caught up with frustration.... but, I digress..... There’s always a thread or two every day looking for “fast and easy” and a thread or two that screams of fraud and ones that the OP could have just done a search or clicked on a tab and gotten the answers.... 

 

OK.... rant over... have a happy Friday 😎

[BlueSapphire 4]

1 hour ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

I always believe that you make life easier for others, your life will be much easier too. You make other members journey easier, your journey will be easier too

I love this part <3

[geowrian 22,337]

No name shaming, please. That can be interpreted as a personal attack.

[Marzena & Stephen 544]

Even surpassing the newbie stage this website is not an easy website to use.

And that being said I'm very tech but getting through all the forums and the search engine etc can get complicated sometimes. 

I remember it being extremely confusing when I first started using it about 9 months or so back.

Also you have to remember some people on here don't know how to use computer at all and on top of that some people don't speak English very well.

So that being said I completely agree with this post. Nothing like your questions being bashed.

 

But I also to point out this isn't a place to give your life story and use as counselling like some people do. This is the internet and bad people read your information. Disclosing too much is not good.

 

 

[John & Rose 7,239]

58 minutes ago, Marzena & Stephen said:

Even surpassing the newbie stage this website is not an easy website to use.

And that being said I'm very tech but getting through all the forums and the search engine etc can get complicated sometimes. 

I agree.  The search function works but there are so many people from so many countries from so many years...Than answers for the same question asked last year will be completely different this year.  Imagine searching how long the whole process takes and looking at a response from last year where it was 40 days from NOA1 to POE!  That information won't help the newbie this year.  

 

Raise your hand if you had seen a newbie respond to a 5 year old post!  I have...a few times.  This is a very fluid environment so we should be more understanding with the new questions.

Edited January 12, 2018 by John & Rose

[Happytobe 164]

Great points. It’s a good reminder that everyone is different. I, personally, read through soooooo many posts and ALL of the Consulate reviews for hubby’s country, and was able to see how things changed over the years. I’m sure I’ve asked some silly things, and I fully admit I’m an old cranky lady at this point 😂😂😂 I’m even guilty of arguing with another member during our processes because we were just both grump-butts that day. (I owe him a long-overdue apology). Ahhhhhh, humans. 

[Marcelina 246]

I personaly learned what I needed from guide also tracking K1 forum from time to time to see what ppl struggle with.

But for someone who is superb new there is no way to know there are separate forums for May, July NOA1 etc... Forums is huuuuge

 

And yup, some people coud just fill the timeline correctly to get estimated processing times etc. But not all are good with forums/internet/pages and some are just lazy So it will be always an issue. Have a good weekend all!

[Happytobe 164]

I’m unofficially recommending a “start here” questionnaire upon signing up that would then give the Members a “to-do” list of site directions 

 

😎

[Ben&Zian 4,398]

57 minutes ago, Happytobe said:

I’m unofficially recommending a “start here” questionnaire upon signing up that would then give the Members a “to-do” list of site directions 

 

😎

 

Think this has been recommended before. As a lot have said because while the search option is great tool, naturally you find a lot of old and out dated posts that while informative, are not much actual help. 

I know I did read through a lot of really old posts when I first joined and it was very helpful; but not always up to date.

 

An "intro" type document or "start here" questionaire or guide could be useful. Again believe it has been brought up before, main thing is will people use it or just "jump into the forum"; but definately not a bad idea to look into again.

[CharlieTshiab 66]

I'm a newbie and will be applying for K1

 

I've been reading a lot from this site and have been contemplating between hiring an attorney, some visa help/support site, 3/4th party support or compiling everything myself.  I do have to say, while reading some threads it has given me a lot of hope that I can do this myself.

 

Many of you Senior Members have given great responses!  But after reading this thread, I'm really hoping for that INTRO/START HERE guide.  As you've all mentioned, I'm seeing things anywhere from 2004-2017.  Some are still useful information (I'm hoping) but as I begin putting my packet together in the next few weeks.  I'm sure I'll be posting repeated questions but with that said, I plan to research on here and other locations as much as possible.

 

Again, the folks and senior members on this site who have shared specific scenario with us NEWBIES are very much appreciated and much of my own insecurities of this massive process have been lifted slightly..!  Thanks in advance!

[dawning 212]

I agree that it's unfortunate that some people feel the need to shame people for asking questions they think are too obvious.  No one has to comment on any given post.  Why not just move on and find one you think is more interesting or challenging?