Disadvantages due to different last names although married

[Caro1 78]

Hello VJ Family,

 

let me start with a little background information to explain why I'm even asking this question.

I'm German, my girlfriend is a US Citizen. Because the CR1 visa seems to have advantages (like no specific AP or EAD needed, LPR at POE, cheaper, etc.) over the K1 visa, we are considering marrying next time she comes to see me in March, here in Germany, and then filing the appropriate paper work for me to come live with her.

 

In Germany (not sure if the US rules is any different), we can choose to
a) keep our individual last names,
b) agree on one of our last names or
c) one of us taking both last names and the other keeping their maiden Name.

 

Right now, we are prefering to choose option a) of each keeping our individual last names.
The reason why we prefer this option right now, is because I don't want my current employer to know I've married a US Citizen, because I don't want my employer to think/know that I'm planing on leaving Germany to immigrate to the US, thus quitting my current job.
Since the visa process takes a long time, I might get another promotion in my current job before quitting and moving to be with my then wife. I'm sure I won't get any promotions if my employer assumes I will quit my job soon anyway.

 

We don't want to take my last name, since it contains German special characters (Umlaut: Ü), and spelling it is always going to be a pain in the butt in the US.

 

So long story short, coming back to my initial question:
Is there any disadvantages to having different last names although we are married?

I'm thinking out of the box,  e.g. getting information in hospitals when the other has had an accident and information can only be given to family.
Does that mean I'll have to carry my marriage certificate everywhere, just in case?

 

Will it be a red flag in the CR1 visa application?

 

Thank you in advance for any advice/thoughts on this!

[milimelo 4,508]

Not a red flag at all. 

Yes, may necessitate bringing marriage certificate to prove relationship but not a big deal. 

 

Plenty of people choose to keep their last name especially if they're known in their work field with that name (publications, research). 

[Ontarkie 14,304]

Ok Here's my take as I have a different last name then my older kids since I got remarried. 

 

I am forever called by their last name, from schools to doctors. It does not matter that all the forms have been filled out showing my name. It's not a big deal for me as I had that last name for 15 yrs so I automatically respond to it. I do know some ppl who truly do get upset about it.

 

So if you have kids and the kids take on the one parent's name the other parent will get called by that name and what a mess double names make omg. Some ppl do not think what this does to the kids. (there are some pretty horrible combo's not all but enough) 

 

Second it's a royal pain in the butt for Christmas cards, wedding invitation, birthday invites, and just plain old mail. (yes I'm being picky) Ppl never know how to address them. Will they offend someone if they don't do Mr and Mrs Smith vs Mr Smith and Mrs Blue, or the Blue family or is it the Smith family. 

 

So all in all this is just a few things I see many of my friends complain about on both sides of the fence. 

 

Immigration wise they don't give two hoots what you do.

 

[Caro1 78]

Thank you both very much for your quick responses!

 

I appreaciate the input! I'm glad to hear it's not a red flag in the process!

 

I won't be offended, if I'll be called by the wrong last name. Which is actually why I am wondering, if it's possible to change your mind about this later? Meaning we will pick different last names when getting married in Germany, and then have me take her last name when I finally make it over there?

I know in Germany that's not possible unless children are born into the marriage. Is it possible in the US?

 

 

[milimelo 4,508]

Immigrant visa (and also GC based on the visa) will be in your passport name. You'd have to go through court process to change the name in the US if you want to use a different last name. Then you'll have to change your green card and other docs to match ($$$). 

[lucybelle 453]

No disadvantage. I didn’t change my last name, as is customary in Latin culture.

[debbiedoo 2,339]

Do what you want. As others have said, its personal preference. a Marriage certificate proves the marriage for any questions.

 

i go by my maiden name. i hate my ex (now deceased) with a passion. LEgally, I have to use my married name, but for anything short of legal stuff.... i use my maiden. im never questioned about it. when Paul and I marry, I'll take his name.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I don't agree with your reasoning regarding the name change, but that's of no concern.

 

My wife kept her maiden name for many years after we married, as she was known under it in her professional community. I was perfectly fine with it. Eventually she changed her name, as a "Christmas present" to me, but, frankly, it didn't really matter to me at all.

 

Our daughter, well, her daughter from her ex (he died surprisingly at age 36), still carries her dad's last name. She's 28 now. So we were a happy family of 3 people with 3 different names, and nobody gave a hoot. Do you think anybody was outraged that there was a Bruce Willis and a Demi Moore, both married?

 

If you want to change your name, do it before you leave for the United States. If you change it in the US, you'll also have to get a new Green Card, to the tune of $450.00. Not fun.

In the US, you can change your last name anytime based on marriage, but as a Green Card holder, that implies getting a new Green Card, which is the master document for a foreign resident. Otherwise, the best time to change it is when you naturalize, which, if you stay married, can be as early as 3 years after you became a Green Card holder.

 

 

[lucybelle 453]

I’m a teacher (didn’t change name) and it always brings a smile to my face when I’m out with the husband and I see a student and they ask “is that Mr. Lucybelle?” And I’m always like “yes, yes it is!”