vawa Abuse in my marriage

[Sad&Abused 0]

I am married to a U.S citizen and he is abusing me. I came to the U.S and I got sick and had a major operation and spent one year in a rehab facility. While I was in the rehab I met the most wonderful man. He was sweet, kind, loving, he was just overall amazing and we fell in love. He got released from the rehab about 2 months before I did and when I got out I decided I was gonna rent an apartment and just start fresh because I had lost one year of my life. I was trying to move on from him. Trying to convince myself that what we had was just because we had no other options. But I couldn't and it didn't help that he was calling and texting me non-stop so I decided ok let's just see where this leads. BAM! He asks me to marry him. I was over the moon because I love this man. I told him I wanna do this the right way. I don't want us to move in together until after the ceremony. He said he was so eager to make me his wife we had to get married right away. A few weeks later we were standing in line at the court house, giddy in love and eager to be man and wife. We did it. We got married over a year ago and I moved in. We were happy for the first couple months and then I got a job. He would argue that he couldn't work because of his hip and I was working and acting like I was better than him. I tried to play it down because as this point we're already married and I have no family here so I have nowhere else to go. And he had already filed the I-130. I noticed he started drinking and his sister told me he always drank - this was news to me. The first time he beat me I was shocked and humiliated. I'm a 50 year old woman and I've never before experienced this. I didn't know what to do. Then he would apologize and say he's sorry and do it again a couple days later. I got my work-permit a couple months after we filed and he said he was happy and then that night he beat me because he said I would get a good job and walk around like I was somebody and I was nobody. I went and did a nursing course a couple months after that and on the day of my exam he used his cane to beat me bloody and break one my fingers so I couldn't do the exam. I've called the police countless times. I contacted a lawyer who does VAWA cases for the state and she promised to get the paper work started but up till yesterday when I spoke to her she hadn't started yet because she says they have to meet with me a few more times. I'm writing this from a hospital bed with a brace on my neck and back because he tried to break my back tonight. He says he isn't going to stop until he kills me. What can I do? The VAWA application hasn't started processing and for all I know our interview is being scheduled right now. I can't do this anymore. What can I do? Please help me. He says he will tell them he doesn't know me if we go in to the interview together. I know realistically he can't say that but it just shows that he... At this point I don't even know. 

Edited January 11, 2018 by Sad&Abused
added a sentence at the end and fixed a few typing mistakes

[Marieke H 2,512]

So sorry this is happening to you...

 

First things first: you need to get away from him as soon as you can. Find a safe place, maybe a shelter. Maybe the people in the hospital can refer you to a shelter.

 

Get yourself into safety first. Then worry about your immigration status.

[Sad&Abused 0]

I intend to do that. I will.not be going back there when I am released. The police have me a protection order so he will not be able to come back to the house if I do go back there. 

[milimelo 4,487]

~ Moving to Effects forum where OP will get more answers. ~

[JFH 12,190]

Which city are you in? There must be a woman's shelter nearby. You must not even communicate with him. Let alone live with him. If you've found this website from the hospital bed I'm sure you can find the contact details for a shelter or charity that can help you with accommodation and safety. Tell the nurses he is not to visit you at the hospital and they must not even speak to him on the phone if he calls to ask about you. They should just terminate the call and notify the police that he is trying to contact you. Do you have your passport with you and other documents? I hope he hasn't got his hands on them. Have you considered returning to your home country? 

Edited January 11, 2018 by JFH

[Cheschirecat 176]

54 minutes ago, Sad&Abused said:

I am married to a U.S citizen and he is abusing me. I came to the U.S and I got sick and had a major operation and spent one year in a rehab facility. While I was in the rehab I met the most wonderful man. He was sweet, kind, loving, he was just overall amazing and we fell in love. He got released from the rehab about 2 months before I did and when I got out I decided I was gonna rent an apartment and just start fresh because I had lost one year of my life. I was trying to move on from him. Trying to convince myself that what we had was just because we had no other options. But I couldn't and it didn't help that he was calling and texting me non-stop so I decided ok let's just see where this leads. BAM! He asks me to marry him. I was over the moon because I love this man. I told him I wanna do this the right way. I don't want us to move in together until after the ceremony. He said he was so eager to make me his wife we had to get married right away. A few weeks later we were standing in line at the court house, giddy in love and eager to be man and wife. We did it. We got married over a year ago and I moved in. We were happy for the first couple months and then I got a job. He would argue that he couldn't work because of his hip and I was working and acting like I was better than him. I tried to play it down because as this point we're already married and I have no family here so I have nowhere else to go. And he had already filed the I-130. I noticed he started drinking and his sister told me he always drank - this was news to me. The first time he beat me I was shocked and humiliated. I'm a 50 year old woman and I've never before experienced this. I didn't know what to do. Then he would apologize and say he's sorry and do it again a couple days later. I got my work-permit a couple months after we filed and he said he was happy and then that night he beat me because he said I would get a good job and walk around like I was somebody and I was nobody. I went and did a nursing course a couple months after that and on the day of my exam he used his cane to beat me bloody and break one my fingers so I couldn't do the exam. I've called the police countless times. I contacted a lawyer who does VAWA cases for the state and she promised to get the paper work started but up till yesterday when I spoke to her she hadn't started yet because she says they have to meet with me a few more times. I'm writing this from a hospital bed with a brace on my neck and back because he tried to break my back tonight. He says he isn't going to stop until he kills me. What can I do? The VAWA application hasn't started processing and for all I know our interview is being scheduled right now. I can't do this anymore. What can I do? Please help me. He says he will tell them he doesn't know me if we go in to the interview together. I know realistically he can't say that but it just shows that he... At this point I don't even know. 

http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-and-immigrants/

 

there is also a law about it too.  ABUSE IS AGAINST THE LAW

[Cheschirecat 176]

55 minutes ago, Sad&Abused said:

I am married to a U.S citizen and he is abusing me. I came to the U.S and I got sick and had a major operation and spent one year in a rehab facility. While I was in the rehab I met the most wonderful man. He was sweet, kind, loving, he was just overall amazing and we fell in love. He got released from the rehab about 2 months before I did and when I got out I decided I was gonna rent an apartment and just start fresh because I had lost one year of my life. I was trying to move on from him. Trying to convince myself that what we had was just because we had no other options. But I couldn't and it didn't help that he was calling and texting me non-stop so I decided ok let's just see where this leads. BAM! He asks me to marry him. I was over the moon because I love this man. I told him I wanna do this the right way. I don't want us to move in together until after the ceremony. He said he was so eager to make me his wife we had to get married right away. A few weeks later we were standing in line at the court house, giddy in love and eager to be man and wife. We did it. We got married over a year ago and I moved in. We were happy for the first couple months and then I got a job. He would argue that he couldn't work because of his hip and I was working and acting like I was better than him. I tried to play it down because as this point we're already married and I have no family here so I have nowhere else to go. And he had already filed the I-130. I noticed he started drinking and his sister told me he always drank - this was news to me. The first time he beat me I was shocked and humiliated. I'm a 50 year old woman and I've never before experienced this. I didn't know what to do. Then he would apologize and say he's sorry and do it again a couple days later. I got my work-permit a couple months after we filed and he said he was happy and then that night he beat me because he said I would get a good job and walk around like I was somebody and I was nobody. I went and did a nursing course a couple months after that and on the day of my exam he used his cane to beat me bloody and break one my fingers so I couldn't do the exam. I've called the police countless times. I contacted a lawyer who does VAWA cases for the state and she promised to get the paper work started but up till yesterday when I spoke to her she hadn't started yet because she says they have to meet with me a few more times. I'm writing this from a hospital bed with a brace on my neck and back because he tried to break my back tonight. He says he isn't going to stop until he kills me. What can I do? The VAWA application hasn't started processing and for all I know our interview is being scheduled right now. I can't do this anymore. What can I do? Please help me. He says he will tell them he doesn't know me if we go in to the interview together. I know realistically he can't say that but it just shows that he... At this point I don't even know. 

https://www.uscis.gov/humanitarian/battered-spouse-children-parents

[Sad&Abused 0]

I have my passport and all my documents on me at all times. I have already began making checks for a shelter. I have considered going back to my home country many times but there is nowhere to go. I fell like giving up sometimes. I feel like I am between a rock and a really hard place. I am in New York

[Boiler 45,575]

On what basis did you come to the US?

[deepfineleg 13]

I suggest, you find a shelter or safe place. Potentially, contact police again for restraining order. Please seek necessary medical help and eventually legal help to divorce. I think, immigration should not be your concern. I suggest focus on your safety and detaching from the man who caused turmoil in your life. 

 

As you noted, you are 50-years old; it is probably suitable that you return to your country and in favorable environment. Further, details about how you were in US initially are unclear.

[Sad&Abused 0]

I came to the US in a visitor's visa and then received an extension on my stay because of my illness and then I met him. It isn't that I wouldn't return to my home country but I have nowhere to go back to. My mother is dead and my siblings are dead and I was not able to have children. 

 

I am currently working on a restraining order and he is in jail. The police are now involved. 

[Boiler 45,575]

My experience is that Travel Insurers want you back home as soon as you can travel. They do not want to be paying US rates.

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

Talk to a social worker before you leave the hospital! Please no one should have to go through this regardless of immigration status 

[kris&me 572]

21 hours ago, Sad&Abused said:

I intend to do that. I will.not be going back there when I am released. The police have me a protection order so he will not be able to come back to the house if I do go back there. 

dont' count on that

people ignore protection orders all the time

get to the shelter / they are kept a secret from abusive husbands and bfs

[deepfineleg 13]

I'm not sure how your travel insurers are paying for such medical expenses. I haven't known that you can live in US for so long to outlive your mother, brothers and sisters.