K1 Wife Claiming Neglect

[dkallung 2]

Hi everyone, I have a question about a claim my wife is making. She is threatening to involve law enforcement because I am neglecting her and I would like to know if she has any grounds to make this claim.

 

I was staying at my boss's house watching his place while he was gone. The first few days I stayed there with my wife but she was acting very crazy, insisting on arguing, and intentionally keeping me and my 5 year old son awake at night with loud music and standing in the room loudly talking about what she was angry about. I told her if she doesn't stop she would have to go home while I stayed at my boss's. She didn't stop so I took her home the next day. Since then she has had food, a warm place to stay (my place), internet, a phone to use, and a little spending money. I told her to let me know if she needs anything. She got sick at one point and I asked her what she needed and her symptoms. She had a fever and was tired and felt sick to her stomach, so I went to check on her and gave her ibuprofen and asked her if she needed anything else, she said no. She stayed with a friend for a few days because she felt neglected while I was at work and she was sick. She was sick for two days but was feeling better today.

 

So today I am still not staying at home with her and it has been a little over 3 weeks. She has still been angry at me and argumentative when I am there so I am staying with a friend for now. She asked me this afternoon to take her to do laundry at the coin laundry and get her Popey's Chicken. I told her I couldn't today and would be there tomorrow after work. She got very upset and said I was treating her badly. Then later says she is getting law enforcement involved. Does it sound like I did anything wrong here to the point where law enforcement or immigration would do something? Thanks for reading.

Edited January 8, 2018 by dkallung

[TBoneTX 45,325]

Thread is moved from the K-1 Process forum to the Effects of Major Changes forum, where similar issues are discussed.

[Sandra G. 5,048]

In her case the police  will not file a police report because  you are not coming  home, but who knows what she will tell them. She can  lie to  the police  and you might  have  some problems  with the Justice.

 

It seems to me considering  what you  are saying that your marriage is a disaster.

 

[Chris Duffy 1,257]

15 minutes ago, sandranj said:

In her case the police  will not file a police report because  you are not coming  home, but who knows what she will tell them. She can  lie to  the police  and you might  have  some problems  with the Justice.

 

It seems to me considering  what you  are saying that your marriage is a disaster.

 

I agree it sounds like a disaster, and the wildcard is what she tells the police.

 

I would start making plans to divorce, seek a lawyers help and get an escape plan in order.  Life is too short to be in a unhappy relationhsip

[Boiler 45,549]

Setting you up for a VAWA? Seems very common.

[dkallung 2]

On 1/8/2018 at 5:27 AM, Chris Duffy said:

I agree it sounds like a disaster, and the wildcard is what she tells the police.

 

I would start making plans to divorce, seek a lawyers help and get an escape plan in order.  Life is too short to be in a unhappy relationhsip

Thank you everyone for the replies. Yes it is a disaster. I keep trying to see if we can at least get along but she keeps coming up with reasons to blow up at me, and tonight was the final straw. 

 

Anyway, I am going to pull the application and get divorced. I really can't afford the lawyer but all I know is I never did anything even close to abusive to her. Does anyone know the fastest way to cancel the petition? if I call USCIS would they help? Should I get divorced before cancelling the petition? I'm not getting a lawyer I'm just going to tell them I never neglected her or laid a hand on her if she claims that, so if anyone has any advice about proceeding without a lawyer it would be appreciated, thanks again.

[Daisy.Chain 317]

It sounds like your wife may feel cloistered, especially if she is living basically alone and can't take care of some basic needs. I hope you are giving her time to adjust!

 

You are unlikely to run into problems with law enforcement for what you described.

 

[dkallung 2]

On 1/8/2018 at 5:27 AM, Chris Duffy said:

I agree it sounds like a disaster, and the wildcard is what she tells the police.

 

I would start making plans to divorce, seek a lawyers help and get an escape plan in order.  Life is too short to be in a unhappy relationhsip

Well, she never followed through on any of her threats toward me. She left to stay with a friend in another state and with the separation we have both had time to cool off and talk about things. I realize that I have made many terrible mistakes and was too angry and emotional to see what I did wrong, and she has also apologized for her behavior. Thank you for your reply Chris.

[dkallung 2]

On 1/9/2018 at 6:36 PM, Daisy.Chain said:

It sounds like your wife may feel cloistered, especially if she is living basically alone and can't take care of some basic needs. I hope you are giving her time to adjust!

 

You are unlikely to run into problems with law enforcement for what you described.

 

Thank you Daisy, I think you were actually exactly right. She was going through an adjustment period and neither of us was able to see that this was the reason for so much of her behavior. I reacted in completely the wrong way, I should have had more patience and pushed through the difficult time. We have now been separated for almost a year and this has actually been a good way for us to calm down and talk, unfortunately I also cancelled the AOS when we were first separated and I still though we were done for sure, so now we have to deal with that.

[dkallung 2]

On 1/8/2018 at 6:09 PM, Boiler said:

Setting you up for a VAWA? Seems very common.

Yes I have heard it is common, but she actually never mentioned abuse. Everything she has done actually seems to be a way of trying to force me to come back to her. She has been completely crazy at times but I think I have misunderstood why she was like that. I have been so used to people with ill will around me that I couldn't even comprehend someone doing emotional and hurtful things with good intentions rather than trying to hurt someone.

[TBoneTX 45,325]

Thanks for returning with your updates.  Good luck.

[little immigrant 801]

Will you file AOS again? 

[dkallung 2]

5 hours ago, little immigrant said:

Will you file AOS again? 

Yes, we have decided to stay Married and file the AOS again, she is coming back here to Colorado on 2/24/2019.

Edited February 12, 2019 by dkallung

[Daisy.Chain 317]

17 hours ago, dkallung said:

Thank you Daisy, I think you were actually exactly right. She was going through an adjustment period and neither of us was able to see that this was the reason for so much of her behavior. I reacted in completely the wrong way, I should have had more patience and pushed through the difficult time. We have now been separated for almost a year and this has actually been a good way for us to calm down and talk, unfortunately I also cancelled the AOS when we were first separated and I still though we were done for sure, so now we have to deal with that.

Good, glad to hear it.

 

You guys still have option to apply for AOS

[TBoneTX 45,325]

A post from someone who didn't read the thread has been removed.