Complicated case. I need an advise please!

[EricT 6]

On 1/7/2018 at 6:51 PM, Russ&Caro said:

If you go, you should work out how you deal with her son's behavior in advance.

I did offer to spend time together at least a month here in US by coming as a visitor. Its been 15 hours and she didn't say anything. I am very close to break up with her. A person who loves should say right away without thinking "Of course I will come, I would love to spend time with you!" She didn't say this...

[EricT 6]

7 minutes ago, Boiler said:

What she is doing seems to be working.

Not anymore. I will break up with her. I did offer to spend time together at least a month here in US by coming as a visitor. Its been 15 hours and she didn't say anything. People who love don't do that. She is definitely doesn't care.

[EricT 6]

12 hours ago, Olee12 said:

From personal experience ,  she's really good manipulator and you can't see this clearly because "love" involved .  Pls, do yourself  favor and move on . Nothing worse is living in regrets. 

She is a good manipulator. I will break up with her, I am just too nice, its not easy and I also I don't want to be an ####### and tell her to f... off!

[EricT 6]

12 hours ago, Khallaf said:

I want to start of by saying I have been in your shoes, and I made the mistake of getting married to a man, who used me to get here, and the moment he had his citizenship, and had passed the 5 year mark, he promptly told me he didn't want to be married to me anymore. I went through the stress and heartbreak and emotional and financial loss.

 

I have gone through all the messages, and all the classic signs. When you love someone you take the time to let them know your thinking about them, when you love someone you take advantage of being able to spend more time with them. when she didn't want to spend the extra week with you, that should have raised the biggest red flag you know.

 

When it comes to her son, if he is hitting you and smiling and you can tell it isn't a game, that he is being abusive to you now, and you haven't married his mom yet, and she fails to discipline him, another gigantic red flag. I do not believe it has anything to do with being able to communicate him, he is spoiled and not lacks respect.

 

I have sever trust issues when it comes to relationships, my current husband now, he knows this and understands this, also a high level of anxiety, but he supports me and we talk every day, he has often begged me to stay in his country longer, but do to needing my job to support us, and in life, I couldn't take anymore time off, we text every day, we facetime as often as we can and I call him every 2-3 days just to hear his voice, he will call me and hang up, its cheaper for me to call him on my cell phone plan, so I call back, and he tells me he calls just to tell me he loves me. Those are signs that they love you. 

 

Avoiding you, and telling you they are too busy, these are bad signs.

Yeah, she is clearly doesn't love me. Thanks for sharing your story, this is crazy what you went through. I hope people like that will get punished one day.

[az2014 381]

So how long has it been since she hasn't replied to your message? Think I missed it.

[EricT 6]

Just now, az2014 said:

So how long has it been since she hasn't replied to your message? Think I missed it.

Somewhere around 15 hours.

[Ontarkie 14,234]

Just because she is not texting you 45 times a day to charm the pants off of you does not mean she is not scamming you. She has strung you along this long and look how hard it is for you to break it off. Not loving you the way you deserve to get to the US is scamming you.

 

You don't need to be a horrible person. Just tell her that you two are not compatible and you are parting ways. Wish her the best and be done. 

This is the part where you need to turn your heart off and only use your head above the shoulders. 

[Iwo_Jima 119]

What messaging application are you both using? 

[EricT 6]

2 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Just because she is not texting you 45 times a day to charm the pants off of you does not mean she is not scamming you. She has strung you along this long and look how hard it is for you to break it off. Not loving you the way you deserve to get to the US is scamming you.

 

You don't need to be a horrible person. Just tell her that you two are not compatible and you are parting ways. Wish her the best and be done. 

This is the part where you need to turn your heart off and only use your head above the shoulders. 

If I had a switch on my heart my life would so much easier.

1 minute ago, Iwo_Jima said:

What messaging application are you both using? 

Messenger

[Ontarkie 14,234]

1 minute ago, EricT said:

If I had a switch on my heart my life would so much easier.

 

Tell me about it. 

[EricT 6]

5 minutes ago, Iwo_Jima said:

What messaging application are you both using? 

Messenger

[Olee12 41]

24 minutes ago, EricT said:

She is a good manipulator. I will break up with her, I am just too nice, its not easy and I also I don't want to be an ####### and tell her to f... off!

I am a woman ,  and I am giving you advise from woman perspective ,  she's not going after you, she's going after Green Card .  If woman interested in a man on serious level of commitment ,  you'll never secondguess your relationship .  Being  a nice guy is  not gonna  take you nowhere besides dissapointments and regrets .  Don't get me wrong either ,  nothing wrong with to be a nice guy, but the difference is knowing when eunagh is eunagh and put end to it without feeling guilty .  

Edited January 9, 2018 by Olee12

[Going through 5,671]

Sounds like she's giving you all the signs that she's just not that into you.

 

On an aside, if you have mentioned to her in the past over this relationship, something along the lines of "It's been X amount of minutes/hours since I sent you this message and you haven't responded yet!" as you keep mentioning it in this thread, perhaps over time it began to tick her off...

 

[EricT 6]

11 minutes ago, Going through said:

Sounds like she's giving you all the signs that she's just not that into you.

 

On an aside, if you have mentioned to her in the past over this relationship, something along the lines of "It's been X amount of minutes/hours since I sent you this message and you haven't responded yet!" as you keep mentioning it in this thread, perhaps over time it began to tick her off...

 

Yes, its been many times that we had a fight over why she is not replying. 

[EricT 6]

22 minutes ago, Olee12 said:

I am a woman ,  and I am giving you advise from woman perspective ,  she's not going after you, she's going after Green Card .  If woman interested in a man on serious level of commitment ,  you'll never secondguess your relationship .  Being  a nice guy is  not gonna  take you nowhere besides dissapointments and regrets .  Don't get me wrong either ,  nothing wrong with to be a nice guy, but the difference is knowing when eunagh is eunagh and put end to it without feeling guilty .  

I know all this. I will eventually break up with her.