Complicated case. I need an advise please!

[Crazy Cat 41,903]

4 minutes ago, EricT said:

What's AOS?

You can read all about it here. You need to study the process.  Good Luck!!

 

http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1k3aos

Edited January 7, 2018 by missileman

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

9 minutes ago, EricT said:

What's VAWA?

 

A provision to protect abused spouses, that is used (abused) by some immigrant spouses in green card marriages to be able to stay once the US citizen spouse belatedly wakes up to the truth of the matter and tries to divorce. Potentially with serious consequences for the USC spouse.

[EricT 6]

1 hour ago, NYCruiser said:

Could you meet her in another country near Khazistan which is easier (cheaper) to get to? Sounds like you need to be very careful in filing this K1 visa. 

There is a 90 day period where she comes here but this is not for seeing if you two are compatible. 

 

I would definitely wait before filing the I-129f

I want to wait too. I don't want to use those 90 days to find out if we are comparable. If I will bring her here to get married, I won't be able to crush her dream to live in US. I wish I was less sensitive...

[EricT 6]

6 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

A provision to protect abused spouses, that is used (abused) by some immigrant spouses in green card marriages to be able to stay once the US citizen spouse belatedly wakes up to the truth of the matter and tries to divorce. Potentially with serious consequences for the USC spouse.

OK, thanks.

[EricT 6]

Just now, Dee elle said:

Is her dream to marry you or to live in the US? 

Thats a huge question! I still trying to figure out, and I am puzzled! I am a book and street psychologist and still can't figure out. She is tough too though, she grew up in a poor family where she had to come up with something in order to survive, so she knows how to manipulate. There were many cases when she showed that she doesn't give a damn about coming to US but just love me... but then again, I don't know if this was purposely done to confuse me or she is being honest. The thing I don't know if I can handle is her son who is 4 that slaps me many many times when she is in a bathroom or a kitchen. He keeps slapping me and smiling in my face, she knows it since i keep telling him to stop but she wouldn't say anything because she says that its my fault that I can't find a way to communicate with him. I am sorry for opening up to you, i had some vodka... So I don't f... !!! know what to do!!!!

[caliliving 606]

51 minutes ago, EricT said:

I want to wait too. I don't want to use those 90 days to find out if we are comparable. If I will bring her here to get married, I won't be able to crush her dream to live in US. I wish I was less sensitive...

you are CRAZY! If her dream is to live in the usa it does not sound like she even cares about a relationship! if you think this is bad now, just wait when she gets to america and leaves!!!! You are getting used big time.  and you will be crying here in a year about how she broke your heart. 

[payxibka 10,045]

2 minutes ago, EricT said:

 So I don't f... !!! know what to do!!!!

RUN!!!  

[EricT 6]

3 minutes ago, caliliving said:

you are CRAZY! If her dream is to live in the usa it does not sound like she even cares about a relationship! if you think this is bad now, just wait when she gets to america and leaves!!!! You are getting used big time.  and you will be crying here in a year about how she broke your heart. 

See... I am not sure... yes it is her dream... but she also be in love with me too... its difficult to find out...

2 minutes ago, payxibka said:

RUN!!!  

LOL!!! I love your comment!!

[payxibka 10,045]

1 minute ago, EricT said:

See... I am not sure... yes it is her dream... but she also be in love with me too... its difficult to find out...

LOL!!! I love your comment!!

Having been married to someone from the former Soviet Union, I speak from personal experience

[EricT 6]

See guys!! Like right now, I sent her a text message like 10 hours ago. She never replied. Is she would want to come to US so bad then she would say something right away..

[EricT 6]

3 minutes ago, Dee elle said:

I am a professional clinical counsellor.... I am not is your shoes... I can not tell you what to do... but I can tell you that there are multiple things I would want you to explore about yourself and the relationship to help you decide..

 

She is street smart and a survivor... How does that impact her life now and how might it I past her life when she is here and when you are married

 

She comes as a package with her son.. what does the mean for you, your relationship with her and him.. How is it working out now.. what might or might not change when you are married

 

Just a few things to think about and answer for yourself.. no one can make your decision.. sitting across the table with a counsellor can help you to sort through some things.. even just if you meet 2 or 3 times... this decision will impact you no matter what you decide... be as prepared as you can, don't be foolish or naive. 

Ok, thank you. You're absolutely right. See... I feel like the best thing would be to break up with her... but there are two things on a way... ots very very hard... also I am scared if there is a little chance that it is a mistake...

[dawning 212]

1 hour ago, EricT said:

I want to wait too. I don't want to use those 90 days to find out if we are comparable. If I will bring her here to get married, I won't be able to crush her dream to live in US. I wish I was less sensitive...

I don't think you should wish to be less sensitive.  It would be wrong to bring her privately planning to see if you want to go through with it while she thinks it's a full on commitment.  People on this forum are sometimes cavalier about the fact that the immigrant is changing everything in their life to come and be with a new spouse.  What if she gives up everything to come her and you decide you aren't compatible?   Whether her dream is to be with you or to be in the US or both, bringing her here with the idea that you can send her back if things get hard is disrespectful.

That said, if you don't feel sure you should definitely wait.  It doesn't sound like you have spent much time together yet, and it seems unlikely that she will get a visitor's visa to the US

Would it be possible for you to stay in her country for a long period of time?  Maybe have some kind of couples' counseling there? Or is there a third country where you could live together for a while?

[Am & Ra 19]

1 hour ago, EricT said:

What's VAWA?

 

You don't want to know! Just take my advice and don't file the I-129 yet, give it some more time.

[EricT 6]

27 minutes ago, Am & Ra said:

You don't want to know! Just take my advice and don't file the I-129 yet, give it some more time.

I think this is one of the best. Thanks

[EricT 6]

38 minutes ago, dawning said:

I don't think you should wish to be less sensitive.  It would be wrong to bring her privately planning to see if you want to go through with it while she thinks it's a full on commitment.  People on this forum are sometimes cavalier about the fact that the immigrant is changing everything in their life to come and be with a new spouse.  What if she gives up everything to come her and you decide you aren't compatible?   Whether her dream is to be with you or to be in the US or both, bringing her here with the idea that you can send her back if things get hard is disrespectful.

That said, if you don't feel sure you should definitely wait.  It doesn't sound like you have spent much time together yet, and it seems unlikely that she will get a visitor's visa to the US

Would it be possible for you to stay in her country for a long period of time?  Maybe have some kind of couples' counseling there? Or is there a third country where you could live together for a while?

See, thats the problem, she doesn't want to change much, she wants to come back to her country like twice a year or once a year because there is a hearth of her house... she sounds like she doesn't know what marriage means. I think too that they wouldnt give her visitors visa. <Whether her dream is to be with you or to be in the US or both, bringing her here with the idea that you can send her back if things get hard is disrespectful.> Its not disrespectful, its heartless... thats why I don't want to do this. I think I will just ask her if she thinks that we could be a good couple and we'll go from there. Will see..