I know

[Kit kat 0]

Hey all! I have read many times on visajourney people asking for help when it seems like they are asking for relationship advice. But I am truly asking immigration wise. ( I think) 

Here Is my story in brief. 

In am a USC 

meet guy online fell in love

Went to his country and got married

Came back applied for him cr1

Visited him a few times each time he treated me worse.

Had his baby while waiting for this immigration process.

Now we are in the nvc stage already had a scan date probably will have case closed very soon

And now he treats me like s@#$ every day. Fights me on the phone and doesn't seem  interested in me. 

I feel like he is just waiting to come here and leave me. 

Here is my question when we go to the interview  (Yes he wants me to fly over to his interview) can i privately tell the immigration officer to but him on ap? I know it's a silly question. But I want to give him more time to see his reaction and behavior with me. 

Help what can I do? This sucks. I feel like I was used and now our child will suffer as well. From experience I know Visa Journey repliers will ask what country is it or why haven't filled out my timeline none of these things matter too much. What matters to me is how do I slow down this process so I can figure out what to do. 😭

Thank you all in advance 

 

[Boiler 45,584]

Pull your sponsorship, do not go to his country.

[NikLR 13,227]

~~moved to effects of major family changes from IR1/CR1 progress reports~~

 

Contact the NVC and remove the I-864.

Change your phone number.

Start a divorce if you do not wish to be married.  If someone yells at you on the phone what will they do when they are here? Hit you? Hit your child? Control your life? Is that okay with you? 

Edited January 2, 2018 by NikLR

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

1 hour ago, Kit kat said:

Hey all! I have read many times on visajourney people asking for help when it seems like they are asking for relationship advice. But I am truly asking immigration wise. ( I think) 

Here Is my story in brief. 

In am a USC 

meet guy online fell in love

Went to his country and got married

Came back applied for him cr1

Visited him a few times each time he treated me worse.

Had his baby while waiting for this immigration process.

Now we are in the nvc stage already had a scan date probably will have case closed very soon

And now he treats me like s@#$ every day. Fights me on the phone and doesn't seem  interested in me. 

I feel like he is just waiting to come here and leave me. 

Here is my question when we go to the interview  (Yes he wants me to fly over to his interview) can i privately tell the immigration officer to but him on ap? I know it's a silly question. But I want to give him more time to see his reaction and behavior with me. 

Help what can I do? This sucks. I feel like I was used and now our child will suffer as well. From experience I know Visa Journey repliers will ask what country is it or why haven't filled out my timeline none of these things matter too much. What matters to me is how do I slow down this process so I can figure out what to do. 😭

Thank you all in advance 

 

 

There is no need for you to go there just to told the officer to put him on AP. Don't go there. 

You don't need to to slow down the process, what you should do is stop this process. It is not worth it to be with someone who don't have interest on you and treat you like s@H$. 

Aside from that, if you really want to slow down, just told him, you call NVC today asking about your case and the officer said it is under AP. You asked them how long, but the officer can't give you the exact timeline. You are asking them why, but the officer didn't give exact answer and just asked you to wait. Then you can see what reaction you want to see. If you go to his country and told the consulate officer to put him under AP, believe me, the officer will just denied your application instead of put it under AP. Consulate officer is not interested with your problem, what you are facing and what you want to do or check. They just focus on whether the relationship is real or not. Whether it is fraud or not. This is not a test and error process. Once you told them to put your husband under AP, the officer directly believe that it is fraud. 

Edited January 2, 2018 by Perfect two 💑

[TBoneTX 45,377]

Contacting the NVC and removing the I-864 will efficiently and effectively end things.

[Christy&J 837]

1 hour ago, Kit kat said:

 

Here is my question when we go to the interview  (Yes he wants me to fly over to his interview) can i privately tell the immigration officer to but him on ap? I know it's a silly question. But I want to give him more time to see his reaction and behavior with me. 

Help what can I do? This sucks. I feel like I was used and now our child will suffer as well. From experience I know Visa Journey repliers will ask what country is it or why haven't filled out my timeline none of these things matter too much. What matters to me is how do I slow down this process so I can figure out what to do. 😭

Thank you all in advance 

 

I wouldn't go to his country for his interview. what if you tell the officer that day and he figured it ? something worse could happen to you or to your child. if this guy yells and treats you like s**t on the phone, he could do worse in real.

 

don't fly there and removing your application like others already mentioned  

 

Good luck

[NoProblem 69]

If you want to give him more time, just in case if you dont want to pull the application yet, then ask the consulate to delay your interview.  For some very long cases, a person can lose it on the phone however, in your case, as the other posters said, its better to end it right here.  Its sad that the child may grow up without his or her biological father but its better than you or your child getting harmed in any way later on.

[Unlockable 7,314]

10 minutes ago, NoProblem said:

If you want to give him more time, just in case if you dont want to pull the application yet, then ask the consulate to delay your interview.  For some very long cases, a person can lose it on the phone however, in your case, as the other posters said, its better to end it right here.  Its sad that the child may grow up without his or her biological father but its better than you or your child getting harmed in any way later on.

The problem is that it is not the OP’s interview. It is the husband's interview. The husband is just asking the OP to tag along.

[Ontarkie 14,237]

I don't know what rights you would have in Pakistan if he refuses to let you take the child back to the US. This could be his plan to get you back there. I'm sorry I think of the worse things when it comes to kids. Please do not bring your child there. 

[NoProblem 69]

3 hours ago, NuestraUnion said:

The problem is that it is not the OP’s interview. It is the husband's interview. The husband is just asking the OP to tag along.

OP as a petitioner can delay the interview, i.e. ask for at least one extension or delay sending her I-864 when its asked for by the embassy (packet 3.5??).  This is if she needs more time to decide.

 

2 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

I don't know what rights you would have in Pakistan if he refuses to let you take the child back to the US. This could be his plan to get you back there. I'm sorry I think of the worse things when it comes to kids. Please do not bring your child there.

Yes, in Pakistan, the father can cause issues if child is taken there.  Per my knowledge, over there dad has first right to his children vs. mothers as its in the US.

[caliliving 606]

Pull the sponsorship. If the relationship improves you can repetition again

 

Also seems like once he gets to America you won't see him anymore either, or worse. 

[Etamkoos 100]

18 hours ago, Kit kat said:

Hey all! I have read many times on visajourney people asking for help when it seems like they are asking for relationship advice. But I am truly asking immigration wise. ( I think) 

Here Is my story in brief. 

In am a USC 

meet guy online fell in love

Went to his country and got married

Came back applied for him cr1

Visited him a few times each time he treated me worse.

Had his baby while waiting for this immigration process.

Now we are in the nvc stage already had a scan date probably will have case closed very soon

And now he treats me like s@#$ every day. Fights me on the phone and doesn't seem  interested in me. 

I feel like he is just waiting to come here and leave me. 

Here is my question when we go to the interview  (Yes he wants me to fly over to his interview) can i privately tell the immigration officer to but him on ap? I know it's a silly question. But I want to give him more time to see his reaction and behavior with me. 

Help what can I do? This sucks. I feel like I was used and now our child will suffer as well. From experience I know Visa Journey repliers will ask what country is it or why haven't filled out my timeline none of these things matter too much. What matters to me is how do I slow down this process so I can figure out what to do. 😭

Thank you all in advance 

 

There is some really good advice worth heeding here from other posters.  Ultimately, you will follow either your heart or your head, no matter what anyone tells you.

 

Personally, I urge you to consider whether you would accept his behavior if there were no immigration process involved.  LDR's aren't easy and people can fall out occasionally, but what you describe isn't atypical conflict due to missing each other.  An abusive relationship is an abusive relationship, no matter whether there be immigration issues, long distance or being together in person.  No one deserves to be abused.  Don't put up with it.  Stand up for you and your child and withdraw your application.  You will get through this.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

For the sake of your child seeing/ hearing potential future fights and abuse I would not wait and think about it but pull the affidavit of support.
Why waste more money on another trip only to be treated badly ?
Once he is here and has his GC you would be responsible for him financially.
I don't know what exactly you mean by "treating you worse" each time you visit or how you interpret his behavior as him not being 

interested in you. You have to make that decision but you now have a child involved who should never witness any future fights.
Listen to your gut. Get out why it's easier because there will be more drama when he is here, I guarantee it.

Once you would tell the CO privately at the interview to not issue him the visa he will definitely be denied and if you think you can wait and delay
and convince the CO later to issue the visa then you are mistaken. What's the difference to evaluate his behavior for a few days 
before his interview ? You tell the CO and it's OVER anyway.
Are the few days before the interview really going to sway you either way ?
There is no "delaying" and no "don't give him the visa" without a definite denial.
You can do the same from home saving trip money by pulling the I-864 without putting your child in danger of kidnapping and abuse.
This should not be a 'wait and see if he changes' situation, this should be a 'man I missed you and so happy we can start our lives together'

on both sides which doesn't sound like it is. Stop dragging it out.

[JFH 12,190]

Don't waste another nickel on him. I wouldn't even consider going to the interview if it were on the next city, let alone a flight away. Save that money that you would have spent on the flight and put it in your kid's college fund. Don't be an enabler by allowing him to make demands that you accede to. Find someone who loves you for who you are, not the passport you hold. 

 

Call the NVC and withdraw your support. Change your phone number. Block him on Facebook and any other communication tool you have been using with him. Then get down on your knees and thank your lucky stars that neither you nor your baby came to any physical harm and the most damage that has been done is non-refundable visa fees. 

[GarryAndMarie 147]

22 hours ago, Kit kat said:

But I want to give him more time to see his reaction and behavior with me. 

You asked for advice, so mine is: go with this thought of yours. Notify the govt you are removing the sponsorship, and be very clear with your spouse that your needs are not being met right now in the relationship and that this has to change if the relationship is to continue. You may even consider marital counseling - which can be done even with the distance through https://www.breakthrough.com