Petition Cancellation before reaching USCIS?

[Willallen25 7]

My Wife really has gotten depressed and no matter what doesn't see herself being happy here. She's not even willing to try. I'd still give it more time, but the way She's talking could be very serious or her emotions. Just in case, I was wondering if I would be able to cancel the petition while it hasn't reached USCIS yet. This mainly is because I don't think it's right to spend $1,225.00 for a case that may be hopeless before it begins. Hope I made sense, thanks.

[Marco&Bettina 502]

9 minutes ago, Willallen25 said:

My Wife really has gotten depressed and no matter what doesn't see herself being happy here. She's not even willing to try. I'd still give it more time, but the way She's talking could be very serious or her emotions. Just in case, I was wondering if I would be able to cancel the petition while it hasn't reached USCIS yet. This mainly is because I don't think it's right to spend $1,225.00 for a case that may be hopeless before it begins. Hope I made sense, thanks.

What is it she doesn't like, instead of just giving up?

[Willallen25 7]

Honestly it's a situation that she isn't used to overall. I am not happy about it either. Before we started talking My family and I brought a 3 bedroom house. We had to move from a 2 bedroom apartment as they were forcing out longtime tenants to jack up the rent. Just 1 month before we started talking we moved into the house. Of course this and other circumstances have taken a financial toll on me, so moving out was a bad idea, at least until some time for me to save up more money to do so. To begin with She never liked America due top things she heard and her experience with the US Embassy in Haiti. She came because she loved me. It's uncomfortable living with my family, and She feels like My Mom does too much for me. The truth is, My Mom cooks for everyone as I work 5-6 days a week as well as my brother and Dad. I think it's 2 different upbringings that can make her think a certain way, and her Mom raised her differently and She's very independent.  To me it's the actual living conditions that have gotten to her and that is understandable. I feel moving would really help a lot, but I just got another vehicle for us too, so it's something that would happen soon but not as soon as I'd want. 

[Marco&Bettina 502]

2 minutes ago, Willallen25 said:

Honestly it's a situation that she isn't used to overall. I am not happy about it either. Before we started talking My family and I brought a 3 bedroom house. We had to move from a 2 bedroom apartment as they were forcing out longtime tenants to jack up the rent. Just 1 month before we started talking we moved into the house. Of course this and other circumstances have taken a financial toll on me, so moving out was a bad idea, at least until some time for me to save up more money to do so. To begin with She never liked America due top things she heard and her experience with the US Embassy in Haiti. She came because she loved me. It's uncomfortable living with my family, and She feels like My Mom does too much for me. The truth is, My Mom cooks for everyone as I work 5-6 days a week as well as my brother and Dad. I think it's 2 different upbringings that can make her think a certain way, and her Mom raised her differently and She's very independent.  To me it's the actual living conditions that have gotten to her and that is understandable. I feel moving would really help a lot, but I just got another vehicle for us too, so it's something that would happen soon but not as soon as I'd want. 

My now wife and I were living with my parents when she 1st got here. Additionally, she got pregnant only about 2 weeks after arriving at her POE. So, that, in addition to the fact that she was not allowed to work or drive created a ton of stress for us. But just less than 6 months later, her EAD arrived, she got a DL, we moved into our own place, she got a car and a job and voila.

[Willallen25 7]

Just now, Marco&Bettina said:

My now wife and I were living with my parents when she 1st got here. Additionally, she got pregnant only about 2 weeks after arriving at her POE. So, that, in addition to the fact that she was not allowed to work or drive created a ton of stress for us. But just less than 6 months later, her EAD arrived, she got a DL, we moved into our own place, she got a car and a job and voila.

Oh Wow, that's wonderful. I honestly feel that just living with my parents has gotten to her. I think once we are on our own it will improve. Even here it isn't comfortable for her because the House has a lot of things in it too, and while there's space it is not properly utilized. Talking to my Wife She talks like it's hopeless, but She has spoken like that before. 

[Marco&Bettina 502]

4 minutes ago, Willallen25 said:

Oh Wow, that's wonderful. I honestly feel that just living with my parents has gotten to her. I think once we are on our own it will improve. Even here it isn't comfortable for her because the House has a lot of things in it too, and while there's space it is not properly utilized. Talking to my Wife She talks like it's hopeless, but She has spoken like that before. 

When women are not comfortable, it seems like the world is over. Mine wasn't comfortable either in my parents' house, even though they were as accommodating as possible. It just takes time. Best of luck.

[geowrian 22,337]

I agree that it sounds premature to just cancel the whole thing.

 

That said, if somebody really wanted to stop it, the simplest way is to cancel the check or money order before they can redeem it.

Once USCIS cashes/deposits payment, you can still withdraw the I-864 to force the AOS to be denied. However, the money is gone at that point...no refunds.

[tanzaniawinter 10]

My dear before I come to America I always think once your in America all your problems in the world will be solved, damn I got here and living with inlaws I was depressed because I couldn’t stand be with my inlaws they’re not bad people their just not my match. And it’s their house their rules.then  all my day dreaming was to ran back . We never enjoyed ourselves always there people around. No privacy at all. I wanted to leave we fight daily until we moved and that where our happily ever after began.but still I had issues like culture shock and extremely home sick . But I stick to my man and my America 😂. Here I am still not easy but much much better now I have baby to keep me occupied and learn culture. The culture shock is seriously and living with inlaws makes it worse no matter how good they are . It’s no privacy for young couples you need privacy.Good lucky hope she read this . It will get better 

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

I understand how your wife feels. It is hard to adjust to the new environment and at the same time, it is harder to adjust while living with your family (I guess they never staying together before). Because now, instead of adjusting to the environment, she will keep thinking, will it be okay for her to do this and that... She will overthinking on every action that she takes. Even for simple things. Furthermore, since it is not your house, she needs to follow your parents' ways. It added more burden for her because, for her, she is the stranger who came from another country, married with their son and living there. Give your wife time, talk to her more, find out more what she doesn't feel comfortable about. A woman always overthinking and emotional. Let her know that it is temporary when you are financially stable and she can start working, both of you will be moving out and start the new life together. Other than that, spending more time with her and go out more. Do something simple like picnic outside, movies or just hang out together.

[Willallen25 7]

Thank you all so much. I honestly feel it will get better. Things just aren't the way she expected and I can understand her. That's why I listen to her vent and other things. I even try to bring her family every now and then, but it can do so much. Either way I feel She shouldn't give up. I think I'm running out of things to tell her as She tells me her patience is running out. I'll keep trying as I do love her. 

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

2 minutes ago, Willallen25 said:

Thank you all so much. I honestly feel it will get better. Things just aren't the way she expected and I can understand her. That's why I listen to her vent and other things. I even try to bring her family every now and then, but it can do so much. Either way I feel She shouldn't give up. I think I'm running out of things to tell her as She tells me her patience is running out. I'll keep trying as I do love her. 

It will get better by time. Yes, she shouldn't give up. Now, her emotion controlled everything, that is why she said all of that. Once she can handle her emotion, things will be getting better and she will realize that she shouldn't ever mention about give up. Good luck with your journey and wish the best for both of you! 

 

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

Hi my husband also is from Haiti and the beginning was extremely hard- he never left Haiti before-he came in the winter- didn't drive and wasn't able to work and sat inside all winter. He was extremely isolated which is something he wasn't use to. Almost three years later we still live with my parents because we are saving to buy a house but my husband has gotten a job, gotten a drivers license, finished his HS education and started college. Looking back he has accomplished a lot and it wasn't easy but was worth it. If you guys love each other and are in it for the right reason you will make it work. See if you can connect her to anything Haitian in your area so she has people to relate to and to be busy. I really think keeping busy is important to make the time go by especially when she can not work and be more independent.

[Ontarkie 14,236]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from K1 P&P - As similar topics are discussed here.~~

[Willallen25 7]

I think one thing that would help is if we have our own place no matter what it is. She only lived with her Mom for 30 years and was very independent. She feels like She took a step back with everything. She does get emotional when She begins her period. It's tough, as right now She hardly speaks to me. 

 

Also She isn't one to seek advice from anyone. I still am open to advice, but She isn't regardless of who the person is. If someone just starts it on their own it's one thing, if I have a discussion with another couple from her family She still doesn't like it. She only doesn't mind if She tells people things about myself and/or family. 

 

If I showed this topic to her She would really be upset. 

Edited December 30, 2017 by Willallen25
addition

[payxibka 10,045]

7 hours ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

It will get better by time. Yes, she shouldn't give up. Now, her emotion controlled everything, that is why she said all of that. Once she can handle her emotion, things will be getting better and she will realize that she shouldn't ever mention about give up. Good luck with your journey and wish the best for both of you! 

 

Maybe..  My ex wife never got over it.