Any Help is greatly appreciated

[MeAlone 161]

2 minutes ago, August97 said:

It's really unfair how the laws are for the immigrant. All they have to do is lie and claim abuse and get to keep their status. However, the US citizen really doesn't have any recourse. Thank you so much for your assistance. I am going to start putting all this together. Last night I was feeling helpless and that I just had to let him stay here and get away with this. But your advice has inspired me. Thank you. 

I went through similar, maybe worse situation, I said to myself now it's time to get strong and smart after he played me for more than 1 year and half, I got the Annulment.

Don't expect the Immigration to deport him or take his green card, they usually are slow or do nothing but do it for YOUR LIFE! You did all correct and you were badly used, now it's time to do all correct again and protecting yourself

[Villanelle 4,122]

13 hours ago, August97 said:

I honestly believe he's trying to file the VAWA because he keeps saying he's meeting with lawyers etc. He had one of his slime ball friends he made in the shelter get on the phone talking mess to me saying I'm the one going to get in trouble because I'm responsible for him etc. A very large hospital bill came to my house the other day for him. When I asked he said he'll explain in person but of course he flip flops and says he can't meet me because he's afraid. He also said I'm having people follow him and Track his phone and his life is in danger etc. He said the other day he went to the police station to file a report on whoever is tracking him. I said did you lie and tell them it was me and he said no I told them I don't know who it is. He also always says you're responsible for me so remember if anything happens to me you're responsible. He does have a history of mental illness but I think he's well aware of what he's doing and the game he's playing.

 

You know I just looked at your timeline and previous thread. Just for clarification- he entered on a CR visa. So as stated in your other thread he became an LPR upon entry. He just needs to pay the fee and get his conditional GC. Theres nothing you can do about that. He doesnt need "VAWA" he needs to remove conditions on his card. If you guys dont reconcile in the next 2 years he can file it with the divorce decree or under extreme cruelty (a form of VAWA). Just wanted to be clear he doesnt need VAWA (360) but rather the 751 with cruelty waiver.

 

He may not know this. So he may be under the impression he needs to apply for a GC, he may know he just needs to remove conditions. Who knows...But the advice still stands about not being alone with him. The same concept of being accused of domestic violence falsely still applies whether he needs it for the VAWA 360 or the 751 waiver.

 

Theres only one thing you can do that will impact his ability to stay in the US. Or rather 2... One is filing and getting an annulment based on FRAUD. It must be based on fraud. That will prevent him from being able to ROC however he can probably remain in the US on his conditional GC for the full 2 years. Its just when it comes time to ROC and he shows them the annulment based in fraud that he will be denied and have to leave. If you do get an annulement based in fraud you can send it to USCIS but I dont know if they will take action on it and order him removed or wait until he applies for ROC.

 

The second thing you can do is file for divorce. It is preferable if you can divorce based on grounds that will work against him like fraud or abandonment. You also need to make sure you hold firm to the dates as they happened. The shorter the period of marriage before separation the harder it is to ROC. You were only together a short time. Apx 2 weeks. Hold firm to having those dates be in the divorce decree. It would be worth it for you to fight it out and insist on a finding of fault (his) in the divorce however if you dont have the strength for that then a mutual 'irreconcilable differences' wont have the same immigration impact but would still be an uphill battle for him. 

 

Annulments are possible even as a DIY however they are hard to obtain. Speak with a local attny to see what options you have and their opinion on its success. Again the thing I would be most worried about is his lack of knowledge about the process and being misinformed or informed of fraudulent paths he may attempt a DV charge against you to help his case. Stop all contact with him for your own sake. Seek legal aid if you can not afford an attny. Get free consults and file on your own if you cant find any pro bono assistance. The county clerk can provide you with all the forms you need and answer questions about the process. Sorry this has happened to you but be strong and take care of yourself. 

 

As for the medical bills, yes you are technically responsible via the 864 but just so you know its rarely enforced. The gov has found it costs more to collect from sponsors then they actually collect so no one attempts to collect on it. There is also the risk he can sue you for support under the 864. Theres a thread in this subforum on that that you can read through. He would have to be very educated to do such and Im not sure he is. An annulement based on fraud is your best bet to ensure he has to leave the country but a quick filing of divorce with it being his fault can also ensure he can not remain. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask.

 

Happy Holidays. 

[C-ma'am 684]

He came here on a CR1 one, correct?  GC was already granted even he doesn't have it in his hand. So VAWA does not apply.

 

 

[Mina90 134]

58 minutes ago, August97 said:

I blocked him last night because I just couldn't take it anymore. I blocked his mom too. She kept saying I need to try harder etc. and that I hurt his feelings etc. Nothing about what he did of course it's all my fault. 

 

Before I blocked them I uninstalled WhatsApp.  Well, I reinstalled it later that night and he had left me 25 messages over a span of 3 hours. I couldn't see that they said I got an error message, something about the messages won't download until he comes back online.  After that I blocked him and uninstalled the app. I also closed all my social media accounts so he cannot contact me and also blocked him on my phone. 

This is good that you blocked him and his mother.

 

I had an ex who was crazy to the point of stalking me and threatening me and my family. I got police involved, cut that person completely out, deleted all my accounts he knew about, changed my phone number and so on. That was nearly a decade ago, no problems since. Although, in my case I wasn't married to him. 

 

Do you have any family/friends you trust for support? It's beneficial to have mental support and well as people around you who can help you get through this.

 

Edited December 29, 2017 by Mina90

[MeAlone 161]

8 minutes ago, Damara said:

 

You know I just looked at your timeline and previous thread. Just for clarification- he entered on a CR visa. So as stated in your other thread he became an LPR upon entry. He just needs to pay the fee and get his conditional GC. Theres nothing you can do about that. He doesnt need "VAWA" he needs to remove conditions on his card. If you guys dont reconcile in the next 2 years he can file it with the divorce decree or under extreme cruelty (a form of VAWA). Just wanted to be clear he doesnt need VAWA (360) but rather the 751 with cruelty waiver.

 

He may not know this. So he may be under the impression he needs to apply for a GC, he may know he just needs to remove conditions. Who knows...But the advice still stands about not being alone with him. The same concept of being accused of domestic violence falsely still applies whether he needs it for the VAWA 360 or the 751 waiver.

 

Theres only one thing you can do that will impact his ability to stay in the US. Or rather 2... One is filing and getting an annulment based on FRAUD. It must be based on fraud. That will prevent him from being able to ROC however he can probably remain in the US on his conditional GC for the full 2 years. Its just when it comes time to ROC and he shows them the annulment based in fraud that he will be denied and have to leave. If you do get an annulement based in fraud you can send it to USCIS but I dont know if they will take action on it and order him removed or wait until he applies for ROC.

 

The second thing you can do is file for divorce. It is preferable if you can divorce based on grounds that will work against him like fraud or abandonment. You also need to make sure you hold firm to the dates as they happened. The shorter the period of marriage before separation the harder it is to ROC. You were only together a short time. Apx 2 weeks. Hold firm to having those dates be in the divorce decree. It would be worth it for you to fight it out and insist on a finding of fault (his) in the divorce however if you dont have the strength for that then a mutual 'irreconcilable differences' wont have the same immigration impact but would still be an uphill battle for him. 

 

Annulments are possible even as a DIY however they are hard to obtain. Speak with a local attny to see what options you have and their opinion on its success. Again the thing I would be most worried about is his lack of knowledge about the process and being misinformed or informed of fraudulent paths he may attempt a DV charge against you to help his case. Stop all contact with him for your own sake. Seek legal aid if you can not afford an attny. Get free consults and file on your own if you cant find any pro bono assistance. The county clerk can provide you with all the forms you need and answer questions about the process. Sorry this has happened to you but be strong and take care of yourself. 

 

As for the medical bills, yes you are technically responsible via the 864 but just so you know its rarely enforced. The gov has found it costs more to collect from sponsors then they actually collect so no one attempts to collect on it. There is also the risk he can sue you for support under the 864. Theres a thread in this subforum on that that you can read through. He would have to be very educated to do such and Im not sure he is. An annulement based on fraud is your best bet to ensure he has to leave the country but a quick filing of divorce with it being his fault can also ensure he can not remain. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask.

 

Happy Holidays. 

It's all correct and all great advice

[Voided 55]

4 minutes ago, Damara said:

 

You know I just looked at your timeline and previous thread. Just for clarification- he entered on a CR visa. So as stated in your other thread he became an LPR upon entry. He just needs to pay the fee and get his conditional GC. Theres nothing you can do about that. He doesnt need "VAWA" he needs to remove conditions on his card. If you guys dont reconcile in the next 2 years he can file it with the divorce decree or under extreme cruelty (a form of VAWA). Just wanted to be clear he doesnt need VAWA (360) but rather the 751 with cruelty waiver.

 

He may not know this. So he may be under the impression he needs to apply for a GC, he may know he just needs to remove conditions. Who knows...But the advice still stands about not being alone with him. The same concept of being accused of domestic violence falsely still applies whether he needs it for the VAWA 360 or the 751 waiver.

 

Theres only one thing you can do that will impact his ability to stay in the US. Or rather 2... One is filing and getting an annulment based on FRAUD. It must be based on fraud. That will prevent him from being able to ROC however he can probably remain in the US on his conditional GC for the full 2 years. Its just when it comes time to ROC and he shows them the annulment based in fraud that he will be denied and have to leave. If you do get an annulement based in fraud you can send it to USCIS but I dont know if they will take action on it and order him removed or wait until he applies for ROC.

 

The second thing you can do is file for divorce. It is preferable if you can divorce based on grounds that will work against him like fraud or abandonment. You also need to make sure you hold firm to the dates as they happened. The shorter the period of marriage before separation the harder it is to ROC. You were only together a short time. Apx 2 weeks. Hold firm to having those dates be in the divorce decree. It would be worth it for you to fight it out and insist on a finding of fault (his) in the divorce however if you dont have the strength for that then a mutual 'irreconcilable differences' wont have the same immigration impact but would still be an uphill battle for him. 

 

Annulments are possible even as a DIY however they are hard to obtain. Speak with a local attny to see what options you have and their opinion on its success. Again the thing I would be most worried about is his lack of knowledge about the process and being misinformed or informed of fraudulent paths he may attempt a DV charge against you to help his case. Stop all contact with him for your own sake. Seek legal aid if you can not afford an attny. Get free consults and file on your own if you cant find any pro bono assistance. The county clerk can provide you with all the forms you need and answer questions about the process. Sorry this has happened to you but be strong and take care of yourself. 

 

As for the medical bills, yes you are technically responsible via the 864 but just so you know its rarely enforced. The gov has found it costs more to collect from sponsors then they actually collect so no one attempts to collect on it. There is also the risk he can sue you for support under the 864. Theres a thread in this subforum on that that you can read through. He would have to be very educated to do such and Im not sure he is. An annulement based on fraud is your best bet to ensure he has to leave the country but a quick filing of divorce with it being his fault can also ensure he can not remain. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask.

 

Happy Holidays. 

Thank you so much for this information. He thinks he is outsmarting me but he doesn't know the ropes. Will he find them? Maybe as he has people helping him and he keeps referencing calling immigration or speaking with lawyers to find out what his rights are. 

[MeAlone 161]

his medical bills, if you didn't sign for him at the hospital or doctor office, it's not collected from you unless he sues you for Affidavit of Support

[MeAlone 161]

Only one thing I disagree, stopping all communication with them, prevents you from getting the evidence in writing, in screenshots

[Voided 55]

8 minutes ago, C-ma'am said:

He came here on a CR1 one, correct?  GC was already granted even he doesn't have it in his hand. So VAWA does not apply.

 

 

Yes CR1. No he doesn't have it in hand. I just received a notice in the mail about it 2 days ago. I didn't tell him though. 

 

When he was lying saying he wanted to reconcile he asked me to either go with him to immigration or write a letter stating there was no fraud just a misunderstanding. I said I would write the letter only after he returned. He said well in that case you don't trust me so I can never return. I said I see what you're doing you just want me to write the letter to ensure your status isn't in jeopardy. It's all about the green card. 

[MeAlone 161]

Try to get in screenshots, you never hurt him or did anything wrong, he is bipolar and accusing you falsely, it's you who is afraid of him, then maybe based on screenshots also get the protective order from him

[Voided 55]

5 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Try to get in screenshots, you never hurt him or did anything wrong, he is bipolar and accusing you falsely, it's you who is afraid of him, then maybe based on screenshots also get the protective order from him

One night when he was acting strangely I did tell him don't come anywhere near my home because he still has my keys. I was afraid as I have a small daughter.  To try to scare him I said if he tried to come in there my brother and son would beat him up. But it was just talk because I myself was afraid. So now he tries to use that also. But he up and left before that happened. But of course that didn't help and my son is mad at me for saying that and it was stupid I shouldn't have.  However at that moment I was hurt and  afraid as his mom was saying it sounded like he was in a mental crisis and that I needed to call someone and get him help etc.  

[LionessDeon 2,060]

1 hour ago, MeAlone said:

Start chatting how much do you love him, you miss him, you wish your marriage work but you are afraid of his snapping moods and go about the same, ask questions about his bipolar, etc.

 

25 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Only one thing I disagree, stopping all communication with them, prevents you from getting the evidence in writing, in screenshots

I'm going to speak up and say I don't agree with this game playing.  It doesn't sound safe doing that with an unstable person.  It also sounds like alot of drama.   I'm not sure it's even necessary.  I would consult with a divorce attorney regarding your options and necessary evidence collection.  You can notify USCIS but he's here now and able to secure a GC so don't spin your wheels with that too much.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

It all looked like fraud from the posts until you mentioned his depression and bipolar disorder.
Divorce, but why go further in turning him in for fraud if you have no evidence ? 
A mood disorder can certainly cause this odd behavior and his fears of you may be very real to him even though they may not be valid.
You threatened to have him beat up so yeah that is an indication he is afraid and has illusions of being tracked.
He needs medical help.
Divorce, move on and leave him alone rather than all this trying to entrap him for any evidence.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

4 minutes ago, LionessDeon said:

 

I'm going to speak up and say I don't agree with this game playing.  It doesn't sound safe doing that with an unstable person.  It also sounds like alot of drama.   I'm not sure it's even necessary.  I would consult with a divorce attorney regarding your options and necessary evidence collection.  You can notify USCIS but he's here now and able to secure a GC so don't spin your wheels with that too much.

We posted this at about the same time and I totally agree that the game playing is just wrong in this case.

[Boiler 45,476]

For those crying annulment they have been married for 18 months.

 

I know annulment is very popular on VJ, but come on.

 

Sounds he just needs to remove conditions with a Divorce Waiver.

 

I 864 will of course continue.