Any Help is greatly appreciated

[Voided 55]

For those not familiar with my situation here's a breakdown:

 

Husband entered 11/18/2017

Moved in with me 11/19/2017

Left me 12/9/2017

 

I have no idea where he's at other than he is staying at a men's shelter in Oakland, CA. I found that out by accident when he was facetiming me one night and ran outside to help break up an altercation. He stood in front of the building and I was able to see the sign partially. 

 

He made an unannounced visit to my job on 12/20/2017 to apologize and say he wants to reconcile.  However, it's all bull. Since he has refused any contact with me. Twice he has said we will meet then when the time comes he acts cold and tells me he doesn't trust me, the marriage is over etc. I want to try to file an annulment based on fraud or divorce. Either way, he needs to be served. I called a process server and he said he hasn't been here long enough to create a trail so finding him is going to be really difficult. Does anyone have any advice for me? 

 

He had said he was going home, even asked me to help by his ticket.  But, anything to do with meeting me he refuses claiming he's afraid and doesn't trust me etc. He flip flops back and forth and now I see it's a game probably just to prolong his time here while he figures out what to do next. Someone has to be helping him. 

Edited December 28, 2017 by August97

[Ontarkie 14,535]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from IR1/CR1 P&P~~

[Crazy Cat 42,514]

What about service by publication?  I'm not an expert, but I think there is a way to serve divorce papers when you can't locate your spouse.

 

http://www.courts.ca.gov/20213.htm

[Voided 55]

3 minutes ago, missileman said:

What about service by publication?  I'm not an expert, but I think there is a way to serve divorce papers when you can't locate your spouse.

 

http://www.courts.ca.gov/20213.htm

Thank you so much. I will look into this. 

[Crazy Cat 42,514]

24 minutes ago, August97 said:

Thank you so much. I will look into this. 

Good Luck!  Life is too short to be in a miserable relationship....

[Villanelle 4,122]

I am not familiar with your situation but I do want to offer you some advice.

 

Do not meet up with or be alone with this man. Based on what you said (hes in a shelter and looking for immigration options) he is highly likely to try to file for VAWA (a path for abused immigrants to get a GC with out the help of the USC/LPR spouse),. They have people at shelters that help file these forms. Also his verbal claims of "being afraid" lead me to believe he is trying to set up a VAWA claim. In order to file VAWA and be approved he has to show physical or mental abuse. So again it is recommended to never be alone with the immigrant where they can stage an injury and contact the police and report you falsely for domestic violence. If he tries to claim mental abuse (he can do this fraudulently and many do) he just needs a psych eval. You shouldnt worry too much about whether he tries to apply for VAWA or not as it doesnt impact you. But if he tries to set you up for domestic violence it will impact you severely. 

 

File for divorce and write him out of your life as a mistake. 

[Voided 55]

3 hours ago, Damara said:

I am not familiar with your situation but I do want to offer you some advice.

 

Do not meet up with or be alone with this man. Based on what you said (hes in a shelter and looking for immigration options) he is highly likely to try to file for VAWA (a path for abused immigrants to get a GC with out the help of the USC/LPR spouse),. They have people at shelters that help file these forms. Also his verbal claims of "being afraid" lead me to believe he is trying to set up a VAWA claim. In order to file VAWA and be approved he has to show physical or mental abuse. So again it is recommended to never be alone with the immigrant where they can stage an injury and contact the police and report you falsely for domestic violence. If he tries to claim mental abuse (he can do this fraudulently and many do) he just needs a psych eval. You shouldnt worry too much about whether he tries to apply for VAWA or not as it doesnt impact you. But if he tries to set you up for domestic violence it will impact you severely. 

 

File for divorce and write him out of your life as a mistake. 

I honestly believe he's trying to file the VAWA because he keeps saying he's meeting with lawyers etc. He had one of his slime ball friends he made in the shelter get on the phone talking mess to me saying I'm the one going to get in trouble because I'm responsible for him etc. A very large hospital bill came to my house the other day for him. When I asked he said he'll explain in person but of course he flip flops and says he can't meet me because he's afraid. He also said I'm having people follow him and Track his phone and his life is in danger etc. He said the other day he went to the police station to file a report on whoever is tracking him. I said did you lie and tell them it was me and he said no I told them I don't know who it is. He also always says you're responsible for me so remember if anything happens to me you're responsible. He does have a history of mental illness but I think he's well aware of what he's doing and the game he's playing.

[Mina90 134]

10 hours ago, August97 said:

I honestly believe he's trying to file the VAWA because he keeps saying he's meeting with lawyers etc. He had one of his slime ball friends he made in the shelter get on the phone talking mess to me saying I'm the one going to get in trouble because I'm responsible for him etc. A very large hospital bill came to my house the other day for him. When I asked he said he'll explain in person but of course he flip flops and says he can't meet me because he's afraid. He also said I'm having people follow him and Track his phone and his life is in danger etc. He said the other day he went to the police station to file a report on whoever is tracking him. I said did you lie and tell them it was me and he said no I told them I don't know who it is. He also always says you're responsible for me so remember if anything happens to me you're responsible. He does have a history of mental illness but I think he's well aware of what he's doing and the game he's playing.

Others have given good advice, follow them.

 

He is trying to manipulate you. Do NOT meet him alone. Stop contact with him right now, don't text him, don't call him, don't skype him. It is for your safety and well-being that you stop all form of communication with him. If you keep giving him opportunities to speak to you and meet with you, he may eventually get his way if he is trying to file for VAWA. Get the divorce in the works and then RUN as fast as you can away from this person. 

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

Annulments take too long. File for divorce immediately.

[MeAlone 161]

True, as others advised you, do not meet him alone but text him or message him all about you love him and wish him back, all about you don't understand what's going on and all about you were so nice to him always and see if he makes a mistake to tell you he doesn't love you, he needs his papers, he married you for papers, etc. In my case it worked and I got the evidence in messaging. Even if you don't have any evidence in messaging, file the annulment, file yourself but attached the notary signature letter stating how weird it happened and you believe he married you for papers only and you are asking for Annulment by Fraud. It's not true the Annulment takes more time than a Divorce if you file by yourself, if you get a lawyer, it will cost you more time and money. Serve him by publication, check you state rules but in your case it's easy, he is not abroad, so check which local newspaper publish divorce things and publish your Annulment. Also you file the Annulment and the judge will see if they grant you the annulment or the divorce, it's 1 application and you get either one, all depends if you write well your explanation letter why you believe the annulment should be done in your case

[MeAlone 161]

The publication usually doesn't specify if it's the divorce or annulment, it says just you've been sued and all case number, etc. You even can serve him by messaging sending him the publication picture for his information, I did in Facebook messages for to be sure he was served and got screenshot of his reaction attaching it to my annulment file. It hurts waiting so long for to bring your husband here and get this but now you need to protect yourself. Also make a notarized letter for USCIS saying you suspect the fraud and asking to pull out your affidavit of support, send it by mail and make the infopass giving the same in person. Do USCIS thing now, you even can send this letter about the possible Fraud to US embassy in his country, let them know how the people is playing the system

Edited December 29, 2017 by MeAlone
typo errors

[Voided 55]

2 hours ago, Mina90 said:

Others have given good advice, follow them.

 

He is trying to manipulate you. Do NOT meet him alone. Stop contact with him right now, don't text him, don't call him, don't skype him. It is for your safety and well-being that you stop all form of communication with him. If you keep giving him opportunities to speak to you and meet with you, he may eventually get his way if he is trying to file for VAWA. Get the divorce in the works and then RUN as fast as you can away from this person. 

I blocked him last night because I just couldn't take it anymore. I blocked his mom too. She kept saying I need to try harder etc. and that I hurt his feelings etc. Nothing about what he did of course it's all my fault. 

 

Before I blocked them I uninstalled WhatsApp.  Well, I reinstalled it later that night and he had left me 25 messages over a span of 3 hours. I couldn't see that they said I got an error message, something about the messages won't download until he comes back online.  After that I blocked him and uninstalled the app. I also closed all my social media accounts so he cannot contact me and also blocked him on my phone. 

[Voided 55]

2 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

The publication usually doesn't specify if it's the divorce or annulment, it says just you've been sued and all case number, etc. You even can serve him by messaging sending him the publication picture for his information, I did in Facebook messages for to be sure he was served and got screenshot of his reaction attaching it to my annulment file. It hurts waiting so long for to bring your husband here and get this but now you need to protect yourself. Also make a notarized letter for USCIS saying you suspect the fraud and asking to pull out your affidavit of support, send it by mail and make the infopass giving the same in person. Do USCIS thing now, you even can send this letter about the possible Fraud to US embassy in his country, let them know how the people is playing the system

I sent an email to USCIS Fraud tip line. But yes, I think I should send a letter as well.  I also inquired about pulling the affidavit of support but was told since he entered the country I cannot revoke it? I keep checking on InfoPass appointments and there are none in my area. Let me check the website now. 

[MeAlone 161]

It hurts but now it's time you protect yourself and be smart. He played with your best feelings and our Immigration law, do what needs to be done. Even if you get just a simple divorce, you let the Immigration know, they register all information and he will get troubles at least in his citizenship application or bringing another person as fiancee or wife. And you will be free from this fake marriage. To me the Annulment took a little more than 3 months but he was already abroad and it took time to realize how to serve him

[MeAlone 161]

Wrong. Install whatsapp again, reopen your facebook, chat with them but all how you wish this marriage to work and see if you can get more evidence he married you by papers. If they text you so much, they will make a mistake to tell you something but you all correct and loving, trying to make your marriage work