Renew tourist visa....fiance... sticky situation. Contact embassy? Need advice

[Kensie05 0]

First I apologize for the length. So I'm an American woman late 30s, no kids, who started a friendship with a man in the middle east when I visited years back. After 2 years of becoming very best friends, he applied to get a tourist visa & was denied. I helped him to reapply and correctly read & fill out form. He got approved. That was 5 yrs ago. He has since visited me here once a year & I've gone there & our relationship has become more than engagement/informal religious ceremony there marriage. (He told me & my family repeatedly that he wants a life with me, will always be with me & that he & his first wife have been estranged & were in proceedings of divorce). Years have gone by now & nothing has changed. Everytime I try to move on he swears he will fix the situation, he pops up here but then doesn't fix our situation or resolve his. Here is where we are now. 

 

He wants to renew his tourist visa that expired last week Dec '17. His employment/background/purpose/etc on his original tourist application have obviously changed since then. He is now self employed instead of a stable salaried worker, he is now engaged/informally religious married to me for 4 years and still has not officially divorced his first wife there. When he comes here to the US he pops up when he feels like it, leaves when he feels like it. He spends most of his trip buying supplies & stuff for his business back home instead of with me. He also dodges specific deadlines about us living together, he hides from most of his family that he engaged me. When I leave him he constantly verbally sets a plan of when we will see each other/live together and he never follows through. He only pops up in the US when he needs something for his business and my complaining coincide, so for years now, despite we talk almost daily, I spend/spent most of the year(s) & holidays alone & I never know when we will see each other next, much less when my life with him will be settled. We have had related problems with this limbo as you can imagine and there is no end in sight. The distance apart and not knowing his marital intention as he will say anything necessary in any conversation to pacify me as I continue to be tied to him, be his escape from his life there when he feels like it & show him/acclimate him around the US, has all seriously caused me extreme stress & major health problems. He has even passed an illness to me which makes me feel like I have to stay.

 

I told him not to proceed to renew the tourist visa until we figure out where we stand as a couple or not. And if we decide to be/remain together as a normal spouse & live together in one house & openly then I will proceed to file whats appropriate to bring him as a fiance/spouse as the goverment suggests. I will even move there.

 

He said he promises that he will not go to apply for the renewal & will wait until we do it as a couple which I believe is a lie honestly.  Then he says he will go to the interview and tell them he is with an American woman now and still request a tourist visa. Then he said he wont go at all to renew. He is there in his country & I am here so I dont know what to do. My question is if he goes behind my back and attempts to apply/interview for a tourist visa renewal under his orginal application wouldnt that be considered lying since he now is engaged/informally married to an American while still married there? Or that he is not a salaried employee anymore or that he comes here to buy stuff for his business back home but is supposed to be a tourist. Is that even allowed? I feel like if he proceeds to attempt to renew and we later apply for a fiance or spousal visa it will look like he/we withheld info.

 

Can I get in trouble for him insisting to do the renewal under his old terms if I am in a relationship with him now? I honestly feel like he shouldnt be able to renew until he clears up his background/intention. I do not need any government problems on top of my health or personal problems I have from this.

 

Should I try to contact the embassy there and tell them that I have a relationship with this person and I feel he may apply for a renewal and he may conceal that? Can that make things better/worse? I honestly just dont know what to do. I just feel worried because I dont know what he's intending/doing/saying, how it may adversely affect me or how to protect myself. Any constructive advice or direction would be great.

 

Do the embassies check or request applicants background info again when they apply for renewals?

 

Is he likely to get renewed?

[purplepink 264]

Oh wow.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I hope you get through this. 

From the sound of it, he won't leave his current wife.

Islamically (if he is in a muslim country) he is allowed to have 4 wives.

He is probably still religiously and officially married to his first still.  

 

He sounds like a complete jerk to be honest!

Wouldn't be surprised if he was in it just for entry to the states.

He will try to do it behind your back, esp if you hesitate or his woo-ing doesn't work on you anymore.

 

Here is where you can find more information on how to report scams:

 

https://www.uscis.gov/avoid-scams/applicants 

 

• Reporting immigration services scams

 

 

Maybe someone here has a better answer/resource than me.

 

But I tried. 

 

Goodluck! 

Edited December 27, 2017 by purplepink

[gregcrs2 1,778]

I think you already know all the answers to your questions.  You just have to accept the reality of the situation.  Sorry you spent so much time and emotion on a relationship that will go nowhere.

[NoProblem 69]

Seems like he has two wives one there and one here in the US (or one formal and one informal).  Its convenient for him to be in a relationship with you since he visits the US for his business and gets to have free accommodation as well as pleasure of your company.  Per my understanding its ok for him to come here and buy stuff for his business overseas on a

 B1/B2 visa.

 

27 minutes ago, Kensie05 said:

He has even passed an illness to me which makes me feel like I have to stay

This is not good at all.  If this is some sort of STD that he knew about then he should not have had any contact with you.  There are severe consequences of harming someone intentionally both in this life and the afterlife in Islamic faith and there are no free bailouts so if he knew something and did not tell you then he is not really being honest.  He may have no intentions of divorcing his first wife.  Talk to his first wife if you can somehow to be certain.

 

37 minutes ago, Kensie05 said:

My question is if he goes behind my back and attempts to apply/interview for a tourist visa renewal under his orginal application wouldnt that be considered lying since he now is engaged/informally married to an American while still married there

informally married is verbal marriage.  I am not sure how the consulate would react later if they come to know he withheld this information from them.  This can impact his future K-1 or Marriage visa. 

Are you sure you want to be with him at this point?  You have invested considerable portion of your life in him so its hard to part.  Make informed decisions and pray for help and direction from the Almighty.

41 minutes ago, Kensie05 said:

Should I try to contact the embassy there and tell them that I have a relationship with this person and I feel he may apply for a renewal and he may conceal that

Difficult question.  Its easy if you plan on parting with him.

 

[Boiler 46,102]

Can you be engaged to somebody when you are married to somebody else?

 

I assume not.

 

Anyway whatever the nature of your relationship is precisely it is not relevant as far as any application he may make for a B1/2 so the issue is moot. Basically none of your business.

[Crazy Cat 42,288]

Just my opinion (based on what you posted)

  1.  Chances of you and him ever living in the US as husband and wife=0%

  2.  Chances of him getting visitor visa if he states "I am with an American woman now"=0%

  3.  Chances of you being able to assist him in any way to renew his visa=0%

  4.  Chances of him being honest with you=0%

 

My advise is to cut your ties and move on with your life.....

 

Edited December 27, 2017 by missileman

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

A tourist visa does not tie him to you. He can apply for another tourist visa, but there are no guarantees he'd be issued one.

You have no official role in his B2 visa application. 

[Boiler 46,102]

He applies for a Tourist Visa, he is Married, says so on his application, why would he get specifically asked about a USC love (or whatever) interest?

 

Interview usually last 2 minutes, why on earth would that come up?

[az2014 381]

He's not that into you.

 

Drop him, I'm sure you can do a lot better.

 

And his tourist visa application has nothing to do with you.

 

Cut off all contact and move forward with your life.

[SusieQQQ 11,587]

You know what you need to do. A relationship where you are left hanging for scraps when he feels like throwing them to you, is not a relationship. You deserve better. Break it off with him. Let him pursue his visa intentions or not, without becoming involved. Change your phone number etc if you need to. Cut him loose and leave him loose.  Hope you are able to move on, find peace, and find someone who deserves you.

 

 

[JFH 12,191]

He won't be renewing his tourist visa. It'll be a new application. He will have to complete the form from scratch. If he chooses to lie about his employment situation or living arrangements, that's up to him. The form does ask about family members in the USA. He can legitimately answer "no" to this as you are not in any formal or legal relationship. Engaged is not a legal status. In answer to an earlier question, yes, you can be engaged whilst married to someone else since engaged is just a promise to marry. It's not legally binding. 

  

Calling the embassy will do no good. You cannot influence his visa application. You will just look like a neurotic spurned lover. They do not act on such phone calls. Otherwise exes all over the world will be on the phones to the various embsssies trying to stop former partners from traveling, just out of spite. 

 

Ask yourself what you actually get from this relationship. I think you know the answer already. I'd move on if I were you. Plenty of other fish in the sea. 

[milimelo 4,554]

4 hours ago, JFH said:

He won't be renewing his tourist visa. It'll be a new application. He will have to complete the form from scratch. If he chooses to lie about his employment situation or living arrangements, that's up to him. The form does ask about family members in the USA. He can legitimately answer "no" to this as you are not in any formal or legal relationship. Engaged is not a legal status. In answer to an earlier question, yes, you can be engaged whilst married to someone else since engaged is just a promise to marry. It's not legally binding. 

  

Calling the embassy will do no good. You cannot influence his visa application. You will just look like a neurotic spurned lover. They do not act on such phone calls. Otherwise exes all over the world will be on the phones to the various embsssies trying to stop former partners from traveling, just out of spite. 

 

Ask yourself what you actually get from this relationship. I think you know the answer already. I'd move on if I were you. Plenty of other fish in the sea. 

There's a fiancé option under relatives in the US. Wonder what happens if he lists his wife (as he is married) and the OP as she's engaged to him too. 

 

Op, walk away. If you want to hurt his chances of a new visa it's a quick email to consular - emails are on the web of the embassy. 

[Boiler 46,102]

I do not know the current version but it used to ask about immediate relatives, and as has been mentioned engaged is such a nebulous term wonder how that could be defined.

 

Especially when one party may consider themselves engaged and the other does not.

[TNJ17 1,329]

Yeah like others said whatever you do won’t affect his new tourist visa. He can’t renew it. He needs to apply for a new one. He’s gonna need to show strong ties to his home country in order to get one. Saying he is engaged to you will most likely hurt his chances of getting a tourist visa because they might think he’s trying to bypass all the work and get into the country marry you and adjust status. You also won’t be able to file for him for either fiancé or spousal visas because he needs to be free to marry you which by being married to someone else he is not. Regardless of what is allowed in his home country. USCIS will deny any petition if he’s not fully and officially divorced. 

 

Now, I know you didn’t ask about our personal opinions but I feel like I should because so many people get wronged in these procedures. It honestly sounds like this guy is using you for entry into the US. When you are in a relationship, long distance as you are, with someone and you visit them you wanna spend all your time with them and their families. That’s a red flag for me right there when you barely see him as it is. Be smart and follow your instincts. 

[TNJ17 1,329]

There was someone else here on VJ who was slightly in the same situation as you. Might be good to connect.