Wanting to go back after K1 visa marriage, I don't want to live in US

[bakphx1 789]

I would say like others to give it time after getting your AOS.  You can always leave that later, but if you get home and regret leaving, you can't come back.  Having lived away from home more than once, I can tell you that around four months is the worst time, but you do feel better later.  But being able to live with employment, and other things will help a lot. 

[Marieke H 2,512]

Personally, I would give it some time. I've been very miserable and homesick since I moved here, to the point where my husband suggested that maybe I should move back (moving back together isn't an option because of his daughter here). He wants me here, but he mostly wants me to be happy.

I've slowly started to feel more at home here, and now that I found an amazing job here, I feel much better.

Of course, if the relationship isn't working out, that's a different story. So you need to figure out exactly what it is that's bothering you.

[little immigrant 801]

Which country are you from? 

[kassegn 15]

I belive it comes to the support you need to have. It takes a lot to overcome the homesickness, finding friends and family as a support. It’s not also fair for the girl who went through to get through the process. You need to work this out, also communicate with her. Also both of you need to do some major sacrifice to do. Wish you luck and it’s not easy but it can be done 

[JC&BS 75]

You sound homesick. Visit your home country several times a year with your wife. Also, maybe move to a new region of America ? The cultures change. For example, the south is different from the west coast.

[Gingerspike 55]

You know it's not easy to move to a whole different country and you should've prepared yourself for that before diving yourself to marrying your spouse and flaking out when you realize it's too difficult and adjust here. 

 

I, too, had to go through that for almost a year. I had to endure crying days while my husband is at work everyday. I also told my husband that I wanted to go home and I have nothing to do here. But, as K1 visa holders, we married our loved ones to live with them here, right? It's not only about ourselves, it's about us building our lives together with our spouses. So, if your priority right now is to go home coz you're homesick, depress, etc, by all means, go. You're not ready to be an adult and face "uncharted" territory with your spouse. Heck, I was a princess back in our country and had maids, employees, and drivers to my bidding and when I moved here, it was a nightmare for me. But, I didn't let that empower me. My priorities were I had to assimilate as soon as I can and get my head out in this new world that I'm living in. You don't have special circumstance here. Be a man or go home. 

 

 

[mallafri76 1,012]

Have you guys thought about moving to a third country, somewhere you can both be happy? Why don’t you guys sit down and talk through what you both want out of life, a pro and con list of countries that fit the bill and is available for you both to move to. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for love.

[Cheschirecat 176]

16 hours ago, cornel.orlat said:

I got here on a k1 visa and got married to the person I love but I realised I simply cannot live here and abandon my country. I feel depressed, wake up at night and I just want to go back. My wife doesn't understand, she says I don't love her, we had this discussion even before marriage and I still tried to make it work. At the moment she doesn't know that I truly don't want to stay but how do I go on about this? She doesn't want to move to my country and if we file for divorce  I saw it takes more than 3 months to even have the case looked at. I can't live here in shame and guilt with her until it gets taken care of.

She rented an apartment just so that we can live in it together because I didn't want to live at her parents place. She'll give me guilt that she did this just for me and now I'm gonna abandon her, I gave her all my money when I came here and I don't want any of them back, I just want to go home and continue to have a normal life there. 

We haven't filed for AOS yet but she'll soon want to do that, I will tell her just before that, but what is my best option at the moment?

Can't you have a dual citizenship? 

[Pavel1982 104]

16 hours ago, cornel.orlat said:

I got here on a k1 visa and got married to the person I love but I realised I simply cannot live here and abandon my country. I feel depressed, wake up at night and I just want to go back. My wife doesn't understand, she says I don't love her, we had this discussion even before marriage and I still tried to make it work. At the moment she doesn't know that I truly don't want to stay but how do I go on about this? She doesn't want to move to my country and if we file for divorce  I saw it takes more than 3 months to even have the case looked at. I can't live here in shame and guilt with her until it gets taken care of.

She rented an apartment just so that we can live in it together because I didn't want to live at her parents place. She'll give me guilt that she did this just for me and now I'm gonna abandon her, I gave her all my money when I came here and I don't want any of them back, I just want to go home and continue to have a normal life there. 

We haven't filed for AOS yet but she'll soon want to do that, I will tell her just before that, but what is my best option at the moment?

Everyone has already said what needs to say. I have been living here for 12 years now and i still feel homesick time to time. Whenever i feel like that i get busy and do something that i like and things get better from there. If you think that your relationship is worth to save, i will say give it at least 6 months to 1 year (before thinking about divorce) and get a job or get involve into something that you like and you will be feel less homesick day by day

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

4 hours ago, Cheschirecat said:

Can't you have a dual citizenship? 

Not sure where the OP is from but unfortunately not every country offers the ability to have a dual citizenship 😕

[cornel.orlat 1]

It's not that simple as everyone makes it out to be. I wake up at 5am with my hands burning up realizing I can't go back home. I left my mother home alone thinking that my brother would be there to help her but he doesn't visit her. It hit me right here that I abandoned the person who gave birth to me when she needs me the most, she's old now, I don't know how much she has, I already lost my father and wish I had him more. It's not just my mother, the life I had there too, I had everything I needed, living here is like life on hard mode abd I can't see why I would want to strugle for the rest of my life, I didn't think it all through and that's on me. I've been trying to come to terms since the day I got here... It would've been better to come and visit before making the move but I didn't thinking I'd save more money. But all this has happened now, messages saying I should've done this and that aren't going to change anything. I'm realizing that this place just isn't for me, it isn't for everyone and I'm one of them.

 

Now, what will happen if I go back? I'm sure I'm not the first one.. Like I said, staying here for a few months going through divorce is gonna ruin me mentally, going back home I won't have the resources to have a 'war'. Has there been anyone with a similar story? I'm from Romania.

[NikLR 13,227]

Do you know what homesickness is? Have you ever lived away from your family before?

 

There is no war in a marriage as short as yours.  

[Crazy Cat 41,922]

8 minutes ago, cornel.orlat said:

It's not that simple as everyone makes it out to be. I wake up at 5am with my hands burning up realizing I can't go back home. I left my mother home alone thinking that my brother would be there to help her but he doesn't visit her. It hit me right here that I abandoned the person who gave birth to me when she needs me the most, she's old now, I don't know how much she has, I already lost my father and wish I had him more. It's not just my mother, the life I had there too, I had everything I needed, living here is like life on hard mode abd I can't see why I would want to strugle for the rest of my life, I didn't think it all through and that's on me. I've been trying to come to terms since the day I got here... It would've been better to come and visit before making the move but I didn't thinking I'd save more money. But all this has happened now, messages saying I should've done this and that aren't going to change anything. I'm realizing that this place just isn't for me, it isn't for everyone and I'm one of them.

 

Now, what will happen if I go back? I'm sure I'm not the first one.. Like I said, staying here for a few months going through divorce is gonna ruin me mentally, going back home I won't have the resources to have a 'war'. Has there been anyone with a similar story? I'm from Romania.

You will not find the answers and peace you need here on an internet site.  The answers and peace you seek will only come from within yourself.  Good Luck in your decision.

[caliliving 606]

Divorce and go home. You can do a divorce from there ..just pack up and leave you are right this country isn't for everyone lol 

[Cheschirecat 176]

12 hours ago, cornel.orlat said:

It's not that simple as everyone makes it out to be. I wake up at 5am with my hands burning up realizing I can't go back home. I left my mother home alone thinking that my brother would be there to help her but he doesn't visit her. It hit me right here that I abandoned the person who gave birth to me when she needs me the most, she's old now, I don't know how much she has, I already lost my father and wish I had him more. It's not just my mother, the life I had there too, I had everything I needed, living here is like life on hard mode abd I can't see why I would want to strugle for the rest of my life, I didn't think it all through and that's on me. I've been trying to come to terms since the day I got here... It would've been better to come and visit before making the move but I didn't thinking I'd save more money. But all this has happened now, messages saying I should've done this and that aren't going to change anything. I'm realizing that this place just isn't for me, it isn't for everyone and I'm one of them.

 

Now, what will happen if I go back? I'm sure I'm not the first one.. Like I said, staying here for a few months going through divorce is gonna ruin me mentally, going back home I won't have the resources to have a 'war'. Has there been anyone with a similar story? I'm from Romania.

I can definitely understand where you are coming from and sorry for your dilemma.