Husband's Sexual Insecurity Puts Happy Marriage At Risk

[Fandango 1,439]

...and lobster...

got that from Friends, lol

[Dr_LHA 3]

I never really understood the concept of "jealousy", I believe it's a Judeo-Christian thing.

Wow. What a load of #######! That said, if my wife ###### someone else it would be jealousy I would be feeling, it would be betrayal.

[Fandango 1,439]

So what words ARE censored on vj? lol

[Dr_LHA 3]

###### ###### ###### bollocks ### <- take your pick.

EDIT: I guess ###### is censored but not ######.

Edited April 26, 2007 by Dr_LHA

[Fandango 1,439]

###### ###### ###### bollocks ### <- take your pick.

EDIT: I guess ###### is censored but not ######.

hahahhhhhhhhahah that's focked up

[mawilson 2,133]

Well that's ONE way to put it! hahahahahah

Well.... I feel that marriage is more about partnership than it is about sex.

It's about two people who commit to sharing and building their lives together.

Together - because it's easier together, and because you have each other's

support when things get tough. That's important. What you do for fun is less

important.

[mawilson 2,133]

I never really understood the concept of "jealousy", I believe it's a Judeo-Christian thing.

Wow. What a load of #######! That said, if my wife ###### someone else it would be jealousy I would be feeling, it would be betrayal.

Take it easy man. You've been sending a lot of negative vibes my way lately. (Why?)

It's betrayal only if you want it to be. If your wife f*cks another man and then

leaves you and tosses aside everything you've built together, that's betrayal.

[mawilson 2,133]

Some animals are polygamists, some aren't...I'm just stating that it's got nothing to do with religiously indroctinated jealousy.

And humans are ... ?

[eric&gen 0]

Thank god i dont have size problems because i am hung like a horse well i am half black from the waist down lol

[Dr_LHA 3]

Take it easy man. You've been sending a lot of negative vibes my way lately. (Why?)

Chill. I just thought your comment that jealousy being a "Judeo-Christian concept" was a load of old bollocks. Try not to take too much offense.

It's betrayal only if you want it to be.

True.

If your wife f*cks another man and then

leaves you and tosses aside everything you've built together, that's betrayal.

Yes, I imagine at that point I would be feeling a combination of jealously and betrayal.

[Fandango 1,439]

Well that's ONE way to put it! hahahahahah

Well.... I feel that marriage is more about partnership than it is about sex.

It's about two people who commit to sharing and building their lives together.

Together - because it's easier together, and because you have each other's

support when things get tough. That's important. What you do for fun is less

important.

I think that's a really sweet way of describing the marital bond as transcending the physical...but will defer to your wifey's definition of 'radical'

[mawilson 2,133]

Well that's ONE way to put it! hahahahahah

Well.... I feel that marriage is more about partnership than it is about sex.

It's about two people who commit to sharing and building their lives together.

Together - because it's easier together, and because you have each other's

support when things get tough. That's important. What you do for fun is less

important.

I think that's a really sweet way of describing the marital bond as transcending the physical...but will defer to your wifey's definition of 'radical'

[almaty 19]

Brother MA...there was a book called open marriage several years back, that was similar in your views...

[slim 1,523]

I recently heard that something like 50% of married men are cheating on their wives. That's crazy!

If you don't want to be married, (which traditionally consists of sex with only that person for the rest of your life) then don't get married! Or get divorced! Or, if you're S/O is cool with it, then swing baby, yeah!

It seems the guy in the OP is truly concerned for his wife's happiness, satisfaction, and well-being, sexually, of course. But, what he's not realizing is his wife is happy with him regardless of the other stuff. Seems he could have a happy marriage if he would just take his wife's word for it.

What I would suggest for them is this:

This is the husband's mental problem of insecurity. It has nothing to do with performance, feelings, etc. Since it's a mental thing, all he really needs is for his wife to give him some positive reinforcement about the "other" things that he does well without focusing on his "manhood" and really driving home the fact that she loves for those things, and he satisfies her in those ways. She IS SATISFIED with what he does, and that's all that really matters.

[keltic 1]

nothing this woman does will change how this man feels about his #######... this is something that is the mans issue...

she has tried to be supportive (at least from what she wrote)...

she has been with him for 3 years, no woman would want to waste that kind of time if she wasnt satisfied...

buying a toy wont do any good... if she doesnt enjoy it, he will say she is lying to please him... if she does, it will confirm his insecurities and he will feel even more pain...

sleeping with another man will only hurt him more, unless he is looking for some humiliation fantasy... and that is just a dangerous place to go...

if it aint broke, dont fix it... shes satisfied with their sex life... why cant he be? i mean, if he is only worried about her being pleased with his #######, that is... if he wants a big one to show off in the locker room, thats a different story... to be totally honest, i have always found that men seem to be much more concerned with ####### size than women...

what is truly sad is that if he keeps up this constant insecurity and doubting his wife, he will push her away... and she will probably leave him... not because he is small, but because he cant accept and love himself and cant trust her

Edited April 26, 2007 by keltic