Lack of Parental Support for CR1 & K1 in Indian Consulates

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

Keep us posted on her India trip next month

[Auds 223]

You seem pretty hung up that your visa will not be approved if you marry without mummy's consent.  This is not true - don't go by hearsay.

 

People like to find someone to blame and then blame it on family who disapproved.  The reasons are usually different.

 

You will have a better chance with CR-1.

 

Listen to us who are more experienced at life, DO NOT marry on first visit.  One to keep your CR-1 application stronger and other because just BECAUSE (time will explain to you the complexities of relationships). 

 

The least you can do is have her come over on a very long holiday (is possible) and consider marriage after you have spent some time together (this doesn't make it much better - but better than marrying in two weeks!)

 

As for your mum, you need to draw boundaries and learn to stand up for yourself and your woman.  I hope you did that the last time your mother yelled at your gf.  Do not marry till you are grown up enough to stand up for your woman.  This can be tough with Indian families but you got to do it right.

 

If your CR-1 is eventually rejected it will not be because of parental approval!  Ensure you two really want to marry, AFTER you have lived under one roof.  Life is extremely complex, you will have home sickness, feel left out, feel you have no support and much more once you are in the US.  These things bring extreme pressures on relationships.  

[Daisy.Chain 317]

6 hours ago, Sue You said:

Dude... you are way to young. Give it time and be patient. Online compatibility is far great but the chemistry when you meet and how long that lasts is a completely different matter. Don't take this the wrong way but you probably already know this.... Don't  rush in to it.

23 and 25 are not too young to get legally married in any country in the world. Apart from legal restrictions, each pair is different. One couple might be ready at 21, another not ready at 35. Only the couple can decide.

[Auds 223]

5 minutes ago, Daisy.Chain said:

23 and 25 are not too young to get legally married in any country in the world. Apart from legal restrictions, each pair is different. One couple might be ready at 21, another not ready at 35. Only the couple can decide.

Yes agreed completely, by 23 I had worked my way up to a management position and was traveling halfway around the world for work.

 

Having said that - they have never met and at 18, 28 or 48 the fact doesn't change that it is different in person.  I understand many arranged marriages happen where couples have never or barely met, but its usually within similar cultures, background etc.  The OPs situation requires him to take it slow.

Edited December 13, 2017 by Auds

[CM&KV 72]

Does your girlfriend have Russian citzenship still? If yes, how well is your Russian? You went to school there, and most schools are taught in Russian. If all else fails move to Russia and get married etc, start a life with her there, but make sure you both are ready for it.

 

This is my plan b for my spouse if he gets denied the cr1, we have red flags( married a many times but never to some from a different country till this marriage.) but we have close to two years of face time with each other while he was in the USA on business trips etc. But with us being busy with our work arrangements left little time for traveling and doing things on holiday ( never had a new years or Christmas face to face with him only via internet) and weekends.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

Edited December 14, 2017 by CM&KV

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

The odds of OP marrying and settling down in Russia is zero...

 

hooked up with a USC gf

2 US visitor visa attempts

looking into K1

failing that a CR1

[AnonIndia 58]

@Auds Thanks for the advice. We talked about it and we are not gonna be planning anything on the first visit but we are gonna be saving all our tickets and receipts for the future. She can only come to India at 2 weeks at a time or maybe 3 maximum. We are gonna spend as much face time as possible and get to know each other first. 

 

Quote

1 hour ago, CM&KV said:

Does your girlfriend have Russian citzenship still? If yes, how well is your Russian? You went to school there, and most schools are taught in Russian. If all else fails move to Russia and get married etc, start a life with her there, but make sure you both are ready for it.

 

This is my plan b for my spouse if he gets denied the cr1, we have red flags( married a many times but never to some from a different country till this marriage.) but we have close to two years of face time with each other while he was in the USA on business trips etc. But with us being busy with our work arrangements left little time for traveling and doing things on holiday ( never had a new years or Christmas face to face with him only via internet) and weekends.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

She got adopted from Russia when she was 6 in the 90s along with her brother and half sister. She forgot all her Russian but I know the language. I was taught in English but had weekly Russian classes so I could interact with the patients. Moving to Russia would be a last ditch option I am willing to consider if all else fails. I could work there but my girl can't. 

 

[Ahoy01 31]

As many people have mentioned, it is one thing be in a relationship online, another to be in a relationship in person. My wife and I talked for a year before we meeting, when we met we had chemistry. But we did not decided to jump in right away. I went there and spent almost 6 months with her and after that she came and saw me and we finally got married after that. 

 

But there was always a possibility when we met thing would not have worked out, if not every blind date or internet date would be successful. But it is not the case.

[AnonIndia 58]

@Eli01 Thanks for the advice. We now intend to spend as much time together as possible on her first visit and subsequent visits. It makes sense after thinking about it overnight. She's visiting this January. I wish i could go see her but they don't give tourist visas for people from India that easily. She has to come see me. We are slowly working things out getting ready for our first actual face to face meeting. 

[CareIsh 5]

From the personal experience at US embassy New Delhi I can tell you that they will call your mother to verify your relationship. They will ask you if you have brought your phone to the embassy and if it is the locker box . If you say yes they will take your phone and call all your phone contacts. Yes sounds crazy but this is how the system works here. Make sure your mom knows about your relation. She may not approve it but she should know about it . Embassy is very big on parents approval in India. New Delhi is most hard to deal with. Just make lot of visits and document each visit.All the best 

[AnonIndia 58]

4 minutes ago, CareIsh said:

From the personal experience at US embassy New Delhi I can tell you that they will call your mother to verify your relationship. They will ask you if you have brought your phone to the embassy and if it is the locker box . If you say yes they will take your phone and call all your phone contacts. Yes sounds crazy but this is how the system works here. Make sure your mom knows about your relation. She may not approve it but she should know about it . Embassy is very big on parents approval in India. New Delhi is most hard to deal with. Just make lot of visits and document each visit.All the best 

Wow that sounds insane. I don't mind them calling my mom but she is about 90% sure to disapprove of us being together. I don't think it is right to hide your significant other from your mom but I understand why the embassy does it. A lot of people try to get into secret marriages and relationships to get out of India. 

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

1 hour ago, AnonIndia said:

She got adopted from Russia when she was 6 in the 90s along with her brother and half sister. She forgot all her Russian but I know the language. I was taught in English but had weekly Russian classes so I could interact with the patients. Moving to Russia would be a last ditch option I am willing to consider if all else fails. I could work there but my girl can't. 

 

Why give up what sounds like a promising career when you have the language+practice and potential ability in Russia?  You're putting way too many eggs in the USC-marriage basket to be hitched to someone across cultural divides you've yet to meet. 

[AnonIndia 58]

@WeGuyGal i dropped out of medical university purely for academic reasons. It was 100% my own fault.  I was partying too much and I had very poor attendance. I had to repeat a semester as well. I didn't put the eggs in the basket myself. And I didn't seek out the US Citizen marriage basket as well. You could say I have more cultural divide in the case of my Russian exes too. Are you gonna question why I even bothered to date them as well? According to you it seems it is not OK and incredibly suspect to date anyone from the United States when you are from a third world country. 

Edited December 14, 2017 by AnonIndia

[NYCruiser 423]

21 hours ago, AnonIndia said:

@TNJ17 I agree. But I have very very little hope of my mom approving our relationship. Last time I brought up my ex who was a Russian white girl she went nuts. She has a incredibly low opinion of whites for some reason. I guess it is due to her preconceived notions about Hollywood, porn and other stuff. I feel like we will have a bad outcome no matter whether we apply for CR1 or K1. 

Yeah....you should perhaps give her some schooling on Indians and the associated 'issues' with Indians. LOL. (I am Indian Christian by the way too). Correct me if I am wrong. Are you Goan by any chance? If so, Goans are a mixture of Portuguese and Indian/Black/Arab. If not, apologies......

 

That being said, you have a tough road ahead. You two need to meet for the K1 in person. India is a high fraud country, so not sure if one time is enough. You might have to meet several times then do the /I130CR1 marriage. If your girl cannot afford trips to see you, what about a different Third Country besides Italy (Europe is not cheap). I know the Visa issues with India

[AnonIndia 58]

@NYCruiser Yeah we plan on meeting as many times as possible now before considering engagement or marriage. We can afford the first trip so far which is gonna be January or early February. We plan on saving money every two months and then meeting in person in India. We can't have a meeting in a third country because I would have to fly there back and forth and then it is gonna be expensive as well. I know how to live modesty and yet enjoy life best in Russia and India because I spent most of my life in these two places. I am a South Indian Tamil Christian.