American Woman, Moroccan Man

[SamNicVilla 0]

I really need an outside opinion. I recently met a morrocan man online through Facebook. I wanted to give myself tickets to somewhere exotic my 30th birthday and recently liked a bunch of morrocan pages. I got a friend request the next couple of days from a man I did not know. Thinking he was someone I might work with since I worked for a big company I messaged him and asked if I knew him. He responded no and introduced himself, said Facebook suggested me as a friend so he requested me. Other the next couple of weeks we have talked though messenger, had a couple of calls and a video chat. He immediately wanted to be in a relationship and I told him no, he's told me he loves me and I have told him back. He's already told me theirs no jobs in morroco, he lives with his parents, hangs out at the coffee shops and gym. We talk about many many things so these are some things he's mentioned. I tell him how can u love someone u don't know and he gives me the same reasons other men having been telling me all my life, like I'm thinking at least he picks up on stuff lol. A couple of months I went out of town and got my cards and palm read by a fortune teller, she described a big move, said the next man I meet will be the one and said all the love and goodness I've given out will finally come back to me. I can't help but think she was talking about this man from Morrocco. Also, our horoscopes are perfect matches, both my ex's are his same sign including my son's father. I'm not with my sons father cus of the age difference he was 10yrs older than me. I'm 29 and the man from Morrocco is 27. I don't know what else to do but stay away from the fortune tellers. Please give me advice, I feel like I'm crazy for feeling this way.

[Umka36 781]

Here's my take on fortune tellers, "for entertainment only" (I imagine you paid for such service?). If you want to meet the Moroccan man then visit him, but based on what you wrote he seems to be looking for someone to help him get out of poverty and a better life. There's nothing wrong with that, but you have to be honest with yourself about his intentions to avoid being scammed.

[SamNicVilla 0]

It should of been mine too! The fortune teller was a couple of months before I met him online. Well it's Early enough to end things with little damage on both sides. I was interested in his culture, a lot of things having been to 7 other countries and got all wrapped up. 

Edited December 13, 2017 by SamNicVilla

[Ontarkie 14,226]

~~Moved to the Regional forum, from Off Topic - The advice from the regional forum would be the place to ask such questions.~~

[SamNicVilla 0]

Well maybe I love the way he makes me feel. I don't want to hurt anyone nor do I want to be intentionally hurt so that's why I say it like that.  I obviously don't know what I'm getting myself into which is why I'm here getting sense talked into me. I've always been over 125% of the FPIL for a household of 4, I'm a Veteran, have a degree and been in my current job field for about 7 years so yes I worry about my son and handle my responsibilities. Thank you for your honest opinion. 

Edited December 13, 2017 by SamNicVilla

[Ryan H 3,812]

**One poster removed per poster's request.**

[Boiler 45,525]

Sounds like he has a job.

[janet3 1,170]

I agree with @Umka36 I had a really creepy friend when I was a teenager that paid a fortune teller to tell me he and I were suppose to be together and that deep down "we were in love". Think of going to a fortune teller as "paid entertainment".....ALWAYS follow your intuition. ALWAYS.

As for your friend in Morocco....if you want to meet him....do so...stay in a hotel, meet at a restaurant in a big city, stay safe.....when I met my Algerian fiance  (husband....as of today ) I had a file of our conversations, all of his information (pictures, copies of his passport and driver's license), all of my information (pictures, passport, important information). Treat this first meeting as if you are meeting someone off of the Internet here...stay safe. Good luck. I wish you the very best. 

[RJandHamid 1,133]

How can someone you hardly know be in love with you? Are you planning on meeting him in Morocco? I'm married to a Moroccan man and he is wonderful, but there are so many men looking for a way out of Morocco and try to get into marriages just for a way out of the country. I would use caution.

[sparkles_ 456]

He hangs out in Internet cafes and is probably talking to you and about 4 others the same exact way and will take the first female that can offer him a better life somehow. 

 

I know this because I speak darija and have eavesdropped, and I've also had Moroccan guy friends who told me all about the art of scamming....this sounds like the classic social media scam. The USA embassy in Morocco even has a page warning females of your exact situation. 

 

 

A very very high percent of Moroccan guys are just fishing for a way out. You've been married before, you're older than him, you have a child, you don't speak the language and you aren't Muslim (unless you are and I missed it). Realistically the embassy sees those things as culturally unacceptable. Now do successful marriages with Americans andoroccans happen with some of those things involved, sure. But it isn't nearly as common as many delude themselves to believe.

 

 

Make a Moroccan friend and have them check this guy out before you consider anything else 

[EvieMN 105]

This sounds kinda fishy to me. I believe in love and fairytales but I would advise you to be very, very careful.

Thee biggest red flag for me is how fast he's moving with the "I love you" and things like that.

If you do decide to pursue this, visit him at least a few times, propose you moving there and see his reaction.

Something's telling me he won't be happy.

[Beth & Achraf 328]

Just listen to your head and not your heart. Go over and visit, travel is good for the soul.   But be aware, of things he said, such as no jobs. I have 3 brother in laws in Safi, they work full time and go to school along with  hanging out at the gym and cafes . There are jobs, he just needs to look for one.    Get to know him, his family and friends.   I love you is so easy to say, but proving it is another thing.

As for moving to Morocco, that's a no for me,  moving from one state to another here in the US is one thing, but a whole different country with a culture you most likely never encountered before will be a shock & a Hugh adjustment.     Go visit, take it slow, very slow.      And not to upset you, him immediately wanting to be in a relationship is a red flag right there.

 

Best of luck on your journey and adventures.

 

[Happytobe 164]

I agree with the input from the other posters. Some guys in Morocco make a good living off of foreign women by sitting at internet cafés all day. My husband and I met on Facebook and we chatted for hours everyday. He was at home, though, and only went to an internet café when the home connection was bad. 

 

I had had the unfortunate experience, prior to meeting my husband, of communicating with a scammer in Morocco. I had no intention of getting romantically involved with my husband initially, however after a month of talking for hours every day a few times a day... I knew I had to meet him in person. There are too guys everywhere in the world, but there are also a lot of predators. 

 

I say, if you want to explore Morocco a little, go for it. Book a room for yourself and meet the guy. Don’t pay for anything for him. You’re sure to get some kind of “oh, this terrible thing happened, can you loan me some money” kind of thing... there is work in Morocco, and if the guy is paying for service at a café, he’s got to have some means for that money coming in. 

 

Good luck, be safe, and be smart! The scammers are pro’s!