Quitting my soul-crushing job and need advice on how

[Alex+R 0]

Ok, so, I am still in the three-month probationary period at my new job, and I really hate it. I need to quit because by the time they train me, I will have to leave to move to NY for grad school. When I applied to the job, I was 99% sure I would not be admitted to the program, so it barely crossed my mind. However, the recruiter asked me directly, for some weird reason, if I had done x, y, z or APPLIED TO GRAD SCHOOL. So I did what anyone who was desperate for a job and was on the spot would do: I lied and said no. Initially, the plan was that if I did get into school, I would tell them that Rey got transferred and voila.

HOWEVER, I now see that this job requires at least 4-5 months of training, which they did not convey at all at the interview, and as such, I now realize that staying at the job would be unethical and leave them in the lurch during their fall busy season because they'd be training someone else. Bottom line, I don't want to waste any more of their time.

I'm so miserable there anyway. Today my boss said that I was learning the stuff really fast but I wasn't talking socially with my coworkers enough (nazi cubemate forbade me from doing so the first day anyway) and that they heard I was surfing the internet during the middle of the day (because nazi cube mate, who is training me, told me to sit quietly and wait for her to tell me what else to do when I didn't have any work, since my work makes more work for her). So basically now even my reputation as a good worker is on the line. However, whenever they ask me how I'm adjusting and how I like it, I have just said good, fine, etc. because I haven't found a way to say "thinking of quitting, actually."

What I'm planning to say is "I realized yesterday when I heard I wasn't friendly enough or working hard enough that this isn't me blababla and that maybe I need to leave this job and think about the direction I want to go in. I think longterm this isn't what I want to be doing, although leaving here is difficult because everyone has been so nice and helpful to me. I just don't want to waste any more of anyone's time, etc" what else guys!? how do you do this?

Also, they gave me a gift pack today including gift certificates, 50 bucks and a bunch of other stuff. I ate the granola bar and drank the bottle of water in there, but should I give it back? Offer?

Sorry this is so longwinded but I'm kinda frazzled here...

[MissStacey 1]

Keep the gift- you have earned it!

Just write up a simple letter giving them 2 weeks notice, or a month- whatever the policy is there. Keep it brief and to the point. You don't have to give them a long explanation on why you are leaving.

If things get worse and they treat you badly, be prepared to leave sooner.

[athena_ny 1]

Ok, so, I am still in the three-month probationary period at my new job, and I really hate it. I need to quit because by the time they train me, I will have to leave to move to NY for grad school. When I applied to the job, I was 99% sure I would not be admitted to the program, so it barely crossed my mind. However, the recruiter asked me directly, for some weird reason, if I had done x, y, z or APPLIED TO GRAD SCHOOL. So I did what anyone who was desperate for a job and was on the spot would do: I lied and said no. Initially, the plan was that if I did get into school, I would tell them that Rey got transferred and voila.

HOWEVER, I now see that this job requires at least 4-5 months of training, which they did not convey at all at the interview, and as such, I now realize that staying at the job would be unethical and leave them in the lurch during their fall busy season because they'd be training someone else. Bottom line, I don't want to waste any more of their time.

I'm so miserable there anyway. Today my boss said that I was learning the stuff really fast but I wasn't talking socially with my coworkers enough (nazi cubemate forbade me from doing so the first day anyway) and that they heard I was surfing the internet during the middle of the day (because nazi cube mate, who is training me, told me to sit quietly and wait for her to tell me what else to do when I didn't have any work, since my work makes more work for her). So basically now even my reputation as a good worker is on the line. However, whenever they ask me how I'm adjusting and how I like it, I have just said good, fine, etc. because I haven't found a way to say "thinking of quitting, actually."

What I'm planning to say is "I realized yesterday when I heard I wasn't friendly enough or working hard enough that this isn't me blababla and that maybe I need to leave this job and think about the direction I want to go in. I think longterm this isn't what I want to be doing, although leaving here is difficult because everyone has been so nice and helpful to me. I just don't want to waste any more of anyone's time, etc" what else guys!? how do you do this?

Also, they gave me a gift pack today including gift certificates, 50 bucks and a bunch of other stuff. I ate the granola bar and drank the bottle of water in there, but should I give it back? Offer?

Sorry this is so longwinded but I'm kinda frazzled here...

How about..."I quit!"

You owe them nothing. Walk out if you feel like it. I'd always recommend the 2 weeks, but I've learned something in my (short) life: no one else is doing me any favors (except maybe my husband and my mother) so if I'm unhappy, find something better, etc. I'll leave and never come back if that's what it takes. I did that last time, and here I am, six months later, making 7,000 dollars more a year than I would have been, and a hell of a lot happier.

At my job, I'd rather see someone leave or get fired early enough on that they can't do any major damage. Maybe you aren't doing major damage, but I work in the phone directory business, and I'd rather see the guy who's throwing accounts away because he "doesn't feel like" working them get fired early on in the game instead of creating more and more work for account management and sales - so your heart isn't in it, and you don't want to waste any more of their time. Tell them that, if you must. Tell them you applied for grad school but didn't think you'd get it in, and now your plans have changed. They'll know you lied in the beginning, but I've fabricated plenty of times to get a decent job, especially when the bills are piling up and someone has to pay them. We're all fighting for our own lives, not anyone else's. Big businesses don't care about your personal situation, and I see it as the same in reverse: as early on in the game as you, you shouldn't care about their's, either. My mother constantly says, "Look out for number one..." so do it. Don't worry about having lied, or lying, and don't launch into a diatribe about how you're discovering where you really want to go in life. I always stick as closely to the truth as I can without looking like a loser. They don't care if you're discovering the meaning of life, just stick the point. You're quitting, they need to find someone else.

[rebeccajo 14]

It's not called 'at-will' employment for nothing, Alex.

Just give them two-weeks notice, keep your nose clean till the last day, and walk out feeling like a load of bricks is off your back.

[Ladylethal 12]

Alex, I'd write up a resignation letter, explaining your life is taking a new direction and that you'll have to leave, giving them a notice of whatever is the policy of the company. Be polite but keep it short. Explain in person when you present the letter, if you want to be more personal.

[William33 110]

As others have stated, at will employment, is just that. Moreover, it's bi-directional.

Subtract the emotion, give 2 weeks notice and bounce. Good luck in Grad School!!!

[mawilson 2,133]

- Fake your own death

- Set the building on fire

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'd be up front about it as much as possible without revealing too much. You don't owe them a full explanation. I'd write a resignation letter to the boss explaining that some unforeseeable circumstances have come up and you would not be able to continue your employment. Reassure them your gratitude for the opportunity and experience and leave it at that. If your boss asks you what the circumstances were, just let him/her know that is something rather personal that you can't discuss and they will be understanding.

[Otto 83]

I agree with Rebecca's approach.

Write a very short resignation letter - ask to meet with your supervisor and tell him/her that you will unfortunately be resigning for personal reasons. You don't have to explain and believe me, they really won't care in the long run if you simply say it is for personal reasons and leave it at that.

DATE: __/__/__ (today's date)

TO: Sir/Madame whoever,

FROM: ALEX.....

RE: RESIGNATION

This letter is to inform you that I must regrettably resign my position effective __/__/__ (two weeks from today). I wish to thank you for the opportunity and wish you well with your business.

Signed

Alex.....

[peezey 0]

Don't say any of the things you are thinking of saying. If you'd worked there a long time, had relationships, then they'd know you'd applied to grad school and are leaving for that, but since this isn't the case, write up a letter "thank you for the opportunity, I've learned a lot, sadly, I am giving X weeks notice. My last day will be X, Sincerely, Alex."

keep the gift basket

oops, too slow, K&O's is much more succinct, use that one.

[William33 110]

Either way, avoid TMI. Most employers, if contacted later, will simply state the dates employed and maybe, position held. Lawsuits are always a consideration in risk analysis, thus many employers offer the above only. Others, that feel burnt, will burn you.

With that in mind, withdraw from the position, without revealing TMI.

[rebeccajo 14]

- Fake your own death

- Set the building on fire

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

Oh wait....not until after the cake......

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

resignation letter short and sweet. don't give them too much info.

[Alex+R 0]

A little more info. They are paying me through a temp agency's payroll company for the first three months (their probationary period) so I don't think I have to give 2 weeks, and since they're still training me and I'm barely a productive member of the team yet (and I am #8 of a formerly 7-person team) the sooner I leave the LESS work for them, rather than MORE as is usually the reason for giving 2 weeks (giving them a chance to fill the hole you leave).

The other thing, they are REALLY personal there (note the fact that I got in trouble for not socializing enough during worktime). I'm afraid being terse would be a form of burning them.

[peezey 0]

A little more info. They are paying me through a temp agency's payroll company for the first three months (their probationary period) so I don't think I have to give 2 weeks, and since they're still training me and I'm barely a productive member of the team yet (and I am #8 of a formerly 7-person team) the sooner I leave the LESS work for them, rather than MORE as is usually the reason for giving 2 weeks (giving them a chance to fill the hole you leave).

The other thing, they are REALLY personal there (note the fact that I got in trouble for not socializing enough during worktime). I'm afraid being terse would be a form of burning them.

I still don't think you should say anymore. Plus, doesn't the agency paying you speak for you at the company? That's normally how it works around here. Notify the agency you need to give 2 weeks then see what they say is the next step. Anyway, burning them or not, you haven't worked there long enough to put this on your resume right? So don't worry, this is one of those things that you can pretend never happened.

Edited April 26, 2007 by peezey