Moving to the states to live with my gf

[NikLR 13,227]

4 hours ago, Cammy33 said:

Yes you have to divorce first and in Canada you have to be legally separated (and be able to prove it) for one full year before you can get a divorce.  I am currently in the same dilemma.  My one year will be up in February and then the divorce can be filed.  

Maybe in your province? That isnt the case in every province. 

[NikLR 13,227]

I knew about my husband's ex wife soon into our friendship (before we started dating.)  He knew about my kid.  These are things you share with close friends but even more so with future spouses.  I suggest you start divorce  (I understand that it is more expensive up North which is why many do not do it until necessary.) And tell your GF about your past.  Go from there to see how your relationship goes.  Then worry about immigration.  Imho, the CR1 is a better visa than the K1.  It takes longer but it is cheaper and you get a green card faster. 

[Ontarkie 14,227]

 You can also file on your own just go to the court house and they will give you all the papers you need. Some court houses may even have a day or two a week that offer a free consult with a lawyer. 

 

Since you have been dating about a year I'm going to guess you've been separated at least that long too. Get started on that divorce and don't wait any longer about telling your girlfriend. If I was her I'd been very upset you waited this long. 

Edited December 6, 2017 by Ontarkie

[Christy&J 837]

7 hours ago, Goldenkoi91 said:

Ok.. Relax.. I never heard of bigamy i dont know what that is.. Im not the smartest person, is it a problem to ask to make sure.. And no she doesn't.. I just didnt find the right time to tell her yet

so you've been dating her for a year and you haven't found the "right time" yet to tell her ?

 

solid relationship/ marriage based on communication, trust, honesty and loyalty...unfortunately in my sight you have lots of things to learn. isn't it sad to imagine that you want divorce your now still wife to be with a girl that you started your relationship with lies ?

 

 

this is the first thing you should have told her before even date her !!! so literally you've been lying to her for roughly a year.

if I was her I would bail !

 

wish you luck

[caliliving 606]

10 hours ago, Christy&J said:

so you've been dating her for a year and you haven't found the "right time" yet to tell her ?

 

solid relationship/ marriage based on communication, trust, honesty and loyalty...unfortunately in my sight you have lots of things to learn. isn't it sad to imagine that you want divorce your now still wife to be with a girl that you started your relationship with lies ?

 

 

this is the first thing you should have told her before even date her !!! so literally you've been lying to her for roughly a year.

if I was her I would bail !

 

wish you luck

Maybe you don't really want to get divorced? You can't have your cake and eat it too! Maybe you don't really want to be with this person or officially cut off ties with the other

You should probably think long and hard before y iu move for someone. 

[Goldenkoi91 3]

Lol you guys relax, i told her an obviously she was shocked and pissed for abit but shes understands and is okay with it and willing to work through the process with me

[NikLR 13,227]

Lucky for you.  Now get divorced! Lol

[eastcoastgroove 329]

I was kind of in the same boat as you.  Met my now- husband while in my one year separation period before I could divorce (New Brunswick).  I'm not sure where in Canada you are but I found a free divorce guide for New Brunswick online and did everything myself (joint divorce).  It cost me less than $200 (filing fees) and took about 5 months from my first filing (end of August) until the divorce was official (signed off by judge end of December and then I had to wait a month incase either of us wanted to appeal it; it became effective Jan 20).  We filed our K1 mid-February and I moved to the US in September.  I am now waiting for my EAD to come through so I can work.  

 

Good luck!! It's a long process, especially when you have to wait for a divorce but definitely worth it!!

Edited December 8, 2017 by eastcoastgroove

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

On 12/6/2017 at 5:13 PM, Goldenkoi91 said:

Lol you guys relax, i told her an obviously she was shocked and pissed for abit but shes understands and is okay with it and willing to work through the process with me

She sounds like a keeper. Treat her well. Good luck.

[Goldenkoi91 3]

6 hours ago, eastcoastgroove said:

I was kind of in the same boat as you.  Met my now- husband while in my one year separation period before I could divorce (New Brunswick).  I'm not sure where in Canada you are but I found a free divorce guide for New Brunswick online and did everything myself (joint divorce).  It cost me less than $200 (filing fees) and took about 5 months from my first filing (end of August) until the divorce was official (signed off by judge end of December and then I had to wait a month incase either of us wanted to appeal it; it became effective Jan 20).  We filed our K1 mid-February and I moved to the US in September.  I am now waiting for my EAD to come through so I can work.  

 

Good luck!! It's a long process, especially when you have to wait for a divorce but definitely worth it!!

Im from ottawa and i have a friend that's gonna help with the whole thing lol. But glad you made it and now living in the us lol. 

 

3 hours ago, Russ&Caro said:

She sounds like a keeper. Treat her well. Good luck.

And yup she is, and will do lol. I mean i told her i know i messed up by not telling her sooner and i do apologize but also think about all of the stuff we've talked about and planned.. And wanted to do and build together in our future.. Just gonna throw all of that away? Plus if i was wanting to hide things and kept lying i wouldve kept hiding it and kept my mouth shut and not have said a thing. she has every right to be pissed and i understand. But shes over it so im good lol

[caliliving 606]

1 hour ago, Goldenkoi91 said:

Im from ottawa and i have a friend that's gonna help with the whole thing lol. But glad you made it and now living in the us lol. 

 

And yup she is, and will do lol. I mean i told her i know i messed up by not telling her sooner and i do apologize but also think about all of the stuff we've talked about and planned.. And wanted to do and build together in our future.. Just gonna throw all of that away? Plus if i was wanting to hide things and kept lying i wouldve kept hiding it and kept my mouth shut and not have said a thing. she has every right to be pissed and i understand. But shes over it so im good lol

 

Yeah, i mean you didnt tell her you were 'technically' still married.. its not like the wife is living in your house or you are still seeing her.  that is a whole other ball game.  big deal, you didnt tell her bc u thought she would find you 'damaged' goods.  right? and then you just didnt feel the need to because i am sure in your eyes you are not 'married' yeah, i can see how that can happen.  if you had a gf or your wife living in your house that would be a different story.  i would be hurt (the whole keeping lies from me) and ask alot of quesitons but i would get over it too.. good luck with everything!!! 

[Goldenkoi91 3]

4 hours ago, caliliving said:

 

Yeah, i mean you didnt tell her you were 'technically' still married.. its not like the wife is living in your house or you are still seeing her.  that is a whole other ball game.  big deal, you didnt tell her bc u thought she would find you 'damaged' goods.  right? and then you just didnt feel the need to because i am sure in your eyes you are not 'married' yeah, i can see how that can happen.  if you had a gf or your wife living in your house that would be a different story.  i would be hurt (the whole keeping lies from me) and ask alot of quesitons but i would get over it too.. good luck with everything!!! 

Yes i did tell her i was still married.. I told her i dont live with her anymore and dont even contact with her.. She was just pissed and asked why i havent told her yet and wanted to see proof, after i said why and showed proof, she believed me and got over it. I didnt really lie, i just hid it for awhile. If she asked me if i was married before and i said no, then yes i wouldve lied. But it never came upon us. She just didnt like that fact that i hid something from her. 

[Unlockable 7,314]

49 minutes ago, Goldenkoi91 said:

Yes i did tell her i was still married.. I told her i dont live with her anymore and dont even contact with her.. She was just pissed and asked why i havent told her yet and wanted to see proof, after i said why and showed proof, she believed me and got over it. I didnt really lie, i just hid it for awhile. If she asked me if i was married before and i said no, then yes i wouldve lied. But it never came upon us. She just didnt like that fact that i hid something from her. 

Omission is still a lie. You are making excuses and trying to downplay your wrong doing.

 

Put it this way. If it wasn't wrong with what you did then why did she get upset about it? If you don't want to call it a lie then it was definitely deceitful. And that is why she was pissed. Being deceitful hurts just as much as lying.

 

 

 

Edited December 9, 2017 by NuestraUnion

[Goldenkoi91 3]

27 minutes ago, NuestraUnion said:

Omission is still a lie. You are making excuses and trying to downplay your wrong doing.

 

Put it this way. If it wasn't wrong with what you did then why did she get upset about it? If you don't want to call it a lie then it was definitely deceitful. And that is why she was pissed. Being deceitful hurts just as much as lying.

 

 

 

Of course what i did was wrong, never said it wasnt. I get that she was upset its cause i hid it from her.. it came out like this. At first i thought why tell her if i dont know if things are going to be serious with her yet. Also if it wasnt getting serious, she doesn't need to know everything going on in my life. Even before we dated or dating the first couple months i still didnt want to say anything cause anything couldve happened at those times and we couldve broken off and i didnt want her knowing information like that. Halfway through the year we got more serious and i know i shouldve told her then, but i didnt because my smart ### wanted to look for the right time, and i was afraid id kill the mood. Like if we were having a good time or convo, its hard to pop that in.. Like "hey.. Yeah.. So im married.. 😳) and this kept going on in my mind, "Im gonna tell her tomorrow", "i have to tell her when i see her" and months later it still didnt happen. My anixety and fear gets to me and i blow it off cause i fear of the reaction i will get. I dont like to lie, thats why i told her.. Sure i messed up waiting a long time to finally tell her, and i didnt mean to hurt her, even though she said she wasnt hurt, Im just very protective of myself if that makes sense. 

Edited December 9, 2017 by Goldenkoi91

[MacUK 983]

On 05/12/2017 at 2:21 PM, NuestraUnion said:

Many, or I should say, most North Americans/ Westerners  are ignorant to immigration processes. They think they can just waltz into a neighboring country and start living there. So it is not surprising to get a question like this. And I would give the OP slack on that.

 

But the whole still being married and wanting to know if he has to divorce before marrying his girlfriend is another story. That he should know better.

 

I still remember the funny story of the Canadian moving to the US on a visitor visa. She was denied entry at the border because she had a U-Haul trailer attached to her car. She honestly had no idea it couldn't be done like that.

I blame Hollywood.

Your average movie that involves international romance just show people falling in love and moving to any country they want to.

 

I've never seen any movie that shows Leonardo DiCaprio having to email Kate Winslet to verify the spelling of her mothers maiden name in their I-129f petition.