Responses to questions from new members.

[Mags 112]

Well, the thing that I have noticed is that when a member here DOES respond politely, takes time to write a reply and gives great information, that there is quite a lot of the newer members who don't take the time to thank that person either.

It's a two way street IMO; it goes both ways (obviously!).

The other thing I find is that the guides are just that, a guide. They shouldn't be quoted here there and everywhere as the golden ticket to USCIS. They should be used alongside other information, mainly from the USCIS sites. Yet they are treated as the be all and end all by some. Yes, they are helpful, they helped me, but they are not the only source of information available.[/b]

yeah, I agree...

there is a polite way of helping people... you can point them in the right direction but you don't have to be snippy and rude about it.... I am not referring to you mags ....

I agree with you there Marilyn, you should treat people as you yourself would wish to be treated. That's what I was always told.

[tmma 467]

It really bothers me when someone VOLUNTEERS themselves to do something, then promptly complains about doing it later.

I see that alot on here...People WILLINGLY sitting on forums and immediatly answering questions ( which is great)-then afterwards complaining about it; and feeling entitled to be snippy and abrasive especially to newer members ( who in time will keep the site alive).

No one is forced to answer questions here; although it IS much appreciated, lets get real....Answering people's questions is a CHOICE and if it is becoming a source of irritation to you or is bringing about snippy feelings, then don't!

Don't volunteer yourself, then complain afterwards!

[Fandango 1,439]

It really bothers me when someone VOLUNTEERS themselves to do something, then promptly complains about doing it later.

I see that alot on here...People WILLINGLY sitting on forums and immediatly answering questions ( which is great)-then afterwards complaining about it; and feeling entitled to be snippy and abrasive especially to newer members ( who in time will keep the site alive).

No one is forced to answer questions here; although it IS much appreciated, lets get real....Answering people's questions is a CHOICE and if it is becoming a source of irritation to you or is bringing about snippy feelings, then don't!

Don't volunteer yourself, then complain afterwards!

Yanno what Shele? I completely agree & you've changed my mind!

[darkhorse 0]

I'm polite and generally sensitive to people's situations here. But yesterday was a good example of someone getting their nose pushed out of shape over *nothing*. Review of that person's past participation convinces me that the poster is just an a-hole, and he probably "sees" that response wherever he goes.

Some people are always going to see themselves as picked on. There's a limit to how much others will reasonably accomodate that.

I believe you are reffering to me.... Below is a portion of your FIRST post to me. I guess we have different definitions of what polite is... I found it quite condescending.

If you are referring to me, I'm not quite sure of what "past participation" you're speaking of? I'm realtively new to the site.

I'd ditch the 'incompetent' attitude until you know more about what you're doing.. they aren't bad liars or incompetent--the people on the phone don't even work for the CIS, and your calls can not be x-ferred between buildings.

[mybackpages 0]

I must say that most people are wonderful on here, but SOME sound rude and irritable when answering new people's questions (you know who you are) and I, for one, feel saddened by this when I see it.

Some of us are just rude and irritable by nature Don't take it too much to heart.

[Fandango 1,439]

But yesterday was a good example of someone getting their nose pushed out of shape over *nothing*.

ITA...so what was bothering you?

Edited April 25, 2007 by LisaD

[Uzume 0]

Uzume,

It isn't only new members who ask obvious questions or questions that are asked numerous times every hour. Some people simply don't look for information, their nature is to ask questions without regard to whether or not the information is readily available. Other people like to read a lot, and ask questions only when they've exhausted all of the sources that they can find.

Looking at it from the other side of the issue, some people are happy to respond to any post no matter what the question and whether or not they know the answer.

Takes all kinds, I guess.

Yodrak

I'm getting a bit annoyed with the way some people respond to questions from new members.

Just because they may seem like obvious questions and may have been answered a hundred times before, just because they are answered in timelines etc etc etc..... this process is daunting for everyone and we all need support.

Have you considered the fact that maybe asking an obvious question might just be the only way to introduce oneself when new on the site? Also, although thousands of people are applying for the same visas, we were all new and unsure when we started this.

I must say that most people are wonderful on here, but SOME sound rude and irritable when answering new people's questions (you know who you are) and I, for one, feel saddened by this when I see it.

Hi Yodrak,

Many thanks for your reply. This is exactly my point - why bother replying if it's all such a waste of time for someone? Just leave it to those who are happy to do so without being terse or impatient.

When i first joined, I read a lot of the stuff on here but, as a human, missed some bits, as others obviously have also.

Reading through some of the responses here, I had to laugh as someone said they "hate these kinds of discussions" and then gave very lengthy response whilst others responded in a way that can only mean THEY didn't read the post properly - not a criticism as it proves my point beautifully when considering the amount of information to take in at the start of this process when directed here, there and everywhere.

- so yes... it certainly does take all sorts. I would think that it makes sense to reply to posts one wants to reply to and not reply to those of no interest - perhaps i am missing something here but responding to what one feel demands a "spoon feeding" reply just to be terse or "show them" in some way seems a little odd and, (dare i say it without someone responding with "I hate answering posts about spoon feeding with terse replies" before delivering a tome) juvenile.

[almaty 19]

I think sometimes many new members want the answers and the process spoon-fed to them. This is not a helpdesk...we can help each other out, but it's up to the individual to take full responsibility byfamiliarizing him/herself with the process.

amen sister lisa

[Uzume 0]

I must say that most people are wonderful on here, but SOME sound rude and irritable when answering new people's questions (you know who you are) and I, for one, feel saddened by this when I see it.

Some of us are just rude and irritable by nature Don't take it too much to heart.

*LOL* I'm not that thin skinned, just wanted to make a point. Thanks for making me laugh

[Fandango 1,439]

I think sometimes many new members want the answers and the process spoon-fed to them. This is not a helpdesk...we can help each other out, but it's up to the individual to take full responsibility byfamiliarizing him/herself with the process.

amen sister lisa

Ty Dean, but now I've flip-flopped to the other side thanks to Tmma's post. So here's a big ME TOO to her

Even though I still feel how I wrote above, Tmma's post has made me see that no one's forcing anyone to respond....and that's the point, I guess

[Uzume 0]

I think sometimes many new members want the answers and the process spoon-fed to them. This is not a helpdesk...we can help each other out, but it's up to the individual to take full responsibility byfamiliarizing him/herself with the process.

amen sister lisa

Don't answer them then, do something else. I'm sure no-one asks a question just to annoy you in particular!

[MissStacey 1]

When I first joined I was a complete nutcase. Trying to find answers about Immigration can really be a nightmare. I had been led down so many different roads and given so much conflicting advice, I didn't know what to do. There is so much to learn about this process- I will always have questions. Some things I may not know even after reading the Guides. The guides are great, but advice and opinions from others who have been through it is better. Also sometimes I may know the answer but still need confirmation about it.

When I first joined here- it took some time to get to know the Board as well. Back then I didn't know the difference between CR1 and K3 and K1,etc so I didn't always know where and how to post.

I am pretty patient with newcomers, I know what it is like to feel so lost and hopeless.

Besides, what ever happened to the old saying "No question is a dumb question?"

[Uzume 0]

Well, the thing that I have noticed is that when a member here DOES respond politely, takes time to write a reply and gives great information, that there is quite a lot of the newer members who don't take the time to thank that person either.

It's a two way street IMO; it goes both ways (obviously!).

The other thing I find is that the guides are just that, a guide. They shouldn't be quoted here there and everywhere as the golden ticket to USCIS. They should be used alongside other information, mainly from the USCIS sites. Yet they are treated as the be all and end all by some. Yes, they are helpful, they helped me, but they are not the only source of information available.

Excellent points there Mags, thanks for that (taking your point on board there....eh?)

But seriously, i think your point about the "guides" is a great one and just because they are there (an useful as they may be), other people on here may have different experiences, comments, ways of doing things etc etc.... otherwise what is the point of having this forum? why not just have the guides on a site and no way of communicating at all???

[Uzume 0]

When I first joined I was a complete nutcase. Trying to find answers about Immigration can really be a nightmare. I had been led down so many different roads and given so much conflicting advice, I didn't know what to do. There is so much to learn about this process- I will always have questions. Some things I may not know even after reading the Guides. The guides are great, but advice and opinions from others who have been through it is better. Also sometimes I may know the answer but still need confirmation about it.

When I first joined here- it took some time to get to know the Board as well. Back then I didn't know the difference between CR1 and K3 and K1,etc so I didn't always know where and how to post.

I am pretty patient with newcomers, I know what it is like to feel so lost and hopeless.

Besides, what ever happened to the old saying "No question is a dumb question?"

Here here!!! You and me both (nutcases that is!) I felt totally lost and miserable when starting this process (apart from the excitement of what I am trying to achieve with my fiance of course). I am planning a wedding and a huge life change by moving across the atlantic, leaving all of my family and friends (including my son) behind. I feel like I have an imaginary friend because I am doing it all on my own as the time we can spend together is so limited. When i found this site, as you will see from my first ever post, I was overjoyed. All it took was for some dimwit to become annoyed when i added a post asking about february NOA 1s and received a very disappointing response from one person. Although all the others ranged from OK to fantastic, that one kept making feel that even here I was isolated.

Basically, if someone is actually taking the time to write "CHECK THE TIMELINES", how much more effort anf time does it take to write something along the lines of "welcome, you may find that the timelines and other info on here will help to answer your questions". An extra 2 seconds? If that?

Anyway, my summarised point about all of this is: If new posts which seem obvious are just SOOOOO offensive to those who, quite frankly do seem to have an awful lot of time to answer so many "obvious" questions, then click onto something else and don't bother with it. I am sure we would all be much happer getting one polite post directing us to the areas we need than 6,7,8, capitalised posts ordering us around and sounding very unfriendly. It would be interesting to know exactly how these people found things when they started and just how many "stupid" questions they really asked at the start!!

This post wasn't just started due to my experience, it was in response to other posts I have read to others questions and as we are all here for the same reason, it can't hurt to be nice as sometimes it is the more cutting things which stay on one's mind.

Thankfully, as I have said, most of you are pretty damn gorgeous and I thank you for all your positivity and generosity.

[rebeccajo 14]

Belonging to a message board community is a lot like life.

a. Look both ways before you cross the street.

b. Always buckle your seatbelt.

c. Read before assembly.

d. Do unto others.

e. May be hazardous to your health.

f. Don't sweat the small stuff.