Fiance Not On Board With K-1 Process?

[David & Diana R 1,005]

This fiance of yours sound very bored or lackadaisical .  All I can tell you is my wife was in the Philippines (we did a CR-1) and she ran around all over the place gathering documents.  She spent hours in line at government offices, having to go back several times to every office. She had to fly to the island where she was born 3 times to get her birth certificate.  And she and I were so excited we couldn't wait to get everything prepared.  There's something wrong here.  And seriously, who works 72 hours per week?  That might not be totally true.  Someone is getting cold feet.  I wouldn't go further if I were you.  Sorry this is happening to you.  Good luck, God Bless and Merry Christmas,  david

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

As someone said before, it takes two-to-tango, but I know how you're feeling.  While showing the visa paperwork to my fiancé, and even asking her about things in general, I really don't get much response from her.  My fiancé has a hard time showing emotion, and it's hard to read her sometimes.  the attitude can annoy me at times, but it doesn't make me doubt anything about the relationship.  I'm not sure of this is the same with your fiancé, but it could be, no? 

 

Now if you honestly feel that he's losing interest in the relationship, that's a whole other story.  Of course long distant relationships are hard, and our minds wander from time to time, but definitely get the facts before filing for the visa.  Best of luck to both of you! Rant over :)  

[slk1995 4]

8 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

Oh honey, you are still living with your parents, don't make enough to sponsor him yourself, and they aren't supportive?  It sounds like maybe this is just not the time for this relationship.  Where are you going to live and how are you going to support yourselves after he arrives?

 

Trust you me, there are so many great guys out there who will be completely into you and you'll have no doubts about moving on to the next stage of life together.  For the moment, it seems like you may need to turn your attention domestically.

Okay, again..there's a whole other part of this story. 

 

I was living out of the house for 10 months. I only moved back in July because I was living with a crazy woman who'd threaten to hit me, etc. So I had the only choice of going back to my parents', at that point. Or staying there and who knows what else. 

[slk1995 4]

OKAY, EVERYONE. Let me most a major, in general response to everyone's comments. 

 

I talked with him last night about the issues. And yes, the answer is correct: he is unsure of the K-1, due to the fact he'll have to wait awhile before he can work. 

 

So I'm not sure. I appreciate all the insight, but I've just got to decide how to move on on my own. Or maybe go to Sydney for a month or so, if this full time job offer isn't made for me tomorrow. 

[Ontarkie 14,218]

~~Two non conductive posts removed. If you cannot help the OP do not Post. Anymore such posts will result in suspension.~~

[David & Diana R 1,005]

3 minutes ago, slk1995 said:

OKAY, EVERYONE. Let me most a major, in general response to everyone's comments. 

 

I talked with him last night about the issues. And yes, the answer is correct: he is unsure of the K-1, due to the fact he'll have to wait awhile before he can work. 

 

So I'm not sure. I appreciate all the insight, but I've just got to decide how to move on on my own. Or maybe go to Sydney for a month or so, if this full time job offer isn't made for me tomorrow. 

CR-1...  He could work almost immediately upon arriving in US.  But I would be willing to bet he will be unwilling to put in the work required for that either.

[RJandHamid 1,133]

If working immediately is important to him (and you), then get married and file a CR1 spousal visa. If money is an issue, maybe he can help you out with a plane ticket to Australia? Or he could come here, marry you, and return to Australia to wait out the CR1 process. During the wait, you could work on getting that full time job (so you might not need a co-sponsor), moving out of your parents home, ect. 

 

My husband and I are currently living with my parents now as well and we are waiting eagerly for his work authorization to arrive. In hindsight, we should have done the CR1 spousal visa so we wouldn't have this wait, but at least we are together. 

 

Certainly make sure that you are both in this 100% before you get married however. It takes effort from both people in the relationship to make things work. I live in the Chicagoland area and I'm happy to lend an ear if you ever feel the need to vent about the process with someone. 

[slk1995 4]

1 hour ago, David & Zoila said:

CR-1...  He could work almost immediately upon arriving in US.  But I would be willing to bet he will be unwilling to put in the work required for that either.

EXACTLY! That's my point I will most definitely be making. Just "getting married and waiting" doesn't dodge paperwork. At all. 

[usmsbow 801]

I'm 100% ignorant on Australia immigrant laws, but is there a reason why you don't move there instead? As a couple others noted, it is probably harder for him to move than you. When I was 22, I sought out opportunities to live and work abroad. As I quickly approach 40? Not really. I have a job that is very America-centric, a homeowner, etc. And if I were in my 50s, I'd be even more skeptical about moving, unless I worked a in a profession with global demand (such as nursing).

 

I'm not excusing him nor advocating for you two to work things out, but if I were him, I don't think I'd be very thrilled about moving to another country, no matter how much I was in love. Instead, I'd definitely be doing what I could to encourage my significant other to move to where I was. It doesn't sound like he's done that though either...

 

  

[Thegirl 225]

Seems like he's the one really putting thought into this. How are you going to support him? You had to live with roommates etc and now you're with your parents, you are 22 years old only lived on your own for 10 months but you want to spend over $2000 to bring him here where you can't support him and he can't support you. That really wouldn't make much sense. I'd suggest working on the relationship a little longer or of you are absolutely certain you both want to get married then get married and file a CR1... Or wait until you're more settled, independent. I certainly wouldn't move to the US as a grown man to come live with you and your parents.... 

[CheeseMonstah 87]

Come on, pretty clear what you need to do here, and getting involved with USCIS is not it.

 

Good luck!

[Andsco 89]

22 hours ago, slk1995 said:

Hey VJ family, 

 

I need some general advice. Any experiences or stories you may have would be totally appreciated as well. I'm the American, preparing to begin the I-129 process for the K-1. But, I'm getting a little skeptical and scared... 

 

Every time I bring up the step by step process to the paperwork I'd be filing on my end, he doesn't seem to budge or act at all. The first step for him personally is talking with his American friends about possibly co-sponsoring. Once that's settled, I'll be good to make sure filling this all out will actually be worth the time.  I can't get through the first form WITHOUT the documentation that's required (his passport picture, letter of intent, his sons' addresses, etc) . He works 6 days a week, 12 hour days. Opposite time zones play a major role into this as well. He's in Australia. I've tried talking to him about what I will need, but lately he hasn't been participating in the process....so, now I'm questioning things. He just doesn't seem to be on board with taking some time once a week (his off day) for us to work on the petition. My ideal goal was to hopefully get it completed and sent to USCIS after the holidays. I no longer know what to do. I don't think he is on board with putting in the work with me to make this start happening. I honestly think he's hoping that I'll basically be the full time secretary...alone. I think he is beyond frustrated with the reality of how complex this process/our situation really is. Also, we barely call anymore, due to his roommate disliking the idea of me. So, I'm not sure if he is running, or is honestly just pausing to really think and prepare for this mentally. 

 

Has anyone ever went through this with their partner? Should I be running, or should I just fill in on what I can...until I somehow get his required parts for the petition? If any of you went through this with your foreign partner, how did you overcome it, or ditch it altogether? I plan to politely address this with him further tonight when he is awake. Any thoughts/comments are greatly needed. 

Well my opinion is that he is either trying to avoid the issue or he's trying to mentally accept the change. You said that he has a son, right? Maybe that's one of the problems. Maybe he's worried about him or, if the mother is from Australia, that she might try to do something. 

At this point, do not waste energy on filling anything yet and just sit down and talk. Do not pressure him too much with the issue but clearly it is a long process and you guys should start asap. How about if you ask him about his work, how everything is going, give him some other type of conversation and then tell him that you have been worried and from there..maybe you guys can figure things out?

I can understand that he works long hours and really often but at the same time I think there should be a second in his day where he should be capable of going to the post office and send a couple of papers or at least someone doing so for him? 

Finally, I would ask him if he's fine coming to the US, if he's ready to get married or if he would rather have you moving there. When I got engaged with my now husband, we talked about all these things and just because I speak the language and he does not speak mine (he's a teacher here in the US so if he moved to my city in Spain he would be required to learn 2 languages) we decided that I would come and live here with him. I miss my city, my food, my family but I miss him even more and I would not change anything as long as I have him with me. (if you go through the 5-7 months of waiting for the K1 visa, you'll understand even more that feeling because I became frustrated with the entire thing). 

So with that said, do not worry (at least just yet) sit down with him and have a long and calm conversation where you both can agree in something. 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

I don't think you need immigration advice, you need relationship advice. I would just like tell you that if everyone who is loves you and cares about you is against the relationship, maybe they see something in him that you don't. Maybe your parents and your friends that have known you for a long time and deeply care can see things more objectively. If they all have the same opinion about a man you're dating, it's most likely that they're right and they're looking out for you. If it was just one person, then you could explain it with jealousy /prejudice, whatever. But everyone that loves you and cares about you hates him? Probably he's the issue. 

[yuna628 9,671]

OP: Here's the thing, at his age even if you do a K1 and apply for AOS after marriage and wait for his working documents or get married and go for a spousal visa and he enters with the ability to work right away --  there is no guarantee he can find a job right away, let alone various other factors we don't know like what skills he has... and if his older age might put him at a disadvantage. Immigrants tend to have to start small and work their way up when they arrive here and can start working. It took my husband a long time to find a job, even at his young age, experience, and degree. Without all the thousands in savings we had set aside to be prepared there's no way we'd have managed and it was hard when you factor in the expense of health insurance too. At his older age, he would certainly not want to chance being without health insurance as some younger ones do.

 

You don't sound as if you are in a stable place financially right now, but in other ways as well.. considering living arrangements and an emotional support system. I can't guide you to the right path, but it doesn't sound like this relationship is going to move forward unless you give it a lot more time, make some serious job changes, are 100% he actually gives a darn (and starts acting like it), and are in a better place for yourself psychologically. If I were in your shoes, I'd focus on yourself and getting yourself in a better situation.

[OutOfThisWorld 87]

Australians that do not like to talk? Something is seriously wrong.

Them Australians cannot fill the car with gas (excuse me, petrol) without stopping to chat with gas station (excuse me, petrol station) attendant for half an hour or so.

But anyway, you absolutely cannot go through this process by yourself. It requires full dedication of both parties.