221g embassy problems

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

Actually, what is the purpose you entering this process?

 

K-1 visa means that both of you intend to get married. Yes, you are aware of the costs involved in this process. However, are you willing to invest in that cost?

Let me conclude from what you told us before. You guys are together for 3 months, however, during that time it is not a serious relationship yet, it explained why there is not even a single photo together. When did you submit the petition then? Because it seems it is not serious relationship during the time you guys together. Then he goes back to his country, you found out that he has gf there. But you still pursuing with the K-1, he wants to take a photo together and wants you to pay for the trip, you refuse. So, when these relationships become a serious relationship actually?

 

Are you in love with him?

 

You are 37 years old women. If you want a serious relationship, you want someone that you can spend the rest of your life with, why you get involved with this guy? And until now you still try to bring him to States. Why you get involved with someone that from the beginning lying to you and jobless (lazy to work). And why are you still fighting to bring him with you?

 

You refuse to pay for the trip because you don’t trust him. So, why you still want to be in this process since you are the one who said that you don’t want to waste your time. Even the congressman can help you, you need to ask yourself, are you really want him. Are you really ready to support him financially when he’s there if now, you don’t even want to support him for the trip?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Often times people will come on VJ and ask "why didn't the embassy/USCIS catch this scammer before they came to the United States" and the answer is well, that is mostly your job.  Look at the facts:

 

He isn't working and wants you pay for things.

You are a single mother, a common scammer target.

He had a girlfriend when you visited.  What is stopping him from dumping you like a hot potato once he has his greencard and marrying her instead?  Pretty much nothing and you'll be financially liable for him.

The CO doesn't think there is enough evidence of your genuine relationship.

 

For the sake of your children, you really need to think about the type of man you are bringing into their lives.  Just based on what you've told us, and from someone who was also a single mother, this doesn't sound like a decent and quality man.  

 

 

[Mgwlkr 41]

5 minutes ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

Actually, what is the purpose you entering this process?

 

K-1 visa means that both of you intend to get married. Yes, you are aware of the costs involved in this process. However, are you willing to invest in that cost?

Let me conclude from what you told us before. You guys are together for 3 months, however, during that time it is not a serious relationship yet, it explained why there is not even a single photo together. When did you submit the petition then? Because it seems it is not serious relationship during the time you guys together. Then he goes back to his country, you found out that he has gf there. But you still pursuing with the K-1, he wants to take a photo together and wants you to pay for the trip, you refuse. So, when these relationships become a serious relationship actually?

 

Are you in love with him?

 

You are 37 years old women. If you want a serious relationship, you want someone that you can spend the rest of your life with, why you get involved with this guy? And until now you still try to bring him to States. Why you get involved with someone that from the beginning lying to you and jobless (lazy to work). And why are you still fighting to bring him with you?

 

You refuse to pay for the trip because you don’t trust him. So, why you still want to be in this process since you are the one who said that you don’t want to waste your time. Even the congressman can help you, you need to ask yourself, are you really want him. Are you really ready to support him financially when he’s there if now, you don’t even want to support him for the trip?

Clearly you didn't understand most of what I've said  

 

[Mgwlkr 41]

6 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

Often times people will come on VJ and ask "why didn't the embassy/USCIS catch this scammer before they came to the United States" and the answer is well, that is mostly your job.  Look at the facts:

 

He isn't working and wants you pay for things.

You are a single mother, a common scammer target.

He had a girlfriend when you visited.  What is stopping him from dumping you like a hot potato once he has his greencard and marrying her instead?  Pretty much nothing and you'll be financially liable for him.

The CO doesn't think there is enough evidence of your genuine relationship.

 

For the sake of your children, you really need to think about the type of man you are bringing into their lives.  Just based on what you've told us, and from someone who was also a single mother, this doesn't sound like a decent and quality man.  

 

 

He was living here in the us.   I did not go visit him.    

[TNJ17 1,329]

I don’t believe anyone is judging you. But like others have said. Trust your instincts. If you see this being a problem in the future, it is more than ok to be cautious about it. Especially with something so big like this. It sucks that you have to cash it out of your own pocket, but if that’s what it takes to get what you want, why not? But you need to be sure. And 37 isn’t old. You are still very young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. Don’t just be getting a k1 without being sure of the relationship just because you think you’re not young. You’re still young. 

[Mgwlkr 41]

37 is old to have another child 

[BlueSapphire 4]

1 minute ago, Mgwlkr said:

37 is old to have another child 

Stop this process here and just move on then.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

2 hours ago, Mgwlkr said:

Well it does sound harsh since you don't know our story and you are making general assumptions.    If either of us travel to get additional photos for the approval neither of us will be able yo afford the aos etc.

We have spent 3 months together in person.   That should be more than enough for an approval

 

I am seeking advice on how to escalate the issue 

 

I am VERY aware of the costs involved in the process and how marriage works.    I am however not willing to put my life on hold for another year and a half to wait for approval after marriage 

Proof of meeting.   Everything minus a photo together.  Very long story I will not publish here for fear of personal attacks 

You can escalate a marriage visa and really pick a fight with the embassy.

 

You can't do anything to escalate a fiancé visa.

 

[TNJ17 1,329]

4 minutes ago, Mgwlkr said:

37 is old to have another child 

I don’t agree with that either. But to each their own. 

[JFH 12,190]

1 hour ago, Mgwlkr said:

He has financial problems and because I have reservations I'm not inclined to solve them for him.   As stated earlier I knew if I gave all the details I'd get attacked.    Yes emotions are running high.  I've wasted a year and half of my life to get here because he wouldnt listen when he was here.    Which I've told him But he won't leave me alone and insists I should pay toresolve this because he's a poor boy from serbia that i need. (Some more truth for everyone)

And this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and have selected as a step-father for your children? This is how you speak of him and how you feel about the process of being together? Sounds like you think that he and the process are burdens. 

 

The 221g could be a blessing in disguise.

 

His financial problems will also be your financial problems when you're married.  

[Mgwlkr 41]

3 minutes ago, JFH said:

And this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and have selected as a step-father for your children? This is how you speak of him and how you feel about the process of being together? Sounds like you think that he and the process are burdens. 

 

The 221g could be a blessing in disguise.

 

His financial problems will also be your financial problems when you're married.  

As i stated earlier.  I'm not getting into everything.   His financial issues are his choice.   They are njot something he has had no control over 

The process is a burden.  I know it's meant to weed out fraud but I'm sure it's destroyed as many people as its protected 

I'm one that is being destroyed.   That is my opinion and I am entitled toit.  Not need to comment if you disagree 

[Mina90 134]

Just now, Mgwlkr said:

As i stated earlier.  I'm not getting into everything.   His financial issues are his choice.   They are njot something he has had no control over 

The process is a burden.  I know it's meant to weed out fraud but I'm sure it's destroyed as many people as its protected 

I'm one that is being destroyed.   That is my opinion and I am entitled toit.  Not need to comment if you disagree 

I think you should ask yourself what is your goal? Do you really love this man? Enough to invest time, effort, money into his immigration? You don't talk well about this person yet you are intent on bringing him here. I think you are actually fighting off your gut feeling which is why your responses are coming off conflicted. You should listen to your gut feeling.

 

If you don't like what others have suggested for you here, it's your decision ultimately to do as you wish (whether you continue your attempts to bring him or just leave him). Lots of great advice given here.

 

FYI, telling other members not to post/comment is against the VJ TOS. 

[JFH 12,190]

1 minute ago, Mgwlkr said:

As i stated earlier.  I'm not getting into everything.   His financial issues are his choice.   They are njot something he has had no control over 

The process is a burden.  I know it's meant to weed out fraud but I'm sure it's destroyed as many people as its protected 

I'm one that is being destroyed.   That is my opinion and I am entitled toit.  Not need to comment if you disagree 

As I said on your other thread (when you said the reason for not having any photos together was your choice because you don't like having your picture taken, now it's because he was scared of being busted because of his girlfriend at the time), if you post your story publicly you have to be prepared for reactions that you don't like. I would also remind you that telling others not to post is against the TOS of this website and can result in administrative action being taken against your account. 

 

Yes the process is a burden. I've been through it. We also had a denial for my husband's UK visa (our first choice was to live in the U.K.) before we went through this. It took 2 years of paperwork to be together. And I'm almost 44. But you should love each other more than you hate the process. Then you'll get through it. 

[mytruelove18 608]

9 minutes ago, Mgwlkr said:

I want to be with him.  But he hasn't done anything to show me he wants to do any hard work to be with me.   Im not a cash cow and im not here to solve his problems for him. He had over a yr to work and save and he hasn't worked a single day

When he was here and when he met as stated before we were just having fun. We were not a "couple and we didnt know our relationship needed documentation.  Trust me I already feel like a piece of  for being used.  I dont need help.  I need this to be fixed or over 

Sorry for your situation, embassy is working for you, even God is working for you, even you dont belive they arent working.

Many times we want something in our life but that isnt going to be our happiness, the life sometimes try to ñut that out fron us.

On 2014 i did a k1, i went to interview and i was approved but i was put under 221 ap, it was very hard handle that, the long ap destroyed my relationship, after 2 years of long ap, but now i can say it was the best thing that happen, last year i met a nice man and now i am so happy with him.

Maybe the best thing that can happen is the long ap, you gad sais he didnt make any effort to be with you.

 

[Mgwlkr 41]

6 minutes ago, JFH said:

As I said on your other thread (when you said the reason for not having any photos together was your choice because you don't like having your picture taken, now it's because he was scared of being busted because of his girlfriend at the time), if you post your story publicly you have to be prepared for reactions that you don't like. I would also remind you that telling others not to post is against the TOS of this website and can result in administrative action being taken against your account. 

 

Yes the process is a burden. I've been through it. We also had a denial for my husband's UK visa (our first choice was to live in the U.K.) before we went through this. It took 2 years of paperwork to be together. And I'm almost 44. But you should love each other more than you hate the process. Then you'll get through it. 

 yeah last time I tried to protect him by making it my fault we didnt Have photos.    Oh well still get attacked either way.   I dont care about vj tos. I have a right to say dont attack me.   If you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. Isnt that what we teach our children?

4 minutes ago, mytruelove18 said:

Sorry for your situation, embassy is working for you, even God is working for you, even you dont belive they arent working.

Many times we want something in our life but that isnt going to be our happiness, the life sometimes try to ñut that out fron us.

On 2014 i did a k1, i went to interview and i was approved but i was put under 221 ap, it was very hard handle that, the long ap destroyed my relationship, after 2 years of long ap, but now i can say it was the best thing that happen, last year i met a nice man and now i am so happy with him.

Maybe the best thing that can happen is the long ap, you gad sais he didnt make any effort to be with you.

 

I don't believe in god.  I believe religion is a crutch created by man to justify the things he doesn't understand