221g embassy problems

[Naes 12,205]

7 minutes ago, Mgwlkr said:

He cant afford to travel to this continent.  We were just hanging out when he was here it wasn't serious and after he went home I found out he had a gf there wh8ch would explain why he didn't want to take pictures

Go ahead tell me I'm stupid for perusing this

Now he wants me to pay for him to travel so we can take photos

I refuse 

My point is the embassy is part of the us govt for us citizens correct?  So why aren't they working for me?

I'm really sorry but, that embassy is literally working for you

 

You know if he comes with K1, you are supposed to say that you are going to take care of him for at least till he gets his EAD.

you are responsible for him on not needing public assistance.

 

You are financially responsible for this.

 

You are marrying him,and refusing to pay for him? 

 

If you don't trust this relationship in a financial way, why would your embassy put you or their country in a case they can't be sure.

[Mgwlkr 41]

4 minutes ago, Naes said:

I'm really sorry but, that embassy is literally working for you

 

You know if he comes with K1, you are supposed to say that you are going to take care of him for at least till he gets his EAD.

you are responsible for him on not needing public assistance.

 

You are financially responsible for this.

 

You are marrying him,and refusing to pay for him? 

 

If you don't trust this relationship in a financial way, why would your embassy put you or their country in a case they can't be sure.

I get that and I plan to spend time  making sure before I say I do

[Naes 12,205]

Just now, Mgwlkr said:

I get that and I plan to spend time  making sure before I say I do

But then for the first step either he needs to come or you need to go. as you can't go he should come. and if needed and you believe in this relationship you need to bring him.

Because pictures are secondary evidence at the I-129f  but refusal of K1 because of lack there of at the embassy stage is a regular occurrence, refusal because you guys didn't meet enough is also normal.

 

This is basically all you can do.

 

Or get married and apply for a CR1, but you still need to meet somewhere..

 

[Mgwlkr 41]

27 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

Can you bring your child with you? (I was a single mom too)

 

What evidence of meeting have you provided the embassy?

Concert tickets. Uber receipts.  Photos of us in the same place but not together which the co requested.    No traveling there with two kids isn't an option  and I wont leave them 

[Clara B. 119]

What about pictures that you are together with friends? Dont you have any? 

If you are able to find some, you could have those friends write affidavits to send with the pictures.

[Mgwlkr 41]

9 minutes ago, Naes said:

But then for the first step either he needs to come or you need to go. as you can't go he should come. and if needed and you believe in this relationship you need to bring him.

Because pictures are secondary evidence at the I-129f  but refusal of K1 because of lack there of at the embassy stage is a regular occurrence, refusal because you guys didn't meet enough is also normal.

 

This is basically all you can do.

 

Or get married and apply for a CR1, but you still need to meet somewhere..

 

I told him he can find the money and come get the photos or not but I'm not waiting another yr plus to be together.  I'm 37yrs old.  I dont have time for games not from him or the embassy

3 minutes ago, Clara Monteiro said:

What about pictures that you are together with friends? Dont you have any? 

If you are able to find some, you could have those friends write affidavits to send with the pictures.

We have written affidavits from friends 

Edited December 3, 2017 by Mgwlkr

[gregcrs2 1,778]

Good grief girl!  The embassy is not playing games with you.  There are requirements for the K-1 and both of you have not fulfilled the requirements.  I am going to be rather blunt about this.  It does not matter that you and your fiancé feels you've provided enough to the embassy.  What matters is what the embassy requires.  As others have stated, you don't have any recourse but to provide what is asked.  Emotions are running high and that's why you feel like you are being picked on.  From what I've read here, the best advice I could give is that you should seriously just cut your losses.  Financial problems are typically the biggest reasons behind failed relationships.    

[Mgwlkr 41]

4 minutes ago, gregcrs2 said:

Good grief girl!  The embassy is not playing games with you.  There are requirements for the K-1 and both of you have not fulfilled the requirements.  I am going to be rather blunt about this.  It does not matter that you and your fiancé feels you've provided enough to the embassy.  What matters is what the embassy requires.  As others have stated, you don't have any recourse but to provide what is asked.  Emotions are running high and that's why you feel like you are being picked on.  From what I've read here, the best advice I could give is that you should seriously just cut your losses.  Financial problems are typically the biggest reasons behind failed relationships.    

#1.   I'm not a "girl.  I'm a woman.    He has financial problems and because I have reservations I'm not inclined to solve them for him.   As stated earlier I knew if I gave all the details I'd get attacked.    Yes emotions are running high.  I've wasted a year and half of my life to get here because he wouldnt listen when he was here.    Which I've told him But he won't leave me alone and insists I should pay toresolve this because he's a poor boy from serbia that i need. (Some more truth for everyone)

[Latonia 29]

yes your situation is very clear....one of the most important to send is pictures together but maybe you need to be a little careful with this because you said he had a gf and that explains why he did not want to take pictures while you was together.....but the CO needs to see you two together on pictures but if your mind is made up to not going back to his country to take pictures then the K1 is a waste right now...no advice we give here on VJ will escalate the K1 visa for you....calling the congressman or senator will not make this better....im sorry but the CO told you what they need and sometimes this happens after a visa interview...if they need more documents they will tell you and they told your fiance what they need and he has to provide it so the sooner you get it the better it will be for the K1 decision 

[TNJ17 1,329]

People are not attacking you. Everyone is simply just giving their opinion on the matter. My honest opinion is if you’re applying for a K1 visa, your sole intent is to be married to this person and build a life together because you both love each other very much. Going through this process isn’t easy. There are a lot of ups and down and it will challenge your relationship. But if your purpose is to be together then whatever challenge you encounter you will master through it. When two people decide to build a life together they decide to support one another no matter what. If he can’t afford a ticket to come to you, if the relationship is important enough for you then you pay for it. You do whatever it takes. It won’t be like this forever, because once he files for AOS and EAD after it’s all processed, he can start working and your financial troubles will be done. Everyone going into this process knows it’s very costly but if the desire to be together is bigger than all your fears and worries about everything then you know you just need to fight a little harder. The embassy isn’t playing games with you. They are doing their job. You were asked to provide photos together and you didn’t. That’s an automatic red flag. Why wouldn’t a real couple have photos together? You say he had a gf before while you were together. Well it’s not like you would have to flaunt those pictures together to the world. You could have private pictures that only you and he could have access to it. That would have solved your problem. But that is water under the bridge now. If you care about this person enough to be together, you’d make the sacrifice. But when you say things like “I refuse to pay for him to visit”, or “I’ve wasted a year and a half of my life” then it sounds like your mind is pretty made up on this relationship. 

[Mgwlkr 41]

I want to be with him.  But he hasn't done anything to show me he wants to do any hard work to be with me.   Im not a cash cow and im not here to solve his problems for him. He had over a yr to work and save and he hasn't worked a single day

When he was here and when he met as stated before we were just having fun. We were not a "couple and we didnt know our relationship needed documentation.  Trust me I already feel like a piece of  for being used.  I dont need help.  I need this to be fixed or over 

[TNJ17 1,329]

1 minute ago, Mgwlkr said:

I want to be with him.  But he hasn't done anything to show me he wants to do any hard work to be with me.   Im not a cash cow and im not here to solve his problems for him. He had over a yr to work and save and he hasn't worked a single day

When he was here and when he met as stated before we were just having fun. We were not a "couple and we didnt know our relationship needed documentation.  Trust me I already feel like a piece of  for being used.  I dont need help.  I need this to be fixed or over 

Then there’s your answer. If you wanna be together more than anything, fullfil the embassy requirements. Once you do that’s it. 

[TNJ17 1,329]

I hate to say this, because I don’t know all the facts about why he hasn’t had a job, among any other things you might have a problem with, none of my business, but if you think he’s just using you for a green card then there’s your answer too. You need to be sure about your relationship way before you start this process. You have to trust each other completely. And also, by getting married his financial troubles will be your financial troubles to some extent. So you need to think long and hard if the love for this person is worth all that you are willing to change about your life and all the risks you are taking. 

[*Snowdrop* 604]

Trust your instincts. I think you have a feeling inside which is telling you that he isn't committed enough to you to be the kind of partner you need and step-father to your children. If he hasn't worked for a year or saved for something as important as immigrating to a new country, it's unlikely he will be very different when he is in America and married to you. 

 

He's showing you who he is. If you are okay with that then it's clear you are going to be the one supporting him and being the main breadwinner - if that's what you want that's perfectly okay. Send him the money to come and get the photos and any other evidence you need to convince the embassy. 

 

On the other hand - if your gut is telling you that this could be an unequal partnership which would make you unhappy then you have a different answer.

[Mgwlkr 41]

I'm lonely and set on having a partner.    But I'm certainly not desperate and he treats me like I am.   As statyed before.   I'm almost 37.  I dont have time to play games with him or wait on anyone.   Its nowor never.  Him or if need be someone else  (dont judge my need of companionship )