Divorce advice

[John_K78 0]

Good morning everyone, this is my situation in a nutshell: My fiancee came over from Spain a couple of months ago on a K-1 visa. We got married right away, within a couple of weeks. But it turned out to be a very bad idea. I rather not get into specifics, a lot of things have happened along the way. But I'll only say that my fiancee and I have mutually agreed to split up and go our separate ways. But I have a lot of questions, so your opinions would be grateful. By the way, we got married and live in NY, we have no kids, and my wife filed her Adjustment of Status a few weeks after we got married. However, my wife does not want to remain here in the U.S., she's made that very clear to me. She rather return to her country to be with her family and friends. Now, here are my questions:

1) What exactly is the first step towards getting divorced? Do we go to the courthouse we got married at? Or somewhere else?

2) If we both mutually agree to getting divorced, is a lawyer necessary?

3) Since my wife applied for Adjust. of Status, what effect does this have on our divorce? Or does it have any effect?

4) Finally, how long does the overall divorce process take place? As I mentioned, my wife does not want to remain here in the US, she wants to leave as soon as possible.

Thanks for your help.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

You have #3 backwards. The AOS will be binned due both to divorce, and beneficiary leaving US prior to receiving AP.

[Robor007 0]

1. My ex and I picked up a divorce packet at the local courthouse.

2. A lawyer is not necessary.

3. Not sure here. I would assume she would be canceling the process anyway?

4. I think it depends state to state. My ex and I filed paperwork and the entire process was finished in about 6 weeks.

[wherezdabearz 0]

If the divorce is amicable and you both agree on the settlement, you can do it without a lawyer. My husband and his ex-wife did so.

[GaryC 7]

My first marriage ended in divorce. We talked about what we both wanted, came to an agreement and put it on paper. We both took it to a lawyer and he put it into a legal form. He took it to the divorce court and filed it. We were divorced the next day. That's Illinois but I think it works the same in other states. As far as her immigrant status goes I doubt if it has anything to do with it. Good luck to you.

[Jasman0717 9]

She could just get on a plane and go home and her AOS would then be considered abandoned. You can file for divorce and claim abandonment. In some states, if you can't server the respondent, you can just publish the intent of divorce in the local newspaper and the divorce will be granted. Check with an attorney or legal aid society in your area. Good luck

[Fandango 1,440]

I prepared all my divorce documents. No lawyer, but then again, no messy stuff & no kids. I didn't want any of his stuff. Ex didn't want a divorce & refused to sign papers for at least a year...I didn't think we needed to go the whole 'contested divorce route' so I let him get his head round it, then when he still wouldn't sign, I told him I was going to sue him for alimony and half his company stock.

He signed, we filed...court date came around & the hearing was literally like 2 minutes long. VOILA! Freedom at last!

[John_K78 0]

She could just get on a plane and go home and her AOS would then be considered abandoned. You can file for divorce and claim abandonment. In some states, if you can't server the respondent, you can just publish the intent of divorce in the local newspaper and the divorce will be granted. Check with an attorney or legal aid society in your area. Good luck

Actually, I read about the Abandonment grounds in a NY state divorce booklet, but the abandonment had to take place at least a year ago. But we've been married for just a month and a half. In fact, all the grounds for divorce in NY had to happen at least a year ago, except the Cruel and Inhumane treatment ground. But that never happened in our situation, so now our situation looks even more bleak. Any tips?

[Fandango 1,440]

She could just get on a plane and go home and her AOS would then be considered abandoned. You can file for divorce and claim abandonment. In some states, if you can't server the respondent, you can just publish the intent of divorce in the local newspaper and the divorce will be granted. Check with an attorney or legal aid society in your area. Good luck

Actually, I read about the Abandonment grounds in a NY state divorce booklet, but the abandonment had to take place at least a year ago. But we've been married for just a month and a half. In fact, all the grounds for divorce in NY had to happen at least a year ago, except the Cruel and Inhumane treatment ground. But that never happened in our situation, so now our situation looks even more bleak. Any tips?

'irreconcilable differences'?

[John_K78 0]

She could just get on a plane and go home and her AOS would then be considered abandoned. You can file for divorce and claim abandonment. In some states, if you can't server the respondent, you can just publish the intent of divorce in the local newspaper and the divorce will be granted. Check with an attorney or legal aid society in your area. Good luck

Actually, I read about the Abandonment grounds in a NY state divorce booklet, but the abandonment had to take place at least a year ago. But we've been married for just a month and a half. In fact, all the grounds for divorce in NY had to happen at least a year ago, except the Cruel and Inhumane treatment ground. But that never happened in our situation, so now our situation looks even more bleak. Any tips?

'irreconcilable differences'?

In order to separate based on irreconcilable differences, we both have to sign a written agreement saying we want to divorce based on those grounds. Simple enough. However, at the same time, she or I would had to have lived apart for 1 year AFTER we signed that written agreement. I read this all in the NY state law regarding divorce grounds. Its much tougher than I thought...

[*JG* 2]

If it is amicable, you do not need a lawyer. I did my own first divorce and we even had a child involved. I found a website on the internet that charged me $150 for the papers needed for my particular state and included instruction on how to fill them out and what else I might need. I filled everything out online and printed it out. Then, turned it in at my local courthouse, where they led me from there. It took just a few months total and that included stupid "parenting" classes we had to participate in first.

[russ 1]

Since you both agree, and there is no money to divide, children or alimony, it is pretty easy.

You absolutely do not need a lawyer. Look here: http://www.courts.state.ny.us/ip/matrimoni...ers/forms.shtml Because of New Yorks quirky laws, you may want one anyway.

Look for a guide to civil procedures in New York State (every state has their own).

New York State does not have "No Fault" divorces. This means that you will need to sue,

and show cause for your divorce. Here are the reasons you can cite: (1) cruel and inhuman treatment; (2) abandonment; (3) imprisonment; (4) adultery; (5) living separate and apart pursuant to a separation judgment or decree; and (6) living separate and apart pursuant to a separation agreement.

This will take some time in New York State. In FL, you could be done in 30 days. Your best bet may be just letting your wife return to Spain. File for divorce (abandonment), have the papers served to her there, and then she can swear an affidavit admitting to the facts of your suit. (This will probably require appostilles, etc).

I'm not a lawyer. All of this may be totally wrong. This isn't legal advice.

1) What exactly is the first step towards getting divorced? Do we go to the courthouse we got married at? Or somewhere else?

2) If we both mutually agree to getting divorced, is a lawyer necessary?

3) Since my wife applied for Adjust. of Status, what effect does this have on our divorce? Or does it have any effect?

4) Finally, how long does the overall divorce process take place? As I mentioned, my wife does not want to remain here in the US, she wants to leave as soon as possible.

Thanks for your help.

[GaryC 7]

She could just get on a plane and go home and her AOS would then be considered abandoned. You can file for divorce and claim abandonment. In some states, if you can't server the respondent, you can just publish the intent of divorce in the local newspaper and the divorce will be granted. Check with an attorney or legal aid society in your area. Good luck

Actually, I read about the Abandonment grounds in a NY state divorce booklet, but the abandonment had to take place at least a year ago. But we've been married for just a month and a half. In fact, all the grounds for divorce in NY had to happen at least a year ago, except the Cruel and Inhumane treatment ground. But that never happened in our situation, so now our situation looks even more bleak. Any tips?

'irreconcilable differences'?

In order to separate based on irreconcilable differences, we both have to sign a written agreement saying we want to divorce based on those grounds. Simple enough. However, at the same time, she or I would had to have lived apart for 1 year AFTER we signed that written agreement. I read this all in the NY state law regarding divorce grounds. Its much tougher than I thought...

Three options here. In Illinois we were able to get a waiver for the 1 year apart requirerment. Maybe that can be had in your case. The other option is to get a divorce in a state that is easier. Maybe go to LasVegas? Third is to just let her leave and wait the year.

[Fandango 1,440]

She could just get on a plane and go home and her AOS would then be considered abandoned. You can file for divorce and claim abandonment. In some states, if you can't server the respondent, you can just publish the intent of divorce in the local newspaper and the divorce will be granted. Check with an attorney or legal aid society in your area. Good luck

Actually, I read about the Abandonment grounds in a NY state divorce booklet, but the abandonment had to take place at least a year ago. But we've been married for just a month and a half. In fact, all the grounds for divorce in NY had to happen at least a year ago, except the Cruel and Inhumane treatment ground. But that never happened in our situation, so now our situation looks even more bleak. Any tips?

'irreconcilable differences'?

In order to separate based on irreconcilable differences, we both have to sign a written agreement saying we want to divorce based on those grounds. Simple enough. However, at the same time, she or I would had to have lived apart for 1 year AFTER we signed that written agreement. I read this all in the NY state law regarding divorce grounds. Its much tougher than I thought...

Well then perhaps you won't be able to file for divorce for a year. There are some states like that. I dunno, I'm not an attorney or familiar with the laws in your state, so perhaps talking to an attorney might be the best idea.

[John_K78 0]

She could just get on a plane and go home and her AOS would then be considered abandoned. You can file for divorce and claim abandonment. In some states, if you can't server the respondent, you can just publish the intent of divorce in the local newspaper and the divorce will be granted. Check with an attorney or legal aid society in your area. Good luck

Actually, I read about the Abandonment grounds in a NY state divorce booklet, but the abandonment had to take place at least a year ago. But we've been married for just a month and a half. In fact, all the grounds for divorce in NY had to happen at least a year ago, except the Cruel and Inhumane treatment ground. But that never happened in our situation, so now our situation looks even more bleak. Any tips?

'irreconcilable differences'?

In order to separate based on irreconcilable differences, we both have to sign a written agreement saying we want to divorce based on those grounds. Simple enough. However, at the same time, she or I would had to have lived apart for 1 year AFTER we signed that written agreement. I read this all in the NY state law regarding divorce grounds. Its much tougher than I thought...

Three options here. In Illinois we were able to get a waiver for the 1 year apart requirerment. Maybe that can be had in your case. The other option is to get a divorce in a state that is easier. Maybe go to LasVegas? Third is to just let her leave and wait the year.

How did you get that waiver? Based on what? Also, I didnt know you can get divorced in another state. I was under the impression you had to divorce in the same state you married? So basically am I free to divorce anywhere I want in the US? Any catches?