Will The Mother of My Chile Be Deported?

[JFH 12,191]

12 hours ago, theodore23 said:

it is clear that she had a bonafide marriage from having multiple children prior to the marriage and has many documents that shows good faith marriage. Also, her going back to her country will also cause heartache on the children and hardship for herself since her home is a village with farm style living.

 

 

Having "multiple children" is not evidence of a bona fide marriage. It's evidence of working ovaries and uterus. Are you suggesting that couples who don't want to/can't have children are not genuinely in love? As someone else has mentioned, she has demonstrated the opposite - her marriage is anything but bona fide as she cheated on her husband and had a child with someone else whilst still married. The marriage vows obviously meant nothing to her. 

 

Farm-style living in a village kept her alive before she came here so why would it be a hardship to go back? 

 

I'm curious as to your status in the USA and your country of origin. Is it the same country as your girlfriend? 

[Boiler 46,132]

Also wondering what is wrong with being on a Farm.

 

Pesticides?

[mcdull 474]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

Also wondering what is wrong with being on a Farm.

 

Pesticides?

If America were to issue visas to every farm avoiders

 

This makes my day!

[gregcrs2 1,778]

OP, will you be financially supporting her and all her other children too when she gets divorced?

[Nitas_man 3,100]

20 minutes ago, gregcrs2 said:

OP, will you be financially supporting her and all her other children too when she gets divorced?

He'll probably stay married to her and smile every time they cash the many, many upcoming child support checks

Edited November 29, 2017 by Nitas_man

[DrEllaNJ 288]

if by "taking advantage" you mean that he's threatening her that she needs to move back to her country if she divorces him, you can tell her that that is wrong. She can divorce him, and change her petition into a petition with divorce waiver. 

Now whether she can divorce him if he doesn't agree depends a bit on the state she lives in. With the other kids in the mix, there will probably be custody and child support issues, etc. - so yes, she'll want to retain a family lawyer. 

[Boiler 46,132]

It is a mega commitment he is looking at.

 

Kudos to him taking it on, especially with her history.

[NikLR 13,232]

I feel like the forum has been shoved into a lifetime movie.   

 

Do what you gotta do to be a father I guess.  Her immigration may affect your child, if it is your child, but its her immigration not yours. 

[bakphx1 789]

Good luck with her.  Sounds like she honesty and wisdom are not her strong suits. 

[MeAlone 161]

She is a player. For some reason she wants to involve her lover in her drama. Get the paternity test, help her to divorce her husband and stay in US, marry her and watch her cheating on you the same she does now on her husband. Cheaters never change. Enjoy.

Edited November 29, 2017 by MeAlone

[maryLu 58]

What is your immigration situation?

 

[David & Diana R 1,005]

20 hours ago, theodore23 said:

Thank you responding with this info. The husband knows everything about this. I also know that he is taking advantage of this situation. The other 3 children are his for sure. Please is there anything that can be done?

 

Will she be in trouble if she came forth about all of this including her being pregnant? I just want to be able to resolve this.

OMG!  He's taking advantage of you?  You knocked up his wife and he is somehow at fault?  I have a feeling you are a troll because I can't imagine anyone being as cold and heartless as you are making yourself out to be.

[Shottayut 15]

Love is strong but this is a crazy situation. 

[JoannaV 174]

When you have a child in those circumstances you are not going to have the same kind of fatherhood experience as you would in another circumstance. That is sad and hard for you but it is the natural consequence of the preceding events.

 

It sounds like her husband wishes to keep his family together and is willing to father a fourth child that is not his in order to do so. Unfortunately, it sounds like he is being slightly manipulative and has the immigration situation as a useful tool to do so: stay with me and all your children, or leave the country. But it is what it is.

 

What does she want? Does she still have affection for her husband despite her relationship with you? Does she want to be with all her children above all else or would she accept shared custody without a fight? If the immigration issue did not exist, would she be divorcing him tomorrow or would she be in the midst of a messy attempt at reconciliation? (I think sometimes people stay married for immigration reasons, and other times people avoid working to mend a marriage due to immigration reasons. For ROC based on a bona fide marriage, you might choose fragile fake peace over real nitty gritty hashing out of marital issues and properly working through the question of whether to stay together or separate.)

 

Without hearing from her, it is hard to say what -she- should do. But. Honestly. My advice would be for you to step back. Give her space to evaluate her marital relationship without you there. Perhaps there will come a time in the future when she will be with you, but you want the road there to be as amicable as possible. The three of you are going to be parents for a long long time.

The worst case scenario from your perspective is NOT that the mother of your child gets deported. It is that the mother of your child AND YOUR CHILD get deported. ie her husband would say "yes she may take our youngest kid with her" and off they'd go.

 

How certain are you that a DNA test will show you are the father? (Ie, do you need the test to be sure who the biological father is, or do you only need the test to prove it?)

Have you consulted with a family law attorney in your state?