marriage situation

[maryland1992 0]

Hey guys, I'm new here...

Forgive me if I am not posting in the right thread but I hope I am. I really hope I can get some answers, thank you so much in advance.

Long story short...I married a US citizen in 2014, we first had him move to my country but that didn't work out so we applied for the finace visa and got approved. In 2014 we got married, in 2015 I received my green card for 2 years....now it will expire beginning of 2018...but I am in a strange situation because my marriage has gotten very bad and abusive (not physically abusive) and after several months and months of trying to make it work - it's just not. I have become severely depressed and I feel trapped, because my husband threatens to try and "Deport me" and/or hurt himself if I leave him. That is exactly what made me stay with him for all this time, our marriage began to mess up about a year ago or so. I don't know what to do...I feel threatened and enslaved, I would really like to just get a divorce and move on with my life but he says he will never give me a divorce...im seriously on the edge when it comes to my emotional/mental health and i need some suggestions/advice....

what can i even do at this point? i do want to stay in America - it has become my home and I have found a job I would like to make a career out of...but i literally feel like an object...and i feel like if i dont stay with him then i dont even deserve to be in this country - that's how he is making me feel....but i know i came here in good faith, i truly loved him and wanted to spend my life with him but things just became gradually worse and worse....

i didnt know where else to turn to so i decided to post here...any input and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. not even sure what the next step could be?

[Boiler 45,577]

You do not  need his permission to divorce, do so and move on.

[Coco8 1,042]

Well, when do you have to file for ROC? 

 

If you have been gathering information of bona fide marriage for these 2 years, and you are together, file for ROC. I am guessing you need to do as soon as possible since you got your card in 2015 and we are almost at the end of 2017. 

 

You do not have to stay together. You can file for divorce. But I would focus on ROC because you don't have much time left to send that. 

 

Divorced people file for ROC with divorce waiver all the time. But you don't have time to divorce since your Green Card is about to expire (I'm guessing from your dates).

[maryland1992 0]

Just now, Boiler said:

You do not  need his permission to divorce, do so and move on.

okay, well...can you guys give me some tips as to how i can go about that....like, won't it matter than my current green card expires in march of 2018? if i file for a divorce, will that not affect the green card stuff? i do wanna be able to stay here and eventually become a citizen

[maryland1992 0]

1 minute ago, Coco8 said:

Well, when do you have to file for ROC? 

 

If you have been gathering information of bona fide marriage for these 2 years, and you are together, file for ROC. I am guessing you need to do as soon as possible since you got your card in 2015 and we are almost at the end of 2017. 

 

You do not have to stay together. You can file for divorce. But I would focus on ROC because you don't have much time left to send that. 

 

Divorced people file for ROC with divorce waiver all the time. But you don't have time to divorce since your Green Card is about to expire (I'm guessing from your dates).

thank you for your reponse. so you are saying i should do the ROC first and then file for a divorce? i mean wouldnt that be lying in a way....that i will make it seem like we are a happy normal marriage to do ROC....when in fact we are not...and now that my husband is aware that i want a divorce, he might not want to help me with ROC....he's very childish and won't even talk to me about any of this.

[Ontarkie 14,236]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from AOS Family - As similar threads are discussed here.~~

[nightingalejules 678]

Collect all the evidence that you can before you leave - you should be able to do this on your own, with or without too much help from hubby.

• copies of both your state IDs 
• copies of health insurance/home insurance/car insurance that list both your names
• copies of lease/mortgage documents that list both your names
• copies of car loan documents (if applicable)
• every single statement of any joint bank accounts/credit cards (you may not send them all, but keep the rest just in case)
• copies of any bills (utilities, cell phones, etc) that have both your names on them
• photos of the two of you together
• copies of your tax transcripts (assuming you filed jointly) since you've been a resident
• if you are the beneficiary of any life insurance policies, etc, copies of that
• memberships to clubs/organizations you're both in (gym, AAA, etc)
• affidavits from people who know you as a couple and know that the marriage was real
• *this isn't everything you could possibly submit, but it should give you some good ideas. For more, look at the Removal Of Conditions Forum

Then start divorce proceedings. He won't be able to "deport you" or keep you from divorcing him. Here's a link that might help:

http://info.legalzoom.com/divorce-one-spouse-wont-agree-20206.html

 

Then file your Removal of Conditions with a divorce waiver. You must file before your green card expires, whether or not you have your divorce decree. Submit all the evidence you've gathered. In your cover letter, mention that you are filing with a divorce waiver, but that you do not have your divorce decree yet. 

 

You will get an RFE (request for evidence) from USCIS asking for your final divorce certificate. Fortunately (kind of), right now I-751s are ridiculously backed up, so you probably won't get that RFE for about a year, which gives you plenty of time to finalize the divorce and give USCIS your certificate.

 

Sorry this is happening, but you'll rise above it.

[Coco8 1,042]

4 hours ago, maryland1992 said:

thank you for your reponse. so you are saying i should do the ROC first and then file for a divorce? i mean wouldnt that be lying in a way....that i will make it seem like we are a happy normal marriage to do ROC....when in fact we are not...and now that my husband is aware that i want a divorce, he might not want to help me with ROC....he's very childish and won't even talk to me about any of this.

You have to file ROC within 90 days before your 2 year anniversary of getting the green card. If you got the green card in 2015 that should be now. I'm worried you are going to go past the expiration date, which is why I recommended focusing on ROC. 

 

He does not need to do anything for ROC. You have to fill in the paperwork and send it with the evidence. 

 

You can start divorce process but he won't sign the papers or he can delay that. I don't know how it would work. Maybe others know. 

 

I don't think that not filing for a divorce is lying. You have a bona fide marriage. That is what matters. And you have to do ROC within a specific timeline or you won't get the 10 year green card.

Edited November 21, 2017 by Coco8

[AussieTam 48]

So sorry you are going through such a scary situation.  

You came to America and married in good faith, you have lived as husband and wife for long enough.

Nobody deserves to be treated this way . Gather all the evidence you can. 

(Nightingalejules list)

Apply for your divorce and ROC. 

Him threatening to deport you and saying he will refuse divorce is abuse. 

Get legal help,  get divorce and ROC. 

Good luck

[javadown2 308]

I think if you searched the forums here you will find most of your divorce and get a green card info...it's really common. Sorry about your dissolving marriage  

[candybabe 46]

13 hours ago, maryland1992 said:

thank you for your reponse. so you are saying i should do the ROC first and then file for a divorce? i mean wouldnt that be lying in a way....that i will make it seem like we are a happy normal marriage to do ROC....when in fact we are not...and now that my husband is aware that i want a divorce, he might not want to help me with ROC....he's very childish and won't even talk to me about any of this.

you will not be able to file ROC jointly because your application is no longer based on an on-going good terms marriage-

 

considering your marriage is not going well and you have had divorce talks you won't be able to remove conditions jointly - that would be immigration fraud and that will cause your green card status revoked -

 

so you would need to check the box that requests a divorce waiver - that is box 1.d -

 

At the same time or even earlier than that, you have to file for divorce, because your application will not be scheduled for interview until you send them a copy of the divorce decree.

 

All in all , prepare yourself to show that the marriage entered into was bona fide - considering it went bad even before the 2 years, prepare your self to be asked a lot of questions.

 

you will need documentation to show evidence of bona fide and if you claim any abuse you will need proof of that : texts, emails, photos, etc.

 

unfortunately for your situation ,

as common as cases of US citizens abusing their immigrant spouses are,

this is also a very commonly claimed avenue to get out of a marriage after getting the conditional card -

which only makes it harder for the real victims of abuse to prove their case and makes the immigration officers dedicate a lot more detailed review to these cases to ensure legality....

 

 

[JoannaV 174]

A bonafide marriage does not have to mean a happy happy marriage. If a couple were having a bad time and in marriage counseling, that wouldn't mean they couldn't file ROC together. However, it does mean that you shouldn't be staying married just because of immigration reasons.

 

Right now, gather together evidence of your married life over the past two years, to ensure that *you* have access to all such evidence. Also, research the divorce laws in your state. Then you can figure out what all the possible timelines are.