Cheating Spouse -> Separation Date -> Divorce Filing -> Joint ROC filed in the middle

[Peep201 0]

Hi All,

 

I will appreciate your inputs here. I have been married to my spouse since December 2014. I recently filed for a joint petition with my US citizen spouse for removal of condition in July 2017. He has been emotionally, verbal, mental and financially abusive to me, but I didn't report any of the situations to the cops except one.  He has also been having extra-marital affairs. He has refused every request to work on our marriage and became more manipulative by the day. This is so tiring for me with a one-year old baby. 

 

My Spouse recently told me he filed for separation and wants a divorce, that his lawyer will send me the separation agreement for my signature. He seems to be back-dating the date on the separation agreement which I am yet to see to satisfy himself, and it looks like there is an overlap in his dates he told me.

 

If we filed JOINT petition in JULY 2017, and he wants to backdate the Separation Date to JANUARY 2017, how does this affect me as the petitioner? He is basically doing everything to suit himself. If this dates don't matter, I am tired of going-back and forth with him. And once the separation legal papers are signed, do I go ahead to inform USCIS of change of petition type? Even though Divorce proceeding have not begun?

 

I am tired of living life like this, marriage is meant to be enjoyed, and not everyday-being vindictive to me because he filed for me. 

[ddtenor2 80]

Sorry, I don't know the answers to your questions, but one thing I will say is DO NOT sign a separation agreement that has been backdated to January, 2017.  I don't know whether it's legal to create a document and then backdate it, but the most important thing is never lie to USCIS.  If you sign a document saying you filed for separation in January but have applied for ROC in July (claiming you're still in a bona fide marriage),  USCIS may consider this misrepresentation and deny your I-751.  It sounds like these are questions for an attorney.

[NikLR 13,227]

I agree with the above poster.  he may he backdating to get around a legal separation requirement in your state to start the divorce faster.   Which is, of course, fraudulent.  Do not sign it.  

You need a lawyer.  

[Peep201 0]

Thank you so much for the two replies above.  This was exactly was I told him. There is no way I was going to sign it. But this were verbal exchanges.   I will wait for him to bring the paper to me. Definitely have an attorney ready. 

 

Thank you. 

[Ontarkie 14,233]

Agreed do not sign it, until your attorney looks at it.

 

By chance were you two separated in Jan? I know in Ontario Canada if a couple separated say Jan then got back together in March even just for one day. Spent the night together then the clock resets to the new separation date. So definitely talk to the lawyer. 

 

Plus this could very well be him playing more games with you to mess you up. More of that psychological hold he thinks he still has on you. 

[candybabe 46]

3 hours ago, Peep201 said:

Hi All,

 

I will appreciate your inputs here. I have been married to my spouse since December 2014. I recently filed for a joint petition with my US citizen spouse for removal of condition in July 2017. He has been emotionally, verbal, mental and financially abusive to me, but I didn't report any of the situations to the cops except one.  He has also been having extra-marital affairs. He has refused every request to work on our marriage and became more manipulative by the day. This is so tiring for me with a one-year old baby. 

 

My Spouse recently told me he filed for separation and wants a divorce, that his lawyer will send me the separation agreement for my signature. He seems to be back-dating the date on the separation agreement which I am yet to see to satisfy himself, and it looks like there is an overlap in his dates he told me.

 

If we filed JOINT petition in JULY 2017, and he wants to backdate the Separation Date to JANUARY 2017, how does this affect me as the petitioner? He is basically doing everything to suit himself. If this dates don't matter, I am tired of going-back and forth with him. And once the separation legal papers are signed, do I go ahead to inform USCIS of change of petition type? Even though Divorce proceeding have not begun?

 

I am tired of living life like this, marriage is meant to be enjoyed, and not everyday-being vindictive to me because he filed for me. 

The separation agreement should reflect the ACTUAL date of the separation ! Do not let him or the lawyer bully you into anything ! That is pretty much illegal if you didn't separate in January !

 

Also - the Affidavit of Support does not expire regardless of whether you are divorced or not - he may have to pay alimony and child support.

 

You need to gather as much evidence as possible that you entered the marriage in good faith.

 

And if you are separated you should let USCIS know so you can get a waiver - if you go along with the joint petition and it gets approved as joint, you will have an interview as most do now, and during the interview the officer will consider it with holding information.

 

 

 

[candybabe 46]

34 minutes ago, Peep201 said:

Thank you so much for the two replies above.  This was exactly was I told him. There is no way I was going to sign it. But this were verbal exchanges.   I will wait for him to bring the paper to me. Definitely have an attorney ready. 

 

Thank you. 

If you receive the papers from his lawyer - I would even contact them to explain that is fraudulent - No lawyer wants to draft fraudulent documents !

[candybabe 46]

36 minutes ago, Peep201 said:

Thank you so much for the two replies above.  This was exactly was I told him. There is no way I was going to sign it. But this were verbal exchanges.   I will wait for him to bring the paper to me. Definitely have an attorney ready. 

 

Thank you. 

Also - gather evidence that you were not separated from January to July - anything you can find, bills, bank statements, neighbor / friend stating you were together - because you don't want it to be a he said, she said.....

[Peep201 0]

Thank you so much everyone that responded. Definitely won’t allow myself to be bullied into signing any wrongfully dated document.

 

I will wait till I receive the original separation agreement than just believing his words of mouth.

 

i definitely have enough evidences of entering the marriage in good faith. I never saw this trouble coming. I grew up in a 2- parents home with my parents married for almost 50 years before my mother died this year. I definitely will be strong for my baby.

 

 Thank you so much everyone once again. I will keep you all posted once I receive the document.

[mindthegap 2,590]

Sod the separation agreement - just make it a proper divorce and cut out a load of hassle.

If you want the I-751 to be approved - without possible issues at a later date - you must now get divorced. There is no waiver available on the basis of separation - only divorce (or annulment).

 

As above, backdating is fraudulent, and does not help your case in any way either - gather as much evidence as you can of bona-fide ness, and that you were still together as late as possible, beyond any other date that may be attempted to be claimed as a date of separation.

 

 

23 hours ago, candybabe said:

If you receive the papers from his lawyer - I would even contact them to explain that is fraudulent - No lawyer wants to draft fraudulent documents !

My ex-spouses lawyer did exactly that. Just because they have a law degree doesn't mean they have morals.

 

[Villanelle 4,122]

You should also notify USCIS that you filed a joint petition and are now separated. They will send you an RFE asking if you want to switch to a divorce waiver petition. You do. 

 

The most important thing to remember about divorce is that you only get one shot at it. First you try to come to agreements together, whatever you cant decide on the judge can rule on. So try first to come to an agreement, if you can not its okay. You can have the judge review each of your positions and evidence and rule on the issue you are disagreeing on.

 

Get a good divorce lawyer.

[Peep201 0]

Hello fellow VJ people.

 

I honestly appreciate your advice/suggestions about this situation. This is extremely tough on me and a baby who just turned 1 year old.

 

My cheating and very manipulative spouse wants to file for divorce in January 2018. He is claiming that we were last intimate in January 2017 (when my baby was barely 3-months old following a high risk pregnancy and a caesarian section birth.). He has been controlling and manipulating the whole situation like i am not a human being. I am so drained and tired of this mess.  

 

My question is: he filed joint petition with me in July 2017 to ROC, and our state requires 1 year legal separation before filing for divorce. He is claiming that as long as we were not intimate, that for him is the separation date for him so he started counting since January 2017. This is a man that doesn't want to work on his marriage for a second, and heavily cheating on me. Meanwhile, I was trying to work on the marriage, but him not so much. 

So with us filing a joint petition in July 2017, and he is claiming separation date to be January 2017, to file for divorce in January 2018, does this dates have any implications on my ROC filing?

 

- Or I should just let him go ahead and file for divorce in January 2018 and then notify USCIS. Does this complicate things for me in anyway? I have all evidences of proving that our marriage was entered in good faith, till this man side-lined and started gas-lighting me. I am so tired and can't take these anymore. I need to go back to the happy and cheerful person I used to be. This guy has drained me emotionally and mentally. I need to be alive, active and happy for my child.

 

What I was hoping for was to get a documented evidence of a legal separation where we agree on everything so I can move. Because knowing how manipulative and vindictive he is, he could come back tomorrow and accuse me of kidnapping our baby even though he verbally agreed that I can move out of state to be with my family where I can get support. But now seeing that he doesn't wan to write a legal separation with the real date, it becomes hard.

 

-Will appreciate your suggestions/advice. This is so draining!

 

 

[Georgia16 2,858]

Sorry you have to deal with this.

 

Your ROC will be fine you'll have to which to a divorce waiver. 

 

Get yourself a lawyer sounds like this will be messy and also get your lawyer to get an agreement in the divorce about the moving to another state don't leave only with a verbal one as it will be his word against yours.

[EvieMN 105]

Do not agree that the separation happened in January 2017! You filed a joint petition in July 2017 thus notifying USCIS your marriage is going good and you are still together as of that time.

I'm not sure what the laws are about intimacy and separation but please, please do your research first, and if possible, get a good divorce lawyer.

[Ontarkie 14,233]

Agreed with Evie, do not agree to the January separation. It is out right lying he's trying to pull a fast one to get the divorce sooner and he may think it will also mess your status up.