Tourist visa to green card without spouse sponsorship, maybe Vawa? (merged)

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

The answer to the question is NO.  The non-USC spouse can't apply for a GC without the USC spouse's support.

 

Sounds like the wife wants a GC to live in the US.  The husband is worried that if she gets a GC, she will leave him and the kid to go live in the US.  Seems like there are much

bigger issuer than immigration here.

 

[SusieQQQ 11,587]

1 hour ago, NigeriaorBust said:

  Your spouse isn't allowed to work in the US on a visitors visa.  If they go for a green card they may discover that they have worked ( if I read your post correctly )   

I read this the same, that the spouse has been in violation of the B visa conditions.

19 minutes ago, Eric-Pris said:

The answer to the question is NO.  The non-USC spouse can't apply for a GC without the USC spouse's support.

 

Sounds like the wife wants a GC to live in the US.  The husband is worried that if she gets a GC, she will leave him and the kid to go live in the US.  Seems like there are much

bigger issuer than immigration here.

 

Definitely a bigger issue but this seems to be realized already, see parallel thread by same OP asking about VAWA

[JFH 12,191]

If the non-USC spouse is bring abused by the USC spouse and wants to flee to safety, why on earth would she go to the USA, the only country that the USC abuser can move to unhindered? Surely you would want to live somewhere where he can't get you, not the easiest place for him to get you? 

 

I don't understand why the child is being cared for by the grandmother if the USC is a stay-at-home spouse? Isn't that why spouses stay at home, to care for children? 

 

It sounds like a marriage of convenience. Neither has any desire to live with the other and it seems the non-USC is more intent on getting a GC than on building a life with her spouse. 

[abum 324]

21 hours ago, John Doe 12 said:

I live outside the USA, and my spouse already lives in the USA for periods of time with the B2 visitors visa in the form mostly of two  two to four month periods anually. I am a stay at home spouse. The non us citizen spouse is the bread winner. The non citizen spouse says that with the posession of green card travel to the USA would be easier and employment opportunities would be better, however I believe that if the non citizen spouse gets the green card that would mean most probably establishing permanent residence in the USA which I who currently live outside the USA dont  find particulary interesting as we have a child in common and my mother takes care of our child and if my spouse who is not so compassionate with children moves to USA permanently that would mean that our child would probably suffer under the non us citizen spouse un compassionate care. 

 

Answering your US Visa question : No, the spouse of USC cannot get GC without being sponsored by the USC spouse  (or she can get visa via Diversity visa but that is more of a slim chance). 

However, both of you have a lot to discuss about - you are the husband [my assumption] (who typically is considered the head of the household, as well as breadwinner ), and your wife is earning for the family?

And that she wanted to migrate but you do not?

Your mom is taking care of your children and now you are worried about your non USC spouse abandoning the child  if she were to migrate to the USA (when it is your mother who is taking care of the child anyway right now, not you and her? ) Oookaaay.... 

I think you should sit together and plan properly. If both of you are heading to towards different directions in life (goal, ambition etc), you have something bigger than this visa question to think about.

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

Most couples talk living arrangements before marriage. Something doesn't quite add up, but sounds like a marital spat

[John Doe 12 0]

13 hours ago, Eric-Pris said:

The answer to the question is NO.  The non-USC spouse can't apply for a GC without the USC spouse's support.

 

Sounds like the wife wants a GC to live in the US.  The husband is worried that if she gets a GC, she will leave him and the kid to go live in the US.  Seems like there are much

bigger issuer than immigration here.

 

Yes it sounds like that, the mother of the non us citizen spouse has also told the daughter to get the green card.

[John Doe 12 0]

2 hours ago, abumiqdad said:

and your wife is earning for the family?

Yes I am a stay at home father.

 

My mother and I are taking care of the children.

2 hours ago, abumiqdad said:

And that she wanted to migrate but you do not?

Yes my wife originally lived in the USA practically with her b2 visa since she would get 6 months permission to stay in the USA and the time she couldn't be there in the USA she would live outside the USA,, here is where I enter the picture. While she was outside the USA because her B2 visa 6 month stay was up, we met online. One of the first questions she asked me was whether I was a US citizen. Anyways we dated for some time outside the USA,, until the time when her B2 visa allowed her back in the USA. She went back to the USA on  B2 visa and after some time I followed her to the USA and we lived in the USA for some months, she would work as a housemaid for 6 days a week and I would see her on sundays. She was very interested in money at that time and we would have frequent disputes because of it. Anyways she told me that during sex that the condom bothered her and I thought nothing of it, hint to the clueless when a woman says that the condom bothers her and you don't want children then inyect her with anticonceptive or stop having sex, anyways she gets pregnant obviously from this. I wonder if her getting pregnant was part of bigger plan or just a coincidence. Anyways with a baby on the way we get married and have been in a very tumultous marriage for about 1 year and 11 months so far. We decided to have the baby where the principal caretaker of the baby, my mother lives, outside the USA. The us non citizen spouse however has during the 1 year 11 monts period of marriage always had like a fixation on the USA. Almost everyday when she woke up outside the USA she would fixate on the USA and money. My wife refuses to work outside the USA because she says truthfully that the salaries in the part outside the USA where we live are low compared to the USA. Anyways since she is focused on the financial aspect, this makes her leave for the USA at least twice a year.  She would be extremely unhappy and irritated because of not having money and was not content living with me and my parents even though having a decent shelter, food and clothes for her and would also constantly insist that I give her the green card. My wife is not so nice when raising children , so therefore my mother raises our children and if I give my wife the green card that would mean she would probably immigrate to the USA and being a mother of 2 children, she has another from a previous marriage which now lives with us, probably try or even right out take the children with to the USA, which is what I fear the most because they would suffer under her care in the USA. I refuse to sponsor her green card because I would like to raise our children with my mother who cares for them very well. So I don't know sometimes I wonder if the only reason she has stayed in the marriage is because of the green card and or the fact that her other child from another relationship is very problematic and she knows how hard it would be for her to find another partner with 2 little children in tow, especially the problematic one. So perhaps the only reason she hasn't left me is the green card and the fact that it would probably very hard for her to to find another partner who would put up with her problem child. 

[Mina90 134]

Wow, this was very hard to read without paragraphs.

 

OP, why don't you move to the USA with your spouse and children? Why don't you petition her and the kids? I'm not sure I understand why, you as the US Citizen spouse, don't want to move to the USA where your non-US spouse DOES want to live. Did you both not discuss this prior to marriage as to where you both ultimately will decide to live? 

 

[abum 324]

8 hours ago, John Doe 12 said:

Yes I am a stay at home father.

 

My mother and I are taking care of the children.

Yes my wife originally lived in the USA practically with her b2 visa since she would get 6 months permission to stay in the USA and the time she couldn't be there in the USA she would live outside the USA,, here is where I enter the picture. While she was outside the USA because her B2 visa 6 month stay was up, we met online. One of the first questions she asked me was whether I was a US citizen. Anyways we dated for some time outside the USA,, until the time when her B2 visa allowed her back in the USA. She went back to the USA on  B2 visa and after some time I followed her to the USA and we lived in the USA for some months, she would work as a housemaid for 6 days a week and I would see her on sundays. She was very interested in money at that time and we would have frequent disputes because of it. Anyways she told me that during sex that the condom bothered her and I thought nothing of it, hint to the clueless when a woman says that the condom bothers her and you don't want children then inyect her with anticonceptive or stop having sex, anyways she gets pregnant obviously from this. I wonder if her getting pregnant was part of bigger plan or just a coincidence. Anyways with a baby on the way we get married and have been in a very tumultous marriage for about 1 year and 11 months so far. We decided to have the baby where the principal caretaker of the baby, my mother lives, outside the USA. The us non citizen spouse however has during the 1 year 11 monts period of marriage always had like a fixation on the USA. Almost everyday when she woke up outside the USA she would fixate on the USA and money. My wife refuses to work outside the USA because she says truthfully that the salaries in the part outside the USA where we live are low compared to the USA. Anyways since she is focused on the financial aspect, this makes her leave for the USA at least twice a year.  She would be extremely unhappy and irritated because of not having money and was not content living with me and my parents even though having a decent shelter, food and clothes for her and would also constantly insist that I give her the green card. My wife is not so nice when raising children , so therefore my mother raises our children and if I give my wife the green card that would mean she would probably immigrate to the USA and being a mother of 2 children, she has another from a previous marriage which now lives with us, probably try or even right out take the children with to the USA, which is what I fear the most because they would suffer under her care in the USA. I refuse to sponsor her green card because I would like to raise our children with my mother who cares for them very well. So I don't know sometimes I wonder if the only reason she has stayed in the marriage is because of the green card and or the fact that her other child from another relationship is very problematic and she knows how hard it would be for her to find another partner with 2 little children in tow, especially the problematic one. So perhaps the only reason she hasn't left me is the green card and the fact that it would probably very hard for her to to find another partner who would put up with her problem child. 

 

Given that explanation, why are you still in the marriage where it seemed like it was done out of convenience ? 

And that she is the one that earns of the family (unless you have some sort of disability or legitimate excuses that prevented your from providing for YOUR OWN FAMILY).

You should seek marriage councilor's advice.

 

Your question about visa has been answered. 

[SusieQQQ 11,587]

1 hour ago, Mina90 said:

Wow, this was very hard to read without paragraphs.

 

OP, why don't you move to the USA with your spouse and children? Why don't you petition her and the kids? I'm not sure I understand why, you as the US Citizen spouse, don't want to move to the USA where your non-US spouse DOES want to live. Did you both not discuss this prior to marriage as to where you both ultimately will decide to live? 

 

 

Because its clear she’ll dump him once she has a green card.

 

 

1 hour ago, abumiqdad said:

 

Given that explanation, why are you still in the marriage where it seemed like it was done out of convenience ? 

And that she is the one that earns of the family (unless you have some sort of disability or legitimate excuses that prevented your from providing for YOUR OWN FAMILY).

You should seek marriage councilor's advice.

 

Your question about visa has been answered. 

What makes you the judge of which spouse should be the breadwinner in a family??  Pretty outdated notion my friend. Plenty of happy marriages have the wife as sole or major breadwinner.  Notions of equality in the US work all ways. You live here, you need to recognize that.

Edited November 14, 2017 by SusieQQQ

[Ontarkie 14,381]

10 hours ago, John Doe 12 said:

Yes I am a stay at home father.

 

My mother and I are taking care of the children.

Yes my wife originally lived in the USA practically with her b2 visa since she would get 6 months permission to stay in the USA and the time she couldn't be there in the USA she would live outside the USA,, here is where I enter the picture. While she was outside the USA because her B2 visa 6 month stay was up, we met online. One of the first questions she asked me was whether I was a US citizen. Anyways we dated for some time outside the USA,, until the time when her B2 visa allowed her back in the USA. She went back to the USA on  B2 visa and after some time I followed her to the USA and we lived in the USA for some months, she would work as a housemaid for 6 days a week and I would see her on sundays. She was very interested in money at that time and we would have frequent disputes because of it. Anyways she told me that during sex that the condom bothered her and I thought nothing of it, hint to the clueless when a woman says that the condom bothers her and you don't want children then inyect her with anticonceptive or stop having sex, anyways she gets pregnant obviously from this. I wonder if her getting pregnant was part of bigger plan or just a coincidence. Anyways with a baby on the way we get married and have been in a very tumultous marriage for about 1 year and 11 months so far. We decided to have the baby where the principal caretaker of the baby, my mother lives, outside the USA. The us non citizen spouse however has during the 1 year 11 monts period of marriage always had like a fixation on the USA. Almost everyday when she woke up outside the USA she would fixate on the USA and money. My wife refuses to work outside the USA because she says truthfully that the salaries in the part outside the USA where we live are low compared to the USA. Anyways since she is focused on the financial aspect, this makes her leave for the USA at least twice a year.  She would be extremely unhappy and irritated because of not having money and was not content living with me and my parents even though having a decent shelter, food and clothes for her and would also constantly insist that I give her the green card. My wife is not so nice when raising children , so therefore my mother raises our children and if I give my wife the green card that would mean she would probably immigrate to the USA and being a mother of 2 children, she has another from a previous marriage which now lives with us, probably try or even right out take the children with to the USA, which is what I fear the most because they would suffer under her care in the USA. I refuse to sponsor her green card because I would like to raise our children with my mother who cares for them very well. So I don't know sometimes I wonder if the only reason she has stayed in the marriage is because of the green card and or the fact that her other child from another relationship is very problematic and she knows how hard it would be for her to find another partner with 2 little children in tow, especially the problematic one. So perhaps the only reason she hasn't left me is the green card and the fact that it would probably very hard for her to to find another partner who would put up with her problem child. 

Reading this it does look like you were her target. She only wants the GC. Your marriage has been trouble from day one, because you were supposed to be her ticket to the US and then she could dump you. 

I'm all for fighting to make a marriage work but this is not a marriage, she is not a great mother because she only got pregnant to dig her hooks into you better.

 

Time to get divorce and also report her to for abusing her visa. 

[Ontarkie 14,381]

~~Thread  moved to General Immigration, from AOS from  Work, Tourist, and Student Visas- As the USC spouse does not live in the US and has no desire to return.~~

[abum 324]

19 hours ago, SusieQQQ said:

 

Because its clear she’ll dump him once she has a green card.

 

 

What makes you the judge of which spouse should be the breadwinner in a family??  Pretty outdated notion my friend. Plenty of happy marriages have the wife as sole or major breadwinner.  Notions of equality in the US work all ways. You live here, you need to recognize that.

 

For some reasons, his post reminded me of this post (hence i have a slightly biased PoV in my comments)

 

 

[Linalina 0]

On 14.11.2017 at 2:28 PM, John Doe 12 said:

Yes I am a stay at home father.

 

My mother and I are taking care of the children.

Yes my wife originally lived in the USA practically with her b2 visa since she would get 6 months permission to stay in the USA and the time she couldn't be there in the USA she would live outside the USA,, here is where I enter the picture. While she was outside the USA because her B2 visa 6 month stay was up, we met online. One of the first questions she asked me was whether I was a US citizen. Anyways we dated for some time outside the USA,, until the time when her B2 visa allowed her back in the USA. She went back to the USA on  B2 visa and after some time I followed her to the USA and we lived in the USA for some months, she would work as a housemaid for 6 days a week and I would see her on sundays. She was very interested in money at that time and we would have frequent disputes because of it. Anyways she told me that during sex that the condom bothered her and I thought nothing of it, hint to the clueless when a woman says that the condom bothers her and you don't want children then inyect her with anticonceptive or stop having sex, anyways she gets pregnant obviously from this. I wonder if her getting pregnant was part of bigger plan or just a coincidence. Anyways with a baby on the way we get married and have been in a very tumultous marriage for about 1 year and 11 months so far. We decided to have the baby where the principal caretaker of the baby, my mother lives, outside the USA. The us non citizen spouse however has during the 1 year 11 monts period of marriage always had like a fixation on the USA. Almost everyday when she woke up outside the USA she would fixate on the USA and money. My wife refuses to work outside the USA because she says truthfully that the salaries in the part outside the USA where we live are low compared to the USA. Anyways since she is focused on the financial aspect, this makes her leave for the USA at least twice a year.  She would be extremely unhappy and irritated because of not having money and was not content living with me and my parents even though having a decent shelter, food and clothes for her and would also constantly insist that I give her the green card. My wife is not so nice when raising children , so therefore my mother raises our children and if I give my wife the green card that would mean she would probably immigrate to the USA and being a mother of 2 children, she has another from a previous marriage which now lives with us, probably try or even right out take the children with to the USA, which is what I fear the most because they would suffer under her care in the USA. I refuse to sponsor her green card because I would like to raise our children with my mother who cares for them very well. So I don't know sometimes I wonder if the only reason she has stayed in the marriage is because of the green card and or the fact that her other child from another relationship is very problematic and she knows how hard it would be for her to find another partner with 2 little children in tow, especially the problematic one. So perhaps the only reason she hasn't left me is the green card and the fact that it would probably very hard for her to to find another partner who would put up with her problem child. 

Wow what a story, I am very interested where is your wife from and what country do you live now?

for me it's clear, she only wanted GC and you would be ideal because she would live and work in us freely. Also, what do you mean by problematic child? Is she/he disabled or what? 

She is no way a good person considering both her attitude to you and your kids.

but I also do not understand stay at home husbands with breadwinner wives, its against my philosophy.

[abum 324]

3 hours ago, Linalina said:

Wow what a story, I am very interested where is your wife from and what country do you live now?

for me it's clear, she only wanted GC and you would be ideal because she would live and work in us freely. Also, what do you mean by problematic child? Is she/he disabled or what? 

She is no way a good person considering both her attitude to you and your kids.

but I also do not understand stay at home husbands with breadwinner wives, its against my philosophy.

We have the same philosophy  

I mainly have the idea that both spouses should be able to support the family mainly to prepare for the unfortunate event that one got into a mishap that renders the spouse unable to provide for the family - hence the other spouse could step up and take the mantle. Though this would require some sort of assistance for raising the child if both works at the same time.