New Immigrants: How many of you send money on a regular basis to your family back home?

[silly_chick 0]

Where's the option "My family outside the U.S. has been sending me money"?

Didn't think of it. I just assumed if you were married you could support yourself. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Clearly, our families overseas are supposedly adults as well, and they should be able to support themselves.

[babybunny 2]

I am against it!!! I dont see none of them people helping my azz when things hit the fan!!

frankly, I dont bust my azz working to support 2 households no way!!! if that is all he want me for is

to use me - he know he can keep his azz in pakistan. obviously, if that is motive then why dragg me in

his familys sytt..

Does the same apply if your family need some fiancial help in the future? will he get a say whether you help them out at all?....just wondering...

I dont send my mom and dad money! they have both have retirement < military >checks comming in.

mom is about to retire again this june and dad is not retiring again just yet.

you know: she didn't ask if you send your parents money NOW... she asked what if they needed help at some point in the future. What if there was some natural disaster or something and they lost their home... what if they just needed some help from their child until they could get back on their feet? When you're on a pension, it's a pretty fixed income. You usually can't plan for unexpected events and build that into your budget.

Would you help them? If so, what kind of say would your husband have in the matter... I mean... they're not there, helping his AZZ out, are they?

My parents have prepared for their future dont worry about it ... if they need money they have resources. they can take care of themselfs. I take care of myself and my household. thats it.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Where's the option "My family outside the U.S. has been sending me money"?

Didn't think of it. I just assumed if you were married you could support yourself. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Clearly, our families overseas are supposedly adults as well, and they should be able to support themselves.

Yes, they should be able to. As a married person, you should be able to support yourself as well.

But that's ideal.

In the real world, you are not. Many people will have parents that are not. That's life.

So the question is, if you're in that situation, are you willing to help?

For some people the question is a hypothetical. For some people, the question is very real.

[almaty 19]

Where's the option "My family outside the U.S. has been sending me money"?

Didn't think of it. I just assumed if you were married you could support yourself. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Clearly, our families overseas are supposedly adults as well, and they should be able to support themselves.

Yes, they should be able to. As a married person, you should be able to support yourself as well.

But that's ideal.

In the real world, you are not. Many people will have parents that are not. That's life.

So the question is, if you're in that situation, are you willing to help?

For some people the question is a hypothetical. For some people, the question is very real.

excellent point, and not necessary over-seas..i know a few folks who help support their parents here in america...

[ChristinaM 0]

I do when I can afford it (which is not often), because I owe my parents. Otherwise I wouldn't.

[MrsAmera 41]

I am against it!!! I dont see none of them people helping my azz when things hit the fan!!

frankly, I dont bust my azz working to support 2 households no way!!! if that is all he want me for is

to use me - he know he can keep his azz in pakistan. obviously, if that is motive then why dragg me in

his familys sytt..

I'm just wondering how many people who are sooooo against this would feel the same way if the situation were reversed, and it was YOUR blood family that was in need of help? And even though some people look and say "oh they're so lazy, they don't do anything etc." I really think you need to look at the situation and understand it. It is easy to say here "get a job any job - work at mcdonald's if you have to" Fine, you can probably get a job with a little bit of work but it REALLY isn't that easy in other countries, esp. in the developing world. I"m not just saying this 'cus I believe helping out my husband's family is something that should be done - but I've researched it. There really aren't jobs in some of these countries. And some of the "laziness" we see is cultural. In most of the world people don't live to work - they work to live, take that as you will and make what you want of it. It's not wrong, it's different. My husband left his mom and 5 sisters alone in Morocco and everyone contributes, his sisters, their husbands, his brothers who are in Italy and the US so I don't feel like we'll be solely supporting them but all of his brothers are gone and his mom is living alone right now. He knows we have to pay our bills first, but as soon as we can we will be sending money $200 a month probably to help his mom.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

My fiance is not here yet but we have discussed this and we will only send money if there is an emergency. I found a web site for a Grocery store in Jamaica where we can buy grocery credits for them so they can go buy groceries, I think we are going to do that for the holidays and other special occasions...some people in his family have bad drinking problems and we really dont want them to use money we would send for alcohol...with doing the grocery credits that way they can buy food and other needed things.

wonderful idea!!!

I send a $1000.00 a month to my Mother in-law and if she ever needed more she would have it!

wow!!!

Well AS... Jamal is not here with me yet... so we are not sending money to his parents yet... and I don't send him money either.

Morocco is very high in unemployment... it is sooooooo difficult to find a job... any job.

When my mother became legally blind... i moved from atlanta to take care of her. I did not want to put her in an old folks home... I wanted her to retain her independence as much as possible. Thank God that she was not so blind that she could not care for herself. I didn't take care of her for any glorification or any such thing... i did it because she was my mom... and I loved her... and I wanted her to be able to ENJOY her time left in this life... and not worry about finances.

Here in the United States... there are the elderly who are on a fixed income... and who will not buy their medicines... so that they can have food to eat... or who will go without air conditioning or heat... to have food to eat... or sometimes vice-versa... will go without food to pay their bills... I never wanted that for my mom.

Jamal's dad died in December of 2005... and he has one brother and one sister in Morocco. I know that all 3 of them contribute to his mom's care. And when Jamal comes here... I will be happy to help care for my mother-in-law... I don't look at it as a duty, but as a privilege... Jamal and I have even talked about bringing her here to us in the united states when we finished the process with him.

Anyways... that's my 2 cents worth... thank you for reading.

Good topic AS! kudos to ya!

Edited March 30, 2006 by Dixie_Peach

[chri'stina 190]

I am against it!!! I dont see none of them people helping my azz when things hit the fan!!

frankly, I dont bust my azz working to support 2 households no way!!! if that is all he want me for is

to use me - he know he can keep his azz in pakistan. obviously, if that is motive then why dragg me in

his familys sytt..

Does the same apply if your family need some fiancial help in the future? will he get a say whether you help them out at all?....just wondering...

I dont send my mom and dad money! they have both have retirement < military >checks comming in.

mom is about to retire again this june and dad is not retiring again just yet.

you know: she didn't ask if you send your parents money NOW... she asked what if they needed help at some point in the future. What if there was some natural disaster or something and they lost their home... what if they just needed some help from their child until they could get back on their feet? When you're on a pension, it's a pretty fixed income. You usually can't plan for unexpected events and build that into your budget.

Would you help them? If so, what kind of say would your husband have in the matter... I mean... they're not there, helping his AZZ out, are they?

My parents have prepared for their future dont worry about it ... if they need money they have resources. they can take care of themselfs. I take care of myself and my household. thats it.

Not everyone is as "lucky" as your family.

Well I guess after your husband gets here and gets a job, you can't really stop him from sending money home if he wants to since he has no say over your money. So you'll have no say either!

They are our family and we should help them if we can. Also I would not be against helping to pay for one of Sujeet's sisters weddings since I know that is their culture. Sure it'd have to be reasonable with what we can contribute so that we didn't go broke here. I'd also help to pay for my own sisters wedding here in the US when she gets married one day, if I am able to. That's what family does in my opinion. I grew up in a family where sometimes it was hard to make ends meet. Not rich at all! And so we have learned that sometimes we have to help eachother.

I am against it!!! I dont see none of them people helping my azz when things hit the fan!!

frankly, I dont bust my azz working to support 2 households no way!!! if that is all he want me for is

to use me - he know he can keep his azz in pakistan. obviously, if that is motive then why dragg me in

his familys sytt..

how do you know whether they would help you or not? and also, if you need help it's very expensive in the US compared to Pak and I'm sure they would help you if they could. I know our family in India would help us if we ever needed help, but the hard part is translating India's income to the US and it not making a big impact...while we can easily send money. Sorry but they are my family too and they need help right now, not due to their own fault. They aren't lazy, they are getting screwed by their state's gov't. And it's also sad about the lack of respect you have for your family in Pakistan...referring to them as "them people".

Edited March 30, 2006 by stina&suj

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Sorry but they are my family too and they need help right now...

Well said!

And it's also sad about the lack of respect you have for your family in Pakistan...referring to them as "them people".

[chri'stina 190]

Sorry but they are my family too and they need help right now...

Well said!

And it's also sad about the lack of respect you have for your family in Pakistan...referring to them as "them people".

[Sister Fracas 5]

don't send money but would if needed and could afford to....doubt it ever will ever be needed though.

Edited March 30, 2006 by Frances

[iceyspots 0]

OK Here's our situation.

We will send money back home, however, that is after we've established our lives here.

Rule #1 : I must finish my education, and after, all my student loans must be paid off.

Rule #2 : It's not just me sending money, it is both of us.

Rule #3 : We have to already have our own domicile (owned) here in the U.S.

Rule #4 : We already have to have a savings account set up for our children's education.

Rule #5 : All money that was loaned by my family is to be paid back (I owe my mom a little bit of money, she helped pay for my lawyer, and helped pay for my plane tickets to visit him and she'll more than likely split the cost of his visa and plane ticket to get here, on top of being a co-sponsor).

But, in a way, we are going to send smaller amounts back home.. maybe $100-$300 per month, or on an as needed basis. We were more thinking of buying assets there. We definitely want to send a vehicle, which I know many who have sent vehicles overseas, it can cost around $2000-$3000 to deliver them. We want to buy a car that's not older than 3 or 4 years old and send it.

You see, his father and mother work, his father is a college professor and his mom a school teacher. He has a sister that works in a bank, a brother who works at an internet café, another 2 sisters who works as an administrative assistants at a school. They have one daughter who doesn't work, and one son who is 17 and in school. So this is 6 incomes in ONE household.. and with that money, they have barely just enough to get by. They have a 3 bedroom apartment style home and after 8 years of saving, they bought a 1982 VW Golf. My fiancé did not propose to me for money, I've known his brother and his family for 3 years. I've sent them all kinds of gifts, they've never asked me for anything.

So, in Algeria, you can work your entire life and have close to nothing. The two main things we want to buy them is a house and a car. A really nice 6 bedroom family house, in a nice area, would cost around the likes of $60,000, and probably we want to spend around $15,000 for a car and another 2-3 K to send it. But, we do plan on spending our final days so to speak in Algeria. We want to go there after we retire and our children are finished with college. So our proposition is that if we buy this house, we're going to live there when we retire. We are also making sure to send our kids to Algeria every summer or every other summer. We are going to make sure to teach them foreign languages so they can communicate properly. I love my family back home so much, they are too nice and very smart.

Yacine plans on either working as a truck driver, or in heating and cooling (my brother does it, and makes good money). And I'm currently enrolled in Nursing school, so we'll both have good jobs. I don't really want a huge house or an escalade or something. We want to have a modest home in a decent neighborhood for our kids and we want to be able to save. It really broke my heart when I told Yacine how much a year I would make being an RN, and he told me he would only make that much money in an entire lifetime of working in Algeria. So.. that's pretty much our plan. We are going to send money and buy other things for our family back home..

[almaty 19]

Sorry but they are my family too and they need help right now...

Well said!

And it's also sad about the lack of respect you have for your family in Pakistan...referring to them as "them people".

very well stated.. i applaud you dean