Are you okay with your SO keeping old love letters from an ex?

[jeanieCZ 228]

On 10/31/2019 at 2:45 PM, laylalex said:

I'm currently trying to figure out how to deal with this

I would suggest you talk to your fiance about this. It doesn't matter that you once told him it was okay to keep the letters - if it still bothers you, that clearly shows it's not okay for you. It's okay to change your mind. Just talk to him, explain to him how you feel and why, be honest and open about your feelings. Maybe that will help you more to deal with this than the physical existence or nonexistence of those letters. 

[laylalex 7,284]

2 hours ago, jeanieCZ said:

I would suggest you talk to your fiance about this. It doesn't matter that you once told him it was okay to keep the letters - if it still bothers you, that clearly shows it's not okay for you. It's okay to change your mind. Just talk to him, explain to him how you feel and why, be honest and open about your feelings. Maybe that will help you more to deal with this than the physical existence or nonexistence of those letters. 

Hey! It's been nearly a year since I posted this. We had a long talk which ended with me explaining why I felt jealous and insecure, and him agreeing to draw better boundaries with his ex-GF. He got rid of the letters by sending them back to her for her safekeeping, which she appreciated because now she has both parts of the correspondence. And with another year of being together and crucially living together, we are stronger and more sensitive to each other's needs. It was a great opportunity for us to work more on communication styles, and what works for us. Not to brag, but I think we are pretty great at it now! 

[jeanieCZ 228]

29 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Hey! It's been nearly a year since I posted this. We had a long talk which ended with me explaining why I felt jealous and insecure, and him agreeing to draw better boundaries with his ex-GF. He got rid of the letters by sending them back to her for her safekeeping, which she appreciated because now she has both parts of the correspondence. And with another year of being together and crucially living together, we are stronger and more sensitive to each other's needs. It was a great opportunity for us to work more on communication styles, and what works for us. Not to brag, but I think we are pretty great at it now! 

Sounds great, I'm happy for you guys!