Are you okay with your SO keeping old love letters from an ex?

[meauxna 15]

Anyways, I wanted to see if I was being overly sensitive and potentially insecure or if others mostly feel the same way I do.

Karoline,

Maybe you can see why context is important.. not just the context in which you asked the question of the rest of us, but in the context of the explanation you got from your fiance.

When I first read your 'why did I post this, but before I read the explanation, my reaction was: uh-huh. Keeping old love letters is vastly different than shipping them half way round the world to my new wife's house.

Then the explanation gave context to the move and changed my opinion yet again.

Glad you two worked it out between you two and the rest of us were just here for the diversion You are welcome to come on Saturday too, and if all my old junk gets cleared out, your fiance can use my basement to keep his old ####### in. Guaranteed to not be seen for 6+ years!

[Alex+R 0]

Out of respect for the SO, letters, photos and other memorabilia should be promptly disposed of.

Excellent. Report with Alex+R for basement duty, my place, next Saturday at 10am. Can't have the no respecting carry on another 6 years!

<g>

I'll make pancakes, for Pete's sake. It'll be fun!

Wait wait, I said you could keep it! I said you could keep it! :makes sad face to attempt getting out of basement duty:

[natty bumppo 293]

Out of respect for the SO, letters, photos and other memorabilia should be promptly disposed of.

Excellent. Report with Alex+R for basement duty, my place, next Saturday at 10am. Can't have the no respecting carry on another 6 years!

<g>

I'll make pancakes, for Pete's sake. It'll be fun!

Wait wait, I said you could keep it! I said you could keep it! :makes sad face to attempt getting out of basement duty:

wait ... maybe they have a good wine cellar

[kari lina 0]

Anyways, I wanted to see if I was being overly sensitive and potentially insecure or if others mostly feel the same way I do.

Karoline,

Maybe you can see why context is important.. not just the context in which you asked the question of the rest of us, but in the context of the explanation you got from your fiance.

When I first read your 'why did I post this, but before I read the explanation, my reaction was: uh-huh. Keeping old love letters is vastly different than shipping them half way round the world to my new wife's house.

Then the explanation gave context to the move and changed my opinion yet again.

Glad you two worked it out between you two and the rest of us were just here for the diversion You are welcome to come on Saturday too, and if all my old junk gets cleared out, your fiance can use my basement to keep his old ####### in. Guaranteed to not be seen for 6+ years!

I considered giving the whole story in the original post, but decided I wanted unbiased opinions (not specifically regarding my situation). Therefore, I purposely left off my context for a bit

Anywho, I was curious as to others opinions. I talked to my sisters about it and both of them still have a box of old mementos, and my older sister implied I may have been slightly over-reacting. So, I wanted to see what others think on the matter.

And yeah, we always work it out. It's our little pattern: he does something he doesn't realize I won't like. I over-react. I bring it up to him after I've cooled down a bit. And we work it all out. That's how I knew I had to marry him. I put up with him when he does stupid things and he puts up with me when I over-react I just can't wait until he's home again and we can add making up to the whole equation

Oh and thanks for the offer of your basement, I'll let him know he has a couple of places he can lose, I mean, store the letters.

Karoline

[Fandango 1,439]

I'd flip a lid if D mailed me his old love letters. If they were layin around, meh no big shakes...but mailing them to me??????

I'd shred em and mail him back the bits

[sj5 4]

i keep pictures and letters of my ex for his kid with me. It doesn't mean anything to me but giving importance to his child..I only just showing to my kid that i never tried to poison her mind even her dad giving me hard time but if i wanted too, i can do it because she is 3 yrs old still.. but is her rights to know her father someday even in pictures and read his letter.. lol but my letters still in philippines

[kari lina 0]

I'd flip a lid if D mailed me his old love letters. If they were layin around, meh no big shakes...but mailing them to me??????

I'd shred em and mail him back the bits

Yeah, see that was my original reaction, hehe. Thus, my sister saying that I over-react a bit. It's a good thing he's 5,000+ miles away because I had some time to cool off before I let him know how I felt about it. I was like who sends their old love letters to the woman they are marrying in a couple of months?

But...In his defense, it was a very large package with many different belongings, so it wasn't like he was just sending me a box purely of his old love letters. I chalk it up to him just not thinking that one through. He's a brilliant guy, but can be really dense sometimes I'm still crazy about him anyways

Karoline

edited for grammatical error

Edited April 24, 2007 by kari lina

[rebeccajo 14]

Wes had old love letters in his house.

I was PO'd because they were in with the rest of the mess we were sorting to bring over. I kinda felt like he could have read them, done whatever he wanted to do with them, etc. before I arrived to help pack his house out. I guess I felt it was a bit uncaring of my feelings. I hated it though when he not only threw away the letters, but a CD the girl and her band had made. I really wanted to hear them!

He has a little pewter dragon and wizard that sit by his PC here. I packed them and brought them over. They were given to him by another girl he cared deeply about. They don't bother me.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Im fine with it because those letters are from me. I AM his first love.

[kari lina 0]

i keep pictures and letters of my ex for his kid with me. It doesn't mean anything to me but giving importance to his child..I only just showing to my kid that i never tried to poison her mind even her dad giving me hard time but if i wanted too, i can do it because she is 3 yrs old still.. but is her rights to know her father someday even in pictures and read his letter.. lol but my letters still in philippines

Pugnacious,

I don't think there is anything wrong with keeping the letters and pictures for your child. That is a completely different thing, and I definitely think that it is lovely of you to keep that sort of thing for your daughter.

Karoline

[sereia 0]

im ok with it....as long as he isn't reading them more than once or twice again in his LIFE. haha

it would be a bit weird if he was checking them out..........

[William33 110]

Out of respect for the SO, letters, photos and other memorabilia should be promptly disposed of.

Excellent. Report with Alex+R for basement duty, my place, next Saturday at 10am. Can't have the no respecting carry on another 6 years!

<g>

I'll make pancakes, for Pete's sake. It'll be fun!

Thoughts on pics in the basement: Out of sight, out of mind...It's all good!!

[lirachadsbaby 0]

I don't have my memorabilia from ex. I don't with my fiance if he has. It doesnt bother me at all. I am the present and that's what matters.

[jundp 191]

I'd flip a lid if D mailed me his old love letters. If they were layin around, meh no big shakes...but mailing them to me??????

I'd shred em and mail him back the bits

Ain't gonna lie....if he mailed them to me? I'd a) throw a hissy fit Southern style B) tear them up and mail them back c) maybe read them first?

But, then again, she's his past. I have a past too. Though I did try to take down photos/etc of my ex before P came to visit the first time. I imagine he made sure to do the same thing. I didn't ask. I don't want to know!!!! However reasonable I sound, I'm with you Karoline, I ALWAYS over-react, he puts up with it, so I am lucky.

[kari lina 0]

I'd flip a lid if D mailed me his old love letters. If they were layin around, meh no big shakes...but mailing them to me??????

I'd shred em and mail him back the bits

Ain't gonna lie....if he mailed them to me? I'd a) throw a hissy fit Southern style B) tear them up and mail them back c) maybe read them first?

But, then again, she's his past. I have a past too. Though I did try to take down photos/etc of my ex before P came to visit the first time. I imagine he made sure to do the same thing. I didn't ask. I don't want to know!!!! However reasonable I sound, I'm with you Karoline, I ALWAYS over-react, he puts up with it, so I am lucky.

Hehe, yes we are lucky, but I guess that is part of a good relationship, loving each other for your good qualities and putting up with each other for the rest

Btw, jundp, I see you're new to VJ, so welcome!

Karoline