Are you okay with your SO keeping old love letters from an ex?

[kari lina 0]

Just curious to see the general opinion on whether or not people are cool with their SO having old love letters from their past relationships.

Karoline

[PaulineA 1]

I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

[meauxna 15]

I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

[tom&tata 2]

I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

Cute

[PaulineA 1]

I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

[featherB 1]

I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

Exactly. If he/she spends endless hours poring and mooning over mementoes of former relationships, that would obviously be something to worry about. But if someone's demanding that every last trace of an ex-love is wiped away, then I think they're the one with the problem. I don't think that many people would 'need' to keep that kind of thing, but why shouldn't they? They certainly shouldn't be ordered to get rid of it all just because someone else is feeling all jealous and insecure....

[Alex+R 0]

I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

Exactly. If he/she spends endless hours poring and mooning over mementoes of former relationships, that would obviously be something to worry about. But if someone's demanding that every last trace of an ex-love is wiped away, then I think they're the one with the problem. I don't think that many people would 'need' to keep that kind of thing, but why shouldn't they? They certainly shouldn't be ordered to get rid of it all just because someone else is feeling all jealous and insecure....

agreed. and ps I love you for using the correct spelling of "to pore."

pps I also LOL'd at meauxna's post

[William33 110]

Out of respect for the SO, letters, photos and other memorabilia should be promptly disposed of.

[meauxna 15]

Out of respect for the SO, letters, photos and other memorabilia should be promptly disposed of.

Excellent. Report with Alex+R for basement duty, my place, next Saturday at 10am. Can't have the no respecting carry on another 6 years!

<g>

I'll make pancakes, for Pete's sake. It'll be fun!

[Nessa 23]

I have no problems with having pictures of your past relationships, but keeping love letters is just too much, I don't see why someone needs to keep love letters from people they don't love anymore, I certainly don't need to.

[kari lina 0]

I have no problems with having pictures of your past relationships, but keeping love letters is just too much, I don't see why someone needs to keep love letters from people they don't love anymore, I certainly don't need to.

That's exactly how I feel. I don't have a problem with keeping photos either, but love letters I'm not okay with.

I'll explain more why I put this poll up. I received a big package from my fiance last week. Full of all kinds of random belongings. The package included a box of letters; letters and postcards from family and friends, some from me, and then about 50 or so from his ex. I think I wouldn't have been so concerned had it been just a few, but I think I freaked out a bit because it was so many.

We talked about it, and all is resolved. He said that his past relationship had been a big part of his past, and that was why he had kept them. He also said he didn't realize it would be a big deal for me but understands my point, and he has no problem getting rid of them. I guess my thinking is that I don't see the point unless you're planning to pull them out from time to time to read them and reminisce, and I don't think that would be healthy for our relationship. He was really great about it, and I know that he truly loves me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. For now I just put the letters up in my closet. I don't feel like it is my place to get rid of them. I myself was engaged before and I didn't throw away the engagement photos we had professionally done, but they are in my parents attic where they will more than likely stay for years and years, so I might as well have thrown them away. I suggested that he could maybe put her letters in my parent's attic with my old engagement photos. I guess, I don't mind too much if they exist, but I don't want them in our home, if that makes sense.

Anyways, I wanted to see if I was being overly sensitive and potentially insecure or if others mostly feel the same way I do.

Best wishes to all,

Karoline

[Caladan 19]

I don't throw things out, and it doesn't have anything to do with respect, but just a combination of being a pack rat and liking to keep my personal history.

Should I tear up all the group photos from college because it didn't work out with a guy I dated? No thanks.

[Niels Bohr 72]

I'm lucky. I'm my SO first love. Hehehe.

[kari lina 0]

I'm lucky. I'm my SO first love. Hehehe.

That IS lucky! My fiancé was my first love 10 years ago, but then we parted ways for a few years (we were very young back then) and each were in a few other relationships. We've been back together 2 years now. I wish sometimes that we never had that time apart, but then again that has shaped who we are, so I believe everything happens for a reason. I'm just happy he is back in my life now.

[lynamon 0]

This is an interesting post ... my fiance and I have had this discussion.

He came to stay at my home and noticed things around my home that I hadn't acknowledged in quite some time. He classified them as ghosts and was upset that they were not removed long before hand. The fact was was that I didn't have any shrines ... just some things that blended in with the furniture. For example ... the topping from my wedding cake that had been sitting in my freezer for 8 years lol. I just never really thought to myself ... I should throw that out.

There was a funny "Everyone Loves Raymond" episode about this exact thing .. and he now tells me that I'm living in a museum of my erotic past.

Honestly ... it's silly to believe that no one has had a life before you although there is something to be said about being respectful (like not having any shrines!!)