Is anyone else so emotionally drained from the K-1 process that they want to forgo a proper wedding (with ceremony & reception) and just go to the courthouse instead?

[shawarma_frites 21]

53 minutes ago, Grace&Matt said:

My fiance and I did try to expedite our case because her mom wants to meet me in person before she dies. Unfortunately, they didn't approve our request. She just died 2 weeks ago due to lung cancer. It is so unfair because she was vegetarian, non smoker, and no other risk factor that we can associate to her condition. Even I wasn't there, I know that she is a good person, my fiance loves her so much. I saw her deteriorating for just 7 months of time. My fiance was about to breakdown and so as I because her mom was just in his house couple weeks ago, but now he is all alone, so instead of complaining, we are looking for ways how to cope up. I do feel you. Im sorry for your lost. 

I'm so sorry for your loss. How needlessly undiscerning (or heartless) for USCIS not to expidite your case. 

[John & Rose 7,239]

On 10/28/2017 at 3:38 AM, shawarma_frites said:

A K-1 sucks the joy out of wedding planning anyway given the fears of denial/RFEs and uncertain processing times. 

You just started!  Your NOA1 was only 51 days ago!  How are you going to feel 100 days from now?

[John & Rose 7,239]

22 hours ago, DandY said:

Quite easy to say for someone whose ENTIRE K1 process took less than half of what it is taking now.

You made me look at their timeline...damn, those were the good old days.  I'm at 145 waiting for NOA2 and they interviewed in 123 days!

[George & Roth 1,485]

I'm going to get legally married right away, and have the party and ceremony within the year after she arrives.  That will eliminate the rush to plan everything.  

 

You need to be married within 90 days but you can have the party whenever you want.  

Edited October 29, 2017 by George & Roth

[John & Rose 7,239]

24 minutes ago, George & Roth said:

I'm going to get legally married right away, and have the party and ceremony within the year after she arrives.  That will eliminate the rush to plan everything.  

 

You need to be married within 90 days but you can have the party whenever you want.  

We are doing the same.  A courthouse wedding and a big reception when we have the time and energy to plan it.

[Dashinka 24,717]

22 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

The visa is valid for about 6 months after it is issued, then you have 90 days to get married. Realistically, you have over 6 months to plan a wedding and reception, which is absolutely feasible if it's important for you. The immigration process can make a few things more difficult, however it shouldn't be blamed for everything - roll up your sleeves and just plan your wedding! 

 

 

 

 

This is exactly what we did.  Once Katya’s visa was issued she had to take care of personal issues before she could come to the US, so we took that time to plan a nice family/friend wedding at my brother’s house for over 100 people.  Many people want to immediately get on a plane when the visa is issued, and that is fine as well, but when hey take that route, their best option is do a simple courthouse wedding.

[Dashinka 24,717]

10 hours ago, shawarma_frites said:

I'm the sponsor, not the beneficiary. Actually, we both suffered very difficult deaths in our immediate families during our time apart, so this has a different layer of difficulty to it. We watched in horror as our loved ones slipped away but couldn't physically support each other at the time because of stringent visa policies and other extenuating circumstances. When you watch your 23 year old sister die from brain cancer in a matter of months, it can ignite the kind of existential panic that makes you depressed over a visa and wedding. 

 

I'm trying to plan a small wedding of 50 family members/friends in order to welcome my "beneficiary" into the family. Having a small wedding is an important part of having our marriage socially recognized and respected. 

I know exactly what you mean, and I am sorry for your loss.  While going through the process of the K1, I lost both my mother and father a year apart and unfortunately Katya was not able to meet either of them in person.  It was hard to go through that without her at my side, but we did the best we could at the time.  Luckily, I have a big family with a lot of support, so once Katya’s visa was issued and we set a date, we took most of the six months of the visa validity to plan a small family oriented wedding.  We had it all planned together, with me doing most of the work organizing everything, but all decisions made jointly.  Once she arrived, two weeks before the wedding date, I connected her with some friends to help find a dress, and she was very fortunate to find something she liked that didn’t require a lot of alterations.  The day came and we had a beautiful outdoor wedding with our US family, and we streamed the ceremony for our family back in Russia.  Late the next year after she got her GC, we traveled back to Russia and had a party with our family there.

 

 

[mytruelove18 608]

Me and my fiance, we will go to Las Vegas and get marry, without famaily, then when i do aos, we eill come back to my home country and we will go to celebrate with my family members.

I am going to do a family party on 2018 on my first visit.

I hope all is going to be ok

[janet3 1,170]

On 10/28/2017 at 3:38 AM, shawarma_frites said:

A K-1 sucks the joy out of wedding planning anyway given the fears of denial/RFEs and uncertain processing times. 

I returned from Algeria last night at midnight  (after traveling for 30 hours). I went to my fiance's interview with him  (the interview was on the 25th of October, I applied for the k1 on February 2, 2017, waited on the NOA2 for 169 days, then waited on an interview for 2 months). I am exhausted. I just want my fiance here with me. I do not care about weddings or venues or guests or dresses   (cake would be nice...I love cake). I am sure at this point in my life...the wedding isn't important....it's the marriage that matters.

[shawarma_frites 21]

12 hours ago, janet3 said:

I returned from Algeria last night at midnight  (after traveling for 30 hours). I went to my fiance's interview with him  (the interview was on the 25th of October, I applied for the k1 on February 2, 2017, waited on the NOA2 for 169 days, then waited on an interview for 2 months). I am exhausted. I just want my fiance here with me. I do not care about weddings or venues or guests or dresses   (cake would be nice...I love cake). I am sure at this point in my life...the wedding isn't important....it's the marriage that matters.

Welcome home. How did the interview go?

 

I am the last person to dream of a wedding, but a small and modest ceremony and reception recognizes a marriage within the extended family and community. I think that is especially important when bringing a foreign fiancé to the US on a K-1. 

 

Ceremonies and receptions exist so that people can bear witness to and celebrate the legal and social bonding of a couple. 

[pajobra 1,395]

12 hours ago, janet3 said:

I returned from Algeria last night at midnight  (after traveling for 30 hours). I went to my fiance's interview with him  (the interview was on the 25th of October, I applied for the k1 on February 2, 2017, waited on the NOA2 for 169 days, then waited on an interview for 2 months). I am exhausted. I just want my fiance here with me. I do not care about weddings or venues or guests or dresses   (cake would be nice...I love cake). I am sure at this point in my life...the wedding isn't important....it's the marriage that matters.

I have been following you and congrats on your approval.  As for the cake yes definitely cake. Chris and I are planning a courthouse ceremony with his best friend and mine and then we will go out for dinner. I plan on baking us a small one tier wedding cake because CAKE.  

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

20 minutes ago, pajobra said:

I have been following you and congrats on your approval.  As for the cake yes definitely cake. Chris and I are planning a courthouse ceremony with his best friend and mine and then we will go out for dinner. I plan on baking us a small one tier wedding cake because CAKE.  

 

The cake is critically important.  We went out after our courthouse wedding for coffee and cake.  

[Swissmiss82 1,620]

On ‎29‎/‎10‎/‎2017 at 3:25 PM, George & Roth said:

I'm going to get legally married right away, and have the party and ceremony within the year after she arrives.  That will eliminate the rush to plan everything.  

 

You need to be married within 90 days but you can have the party whenever you want.  

that's what we'll do also. we have our "big" wedding Oct 2018, but get married (just the two of us) in within 1-2 weeks after arrival.

[Nikki14 4]

Doing a court house wedding is what me and my fiance are planning too. We are stressing about so much, we didn't want to stress about planning anything big on top of it and our top priority is being able to be living together and married as soon as we can. <3 A wedding is secondary to us. Besides I have so many family members in the area, we'll probably end up being taken out to dinner so many times to celebrate, hahah. And we're gonna go to dinner the day of, with cake! That is the most important part.

[noraliz73 243]

I don't know what to tell you.  I never wanted to have any type of wedding in my life.  I'm not the type of person who likes to be the center of attention.  This waiting is crappy, but I can't say we have had a hard time yet since we are August filers.  All I know is that being married to my fiancé is the most important thing in the world to me with the exception of my children.  I can't focus on anything right now except trying to pass the time in a positive and constructive manner and not think too much about immigration.  I'm learning to cook.  However, I think that when the time comes, the desire to have a wedding will come too.  After all, most of us want to have a celebration of having our loved one with us here and have all of our family there to share our joy.  We want to make sure that we take them out for a very good meal and relax and just be a family that is finally all together.  Your enthusiasm will probably come, it just seems hopeless now.  And if it doesn't, there is nothing wrong with the two of you doing something low-key.  Make sure it is something happy that you will remember, though and take pictures.  When it is all said and done, you can go and have a big family celebration after you are already married.  Don't let other people tell you what you should do.  I think that getting married is something personal.  A lot of people have a big wedding to make their family happy and feel uncomfortable all day and later regret it.  A lot of bed and breakfasts and other places have nice elopement packages that will include everything for just the two of you.  It might be more romantic and memorable than just a courthouse.  As you get news you may feel more excited about looking into things.  But it is between the two of you.  Please remember that the aim is for the two of you to start your lives together and be well and happy together .  Good luck.