Is anyone else so emotionally drained from the K-1 process that they want to forgo a proper wedding (with ceremony & reception) and just go to the courthouse instead?

[shawarma_frites 21]

A K-1 sucks the joy out of wedding planning anyway given the fears of denial/RFEs and uncertain processing times. 

[Roel 7,193]

Not really. Just focus on your life, hobbies, friends or time you have left in your country. The process will fly. There are immigration processes far longer than k1. 

[Nafisa & Bryce 45]

I actually agree that it does take the joy out of planning when you can't do much to plan ahead. My fiancé and I are planning a courthouse wedding, just a few family and friends, whoever can come on short notice. Then we are going to have a bigger reception 5-6 months later that we can actually plan for. We have a baby on the way though (due in February, probably before he can be here ), so we aren't going to wait for him to come over once the visa is in hand. If you're willing to wait longer to be together after the visa is approved, I suppose you could have a little time to plan ahead (once the visa is approved, travel can take place within 6 months). Most of us have been waiting long enough to be together, though. That's really the important part for us-being together-so it feels like a small sacrifice to give up wedding planning. The wait and uncertainty about the time frame is killer though. I hope you and your loved one can be together soon, and I hope for all of us that the processing times will speed up!

[Brittani 484]

1 hour ago, shawarma_frites said:

A K-1 sucks the joy out of wedding planning anyway given the fears of denial/RFEs and uncertain processing times. 

Try not to be negative. I know it's horrible. Imagine not having your love but also having an infant with them that they have to constantly say good bye to. Yeah, that's my situation   We are planning on doing our vows at my local court house since we want his family here so we're doing an actual wedding ceremony on our one year anniversary so his family has more than enough time to get tickets and we can make it a magical day. Maybe that could be an option?

[Marcelina 246]

We don’t  plan a big reception wedding anyway. Just small celebration with family members and friends that will be able to join us so K-1 didn’t take my joy but I wouldn’t mind shorter processing times 😬

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

the people from easy countries don't understand what high fraud countries go thru with the wait

try getting denied K1 in  2009 after several visits 

married 2010 and CR1 and 2 more trips as immigration said i needed to have a honeymoom and the marriage part took 2 months alone

denied in 2011 with another 3 month visit and there for interview and embassy would not talk to me as my lawyer said to do

appeal and won case and court said marriage is bona fida ,   reapply

finally getting visa in 2015

 

what i am saying is this takes a lot of patience and a real realationship and if you make this K1 with successful interview, you are very lucky

we all hate the process as our life is on hold

we all hate the process as we have to bare all our personal and financial information to others

we all hate the process because as you see my journey, it can become quite expensive

 

but hang in there and try to keep your chats to an exciting romantic time as you would if you were dating in the US

and be sure your fiancee knows every thing and i mean every thing about you and your family

good luck

[Dashinka 24,767]

We took the time after the K1 was approved to plan the wedding.  I know most people when they get engaged want to immediately start planning, but when you include immigration in this it is not a good idea to do any planning until issues are decided.  There are many different ways to have a wedding, courthouse with a party later, small family affair at a private residence, and even a big affair is possible with planning.  The main thing is that a person is tying the knot with that special someone, and in the end, the actual wedding ceremony will pale in comparison to the marriage itself.

 

Good Luck!

[NicoAndNelle 127]

16 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

the people from easy countries don't understand what high fraud countries go thru with the wait

try getting denied K1 in  2009 after several visits 

married 2010 and CR1 and 2 more trips as immigration said i needed to have a honeymoom and the marriage part took 2 months alone

denied in 2011 with another 3 month visit and there for interview and embassy would not talk to me as my lawyer said to do

appeal and won case and court said marriage is bona fida ,   reapply

finally getting visa in 2015

 

what i am saying is this takes a lot of patience and a real realationship and if you make this K1 with successful interview, you are very lucky

we all hate the process as our life is on hold

we all hate the process as we have to bare all our personal and financial information to others

we all hate the process because as you see my journey, it can become quite expensive

 

but hang in there and try to keep your chats to an exciting romantic time as you would if you were dating in the US

and be sure your fiancee knows every thing and i mean every thing about you and your family

good luck

If this ain't love then what is?.…i am not from easy country(was denied tourist visa 3 times in the 6 years we together) but my country still isnt as hard as this. You guys are rockstars. 

 

[Abdeslam 47]

36 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

the people from easy countries don't understand what high fraud countries go thru with the wait

try getting denied K1 in  2009 after several visits 

married 2010 and CR1 and 2 more trips as immigration said i needed to have a honeymoom and the marriage part took 2 months alone

denied in 2011 with another 3 month visit and there for interview and embassy would not talk to me as my lawyer said to do

appeal and won case and court said marriage is bona fida ,   reapply

finally getting visa in 2015

 

what i am saying is this takes a lot of patience and a real realationship and if you make this K1 with successful interview, you are very lucky

we all hate the process as our life is on hold

we all hate the process as we have to bare all our personal and financial information to others

we all hate the process because as you see my journey, it can become quite expensive

 

but hang in there and try to keep your chats to an exciting romantic time as you would if you were dating in the US

and be sure your fiancee knows every thing and i mean every thing about you and your family

good luck

i totally agree with you , some people just don't understand how hard it is the get the K1 visa in a MENA country 

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

i think for me one of the things i missed was planning my own wedding and picking out the gown

as when i married in Moroc the marriage is not a ceremony but a signed contract / i went that day for what i thought was another interview (in jeans anda sweater) and found out i had married

then the marriage celebration was all planned by others including my 3 (very beautiful ) dresses

but i still missed out on the planning

be happy if you get this K1 and get to plan for yours

i will say that now my adil is getting to plan his citzenship in 2018 and the time since he came has passed fast and all the BS we went thru is finally worth it

incha allah all will go good for you and your financee

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

When you've been married a while, the wedding becomes unimportant.  Then again, I've never found any joy in wedding planning - probably why I've been twice married at the courthouse.  

 

In decades past before the Victorian obsession with the wedding dress as a status symbol, people often did something low-key just in their "Sunday best" clothes.  I have a beautiful photo of my grandmother on her wedding day in 1940ish, just in a smart skirt suit.  They had a great marriage.

[DandY 134]

7 hours ago, Roel said:

Not really. Just focus on your life, hobbies, friends or time you have left in your country. The process will fly. There are immigration processes far longer than k1. 

Quite easy to say for someone whose ENTIRE K1 process took less than half of what it is taking now.

[Roel 7,193]

10 minutes ago, DandY said:

Quite easy to say for someone whose ENTIRE K1 process took less than half of what it is taking now.

So? Not my fault that the process is longer now. And it will always feel even longer when someone just obsessively think about it. The time will fly when you find other things to focus on. I was lucky to have some tasks and hobbies to keep me occupied. 

[DandY 134]

8 minutes ago, Roel said:

So? Not my fault that the process is longer now. And it will always feel even longer when someone just obsessively think about it. The time will fly when you find other things to focus on. I was lucky to have some tasks and hobbies to keep me occupied. 

I'm saying that you didn't walk in our shoes. You were done in less than half the time we will experience (and I'm not sure how you inferred blame from a statement of fact). My point was, it is a bit pejorative to tell us the "process will fly". Had you experienced 9+ months for the entire process, you could speak with some authority. I can tell you with some authority having talked to many going through this now that the the emotional toll of the process is not linear, it is exponential. 8 months is considerably more than twice as difficult as 4 months.

[Roel 7,193]

Aaand? In the end you only "sacrafice" few months and get rewarded with spending the rest of your life with your loved one. Those few months aren't that bad. I never understand people who complain that few months of separation are so bad they lose hope, get depressed, etc. Just don't think about it and it will fly. Trust me. 

 

If you want to talk more, let me tell you how fun it is when your husband is away for months on military mission and you have no contact whatsoever (no phone, no internet) and you can't be sure if he come back ok. Or when he come back.  I'd go through the immigration process again and again instead of that.  it was easier.