Help... major conflict about fiancés children

[AZSunshine78 437]

 For the past year and a half, it has been next to impossible to see my fiancés children.

 

His ex-wife is choosing to restrict all access, even phone calls and FaceTime and has moved the children about five hours away.

 

She has repeatedly said to him, if you’re not going to be a full-time dad you’re not going to be a dad at all.

 

It is heartbreaking to watch him look through pictures and cry when he misses his kids. And it makes me so angry sometimes that his ex-wife won’t even allow a phone call or FaceTime.

 

We recently asked Asked to send his youngest a birthday card and she said until he had the intention of actually being a real father, he was not to contact her or the children in anyway.

 

He will be moving to the United States soon and the agreement that the children would spend summers and holidays with us is clearly not going to happen.

 

Are there any suggestions for what we can do so that the children know we love them very much and we are doing what has been asked by their mother.

 

a custody battle is not what we want.

 

The marriage was over a long time ago and the man she had an affair with is the man she is currently with. She states she is incredibly happy and we believe the children are in a very happy home, we just don’t understand why she is so angry at my fiancé.

 

We saw how much the children were hurting having to go back and forth and often crying at the tension and arguments from their mother.

 

im just feeling helpless but I know one day they’ll be old enough to understand that we did not abandon them and think of them every single day.

 

Advice/Suggestions?

[C-ma'am 684]

Sorry he is going through this. 

 

The ex clearly does not want to reason. The only course of action I see is the legal path. She will have to comply with the law. It may  not necessarily turn into a legal battle but family court will definitely help define a visitation regime that seems to be much needed.

 

 

[AZSunshine78 437]

Thank you for your post💛

[Lemonslice 4,830]

What's their custody agreement?  Could you move to him so you stay closer to the children? I do not see how things will improve if he's unable to keep in touch (because of distance and the mother's actions)...

[Darnell 8,478]

take a long look at the divorce document that the judge signed off on - what's the details on visitation, custody, fostering, monies, etc ? Don't tell us all, just - YOU READ it, try to figure out if there's a paragraph or two covering HIS access to the children.