Terrible Abandonment Situation

[HawaiiFarmer 3]

I've lived in Hawaii for 24 years.  I met a woman online from the Philippines and after traveling to the Philippines for a short trip to meet her, I came home and applied for fiancee visa. 

She arrived in Hawaii June 2015 and we got married August 2015.  She got pregnant November 2015 and received her conditional green card January 2016.

Without any discussion or indication, she left me and Hawaii without informing me in February 2016 to go live with her relatives in California and immediately signed up for government benefits and ignored the health insurance I already had for her.  Our son was born in California August 2016.  She never had any interest in reconciliation and made unreasonable demands to take our son back to the Philippines for a year or she'll divorce me.  She filed for divorce and sole custody in California in January 2017, falsely accusing me of abuse.  I was always kind to her, I never abused her.  I've been to California 10 times now since our son was born and am quickly going broke.  The abuse charges were dismissed in Court, and joint custody was ordered, but she has primary physical custody and our son is not allowed leave California, even though I tried my hardest to win custody and bring him back to Hawaii.  Now she has a lawyer that sued me for the affidavit of support I signed to get her the green card (and it was upheld) and I can no longer afford to stay in my home here in Hawaii, especially with my constant travel expenses to see my son.

I believe the marriage was fraud, she never wanted to live with me here on my farm, but only used me as a stepping stone to get to California, and knew she could exploit me once she got pregnant, but I don't know if I can get an annulment since we have a child together.

Does anyone have any advice?  Does she totally win, and I am forced to leave my home and farm, and she gets to live with her relatives in California with our son and I have to support her in her fraud?  What will happen when her conditional green card expires January 2018?  How should I report the situation?

This is truly the most challenging thing that has ever happened to me.  Thanks very much for any help.  Aloha.

[WandY 430]

Aloha Hawaii Farmer! I went to school at UofH-Manoa. Beautiful state and people to leave, but your situation is indeed dire. California laws are very different than many states, so getting an attorney in Cali is a good idea. Her use of federal benefits is probably against the law; California has very liberal state benefits, so don't know about that. Most of the people here are probably going to say "move on" etc. I think you need to seek the advice of a lawyer - even your own in Hawaii. I'd also let immigration know about the situation (her taking off, using benefits, taking the child out of state, etc.). I'm not sure about the legality of taking your unborn son out of Hawaii and the threat of leaving the country with your son. There's a lot of moving parts to your story. Get legal advice ASAP. Also, make sure she doesn't have access to any bank/credit account info. Change the proverbial locks on everything, if you haven't already. Good luck!

[HawaiiFarmer 3]

Hi, thank you for your response.  I can't ever "move on", because that's my only child and my ultimate responsibility.

An interesting thing regarding accounts; I had given her a credit card when she was here, and the first thing she did when she got to

California was to cancel it.  I always assumed that was so she could say she had no resources and could apply for benefits.

It's State and not Federal benefits (medical, food stamps, welfare) that she's been receiving, and she's now also receiving my child

and spousal support ordered by the Court.  It's as though she always knew the Court wouldn't take an infant from his Mother, and

that was the plan all along.

[Unlockable 7,314]

Sorry to hear of your story. Definitely sounds like a well thought out plan. At this point there is very little you can do about your situation. She is likely in California to stay. You can get legal representation to help  you with visitation as it is your right as a parent. This is more of a family court issue more than an immigration issue.

 

Wish you the best of luck.

[geowrian 22,337]

35 minutes ago, HawaiiFarmer said:

Does anyone have any advice?  Does she totally win, and I am forced to leave my home and farm, and she gets to live with her relatives in California with our son and I have to support her in her fraud?  What will happen when her conditional green card expires January 2018?  How should I report the situation?

Beyond the advice given above (which is good), be sure you get a hold of a good divorce attorney. It sounds like she planned this from the start, especially if there's a meritless abuse claim. This is a family court issue.

 

Before her card expires, she needs to file for ROC. Without your support, she needs a single filer waiver due to divorce. She needs to show that she entered into the marriage in good faith. If she cannot show that, or does not file, her LPR status will be revoked. However, these processes can take months or years. In the meantime, you are on the hook for the I-864. If the government decides to enforce it, they will send a bill for the public benefits obtained.

 

She's trying to sue for support under the I-864? Plus obtaining public benefits and spousal support? While it is technically possible, it's not an easy case and the existing support would be factored into the equation.

 

If you have evidence of her entering into the marriage solely for immigration benefits, then submit that to USCIS. You can schedule an InfoPass appointment. No guarantees they will do anything with it, but that's the process. Keep in mind it needs to be factual evidence...they won't just listen to the words of a former spouse.

 

4 minutes ago, NuestraUnion said:

This is more of a family court issue more than an immigration issue.

Very true...the immigration responsibility is in her court now.

[HawaiiFarmer 3]

Thank you again.  Yes, while I've always rejected what you wrote, Nuestra, I'm sadly realizing there is very little I can do.

Yes, we have only been in California Family Court.  My wife's lawyer presented the I-864 to the Judge, and the Judge said I have to support her at

125% of the poverty level.  My wife does also have an order to seek work, but I don't know how enforceable that will be.

My understanding is she won't be collecting public assistance once this goes into effect.  It was just ordered last week.

I don't know if I'll be responsible for the public monies she's already taken (for 20 months now).

 

It's unreal how she can do this.  She has the power to destroy my situation here.  I don't own my home or farm, but I've

built them both from scratch over the past 18 years and love it here and think it's a great place. 

I am low income, though, I can't afford to support her, maintain my place

here, and travel to California, so I feel I'm forced to move to California and start a new life if I want to be near my son.

 

My question is if I should take the initiative and report my situation to USCIS before she applies to remove her conditions,

i.e., have my story in before she tells them I abused her.

What kind of evidence could I have that she entered the marriage solely for immigration benefits ?  When we got married,

I was totally fooled, I thought she'd be living with me a very long time here on the Big Island, certainly not 6 months.

I imagine this scam has happened before, once you get pregnant you leave your husband and go to another State;

you get the child and he has to pay for it.  I've heard the expression "Anchor babies".

 

Thanks again for any feedback.

[Villanelle 4,122]

There is nothing you can do. Sorry.

 

Family court is family court. She lives in CA now, so everything will go through the CA family court. They dont care if you dont live in CA, and will not order her to move and they can care less if you have to travel to see your child or need to relocate.

 

By the same token immigration is immigration. You have ZERO proof that she used you for a greencard, so you can forget about doing anything to impact her immigration status. Again, I am sorry. If I thought you had something I would gladly help you to report it,. but you have nothing.

 

You also got lucky if you believe it with the 864 demanding/ordering her to seek work. When someone sues under the 864 (which happens more and more nowadays) Often they are not ordered to seek employment to migate the support due. So in that aspect you were lucky.

 

You also dont have to worry much about the gov coming after you for benefits she may have or does receive. While the gov has the right to ask for the money back, currently they are not. It costs them more to collect then they actually collect, so no one collects it. This may change in the future but for right now its how it is.

 

 

[HawaiiFarmer 3]

Mahalo.

[shell20 746]

16 hours ago, HawaiiFarmer said:

Mahalo.

If I was in your footsteps and she claimed abuse and it was found out there was no abuse, I would take that information to the USCIS. especially if you have it on court orders,  It proves she is deceitful and lies and if she lies about that, she probably has lied with regarding immigration. It's a long shot I know, but it's worth a try.   

 

If  for ROC shortly she then has to wait for another couple of years, five years from her conditional card to file for Naturalization.  You would be liable for her until that date for any benefits received, obviously you are going to be liable for maintenance for your child for years to come.   Good luck with what you choose to do, sorry you have been treated so badly!

[geowrian 22,337]

6 hours ago, shell20 said:

If  for ROC shortly she then has to wait for another couple of years, five years from her conditional card to file for Naturalization.  You would be liable for her until that date for any benefits received

Five years is the soonest she can qualify. She doesn't have to go for naturalization...she can remain an LPR fine and the I-864 remains in effect (unless she accrues 40 quarters of work, dies, or loses LPR status and leaves).

[shell20 746]

3 hours ago, geowrian said:

Five years is the soonest she can qualify. She doesn't have to go for naturalization...she can remain an LPR fine and the I-864 remains in effect (unless she accrues 40 quarters of work, dies, or loses LPR status and leaves).

To be honest I don't know the ins and outs of divorce and such and I don't know if his wife can go for naturalization or is allowed too. I just assumed that would be the case and hopefully for the OP she will. Nothing would surprise me with her. Just my thoughts on what I would do in their situation, although let's be honest unless he has concrete evidence, it's a no goer!

[Ontarkie 14,236]

Honestly I think you had a lousy attorney. If you are about to lose everything you have. You were clearly not represented properly. Seek another attorney to see if things can be adjusted (i'm far from knowing the law but I know I couldn't ask for more then what my ex had to live off) 

Edited October 26, 2017 by Ontarkie

[HawaiiFarmer 3]

Yes, Ontarkie, I had a lousy attorney, because I self-represented.  I know that was a mistake but I just didn't think I could afford it, especially in a different state.  I wasn't afraid because I knew I didn't do anything wrong, and didn't dream the Affidavit of Support would be upheld.  But I've only learned how powerless I am.  I always thought my wife's actions, to lie and commit perjury, and to sue me for the kindness I did her by signing the Affidavit of Support would only show she is unfit to parent and I would win custody, but I was wrong.  Do you think going into debt and hiring an attorney will really change the outcome?  Even if the amount of money I have to give her is reduced, I still don't think I'll be able to bring my son back to Hawaii, and I don't want to live in a different state than my son.

[Ontarkie 14,236]

2 hours ago, HawaiiFarmer said:

Yes, Ontarkie, I had a lousy attorney, because I self-represented.  I know that was a mistake but I just didn't think I could afford it, especially in a different state.  I wasn't afraid because I knew I didn't do anything wrong, and didn't dream the Affidavit of Support would be upheld.  But I've only learned how powerless I am.  I always thought my wife's actions, to lie and commit perjury, and to sue me for the kindness I did her by signing the Affidavit of Support would only show she is unfit to parent and I would win custody, but I was wrong.  Do you think going into debt and hiring an attorney will really change the outcome?  Even if the amount of money I have to give her is reduced, I still don't think I'll be able to bring my son back to Hawaii, and I don't want to live in a different state than my son.

i'm sorry try to see if you can get a phone consult with a few attorney's some will do free or at least low cost. Then you can at least see if you can get things changed, I know some states make it so you can only do changes after so much time. No I doubt you could bring your son back to Hawaii since he was born in California, they have jurisdiction now. I guess you can always check with a lawyer in Hawaii. 

 

Having to move and then find work would also put financial strain on you and I doubt the courts would give you a break on support. So do not do something that puts you in a position that you can't pay what you are ordered. That's the last thing you need. If you do move make sure you get a strong visitation order set. Outline everything and I mean everything. She does not seem like the type who will be flexible or cooperative. 

 

Good luck and I hope somethings can be adjusted.