What constitutes a "fiance"?

[kanderson101 131]

Hi all,

I'd really appreciate some advice on this topic. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years now, but because we're relatively young we don't have the money to pay for a wedding. Technically, my boyfriend hasn't yet proposed in a "formal" way. That being said, we are planning on submitting an I-129f. We have both agreed that we will get married within the 90 day time limit, but we don't want many of our friends to know. We plan on getting "publically" engaged/married in a few years when we have the means to do so. I'm wondering if this will raise a red flag at immigration. I don't have a ring/proposal story/wedding plans to discuss but I thought if I was honest and discussed the financial reasons why we aren't formally engaged that would be okay.

 

Does anyone feel that this would be unacceptable in an interview? 

 

Thanks so much, this is really the only thing I'm worried about. 

[bakphx1 789]

The answer is always "it depends". 

 

However, you have a long relationship which overrides a lot. 

 

Nothing says you have to have a party or show that you've told anyone.  I wouldn't highlight that point, but just have a wedding date.  I guess the decision to file for the visa is a proposal. 

 

I think with your long history, other proof, just saying how you agreed it was time to get married and having a civil ceremony should be fine.  Having a later bigger ceremony is not unusual at all when visa timelines must be met. 

[Naes 12,205]

27 minutes ago, kanderson101 said:

Hi all,

I'd really appreciate some advice on this topic. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years now, but because we're relatively young we don't have the money to pay for a wedding. Technically, my boyfriend hasn't yet proposed in a "formal" way. That being said, we are planning on submitting an I-129f. We have both agreed that we will get married within the 90 day time limit, but we don't want many of our friends to know. We plan on getting "publically" engaged/married in a few years when we have the means to do so. I'm wondering if this will raise a red flag at immigration. I don't have a ring/proposal story/wedding plans to discuss but I thought if I was honest and discussed the financial reasons why we aren't formally engaged that would be okay.

 

Does anyone feel that this would be unacceptable in an interview? 

 

Thanks so much, this is really the only thing I'm worried about. 

The main thing is you have to be married in 90 days after entering with a k1 visa.

 

Future plans are important. Not that you have an engagement ring or a party, but being publicly official is also important cause it means you're genuine. I don't think financial reasons would be a good start.

 

financial reasons and beliefs on not having a ring or a party is ok. But the rest may seem weird. 

 

And during the AOS process too, they may ask for photos of wedding (or at least city hall pictures), pictures with friends and family. People who know you're married-getting married- 

 

But again it always depends on your evidence. 

 

Edited October 22, 2017 by Naes

[kanderson101 131]

That's very helpful! Thank you both. We're definitely both on board with getting married, but the actual wedding will probably be a few years from now. I suppose the best thing to do is just to be clear about that.  Our families both know, and some very very close friends, it's just not something we're sharing with everybody yet. I suppose you could say that we'd both just like our actual wedding to be somewhat of a "surprise". It's not much of a surprise when you've been married for 2 years hahaha. 

 

Thank you! 

[geowrian 22,337]

Agreeing to marry each other (within the 90 days of entry on a K-1) is all that they care about. No formal proposal or ring or whatever is needed. Having plans to spend your lives together in the US is important, not how you agreed to do so.

 

I wouldn't bring up why you aren't very public with the engagement...focus on showing  them why you're a bona fide couple (not trying to prove you're not fraudulent). Many people aren't public with it, but it's always possible they will ask about it (or even ask around in some rare circumstances), so it's probably better for those close to you knowing what it going on.

 

1 minute ago, kanderson101 said:

We're definitely both on board with getting married, but the actual wedding will probably be a few years from now. I suppose the best thing to do is just to be clear about that.  Our families both know, and some very very close friends, it's just not something we're sharing with everybody yet. I suppose you could say that we'd both just like our actual wedding to be somewhat of a "surprise". It's not much of a surprise when you've been married for 2 years hahaha.

I assume you mean thee traditional wedding celebration will be in a few years. You will need to be actually married withing the 90 days. I'm not suggesting you would do this, but I would highly suggest not using that kind of wording around anybody in immigration...

Edited October 22, 2017 by geowrian

[kanderson101 131]

That is a good point! Yes, I meant the celebration. We would get married in a heartbeat if his visa is approved. : )  Thank you for the tip though, it's good to be aware of wording as I'm sure that's important during interviews. Thank you!

[caliliving 606]

alot of people i know did this. where are you from? if it isnt a high fraud country (Canada, VWP countries) you will be fine!

[kanderson101 131]

I'm American, my boyfriend is from Belgium! I don't believe that's a high-fraud country. And we have tons of proof of relationship if needed so in general I'm not concerned. It was just this one thing that I was worried about explaining. 

[caliliving 606]

4 minutes ago, kanderson101 said:

I'm American, my boyfriend is from Belgium! I don't believe that's a high-fraud country. And we have tons of proof of relationship if needed so in general I'm not concerned. It was just this one thing that I was worried about explaining. 

Yes you are fine!! it isnt high fraud so you wont have any problems! lots of people i know never told anyone bc they wanted a 'big' wedding later and knew if people found out, no one would come! Belgium is low fraud, you wont have any issues:) 

[Roel 7,192]

If you don't have a money for a wedding how are you planning on paying for your foreign fiance AOS (over 1000$) and also supporting him when he arrives and he's unable to legally work for 3 to 4 months from the moment you submit aos? Also no one promise he will find a job fast even with a job permit. Also with k1 visa you have to get married with in 90 days. 

[kanderson101 131]

Hi Roel, those are good questions. My income allows for supporting my boyfriend while he is unable to work as well as paying for the AOS, and he has savings as well. Additionally, I am lucky enough to have a family that will support me in the event that I need to prove my ability to provide (e.g. affidavit of support). While we could technically afford to have a wedding celebration/party, our plans for such a celebration would include families and friends from two different continents, and at this point in time our money is better spent elsewhere. We have no problem getting married within 90 days, but we won't be having the traditional wedding celebration at that time. Thanks!

[Missabc 626]

Me and fiance just got approved a couple weeks ago... our plan is to get married in a court house in January but it will be very intimate with only my dad and his mum and dad attending. I was the same as you I wanted to have a big wedding and at first I was in the mind set of not telling anybody apart from family and close friends as I wouldn't want our marriage in January to take the shine away from our big wedding. As time went on I was thinking 'hm when we get married I'll want to shout it from the rooftops lol' so I changed my mind. We're still having the intimate wedding in January and then plan on a big wedding in 2020 for everybody to attend, my family is from the UK so I wanted to give them enough time to save to be able to attend. 

 

 

We both announced our plans to our family and friends and they are all so excited to go! The thing is, the shine won't be taken from your big wedding as the majority of the people attending won't have witnessed your first small wedding and they will be excited to be able to share that happy & special day with you! 

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

Financee is a promise to marry

you will have to both do letter of intent to marry

that is all for this question

[JFH 12,189]

What constitutes a fiancé? Nothing at all. It's not a legal status, just a traditional, old-fashioned word for someone that one intends to marry. For the I-129F to be approved you only need to prove that you are a USC, you are both eligible and free to marry (old enough, not already married to someone else or each other) you have met in person at least once in the last 2 years and you must sign a statement that you intend to marry within 90 days of the foreigner arriving in the USA. No rings, parties, Facebook status updates, wedding dress patterns, etc etc are required. Many couples don't have a proposal. We didn't. We just reached the point in our relationship where we both knew we had found the person we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with and we gradually started putting plans together to get married. He didn't get down on one knee, didn't ask my father for permission, we didn't have a party or a ring. We didn't want any of that. That just seems very old-fashioned to us. 

 

I would be very wary of making references to financial reasons for any of your decisions. There could be questions asked as to how you can support him for the several months he can't work. You have mentioned that you make enough to support him, pay a few thousand in visa fees and he has savings. Makes me wonder how expensive you think an "engagement" needs to be, if despite all that you don't think you have enough? Or a wedding for that matter. Our rings cost $30 each. My dress was on a sale rail for $40. No flowers, no photographer. Simple courthouse wedding. License was $35. We paid $150 for the ceremony and to have customized vows. Afterwards we had cheeseburgers at Red Robin. We easily had change from $400 for everything. Husband wore his regular clothes. We are no less married than anyone else. I have always been of the opinion that if you are waiting until you have enough money to get married, you will never get married. And the focus should be on the marriage, not the wedding. Anyone can have a wedding. Anyone can make a promise. It's keeping the promise that matters. Good luck to you both. 

Edited October 22, 2017 by JFH

[optlh0 19]

6 hours ago, kanderson101 said:

but the actual wedding will probably be a few years from now

For immigration purposes the actual wedding will be within 90 days of your arrival. Don't talk at all about a different wedding or another wedding. That could really raise red flags. Keep it simple and just say you're getting married within 90 days.