Need Support

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

Hi Everyone,

 

Today is the worst day of my life. On my previous post, we did mention about family rejection. Today, officially I already move out from my parents house. It is hard. It is really hard when parents make you choose between them and my fiance. I know that some of you might be thinking, they are your parents, what are you thinking. You should choose them not that guy. However, I already made my choice and there is no turning back for me. I can just hope that everything will be getting better and we can working out the relationship between us and my parents. I really hope that. To be honest, it is hard to be apart with my family. I know that my parents love me so much, that is why they react like that. However, in the same time I'm in love with my fiance too. If it is possible, i don't want to make a choice. I want both of them. My family and my fiance. Both of them are so important to me. It is hard to see my mom crying because of me. When I saw that, in my mind, I keep on thinking, did I make a right decision. I can still contact with my mom and my siblings, however, my dad don't want to contact with me anymore. Hmmmmm... it is hard. Hopefully we will get our NOA2 soon. I really appreciate if someone can give me some soothing words or might even share their experience with me. I really need that now 

 

Regards,

Afi

[KULtoATL 1,551]

Sorry to hear about your family issues. I am not sure why your relationship faces family rejection but you've made your choice. All you can do now is stay strong and keep moving forward. There's nothing you can do to fix your relationship with your father immediately given his current anger and disappointment (and his pride!). He will not forgive you anytime soon but he will in years to come. 

 

Hopefully you have your living arrangements sorted out. Spend some time with some friends and focus on your K-1 visa application process. You've come this far so when you do get the NOA2, I'm sure you want to ace that interview, get the visa and move to be with your fiance, building a new life and home together.

 

I'm just a PM away if you need ever need me

[HOORAY7 165]

19 minutes ago, MalaysiaUS said:

Hi Everyone,

 

Today is the worst day of my life. On my previous post, we did mention about family rejection. Today, officially I already move out from my parents house. It is hard. It is really hard when parents make you choose between them and my fiance. I know that some of you might be thinking, they are your parents, what are you thinking. You should choose them not that guy. However, I already made my choice and there is no turning back for me. I can just hope that everything will be getting better and we can working out the relationship between us and my parents. I really hope that. To be honest, it is hard to be apart with my family. I know that my parents love me so much, that is why they react like that. However, in the same time I'm in love with my fiance too. If it is possible, i don't want to make a choice. I want both of them. My family and my fiance. Both of them are so important to me. It is hard to see my mom crying because of me. When I saw that, in my mind, I keep on thinking, did I make a right decision. I can still contact with my mom and my siblings, however, my dad don't want to contact with me anymore. Hmmmmm... it is hard. Hopefully we will get our NOA2 soon. I really appreciate if someone can give me some soothing words or might even share their experience with me. I really need that now 

 

Regards,

Afi

Very sorry to hear this for you.  In time your family will see the happiness you will have with your fiancé and that is what matters. Never easy, this process and family/friends opinions, but only we can know the true ties.  You are merely taking the next step in your life, in a different path, nothing wrong with that, but change scares anyone.  In time, they will see you and fiancé's happiness.  Hoping for the best, lean on those that will be there to support you and stay the course, love.  Best wishes!

[LabOz 915]

Hi is this a religious issue?

I'm sorry they are treating you like this.

When you are in America they will not see you for a long time while you are adjusting status.

The majority of K-1's that come to USA don't go back for at least 2-3 years but there are exceptions.

Once some time has past and if you 2 have kids that may be enough to turn your families attitude around.

 

Hoping for your NOA 2 soon so you can start your new lives here in America land of the Free Home of the Brave.

 

Steven

 

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

6 hours ago, KULtoATL said:

Sorry to hear about your family issues. I am not sure why your relationship faces family rejection but you've made your choice. All you can do now is stay strong and keep moving forward. There's nothing you can do to fix your relationship with your father immediately given his current anger and disappointment (and his pride!). He will not forgive you anytime soon but he will in years to come. 

 

Hopefully you have your living arrangements sorted out. Spend some time with some friends and focus on your K-1 visa application process. You've come this far so when you do get the NOA2, I'm sure you want to ace that interview, get the visa and move to be with your fiance, building a new life and home together.

 

I'm just a PM away if you need ever need me

Thank you so much for your support. I'm trying really hard right now to stay strong and moving forward. It just that when I'm alone, it is hard to be strong. When I'm having something to do, it is fine. But, when I don't have anything to do, that is the hardest time. I hope we can get our NOA2 soon so that I will not be alone and I have him by my side to comfort me. 

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

6 hours ago, Julie and Kerren said:

Very sorry to hear this for you.  In time your family will see the happiness you will have with your fiancé and that is what matters. Never easy, this process and family/friends opinions, but only we can know the true ties.  You are merely taking the next step in your life, in a different path, nothing wrong with that, but change scares anyone.  In time, they will see you and fiancé's happiness.  Hoping for the best, lean on those that will be there to support you and stay the course, love.  Best wishes!

Thank you so much for your support, love. Yes, agree with that. This process never be easy. And the fact that there will be lots of changes (example, moving to States), yes, it did scared my parents a lot. I'm hoping by the time pass, everything will be getting better and the relationship will getting better too. I love both of them, my family and my fiance. I know that no matter whom I choose, I will still going through this. 

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

4 hours ago, LabOz said:

Hi is this a religious issue?

I'm sorry they are treating you like this.

When you are in America they will not see you for a long time while you are adjusting status.

The majority of K-1's that come to USA don't go back for at least 2-3 years but there are exceptions.

Once some time has past and if you 2 have kids that may be enough to turn your families attitude around.

 

Hoping for your NOA 2 soon so you can start your new lives here in America land of the Free Home of the Brave.

 

Steven

 

Hi Steven,

 

Yes, it is a religious issue, they knew that my fiance will be converting soon. However, they are afraid that I will be converting after I'm coming to States (which I don't even think about). I think another issue is that they are afraid that they will be losing me (since I will be moving to States). I can't prove anything to them now, since I can only prove with when we are married. It is tough. But, I'm glad my fiance is very supportive. We were planning to visit my parents within the first year, so that they knew that they are not losing me. I hope I'm strong enough to go through this. Thank you so much for your support. 

[KULtoATL 1,551]

15 minutes ago, MalaysiaUS said:

Thank you so much for your support. I'm trying really hard right now to stay strong and moving forward. It just that when I'm alone, it is hard to be strong. When I'm having something to do, it is fine. But, when I don't have anything to do, that is the hardest time. I hope we can get our NOA2 soon so that I will not be alone and I have him by my side to comfort me. 

Things came crashing down for me a year ago. It wasn't family rejection but it involved my family. Like yourself, I ended up moving out for good. It was really difficult from emotionally to financially. I was just as alone as you. I didn't spend time wallowing. Instead, I went into planning and executing mode. First, I worked out my finances. After that's done, I was searching for rentals, looking into what fits my budget yet convenient and then made my decision fairly quickly on which unit I was interested in leasing. Thereafter, I packed up my stuff and moved out immediately, all on my own. No joke. I never thought I could do all that until I did. Believe me, it will all be very, very difficult at first but once you have adjusted to your "new life" and found a "new normal", everything will be less terrifying and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel again. 

[June2017UK 430]

9 hours ago, MalaysiaUS said:

Hi Everyone,

 

Today is the worst day of my life. On my previous post, we did mention about family rejection. Today, officially I already move out from my parents house. It is hard. It is really hard when parents make you choose between them and my fiance. I know that some of you might be thinking, they are your parents, what are you thinking. You should choose them not that guy. However, I already made my choice and there is no turning back for me. I can just hope that everything will be getting better and we can working out the relationship between us and my parents. I really hope that. To be honest, it is hard to be apart with my family. I know that my parents love me so much, that is why they react like that. However, in the same time I'm in love with my fiance too. If it is possible, i don't want to make a choice. I want both of them. My family and my fiance. Both of them are so important to me. It is hard to see my mom crying because of me. When I saw that, in my mind, I keep on thinking, did I make a right decision. I can still contact with my mom and my siblings, however, my dad don't want to contact with me anymore. Hmmmmm... it is hard. Hopefully we will get our NOA2 soon. I really appreciate if someone can give me some soothing words or might even share their experience with me. I really need that now 

 

Regards,

Afi

No matter how old you are, parents find it very difficult to let go. Time will heal.

[Perfect two 💑 1,147]

2 hours ago, KULtoATL said:

Things came crashing down for me a year ago. It wasn't family rejection but it involved my family. Like yourself, I ended up moving out for good. It was really difficult from emotionally to financially. I was just as alone as you. I didn't spend time wallowing. Instead, I went into planning and executing mode. First, I worked out my finances. After that's done, I was searching for rentals, looking into what fits my budget yet convenient and then made my decision fairly quickly on which unit I was interested in leasing. Thereafter, I packed up my stuff and moved out immediately, all on my own. No joke. I never thought I could do all that until I did. Believe me, it will all be very, very difficult at first but once you have adjusted to your "new life" and found a "new normal", everything will be less terrifying and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel again. 

I'm trying to find a place to settle down now. Currently I just staying at a temporary place. Hopefully it will not take longer time for us to get the NOA2. And yes, need to working out with the budget too. I don't have lots of saving, so, a bit suffering right now. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Just curious, have you ever feel regret moving out from the house? 

[John & Rose 7,239]

10 hours ago, MalaysiaUS said:

Hi Everyone,

 

Today is the worst day of my life. On my previous post, we did mention about family rejection. Today, officially I already move out from my parents house. It is hard. It is really hard when parents make you choose between them and my fiance. I know that some of you might be thinking, they are your parents, what are you thinking. You should choose them not that guy. However, I already made my choice and there is no turning back for me. I can just hope that everything will be getting better and we can working out the relationship between us and my parents. I really hope that. To be honest, it is hard to be apart with my family. I know that my parents love me so much, that is why they react like that. However, in the same time I'm in love with my fiance too. If it is possible, i don't want to make a choice. I want both of them. My family and my fiance. Both of them are so important to me. It is hard to see my mom crying because of me. When I saw that, in my mind, I keep on thinking, did I make a right decision. I can still contact with my mom and my siblings, however, my dad don't want to contact with me anymore. Hmmmmm... it is hard. Hopefully we will get our NOA2 soon. I really appreciate if someone can give me some soothing words or might even share their experience with me. I really need that now 

 

Regards,

Afi

Afi,

 

You need to live your life.  There is no way I would choose a parent who hates over a partner who loves.  I feel for you but this is your life and them making you choose like that will hurt them more than it hurts you.  I just hope they realize that sooner or later.

 

My family is praying for your happiness.  Life is not a dress rehearsal.  You got one shot at this.  Choose love always!!!

 

John

[KULtoATL 1,551]

1 hour ago, MalaysiaUS said:

I'm trying to find a place to settle down now. Currently I just staying at a temporary place. Hopefully it will not take longer time for us to get the NOA2. And yes, need to working out with the budget too. I don't have lots of saving, so, a bit suffering right now. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Just curious, have you ever feel regret moving out from the house? 

Nah, no regrets. I'm happier and no longer stressed 24/7 I'd do it all over again. 

 

In this situation, if you really can't handle it financially and desperately need some help, try to ask for your fiance's assistance. Don't be ashamed to ask for help when you truly need it. I'm sure your fiance would like to help as little or as much as he can. 

 

Regardless of the help rendered by anyone, always help yourself too. If you don't help yourself, no one can help you.

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

1. sometimes parents can see pending problems and are aware of what challenges you will face
2. it is not always an issue of wanting to control or hang on to you 
3. in Morocco if the mother does not like the daughter-in-law-to-be the man probably would not marry
4. we all hope u never have to regret your decision but differences in culture, religion, age are hard to overcome
5. and i don't know your age / they may think u r too young and immature 
6. please i am not judging just bring up things parents look at
7. good luck and be happy in anything u do as u have to live with your decisions 
8. I never told either of my boys not to marry as this is their life
9. and thank God, when i lost my husband and decided to marry again, they did not judge me and Adil

Edited October 11, 2017 by adil-rafa

[Suss&Camm 2,213]

I would never say choose your parents in the situation you are in. They already lived much of their life and it is your turn to live yours. You are strong to have stood up for yourself! If you would have chosen differently I think you would end up recenting your parents and not being happy at all. If you have found love they will realize this eventually. The only thing you should worry about is making yourself happy, and while doing so living up to your promises to your parents and they will see that they were wrong to treat you so harshly.

Edited October 11, 2017 by Suss&Camm

[ty15 43]

I’m so sorry.. :-(

I know it’s hard but you shouldn’t live your life based on people’s opinions, yes, even your parents. They still love you to death, I’m sure. They will get over it just give it some time. Sometimes distance helps sorting things out. God loves every single one of us the same way. It doesn’t matter what religion, we all believe in the same God. God brought you two together despite different culture and religion. Pray and live your life. Your parents will forgive you. It’s not worth it to ruin your happiness with your parents negativity. Trust me, everything will work out. I will pray for you.

Edited October 12, 2017 by ty15