I got scammed but can't prove it

[MikeandThea 11]

3 hours ago, Celeste & C said:

If she can't prove that she married you in good faith, she will be denied and put for removal proceedings. Again, based on what you are saying. She won't be able to prove anything... no commingled finances, nothing. 

 

Short marriage, no proof whatsoever that you were functioning as (what in the eyes of USCIS) is a marriage. Boom! Denied.

 

That's why you need to stay away from her and not be left alone. If she hasn't received her 2 year green card, she may claim abuse and go for a VAWA case. She will still have to submit proof of everything, but she will do anything in her power to say you abused her physically or mentally.  She already called the cops on you and that's a VERY red flag that she might be trying to build up an abuse claim.

 

 

Ok this is what I was looking for too! Thanks. I wasn't sure but now you are confirming what I thought....that even if she gets her AOS approved, she still may not get her 10 year GC because she won't be able to prove we have a bona fide marriage...because 1) We will not have been together from now til then, 2) no photos of us living together 3) no bills or other shared documents. Am I right? I really don't care what she does after our divorce but I just am worried about the I-864 financial obligations. If anyone is going to go on welfare, it's her. Maybe not soon, but before she completes 40 quarters, leaves or dies...that is for sure!

[Auds 223]

and don't rely just on your lawyer on the annulment.  Do some research yourself.  I believe you should be able to get an annulment which will surely help for her not to get her 10 yr GC.  Any way I don't think she is getting her 2 year one either based on time line.  She tried to play it smart but failed.  

 

Chin up.  XX

[MikeandThea 11]

32 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

I know the feeling, I recently went through annulment myself. Forget about revenge, she will get her hard part in life and you are lucky she is out of your life, the person like her could do more damage.

The sad thing is being so badly cheated and used hurt us so much and makes us unable to build another family. It take time to heal, just think it's all for better

Thanks for the reply. I still have to do a bunch of research on annulment. I know what it is and I think it will relieve me of alimony but I'm not sure, I've been so busy worrying about the I-864. I know that once the AOS is approved, I'm on the hook unless I pulled it in time. If I can't go that route, my attorney has given me two options for divorce and I just want to wait  until I know the status of her AOS before I decide which path to take. I'm sorry you went through a tough time too. It really sucks.

[MikeandThea 11]

5 minutes ago, Auds said:

and don't rely just on your lawyer on the annulment.  Do some research yourself.  I believe you should be able to get an annulment which will surely help for her not to get her 10 yr GC.  Any way I don't think she is getting her 2 year one either based on time line.  She tried to play it smart but failed.  

 

Chin up.  XX

Hey, thanks. Yeah, I'm going to do a bunch of research too. It does not appear that I will suffer too much if I can't get it but it seems fair to me since I was defrauded. Of course, its the proof that will be hard to present. So far, its all just circumstantial I think. I really have no proof. She did a good job of deceiving me. I never saw it until she blew up at me last Friday. Man, if I could somehow show how she's been since she got here and then show how she was on Friday when the subject of her texting my ex came up, any judge would know she is guilty! To me, her reaction was a sure sign of guilt. I should have called the Police on her! Hell, to be honest, she did kind of scare me she was so mad LOL. Anyway, thanks for the comment. I hope you're right.

[MeAlone 161]

I think your ex is doing a good job for you deceiving her and given her wrong advice. It will all fall apart for your wife, same happened to me, I saw how somebody was giving the wrong advice and it saved me from future troubles

[MikeandThea 11]

3 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

I think your ex is doing a good job for you deceiving her and given her wrong advice. It will all fall apart for your wife, same happened to me, I saw how somebody was giving the wrong advice and it saved me from future troubles

LOL! Yes, it appears that way. And, you know what? I was wondering...why would she do that? I think she is giving bad advice on purpose to ruin my marriage because she knows I'm stronger as a couple than alone. Here's the thing, up until June, my ex and I were NOT on good terms. Then suddenly, she became REAL nice, cooperating with me on everything in our custody of our son. I thought, 'hey, she respects that I've re-married and moved on'. NO. During the exchange of our child, she sent a 'gift' to my current wife..2 big bags of lotion, soap, female stuff...you know. My ex must have put a note in the bag in a way that only my wife would find it.....certainly in Tagalog. Probably saying something like, "call me at this number xxx-xxx-xxxx so I can tell you all his nasty violent secrets".  And so she lied to her, poisoned her on me and turned her against me with a promise of quick wealth from rich men just waiting for her.

[Dianalorena 1,153]

 I'm sorry you're going through this, OP.  On top of her using you for immigration porpoises having your ex-wife involved? crazy.

People that pretend to love their spouses to deceive them are pure evil, it hurts you and makes the process harder for all of us. 

 

I know it's incredibly hard especially right now because you're feeling betrayed and used, but there's no point in exhausting yourself.

I've noticed that a lot of people that have been scammed crave justice, they want the immigrant to be sent back home, and I get it.

But it shouldn't be your main concern or priority, let immigration deal with the aftermath, she'll struggle and most likely fail anyway. 

If the annulment is impossible, divorce and move on, try to rebuild your life.

I wish you the best of lucks! 

 

 

[Rc123rc 528]

You seemed to be obsessed with being on the hook financially.  Heed the advice given to you many times already instead of stressing out about what ifs. You withdrew the I-864. Financially you did what you were supposed to for immigration purposes. Don't be alone with her. Get an annulment. Sounds simple but the emotional toll is quite high. Good Luck.  Oh, and I might suggest you figure out why are so in to certain types of women. 2 strikes already. 

[MikeandThea 11]

1 minute ago, Dianalorena said:

 I'm sorry you're going through this, OP.  On top of her using you for immigration porpoises having your ex-wife involved? crazy.

People that pretend to love their spouses to deceive them are pure evil, it hurts you and makes the process harder for all of us. 

 

I know it's incredibly hard especially right now because you're feeling betrayed and used, but there's no point in exhausting yourself.

I've noticed that a lot of people that have been scammed crave justice, they want the immigrant to be sent back home, and I get it.

But it shouldn't be your main concern or priority, let immigration deal with the aftermath, she'll struggle and most likely fail anyway. 

If the annulment is impossible, divorce and move on, try to rebuild your life.

I wish you the best of lucks! 

 

 

Thanks so much to you...and everyone. Yes, it hurts and I can't help the feelings, as if revenge would help but I know you and the others are right. I just have to make sure I've done all I can and will do all I need to do to protect myself. Thanks again for your kind thoughts.

[MikeandThea 11]

2 minutes ago, rcripps said:

You seemed to be obsessed with being on the hook financially.  Heed the advice given to you many times already instead of stressing out about what ifs. You withdrew the I-864. Financially you did what you were supposed to for immigration purposes. Don't be alone with her. Get an annulment. Sounds simple but the emotional toll is quite high. Good Luck.  Oh, and I might suggest you figure out why are so in to certain types of women. 2 strikes already. 

I'm already paying child support and on the hook for one Filipina that was unfaithful. I don't know about you, but money for me is hard earned and limited, that is why I'm so concerned with that. Who wouldn't be? And the question of withdrawing the I-864 is not yet answered. I don't know for sure that I submitted it in time. It appears that my wife and whoever is helping her know the timelines, know what to do. I'm certainly behind the curve. If she gets her AOS, I'm responsible. Go read about what happens in court on these kinds of cases and see what hell men like me go through for women like that. Annulment is not a certainty at this point, only a possibility. I won't let her back. Why do I like Filipina women? Why do I like Cheeseburgers? Why Do I like the color Blue? My heritage if Filipino. My dad was from there. I went there, I liked the women.  Is it ok if I like what I like? I like brown skin, is that ok with you? I like petite women, it that ok with you? And, its not 2 strikes, this is not a game. I got used twice by two scheming women from a country that is apparently full of women who know how to do this well.  Why don't you tell me what kind of woman I should be looking for.

[MeAlone 161]

13 minutes ago, rcripps said:

You seemed to be obsessed with being on the hook financially.  Heed the advice given to you many times already instead of stressing out about what ifs. You withdrew the I-864. Financially you did what you were supposed to for immigration purposes. Don't be alone with her. Get an annulment. Sounds simple but the emotional toll is quite high. Good Luck.  Oh, and I might suggest you figure out why are so in to certain types of women. 2 strikes already. 

I understand PO, it is being obsessed, frustrated, hurt and at the same time still missing this person, crying, wishing this person back but it's impossible so we go to forum (friends in real don't stand to hear so many complains) and it is the way to went it again and again, it's trying to understand what did I wrong? Why did it happen with all my good intentions, spending and trying to do it all well? In my case, I am still from April talk about my pain and feel I failed in something but in what?

Let the OP talk, we all try to make a good marriage yet not all are lucky

[MeAlone 161]

and yes, we also understand we need to run and divorce or annul to protect ourselves, some of us we live in community property states and we know some immigrant ex wives got the support for years in the court using the Affidavit of Support. 

OP needs to be sure his Affidavit was cancelled, he also needs to end it all for to be able to start healing

[caliliving 606]

2 hours ago, SalandJaz said:

Thank you very much for your insight and thoughts. I know not all Filipina are like this but I sure failed to choose wisely. I did my research. She and I were Ox and Rat respectively....a perfect match, and we did get along so well. That's part of what is really killing me, we got along great! No problems, until last Friday. I guess Chinese Zodiac can't say what a person's moral virtues or priorities are. I do love the Philippines. My dad is from Bulacan, so that is my heritage, my blood. I just wanted to belong to a family as I have none to speak of here but you know, my first wife from Samar would not let me meet her family....and now that I look back, my current wife's family seemed to be cold. I guess I missed a vital clue. Regardless, I'm never going there again and I'm done with marriage. Better to live alone than with someone who does not love you. Thanks again.

LOL! Yes, I will. Thanks

I think it is best not to base love on a zodiac sign. dont you think?? also, how old was she compared to yourself? 

 

2 hours ago, Highmystic said:

Sorry to hear of the troubles you are going through... twice..   I have been warned of the scams filipina's can pull, because in the Philippines, a common stereotype is if a Filipina is with an American,  he is either rich or the woman is the maid or the hooker.  Sad case actually.  I Met my fiancée here in the US (she was on a visitors visa. NOTE:  IF your future selection does not have a passport of a visitor Visa to visit the US, then she may not be the best choice, as the gov  may feel that if she has nothing to show for a reason to come back to the PH and deny a visa).  And in the interim of the K1 waiting,  I went to the Philippines and  had some wonderful feasts,  great beer (Red Horse) and ate some great foods, met some wonderful people.  I did not catch your age, but I personally am 65 and my fiancée is 53. (We are both dragons).    There are SO many Filipina women here in the US.  I might suggest if you do prefer Filipina women,  find one who is already carded and looking for a husband and she has a job or marketable skills or a degree in education.  There are many looking.  BUT, I can tell you now, those "dating sites",   10 percent are real, the rest are scammers.  So many women way out of my league and half my age saying "love knows no bounds, age has nothing to do with it" .  They have a business, successful, then, oops, all of a sudden they need $500 to cover some expense they did not see coming and you see their profile pic in another city. .. LOL. I have gotten to spot a scam in 24 hours or so after contacting...  seen it a lot of times my friend!   For me, I am FB friends with her best friend, I know her neighbours, two of her bothers are friends on FB and I met one of them (Over a couple liters of Red Horse!  Oh, did I already mention Red Horse?).. I've met in person several of her relatives in Las Vegas, and  and her Niece advised with the KI as she owns a visa center business.  Bottom line.. if it seems to good to be true, it probably is.  Lock down any CC cards are bank accounts before it's too late, if you have not done that yet.  and then, as suggested by others.  Move on and find your soul mate. 

 

You sound like an honest and caring person.   Peace and good luck to you!!

 

 

I love these words of advice!! what you did to find love in another country people should really take advice from!  aka meeting another family and not giving money.  also, i hope more people would be as realistic as you were in finding a soul mate!  

 

the OP i am 99% sure she does not have a GC and you pulling your avadavit of support will make her ineligible.  regardless, dont give up on love! just go about finding it the right way, take things slow and heed the advice from above!!! warning clues are WARNINGS! proceed with caution:) 

[POA 178]

6 hours ago, SalandJaz said:

Hi, I met a Filipina, dated her in the Philippines and finally brought her here on a K1 and we got married in February 2017. We waited until our wedding night to consummate but she has hyperthyroidism and asked to wait because she didn't feel like it, so I did, patiently. Months went by and she said she just had no libido anymore so she saw a doctor who could find nothing wrong. Then a gynecologist, who said all was normal, saying it is usually a mental/emotional thing with a woman that young (32). So, she went to a therapist and is supposed to try to get help there but she missed her appointment this week and I suspect it was all just a ruse anyway.

 

This woman is the 2nd Filipina I have sponsored. The first one I met and sponsored over 10 years ago she went all the way to Permanent Status and a baby before she secretely found a very rich man to leave me for. After it was all over, I thought, "They (Filipinas) can't ALL be bad, right? So I went over there and found another who seemed so compatible so I took another chance. I just love Filipina women and have a thing for them, but not anymore.

 

Last Thursday, my wife got her EAD and AP card. We have been waiting for the notice for her AOS interview but it has not come to our Po box yet. On Friday, she started a fight with me, which is very out of character for her.  Then, later that night, I found out she had been talking to my Filipina ex-wife and I confronted her about it and she got really mad, denying it but we argued hotly over it because she said she didn't even have my ex-wife's phone number.  While I was out, she packed a suitcase, and left and then the Police came asking what happened. I told them we had an argument and when I got back, she was gone.

 

The cops said my wife had gone to the Police Station (how? she has no car and can't drive. Who took her?) to say she was scared of me but that there was no physical abuse and since there were no threats or physical harm, there were no charges and nothing more would come of it. So, she has left with no forwarding address. On Saturday, she sent me a text saying she's coming back, but doesn't know when butthat she left because she is so scared of me but I know that's not the truth. I began to dig and found she has been in constant communications with my ex-wife since June 6th, sometimes, hundreds of texts a day to each other. In addition, she's been in phone contact with at least 4 different men. I google the numbers and found them all and they are all single. She is also texting numerous local people I don't know dozens of times a day that I never knew about. We are - or I thought we were - a private couple, just living together but now I see that while alone, she has been very busy texting and making phone calls.

 

I now believe she came here only to get a green card, she must have changed her address on the USCIS website and intercepted the notice of interview for AOS or they just granted it without an interview. She of course never said anything about these people, saying she knows no one here except me. I pay the phone bills and I have access to all the calls and texts made, the phone numbers, to and from, but no content. I never looked at her phone activity because I trusted her fully. Now, I wish I had been more vigilant. Let that be a lesson to all.

 

To me, it all adds up to a scam marriage ....no sex, secret men friends, secretly talking to my ex-wife and then suddenly disappearing right after getting her EAD and right about the time she was supposed to get her AOS interview or approval without an interview.  Her name is not on anything besides the marriage certificate.

 

On Monday, I wrote up a letter officially asking to withdraw my I-864 and hand delivered it to the nearest USCIS office and gave it to a USCIS Immigration Officer who said she'd enter it in the record but I don't really know if she did or not and I don't know if by then it was too late already, she didn't say. Before I went there, I sent the same withdrawal request via express overnight mail to the USCIS addresss we sent the I-131 package too and I sent a copy to the Benefits Center in Missouri. I'm hoping I got it in on time but it doesn't appear so. How can I check that? The current Status says USCIS that as of September 18, 2017, they were ready to schedule and interview and would send a notice with the date but as I said, its now October 6, and it has not arrived in the PO box we put on the I-131, so I rather think she anticipated doing this and changed the address to a place she could intercept it, go on the interview without me, tell them that everything was fine and perhaps USCIS granted the 2 year GC to her without me knowing it.

 

I know I should have not married this woman but I did enter the marriage in good faith but she didn't.  I think it was her plan from the beginning to scam me to get a GC. What should I do? I don't want to be on the hook for her after this. I have a divorce attorney standing by but divorce is the easy part. I want her deported or at least I want out of the I-864 but if I was too late, then I'm screwed. She can't work because of her illness, she has no skills, no job, no money, no car. What are my options? Thanks in advance.

 

 

Annulment is the way to go if it wasn't consummated. I am sorry to hear about another this but I admire your braveness as I may call for trying it again with another pinay. It's true, we are not all bad but maybe try knowing them well, whatever nationality you may choose. You might still have a chance to pull the I-864. Once you succeed with that, she will definitely need to go home or worst, stay here illegally. Wish you all the best and be careful on your next choice. Don't ignore the red flags.

[NikLR 13,227]

In the eyes of the USCIS, they spent time together so it was consummated.  They don't ask for pictures of a couple having sex to prove it. 

In the eyes of the law, she could say they had sex and he could say they didn't.  Again, most probably don't take pictures of themselves having sex so how do you prove it was or wasn't?  It can't. 

Honestly, IMO, forget about any annulment and just get a divorce.