I got scammed but can't prove it

[Prystine 184]

Divorce and move on. Wishing ill on those who have hurt us or done us wrong only causes oneself grief. I know it's hard not to feel like they should pay for what they did but it's not worth holding onto that anger and hurt.

[MikeandThea 11]

1 hour ago, MaleAlpha said:

Adding my 2 cents.

 

Everything you indicated seems to show she screwed you. Good thing is, she hasn't received her green card yet so you can pull the i-864 which you have done. That should kill the petition.

 

Regarding next steps, I will just reiterate what everyone has been saying and sum it up here :

1. File an annulment instead of a divorce as that will help you best as she could get nasty with a divorce and you will be in the hole if you have property etc. that she wants (Divorce court doesn't really care about your immigration issues). Annulment on the basis of fraud and non-consummation will serve your best interest BUT keep in mind that an annulment may not be smooth as there is no way for you to prove the marriage wasn't consummated - she could lie. She could also argue it wasn't fraudulent.

 

2. Do not let her trick you back into a relationship nor get close to you without a trusted third party present. If you have to stay in a hotel or with a friend until this episode ends, go for it. Trust me, that will save you a lot of headache later regarding VAWA and having trumped up abuse and assault criminal charges pinned on you.

 

3. Once this episode is over and you are no longer married to her and have successfully withdrawn your i-864, MOVE ON. Whether she chooses to stick around in the US, go back, get's deported, get's married to a new person etc.should no longer be your concern. Karma will take care of it.

 

I wish you a happy life and sorry about everything you're going through.

Thank you my friend.

[MikeandThea 11]

1 hour ago, DrEllaNJ said:

If that's what the case status currently says, it's highly unlikely she already got the AOS approved. With you withdrawing the i-864, it becomes even harder. If there's an interview, she won't be approved if you're not there as bringing your spouse is a requirement. If I remember correctly, my status changed to 'your interview has been scheduled. A notice has been sent to you with the interview date' when the interview was actually scheduled. Once the green card was approved,  it changed to 'petition approved, card in production' / 'a card has been mailed to you through USPS -track it here'.

 

With K1, a lot of people don't have to do an interview, though. I didn't go through K1 so I don't know if your updates would be different?

Thank you for that. I was wondering what to look for as an indication. I put on my withdrawal letter that I wanted notification but it may take weeks to get it. Thanks again.

[MikeandThea 11]

5 minutes ago, Prystine said:

Divorce and move on. Wishing ill on those who have hurt us or done us wrong only causes oneself grief. I know it's hard not to feel like they should pay for what they did but it's not worth holding onto that anger and hurt.

You are right, but its easier said than done. I can divorce her, that I know. But years down the road, I'm afraid I'll get a Federal Subpoena to Immigration Court telling me I owe tens of thousands of dollars to the US for all the welfare she was on. And, it just kills me to think I might see her all happy with her new boyfriend after all I've done for her, all the love and devotion I gave her, the money, all that time, all that effort, all that paperwork, etc.....all to be discarded as a used toilet paper and flushed down the toilet. It hurts a lot. But I know time will heal the wounds. 

[Highmystic 234]

3 hours ago, SalandJaz said:

Hi, I met a Filipina, dated her in the Philippines and finally brought her here on a K1 and we got married in February 2017. We waited until our wedding night to consummate but she has hyperthyroidism and asked to wait because she didn't feel like it, so I did, patiently. Months went by and she said she just had no libido anymore so she saw a doctor who could find nothing wrong. Then a gynecologist, who said all was normal, saying it is usually a mental/emotional thing with a woman that young (32). So, she went to a therapist and is supposed to try to get help there but she missed her appointment this week and I suspect it was all just a ruse anyway.

 

Sorry to hear of the troubles you are going through... twice..   I have been warned of the scams filipina's can pull, because in the Philippines, a common stereotype is if a Filipina is with an American,  he is either rich or the woman is the maid or the hooker.  Sad case actually.  I Met my fiancée here in the US (she was on a visitors visa. NOTE:  IF your future selection does not have a passport of a visitor Visa to visit the US, then she may not be the best choice, as the gov  may feel that if she has nothing to show for a reason to come back to the PH and deny a visa).  And in the interim of the K1 waiting,  I went to the Philippines and  had some wonderful feasts,  great beer (Red Horse) and ate some great foods, met some wonderful people.  I did not catch your age, but I personally am 65 and my fiancée is 53. (We are both dragons).    There are SO many Filipina women here in the US.  I might suggest if you do prefer Filipina women,  find one who is already carded and looking for a husband and she has a job or marketable skills or a degree in education.  There are many looking.  BUT, I can tell you now, those "dating sites",   10 percent are real, the rest are scammers.  So many women way out of my league and half my age saying "love knows no bounds, age has nothing to do with it" .  They have a business, successful, then, oops, all of a sudden they need $500 to cover some expense they did not see coming and you see their profile pic in another city. .. LOL. I have gotten to spot a scam in 24 hours or so after contacting...  seen it a lot of times my friend!   For me, I am FB friends with her best friend, I know her neighbours, two of her bothers are friends on FB and I met one of them (Over a couple liters of Red Horse!  Oh, did I already mention Red Horse?).. I've met in person several of her relatives in Las Vegas, and  and her Niece advised with the KI as she owns a visa center business.  Bottom line.. if it seems to good to be true, it probably is.  Lock down any CC cards are bank accounts before it's too late, if you have not done that yet.  and then, as suggested by others.  Move on and find your soul mate. 

 

You sound like an honest and caring person.   Peace and good luck to you!!

 

 

[mcdull 474]

move on.

[MikeandThea 11]

2 minutes ago, Highmystic said:

Sorry to hear of the troubles you are going through... twice..   I have been warned of the scams filipina's can pull, because in the Philippines, a common stereotype is if a Filipina is with an American,  he is either rich or the woman is the maid or the hooker.  Sad case actually.  I Met my fiancée here in the US (she was on a visitors visa. NOTE:  IF your future selection does not have a passport of a visitor Visa to visit the US, then she may not be the best choice, as the gov  may feel that if she has nothing to show for a reason to come back to the PH and deny a visa).  And in the interim of the K1 waiting,  I went to the Philippines and  had some wonderful feasts,  great beer (Red Horse) and ate some great foods, met some wonderful people.  I did not catch your age, but I personally am 65 and my fiancée is 53. (We are both dragons).    There are SO many Filipina women here in the US.  I might suggest if you do prefer Filipina women,  find one who is already carded and looking for a husband and she has a job or marketable skills or a degree in education.  There are many looking.  BUT, I can tell you now, those "dating sites",   10 percent are real, the rest are scammers.  So many women way out of my league and half my age saying "love knows no bounds, age has nothing to do with it" .  They have a business, successful, then, oops, all of a sudden they need $500 to cover some expense they did not see coming and you see their profile pic in another city. .. LOL. I have gotten to spot a scam in 24 hours or so after contacting...  seen it a lot of times my friend!   For me, I am FB friends with her best friend, I know her neighbours, two of her bothers are friends on FB and I met one of them (Over a couple liters of Red Horse!  Oh, did I already mention Red Horse?).. I've met in person several of her relatives in Las Vegas, and  and her Niece advised with the KI as she owns a visa center business.  Bottom line.. if it seems to good to be true, it probably is.  Lock down any CC cards are bank accounts before it's too late, if you have not done that yet.  and then, as suggested by others.  Move on and find your soul mate. 

 

You sound like an honest and caring person.   Peace and good luck to you!!

 

 

Thank you very much for your insight and thoughts. I know not all Filipina are like this but I sure failed to choose wisely. I did my research. She and I were Ox and Rat respectively....a perfect match, and we did get along so well. That's part of what is really killing me, we got along great! No problems, until last Friday. I guess Chinese Zodiac can't say what a person's moral virtues or priorities are. I do love the Philippines. My dad is from Bulacan, so that is my heritage, my blood. I just wanted to belong to a family as I have none to speak of here but you know, my first wife from Samar would not let me meet her family....and now that I look back, my current wife's family seemed to be cold. I guess I missed a vital clue. Regardless, I'm never going there again and I'm done with marriage. Better to live alone than with someone who does not love you. Thanks again.

Just now, mcdull said:

move on.

LOL! Yes, I will. Thanks

[MeAlone 161]

18 minutes ago, SalandJaz said:

You are right, but its easier said than done. I can divorce her, that I know. But years down the road, I'm afraid I'll get a Federal Subpoena to Immigration Court telling me I owe tens of thousands of dollars to the US for all the welfare she was on. And, it just kills me to think I might see her all happy with her new boyfriend after all I've done for her, all the love and devotion I gave her, the money, all that time, all that effort, all that paperwork, etc.....all to be discarded as a used toilet paper and flushed down the toilet. It hurts a lot. But I know time will heal the wounds. 

I know the feeling, I recently went through annulment myself. Forget about revenge, she will get her hard part in life and you are lucky she is out of your life, the person like her could do more damage.

The sad thing is being so badly cheated and used hurt us so much and makes us unable to build another family. It take time to heal, just think it's all for better

[June2017UK 430]

4 hours ago, SalandJaz said:

Months went by and she said she just had no libido anymore so she saw a doctor who could find nothing wrong. Then a gynecologist, who said all was normal, saying it is usually a mental/emotional thing with a woman that young (32). So, she went to a therapist and is supposed to try to get help there but she missed her appointment this week and I suspect it was all just a ruse anyway.

 

 On Saturday, she sent me a text saying she's coming back, but doesn't know when butthat she left because she is so scared of me but I know that's not the truth.

 

If a marriage isn’t consummated then that is grounds for annulment (check your State’s law but I’m sure it’s common law).

List the medical professionals whom she went to and whom reported back nothing was physically wrong and the therapist whom she missed her appointment with.

 

Keep that text message saying she was coming back - objectively speaking, a reasonable person who was genuinely scared of you would never return to you and be alone with you. The authorities would scrutinise her on this.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide, but put your health first.

 

[MikeandThea 11]

1 hour ago, NuestraUnion said:

You have already gotten so very good advice on here. I just want to add something from my wife's and my experience. My wife's green card arrived in the mail exactly one week after her EAD/AP card arrived. So although it is unlikely that her GC is approved when she just received her EAD/AP, it is very possible that it could already be approved.

 

Since consummation never occurred, annulment is an option, although, discussing this option with your lawyer to see how difficult/time consuming it will be would be the best way to go for now.

 

Heed the advice from others to protect yourself and not be alone with her.

 

Thanks. I guess all I can do is wait, but I you know how USCIS is, there is really no way to tell when there are going to do anything. We all just have to wait on them to do their thing. Its just that I handled every single detail of this Visa Journey, she really couldn't do any of it without me telling her exactly what to do. IF she is scheming now, its with the help of someone. And yes, I have gotten much very valuable information here.

[MikeandThea 11]

I just want to give my deepest heartfelt thanks so all of you who have replied and given me information and shared their experiences. It is truly amazing how kind you all are. Thanks so much!

[MikeandThea 11]

5 minutes ago, June2017UK said:

If a marriage isn’t consummated then that is grounds for annulment (check your State’s law but I’m sure it’s common law).

List the medical professionals whom she went to and whom reported back nothing was physically wrong and the therapist whom she missed her appointment with.

 

Keep that text message saying she was coming back - objectively speaking, a reasonable person who was genuinely scared of you would never return to you and be alone with you. The authorities would scrutinise her on this.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide, but put your health first.

 

Thanks! Really good point about the "I'm coming back..." message.  My attorney said that if it was so bad, then she would have filed first thing Monday and as of now, she has not filed so it was all just a ploy to get the VAWA thing. My attorney is looking at the annulment on grounds of no consummation but he said he didn't think we can use that, I'll know more next week.

[Holt 73]

Sorry to hear this. This is a lesson not to believe anyone but yourself. 

No matter how we want the other one be with us in US but sometimes, they betray us. 

I hope you could calm yourself down, I also know how much you want her to be sent back to her country but God will do what He gotta do.

Move on, and love yourself. 

[MikeandThea 11]

1 minute ago, Holt said:

Sorry to hear this. This is a lesson not to believe anyone but yourself. 

No matter how we want the other one be with us in US but sometimes, they betray us. 

I hope you could calm yourself down, I also know how much you want her to be sent back to her country but God will do what He gotta do.

Move on, and love yourself. 

Thanks, I'm calm. More hurt than angry. Its gonna take some time to heal.

[Auds 223]

I have not gone through every message on here - but I do think you can get an annulment.  You have doctor's reports also to support that claim.

 

An annulment and updating the possibility of scam and the story will make it very difficult for her to renew her 2 year GC in the unlikely case she gets that...