Love

[Marry American 0]

if unable to speak the same language? I met my fiancé online. I made it a habit to date people in my same area and mostly people that I did not meet online. I was on an African American dating site. It was an international dating site also. However, I was only interested in people near me. When my fiancé sent me a message, it definitely peeked my curiosity because he was from Maroc.

While visiting Epcot, Maroc was my favorite country. I said I must go there for a visit one day. So when he sent me a message, I was really interested in Morocco, not him. It was not even practical for me to date someone from a different country. As we communicated more and more each day and got to know each other is when we decided maybe we could try something more serious. If he was not fluent in English, I would not have even been able to communicate with him or get to know him. Let alone talk and discuss a future together and more important things as well. We talked online for at least 3-5 hours each day, that is how we fell in love. How does that happen if the communication is not there???

Edited April 20, 2007 by i adore you

[morocco4ever 63]

When I met my husband he knew very little english. I would send e-mails, he would translate them into french. Then reply in french and translate into english. I have to admit, it took a lot of interpretation when I read his e-mails. But within the year we knew each other, and talking on a daily basis, he learned english to the point that he has no trouble here in the US whatsoever. I have to admit though, if he never learned english I don't think it would have turned out the same.

[JODO 2]

I met my fiance online and he spoke English already. I agree that communicating would have been difficult,but I guess if two people really want to get to know each other and make it work, they will come up with a way to make their feelings known.

[lion_lioness 0]

This is an interesting topic. Love can mean different things to different people and sometimes feelings are better carried out via action than words. In the case with many of his here though that was not possible considering our SO's were thousands of miles away. I'm with Adore You on this one, I've never been known to date americans anyway, always interested in what's different. To actually travel outside the country to meet someone would not have been something I could do except: a couple years ago, I went to Germany on business. To make a long story short, met a guy and hung out with him for the week I was there and his sister. Sister and I become good friends (still are to this day). My "fling" wore off with the guy but I enjoyed traveling and meeting new ppl. When I met my ex husband, I had already traveled a tiny bit and was comfortable doing so on my own. Although that relationship didn't work out, it opened my mind up even more and since I'd converted to Islam even thought about relocating overseas for a while.

Luckily my fiance speaks fluent english and so does his most of his family. He's lived on his own for years now and relates very much to my life, my past, family issues etc. Of course we started out as friends - he actually tried to intervene and help brings together with my ex until we all (my family included) found out about his lying. I don't remember the day that I fell in love it was a process. A combination of knowing this person knows all my flaws, mistakes and perfections (lol), despite that has never judged me and always there for me. I respect him and that means alot to for me to love someone else. I respect that despite all his flaws and opporutunities to become a royal f*** up he chose the right path with God and still looks after his family no matter what they may have/have not done for him.

There was a period where I disconnected myself from everyone, family, friends etc when I was going through my divorce. I went a week without speaking to my fiance and I become ill and dysfunctional as a result. Then when he called despite my telling him never to again and I heard his voice I knew I loved him. Next stop Amman

So whether you're looking for love, find it or hide from it until it captures you its interesting to see how others communicate - especially when so far away.

[Jasman0717 9]

What's not to love, look at that face

[lion_lioness 0]

Men (Jasman) lololol

can't live with them CAN live without them lololololol (just kidding)

[JODO 2]

Men (Jasman) lololol

can't live with them CAN live without them lololololol (just kidding)

[sarah and hicham 3]

This topic has been discussed many times.

Those who don't share a common language think that it's ok and that love is possible without being able to communicate with words.

Those who share the same language generally think that it would be very difficult to marry someone that they cannot even speak to and comprehend what is being said.

I guess depending on whether you can communicate with words or not changes your opinion. I personally did not and wouldn't even consider marrying someone who I couldn't fully understand.

[browneyez40 0]

I found this when reading up on the book Kabul Beauty School by Deborah Roderiguez...

found : http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display...8&view=auqa

Brief background- The author went to volunteer in Afghanistan, opens a beauty salon and ends up marrying an Afgani.

You are undoubtedly in love with your husband, Sam, yet throughout the book you make it clear that there is quite a significant language barrier between the two of you. How do you communicate in a way that allows you to stay emotionally connected and navigate the cultural differences that you run up against?

There are many days when I would say we don’t communicate at all. With time, I have learned what I would call “survivor Dari,” and he has learned English pretty well. When we combine my broken Dari and his broken English and some sign language, we do okay. The only thing I can compare it to is when your child is about two years old. Only you can understand what they are saying--it sound like gibberish to everyone else. It is pretty much the same for Sam and me. He often translates my Dari into Dari for Afghans, and I translate his English into English for the foreigners. One day I was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a mixed group of men and women, Afghans and foreigners. Sam looked at me and said politely, “Debbie your docon is open.” Translated into English, this would mean, “Your store is open.” I knew that he was saying, “Close your legs-- you are not sitting like a lady.” So we have come up with our own language.

Most of the time, we are navigating the cultural differences in the dark. I remember how difficult it was for Sam when a foreign male would greet me with a hug. Sam says that it still bothers him sometimes, but that he understands that this behavior is common among westerners. He told me when we first got married that it would be impossible for either of us to change overnight–“Slowly, slowly, we will learn and change.” And that is what we have done. We also know that my past is culturally unacceptable to him and his present is difficult for me. So we have decided to ignore these things. That makes our marriage very different from those in which partners want to know everything about each other.