Conditional resident wife is using restraining order to qualify for VAWA

[Boiler 45,434]

Always a good idea to read the replies.

 

Removing conditions with a divorce waiver is much simpler and would be the logical way to go.

 

The I 864 comes into play in 2 different ways, one is Government Benefits and your and your joints sponsors agreement to reimburse the Government and nothing you can do about that.

 

Immigrants have also used it as an argument/factor for direct support. Either as an action in Federal Court or as apart of the Divorce process at the State level.

 

Both are fairly rare.

 

Even rarer is for a Spouse to be deported in such a case.

[lysander 14]

I feel like my mom and I upheld our end of the deal because even though I wasn't giving my wife any kind of lavish lifestyle, we were giving her room and board and all her other basic necessities. My mom even paid her pretty generously for helping clean the house. We were obligated to support her well enough to keep her out of poverty, and I think we did that and more.

Edited September 22, 2017 by lysander

[Boiler 45,434]

Past is past, the I 864 still goes on.

[lysander 14]

23 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Past is past, the I 864 still goes on.

I think I'm going to get a lawyer to tell my wife that she has four options:

1. Reconcile with me, and finish putting in her two years, after which we can file the I-751 jointly.
2. Drop the restraining order petition and sign away her rights to sue my mom, in exchange for my filing for and finalizing a divorce before it comes time for her to file the I-751.
3. File for divorce on her own, which I won't sign for, with the result probably being that the case will still be tied up in court by the time she needs to file her I-751, causing her to become deportable. I could then finalize the divorce at my leisure when she's back in the Philippines and the I-864 is no longer in effect.
4. Carry on with this VAWA path and see if that works.

Edited September 22, 2017 by lysander

[Boiler 45,434]

5. File to remove conditions with a pending divorce waiver, nothing will happen but will not be adjudged until the divorce is complete.

[Going through 5,671]

6 minutes ago, lysander said:

File for divorce on her own, which I won't sign for, with the result probably being that the case will still be tied up in court by the time she needs to file her I-751, causing her to become deportable. I could then finalize the divorce at my leisure when she's back in the Philippines and the I-864 is no longer in effect.

In some states, it doesn't matter whether you sign the divorce papers or not---it would then proceed as an uncontested divorce.  

[lysander 14]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

5. File to remove conditions with a pending divorce waiver, nothing will happen but will not be adjudged until the divorce is complete.

Oh yeah, looks like you're right. I guess she wins, then. She gets to stay in the U.S. and sue my mom and do whatever else she wants, and there's nothing I can do about it because we signed up for this.

[Boiler 45,434]

1 minute ago, lysander said:

Oh yeah, looks like you're right. I guess she wins, then. She gets to stay in the U.S. and sue my mom and do whatever else she wants, and there's nothing I can do about it because we signed up for this.

[BuiQuang 95]

4 minutes ago, lysander said:

I think I'm going to get a lawyer to tell my wife that she has four options:

1. Reconcile with me, and finish putting in her two years, after which we can file the I-751 jointly.
2. Drop the restraining order petition and sign away her rights to sue my mom, in exchange for my filing for and finalizing a divorce before it comes time for her to file the I-751.
3. File for divorce on her own, which I won't sign for, with the result probably being that the case will still be tied up in court by the time she needs to file her I-751, causing her to become deportable. I could then finalize the divorce at my leisure when she's back in the Philippines and the I-864 is no longer in effect.
4. Carry on with this VAWA path and see if that works.

1.  She don't need you for that.  With a divorce, she can file the I-751 on her own.

2.  She don't need you for that.  She can file for divorce on her own and file the I-751 on her own.

3.  She don't need you for that either.  She can still get the divorce without your cooperation and file the I-751 on her own.

4.  She don't need you for that either.  And it will work.  You created the perfect scenario for her.

 

You don't know what you are doing.  You were warned not to marry her.  You don't have a clue.  You have zero leverage.  She don't need you to divorce and file the I-751 on her own.

 

Also, as her husband, you are obligated morally and legally to support her.  Giving her room and board and all her basic necessities was not generosity or holding up a deal.  It's your legal obligation.  Also, I don't know any couple who makes a deal for room and board.  You have no idea what a marriage is.  You only wanted to use this woman to be a breadwinner while you stay at home and not work as posted in posts from 2014.

 

Divorce and go on with your life.

[BuiQuang 95]

5 minutes ago, lysander said:

Oh yeah, looks like you're right. I guess she wins, then. She gets to stay in the U.S. and sue my mom and do whatever else she wants, and there's nothing I can do about it because we signed up for this.

Exactly, you signed up for this even after everyone warned you not to marry her.

[lysander 14]

3 minutes ago, BuiQuang said:

1.  She don't need you for that.  With a divorce, she can file the I-751 on her own.

2.  She don't need you for that.  She can file for divorce on her own and file the I-751 on her own.

3.  She don't need you for that either.  She can still get the divorce without your cooperation and file the I-751 on her own.

4.  She don't need you for that either.  And it will work.  You created the perfect scenario for her.

 

You don't know what you are doing.  You were warned not to marry her.  You don't have a clue.  You have zero leverage.  She don't need you to divorce and file the I-751 on her own.

 

Also, as her husband, you are obligated morally and legally to support her.  Giving her room and board and all her basic necessities was not generosity or holding up a deal.  It's your legal obligation.  Also, I don't know any couple who makes a deal for room and board.  You have no idea what a marriage is.  You only wanted to use this woman to be a breadwinner while you stay at home and not work as posted in posts from 2014.

 

Divorce and go on with your life.

Yeah, I'm definitely the only one who was trying to use someone in this situation, aren't I? I'm the psychopathic, vicious, predatory abuser, and she's the poor, naive, vulnerable, exploited victim who needs to be protected by the power of the state.

Edited September 22, 2017 by lysander

[caliliving 606]

Please, she is not going to sue your mom. Most immigrants come here for a better life and the goal is a green card. She just wants a green card and to move on w her life and find a man w a job that works and can support her. I also doubt she has the money for a lawyer to sue. Also most immigrants, contrary to America, do not want to ask for gov assistance. 

Divorce and move on. She just wants a greencare to be free from you. I would suggest perhaps getting therapy and help to move on and also to find your way in life. 

[BuiQuang 95]

Just now, lysander said:

Yeah, I'm definitely the only one who was trying to use someone in this situation, aren't I? I'm the psychopathic, predatory abuser, and she's the poor, naive, vulnerable, exploited victim who needs to be protected by the power of the state.

You both used each other and you lost.  Too bad, so sad for you.  Obviously, you the victim.   You did not plan to hold green card over her head to gain control.  You the good guy.

 

Why should anyone feel sorry for you?  You didn't get enough warnings not to marry?

[lysander 14]

Just now, caliliving said:

Please, she is not going to sue your mom. Most immigrants come here for a better life and the goal is a green card. She just wants a green card and to move on w her life and find a man w a job that works and can support her. I also doubt she has the money for a lawyer to sue. Also most immigrants, contrary to America, do not want to ask for gov assistance. 

Divorce and move on. She just wants a greencare to be free from you. I would suggest perhaps getting therapy and help to move on and also to find your way in life. 

If that's all she wants, fine. You're probably right. But in that case, what's the point of a restraining order? If she doesn't need to go the VAWA route, why get it?

 

Also, I notice people are advising me to contest the restraining order. Why should I, if she has nothing to gain by it? If it's just a matter of us going our separate ways, why not let her get the restraining order so she can feel "safe" that I'm not going to harass her (not that I was harassing her anyway; I was only texting her back when she texted me to try to start an argument)?

[lysander 14]

2 minutes ago, BuiQuang said:

You both used each other and you lost.  Too bad, so sad for you.  Obviously, you the victim.   You did not plan to hold green card over her head to gain control.  You the good guy.

 

Why should anyone feel sorry for you?  You didn't get enough warnings not to marry?

Are there marriages that aren't to some extent two people using each other to get their own desires met? The only reason talk of victimization gets brought into the situation is that she took it in that direction by taking out a restraining order. Otherwise, it would just be a regular breakup and divorce, without unnecessary drama. Happens all the time and is usually no big deal.