Marriage headed in downward spiral

[Murph4865 597]

I can not for the life of me understand how anyone would think a person that was written about thousands of years ago and all writings of said person is speculated and revised all the time can help in real world problems it is beyond my little mind to understand it all, but to each his own just wish people would quit pushing it on others it does say you are to let people discover on their own.

[JoBri 548]

2 hours ago, Noe&Estella said:

First and foremost seek Christ. Ask Him to guide you and that'll surely not be a divorce. Find a church ⛪ get involved. There is churchs out there that will give you and your husband free marriage counseling year round. Have faith and trust in Jesus Christ.

Good answer

[TBoneTX 45,304]

Stay on the OP's topic, please.  Avoid derailing the thread with other arguments.

[amul 229]

 

16 hours ago, zee19 said:

I can't speak for him but I think in his mind he believes we have to be together for the 2 yrs and after he receives the ROC he can leave. Or he's looking for me to pay the fee for ROC since I paid for the green card.

Is he currently working, if so then he can pay his way!

 

16 hours ago, zee19 said:

At this time I am looking for a place to move out.

As for infidelity, each of us have a different way of handling this type of betrayal. Some couples can work it out and many cannot. Personally, I cannot and will not stand for infidelity nor stay in such a marriage/relationship, but this is just me. 

 

I am sensing that you already know what your heart and soul needs. I think often we all do, but during emotional turbulence, we need a sounding board of some sort. This place offers immigration guidance as well as an emotional one at times. Emotionally, take the comments that apply to you or the ones that feels close to your heart. Do what you already feel in your gut since you are the one who is living your life.  

 

My personal feelings when it comes to deceitful, hurtful, disrespectful behavior is, eliminate the source and spend your time on yourself and people who need and deserve your time and love.

 

My best to you and may your wounds heal soon.

 

 

[Going through 5,671]

18 hours ago, zee19 said:

I know most will suggest a divorce but I'm not in the financial space right now to be able to.afford one

You've been married for what...about 2 years now?

If you don't have any children together, I would suggest the option of self-filing for an uncontested divorce to avoid high lawyer fees.  Given the length of your marriage, and therefore (I presume) not too many assets to divide, it can be easier and cheaper than you think...If you can prove financial hardship, you can apply for waivers for filing fees as well.

[lkh 1]

20 hours ago, zee19 said:

So I'm looking for advice on what options I have? My husband came here on  K-1 and he's approaching his 2yrs. But for the past year I have noticed changes in his behavior. A couple of months after he came he went to visit some family in a different state and when he came back i discovered he was attempting to hook up with a friend of someone in the family (of course he denied). I tried to move past that but i couldn't trust him. Fast forward we have been having issues mainly supposedly infidelity. He has made some friends at work and around but although he mentions them by name he has never introduced me personally and I had went through our phone records and discovered he was talking to a female at odds hours. When confronted, he told me and everyone that it was a friend then turned around and got ano extra phone # which he didn't give to me(we'r on the same.plan). Since the 1st incident he doesn't let me havery access to his phone ( based on principles). We did have an incident after the last argument where I threw his things out due to anger and disappointed. Our families have tried to intervene but he tells them I'm too jealous and that when he was coming we had agreed that we were only going to "try". We barely talk and I recently asked if he was happy, he replied "I don't know". I  would not have spent my time and money to "try". He also let it slipped that he has been documenting everything that has happened. I know most will suggest a divorce but I'm not in the financial space right now to be able to.afford one and I believe he is only waiting to get his permanent GC to leave.

Omg, we are in the same exact boat. a few weeks after my husband came here he went to see and started hanging out heavy with a sibling who did not respect our union and without me of course and she tried to hook him up. I also found out he was writing and recording certain conversations, surrounding disagreements, and private with his phone as well. What it balls down to is they're trying to CYA in case they have to file for their 10 year without you and make you look like the bad person so they can stay in the states. Its not fair and even if you divorce you are financially responsible for that person. Please inbox me on how you moved forward. I'm curious to see the process as I have been weighing my odds to protect myself from the headache of having to keep in contact with a divorced partner for 5 yrs. with the hopes he gets his citizenship. Also, follow your intuition, please.

[kris&me 572]

Quit supporting him

if u are paying for cell phone, stop

let him try to do on his own

don't pay for or support his ROC

he is approaching 2 years so he needs this / without u he can't get it

a divorce takes time and money / let him try on his own

offer only to buy him a 1 way ticket back

 

[Going through 5,671]

6 minutes ago, kris&me said:

he is approaching 2 years so he needs this / without u he can't get it

If he files for a divorce waiver with USCIS, he most certainly can get his ROC approved as long as he proves he entered the marriage with bonafide intent.  Many divorced people have accomplished this.

Edited September 18, 2017 by Going through

[Pee&Eee 70]

11 hours ago, Noe&Estella said:

First and foremost seek Christ. Ask Him to guide you and that'll surely not be a divorce. Find a church ⛪ get involved. There is churchs out there that will give you and your husband free marriage counseling year round. Have faith and trust in Jesus Christ.

The best answer thus far.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

  Who ever thinks you should seek Christ and stay in this hell doesn't have to live it. You are not a slave to this marriage and no more bond to it than he has been.  IF you are content with the feeling that he is doing things that doesn't better you as a unit , then learn to bite your tongue and stay in the relationship.  IF this is not what you are about and he is , neither of you will change so cut your losses and take action to end the relationship. 

[Boiler 45,525]

We seem to have every thing but a not a lot that relates to Immigration. He is mistake if he thinks he has to wait 2 years.

[NYCruiser 423]

2 hours ago, PrisEri said:

The best answer thus far.

Are these kinds of religious posts violation of the TOS??? It should be

[bad4tatt 168]

23 hours ago, zee19 said:

I had given him that option but stated that I won't pay for it. He didn't respond. I can't speak for him but I think in his mind he believes we have to be together for the 2 yrs and after he receives the ROC he can leave. Or he's looking for me to pay the fee for ROC since I paid for the green card. At this time I am looking for a place to move out.

PLEASE!!! Do yourself GOOD and DO NOT pay for anything.  Sounds like he was scamming the whole time. Let the POS deal with his mess. Leave and keep your money in your pocket. He fails to pay, he has to deal with consequences not you. He sounds like he's trying to scare you. He's the cheating liar not you. Call his bluff.

[bad4tatt 168]

3 hours ago, kris&me said:

Quit supporting him

if u are paying for cell phone, stop

let him try to do on his own

don't pay for or support his ROC

he is approaching 2 years so he needs this / without u he can't get it

a divorce takes time and money / let him try on his own

offer only to buy him a 1 way ticket back

 

I am NOT religious but, AMEN!!!!

[Going through 5,671]

17 minutes ago, NYCruiser said:

Are these kinds of religious posts violation of the TOS??? It should be

Not a violation of TOS to make posts regarding religion (so long as it is not hateful speech), but Moderator did comment saying to keep the thread on track, earlier (or else it risks getting closed).