Should the police protect Cho's parents?

[PaulineA 1]

I voted yes, his parents shouldn't have to suffer because of what he has done.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

London Mirror Link

...

Yang-Sun revealed the eight-year-old was diagnosed as autistic soon after his family emigrated to the US.

She said: "He was very quiet and only followed his mother and father around and when others called his name he just answered yes or no but never showed any feelings or motions.

"We started to worry that he was autistic - that was the big concern of his mother. He was even a loner as a child.

"Soon after they got to America his mother was so worried about his inability to talk she took him to hospital and he was diagnosed as autistic."

...

His uncle Chan Kim, 56, said: "He wasn't like a normal kid. We were worried about him not talking.

"Both his parents knew he had mental problems but they were poor and they couldn't send him to a special hospital in the United States.

"His mother and sister were asking his friends to help instead.

"His parents worked and did not have time to look after his condition and didn't give him special treatment.

"They had no time or money to look after his special problem even though they knew he was autistic."

(in response to homesick_american, erekose--no vote though)

Edited April 20, 2007 by CherryXS

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I agree it should, but I also agree with Almaty who said yesterday that the mental health issue has classically been an afterthought in cases like this, and sees no reason why this will change in future. Mental healthcare provision lags way behind the rest of the healthcare industry. Its underfunded and is represented largely by various new drugs designed to zone people out.

The lack of money to afford the care is another issue too. After all, states have executed people for committing murders while suffering from undiagnosed mental disorders. That should say something about the perception of these issues in the mind of the general public.

As to the VA killer - again I can't imagine his parents would have thought him capable of doing something like this in a million years. And again, what exactly can you do? Take the kid to a psychologist - they will not (and cannot) do ANYTHING substantive unless the guy has actually harmed himself or others.

Edited April 20, 2007 by erekose

[chri'stina 190]

I voted no. Why should they get any special treatment ?

How in God's name can you not know your child is SO screwed up? I know the guy was 23, but this doesn't happen overnight. They HAD to know something was wrong for a LONG time...there has to be some accountability with the parents.

It's just so sad...

Rose

As other have already commented on this, about him being an adult, etc, I also wanted to add something.

I know people who have a daughter who is 24 now, and she is out of control. NO matter how they have tried to help her, she keeps doing the same things over and over. She is on and off of cocaine and meth, always in fights with her 'friends', has emotional problems, has been arrested several times, has been baker acted and put into the Harbor(mental health facility), and yet is still out walking the streets today. Her parents have helped her soooo many times. She has a sister who has a normal, happy married life. So it's obviously not her parent's fault that she keeps going down the path of a horrible life and has emotional problems.

Of course I voted that Yes his parents should be protected. They don't deserve a lynch mob. They are probably suffering very badly right now, not only about what their son did but wondering why he did it.

[Caladan 19]

Absolutely. We don't believe in collective guilt in this country.

Edited April 20, 2007 by Caladan

[Jenn! 918]

I agree it should, but I also agree with Almaty who said yesterday that the mental health issue has classically been an afterthought in cases like this, and sees no reason why this will change in future. Mental healthcare provision lags way behind the rest of the healthcare industry. Its underfunded and is represented largely by various new drugs designed to zone people out.

Any ideas as to why this is? Reluctance to address the issue seems to be deep-seated in our culture and will be tremendously difficult to shake.

My best friend is a social worker who works at a home for the mentally ill. Her salary is laughable while she does one of the most difficult and noble jobs. Such a travesty.

[mybackpages 0]

I agree it should, but I also agree with Almaty who said yesterday that the mental health issue has classically been an afterthought in cases like this, and sees no reason why this will change in future. Mental healthcare provision lags way behind the rest of the healthcare industry. Its underfunded and is represented largely by various new drugs designed to zone people out.

Any ideas as to why this is? Reluctance to address the issue seems to be deep-seated in our culture and will be tremendously difficult to shake.

My best friend is a social worker who works at a home for the mentally ill. Her salary is laughable while she does one of the most difficult and noble jobs. Such a travesty.

I think some it can be traced to the mentality that Americans should pull themselves up by their boot straps. Anyone who doesnt succeed is somehow to blame. Mental illness is so misunderstood and for years was underdiagnoised. There is a large part of us that want us to be separated from them- as if it could not happen to us. That stigma is hard to shake.

[MrsBruce5 0]

You all make very good points, especially you, Kez. I respect your opinion, and I understand what you all are saying...

I still feel on many levels that his family should have stepped in more to protect their son and the community from himself.

Well...Off to work I go.

Hope you all have a good day-it's Friday !!! Whooo Hoooo....

Ciao !!!

[Saddle Bronc 124]

I agree it should, but I also agree with Almaty who said yesterday that the mental health issue has classically been an afterthought in cases like this, and sees no reason why this will change in future. Mental healthcare provision lags way behind the rest of the healthcare industry. Its underfunded and is represented largely by various new drugs designed to zone people out.

Any ideas as to why this is? Reluctance to address the issue seems to be deep-seated in our culture and will be tremendously difficult to shake.

A hint was given in erekose's post (bold part) to which you responded; it's in the vested interest of the pharmas--who are only too willing to fork out much $$ (unfortunately, still chump change compared to the revenue they get for these drugs) to ensure it DOESN't change.

Edited April 20, 2007 by CherryXS

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I agree it should, but I also agree with Almaty who said yesterday that the mental health issue has classically been an afterthought in cases like this, and sees no reason why this will change in future. Mental healthcare provision lags way behind the rest of the healthcare industry. Its underfunded and is represented largely by various new drugs designed to zone people out.

Any ideas as to why this is? Reluctance to address the issue seems to be deep-seated in our culture and will be tremendously difficult to shake.

My best friend is a social worker who works at a home for the mentally ill. Her salary is laughable while she does one of the most difficult and noble jobs. Such a travesty.

Because mental illness is largely subjective - aside from odd behaviour you don't 'see' the problem - like you do with conventional medicine. Its not a cancer to be removed or a blocked artery to be cleared.

[Alex+R 0]

I agree that the parents should be protected, but I don't think we can arrive at the conclusion that because he has a high-functioning sister, they are good parents. It sounds like they never properly dealt with their son's diagnosed autism, and I know there are charitable organizations who help poor families with autistic children. Personally, no matter how poor I was, I would prioritize getting my kid the healthcare he needed. "Worrying" about the kid was obviously not enough. Especially considering they are from Korea, and most Korean kids I knew at school had parents who were much more attentive and protective than the average American parent...

[Mags 112]

I think the thing to remember here is that we can theorise all we like. We won't ever really know how his parents brought him up and if that had any bearing on his appalling actions at VT.

[almaty 19]

I voted yes as well, but not for the reason gave. I also feel sorry for them.

SAME HERE

[homesick_american 1]

I voted no. Why should they get any special treatment ?

How in God's name can you not know your child is SO screwed up? I know the guy was 23, but this doesn't happen overnight. They HAD to know something was wrong for a LONG time...there has to be some accountability with the parents.

It's just so sad...

Rose

Because it's quite likely that someone would physically harm them or even kill them without protection. That isn't special treatment; that's preventing a crime.

[homesick_american 1]

Not exactly what I meant...I have a child of my own, and I know him inside out. I see his strengths, and his weaknesses. I know what level of respect he has for what's right and wrong-how he treats others, animals, and how he addresses life in general. As a parent, there is a VERY STRONG sense of what is going on in your child's head. If your child is "off"-you know it, and it is incumbent to take steps to help your child. Like I say, this didn't happen overnight. There HAD to be a history of instability, and it should have been addressed better. This guy should had more parental involvment in his illness. Yes, he was a legal adult, but the guy should have been institutionalized, given his history.

I am in no way stating that it is completely their fault-but as a parent-you KNOW your child. And as for police protection for the parents...did they do their part to protect the public from their child? I can answer that one quite clearly.

Rose

I think you'd be surprised at what children can hide from their parents.

Here's what I hid from mine:

* I was sexually assaulted when I was 9. They did not find out until I chose to tell them...11 years later.

* I began self-harming at the age of 9. They never knew about that.

* When I was 17, I developed an eating disorder. They didn't realize it; in fact, they positively encouraged it by telling me how great I looked. They have no idea that at that point I was absorbing MAYBE 400 calories a day and running a mile and a half to burn that off.

* When I was 20, I had a nervous breakdown. They still don't know about that.

etc., etc., etc.

When you combine shame, intelligence, and solid knowledge of the symptoms of mental illness combined with a lifetime of reading mom's lady magazines on the toilet, you can very easily hide whatever you want from your parents. You'd think that those four things would be something good parents would notice. My parents were not bad parents; I was just determined to hide these things from them.

Oh, and if you think that's good...you ought to hear about the girl in my sorority who successfully concealed her anorexia from her parents until she got down below 80 pounds...and she was 5'9"! Amazing what layers of clothing and the power of denial can accomplish.